Abyss24 Reviews

The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior (2008 Video)

Not bad...Not good...Just something to watch

[2/10 · 22 August 2008]

Well, with the amount of glorification that this movie received on TV previews, I had high expectations for it. The truth of the matter is though, it wasn't at all what I expected it to be. The acting was extensively wooden and bland. The action sequences were laughable and in some cases unbelievable. The story was unnecessary and it had nothing to do with the first installment. Character development was non-existent, and all-in-all, it was just a boring movie. So I'd suggest avoiding this one. The first Scorpian King was 100x better than this, and even that wasn't spectacular. If you must see it then I'd suggest renting it. To me, it was just a movie that seems like it should be on the Sci-fi channel.

Die Hard 2 (1990)

Can't touch the first

[6/10 · 14 January 2008]

The first Die Hard was like the godfather of all action movies. It was what everyone looked for in an action movie. Die Hard 2: Die Harder, however, wasn't even close to making me feel that since of anticipation and excitement that the first had to offer. It was just another movie to me, but nothing special though. I'm not saying that this movie was bad, but it just wasn't "that" good, if you catch my drift. The story was indeed very simplistic and easy to follow up until the last 30 minutes of the movie. There were plenty flaws in this movie and Bruce Willis didn't really have that "edge" like he did in the first Die Hard. So for those of you who haven't seen it, but want to see it, just rent it. I didn't care for it that much to be honest, but it was still watchable and at least it wasn't like Battlefield Earth with John Travulta were there was no plot at all. Even so, there just wasn't enough "hype" for me, so just keep that in mind if you plan on seeing it.

Cabin Fever (2002)

That Ending........

[1/10 · 8 January 2008]

I've heard from numerous sources that this movie was very simple and anti-intelligent, so I never did have high hopes for it, hell, I didn't even want to watch it. So my tale of sorrow begins with me flipping through channels and some unknown force compelling me to watch this eyesore. I just kept thinking in my head, "it can't be that bad." I was VERY wrong. The plot (if there is one) of this movie is about college students (who are all unlikeable) who fall victim to a flesh eating virus and dogs from resident evil. The college students all die and then this ridiculously RETARDED ending shows up. It starts with two small children getting water from an obviously dirty and polluted stream. Why, you ask? To make lemonade of course! As if purified water is a thing of the past! That's still not worst part. These three black kids (who have on baggy clothes of course) show up at this white guy's shop (remeber that this movie is about a flesh eating virus) and begin to go in. The white guy runs into his shop and grabs a rifle and begins cleaning it, and then hands it to them...hmm Once this had been done, he then started pounding up with the black guys and they all start laughing AND THEN THE MOVIE ENDS?!!! WTF. What did that have to do with anything in the movie? Honestly, save yourself from the torture and evade this movie at all costs.

The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

The Death of the Trilogy

[3/10 · 12 December 2007]

This movie was impossibly flawed. It completely made me lose my appetite for the Matrix trilogy, and here some the reasons why.

1. There is only one good fight scene in the entire movie.

2. A good 75% of the movie is just talk, talk, talk, talk...

3. The french guy is an annoying bastard.

4. Zion looks like a crappy refugee center from New Orleans.

5. Agent Smith can't hurt Neo when they are exactly the same in strength and he outnumbers him by like 20,000 to 1.

6. This movie doesn't have anything to do with the first or third movies in the trilogy (it is its own failure pretty much)

7. Morpheus gives crappy speeches about things that don't even matter.

8. The Architect is a true A-hole, and he really doesn't even have a place in the movie (he just shows up and leaves pretty much with no intro or character development)

Honestly, I could spend the next 2 hours giving reasons why this movie is crap, but I have better things to do. The only thing about this movie that I thought was somewhat okay was the fight between Neo and the French guy's minions and the highway chase, but that's really the only good thing that you can squeeze out of this crap-fest.

Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

I fell asleep...

[1/10 · 6 December 2007]

I'd like to start by saying that I have never fallen asleep through any movie ever. Even if the movie was absolutely pitiful, I would force myself to finish it because I'm just someone who does that. But not in this case. Kingdom of Heaven is the absolute most boring movie in existence. About halfway through it, I couldn't even make myself stay up. I just fell asleep on my couch. I missed out on all of the ending and quite frankly, I just don't care, because it's not like I really missed anything right? Just do yourself a favor and don't bother with this one. It's not worth renting and honestly, you're better off watching grass grow, looking at your skin shed, or counting how many times your heart beats from now until you're 89. I wish that there were negative exponents on the grading scale.

0/10