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alexnader78
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Replicas (2018)
So bad it would still be considered pretty bad for being a no-name B-movie.
There has got to be some bought account posting 10/10s because this was just horribly bad. PLEASE DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE ! It was a complete waste of time.
The science in the movie talks about "Booting sequences" and "M-Phases", like it's the 90'. None of the technology even tries to sound or look believable.
The acting is just bad, no emotion, lines that make no sense being said at that moment .... even the rain couldn't hide the lack of tears at some point ... again, maybe excusable for some new actors, but these guys ? What did they need, a quick lump of money for Christmas, in exchange for some skyped-in movie scenes ?
Acting: bad, Story: bad, Sets: bad, Script: bad ... the list goes on. No redeeming qualities. Sorry, but none.
2:22 (2017)
Stay away at all costs (very minor event spoilers)
I put the spoiler tag, just in case, but I'll stay as far as possible from huge plot twists.
You can see from the age of my account, and number of reviews I've left, that I usually stick to using the "stars rating", only actually writing anything when I feel personally offended by how bad a movie was, wishing I could get my life back.
This is one of those cases. I mean, what the hell was that ?
Have you ever put a TV show/movie in the background while doing something else, then you look up at times, and you think: "Wait, how did we get to this ?" Well, that's how this entire movie feels like, even by paying close attention.
The script felt like it was three different movies just mashed together:
-The main guy has a job that was used as some sort of sad prop to explain why he cares about small details (it feels like his coworkers will fit into the story, but we never see them again). Then when he starts to freak about small details, even the main actress in the film is like: "Dude, those are just everyday city things, you're losing it" (only sane thing said in this movie). Then 10 minutes later out of nowhere she's like: "OMG, I believe". I'm sorry, what ?? Why, what, when, where did anything happen to change her mind ?
-There's no actual explanation how the characters all connect, they just do somehow. The two main characters meet in a bar (sure, fine), then seem to fall in love after just one evening (again, it's just a movie, things need to go faster than in real life). Then a third guy just materializes into the story, seemingly as a work colleague, but then from one minute to the next it's like they've been in a love triangle since the beginning, and has to chose between the two guys ... Like, did I just blink 40 minutes work of script away ? Then throughout the movie the characters all say weird lines out of nowhere (as a weak part of the plot) and the movie acts like that's just what people do, get places and names wrong, without anyone thinking: "jeez, that was weird, how'd I even know that", but nope, they just carry on.
-The main "event" that kick-starts the whole movie, at first looks like it will be something really cool and sci-fi/sciency, but somehow devolves into some weird art gallery project involving computers and art graphics, and even then that goes nowhere ... Every event that should be explained feels like the actor just kinda thinks for a second, and goes: "Wow, I totally get it now". Where are the montage scenes that pretend it took them longer than 30 seconds to just figure out "stuff", and move on to the next plot point ???
There's so much more to be said about this stain, but I said I would not spoil anything.
-The acting I think was bad, but then honestly I think it might also just be the script. It felt like the actors where all acting out a script written in a different language, where they were playing the parts and saying the lines, but the delivery was just off somehow, and the dialogue didn't add any substance to the story ... scenes just happen.
Overall Feeling: This movie is such a hot steamy pile of mess, that the best way to describe it would be: picture you had a weird friend, who used to be a waiter at the local small town dinner. You weren't "friend-friends", but you'd stop by to have a quick chat from time to time, and most of the time he'd say: "coffee is on the house", so you kept coming back.
Later on you got a real job and leave for the big city, and a decade goes by. One day, while in town visiting your parents, you decide to stop by for old time's sake.
THERE THEY ARE. TEN YEARS LATER. SAME FRIEND, SAME JOB. You wanna just walk out, because it's kinda awkward, but you feel sad for them, so you decide to stay. They come over, conversation is a bit rough, as you don't really have anything in common, even less than before. They mention they have been working on a movie script for the past decade and haven't shown it to anyone, but feel like you should be the first to read it. You try you damnedest to refuse, you're sure it will stink, but they come back and shove the "only copy" into your hands and go back to waiting tables.
You get back to your parents house, forget about the script for a week or two, then find it under some of your unpacked clothes. You decide at this point you're in too deep to refuse, so force yourself to sit down and give it a real shot.
It's this movie. It's bad, like really, really, makes no sense, horrible dialogue, scenes loosely stitched together, no distinguishable plot, bad. It's so bad you decide to never stop by that dinner again, worried that any sort of criticism will push this poor happy-go-lucky schmuck to blow their brains out.
That's where this script should have died.
Final Thought: the two hours I won't ever get back watching this mess, and writing this review, will not have been in vain if I manage to convince even one person to not watch this.
One Missed Call (2008)
Bad Remake
This is just one of those films based on a good film (the original is wicked), that Hollywood sees as an opportunity to remake and make a load of money off. Please do not help accomplish this ! The Japanese version was based on "what you can't see is scarier than what you can see !", and played out as a highly decent scary movie. But then came along the Americans (no offense, i'm one) which bases a movie nowadays on "how much money can we inject into explosions, shattered glass,blowing up cars,... that we won't have to pay to get decent actors ?". And voilà you get this turd of a remake. Get the Japanese version and stick to it, in it the actors at least look like teenagers, in the American version they all look over thirty. I mean come on, how dumb are we ? (or how many years in a row have they flunked class)