Jack Doyle Reviews

Night of the Coconut (2022)

Like one of those league of super critic crossovers but worse

[1/10 · 27 December 2023]

The film is just bad. It is hard to say more than that, particularly as I liked his reviews. Technically the film is bad in every sense, the lighting, cinematography, sound, blocking, everything is either bland or badly done.

The acting is also incredibly bad and cheesy. The crossovers are so badly acted as to be painful. It is cringe at its worse. The writing and directing are straight up bad to the point where it is baffling, particularly given Willems' charm and skill as an essayist.

The old nostalgia critic films are probably technically worse and relied to much on parody, but this just feels lacking in ever regard. It feels like it just lacks any heart.

He seems like a nice guy so I'm glad this exists and he got to make his passion project. Its clear his strength is as critic and not a creative.

Poker Face (2023– )

Just a bit mediocre

[4/10 · 29 May 2023]

The show very much tests on how much you enjoy Natasha lyonne's as she is essentially playing herself, I'm not sure she's charismatic enough and can even be a bit grating.

The structure of the episode removes any sense of mystery as the murder is shown in full and at some length.

Her superpower of always knowing when people are lying also takes away any suspense from solving the murders.

So it is a bit of style over substance. It looks nice and is well shot but your mileage may vary on the "witty" dialogue which along with lyonne's herself seem to be the intended Unique Selling Point of the show.

If you enjoyed Johnson Knives Out you might like it.

The Diplomat (II) (2023– )

The weaker of the two Diplomats this year

[4/10 · 23 April 2023]

This show has been granted amazing access to The UK FCO so it was worth watching at least a few scene from the first episode just for the architecture.

That is about the best thing that can be said about this dramedy. Everything else is just mediocre and pedestrian. The directing, cinematography, writing and especially the acting is all mostly dull. Keri Russell seems to be trying her best but is out of league and comes across like a soap actor. The rest of the cast mostly British actors you've seen in better things are just dialling it in. Rory Kinnear gave a better performance as PM in Black Mirror. The one exception is Michael McKean as the US president, though he's gone full panto he at least seems to be enjoying the role. The biggest flaw the show has I'd tone it can't decide if it's a thriller, a comedy or a soap, though that may just be the lead's underwhelming performance and lack of range.

The plot basically has bumbling Brits saved by this stalwart American, with some bizarre rewrites of history.

I am surprised that the UK government gave such privileged access to this production that makes them particularly the FCO look so incompetent and entirely dependent on Americans.

There was a British show of the same name set in Barcelona earlier this year, that was mediocre but better than this.

Reminiscence (2021)

A tight future noir detective story = Key Largo meets Inception

[8/10 · 11 January 2022]

If you like Chinatown or Key Largo you'll enjoy this film. It's a good story, well constructed and told. The cast performs well.

It uses it's central conceit of memory manipulation well and does good world building. I liked the idea of a slowly drowning city. This led to alot of nice settings. If you enjoy Inception, Blade Runner, Westworld

Above all its solid, 20 years ago this would of been a solid performing hit.

Hopefully it will get a second life on streaming and the writer director gets the chance to tell similar stories in the future.

A Christmas Carol (2019)

The Hobbit of Christmas Carol Adaptions

[3/10 · 25 December 2019]

You have to question why the BBC spent so much money on this. It stretches out a simple story of redemption utterly unnecessarily and starts slipping down the pretentious flanderisation of Peaky Blinders.

In its effort to expand on the source material not only does it substitution iconic dialogue for substandard versions. It also muddles to the characters which in turn muddles the messages of the piece. I have never seen something look so well made be so bad.

Carnival Row (2019–2023)

Nice concept let down by a a poor lead

[3/10 · 12 October 2019]

The steampunk fantasy mix is a really interesting concept. However, despite some great supporting actors its weakness is at it's core and it really hobbles the rest of the show. Orlando Bloom is okay, but seems to be doing an impression of Ripper Street and is character is so clique to be a cutout compiled from the worst parts of Tvtropes. The show is really let down by Cara Delevingne. Her performance is wooden to the point of making the scenery look dynamic. Her irish accent is so bad as to border on offensive. It boggles the mind as to why she was cast.

Good direction and art design can't save it from poor writing and acting.

Super 8 (2011)

Poor man's Stranger Things

[5/10 · 4 November 2017]

This is JJ Abrams attempt at a Spielberg homage, and it has all of the typical Abrams flaws. First the good, the production value is good, it certainly has a lot of references, to just about ever Spielberg movie. The music, the plot, the characters are all reminiscent of classic 80s Spielberg movies most notably ET.

Unfortunately for ever good Spielberg beat, there is Abrams shortcomings. weak plotting, characters making choices not consist with their characterisation just so the plot can move along, and a third act that just falls apart. Abrams is by no means a bad director but he's a journeyman at best, and when he's trying to imitate Spielberg his flaws become all the more glaring.

Essentially this wanted to do, and failed to do, what Stranger Things succeeded to do with such aplomb. Spielberg is now a genre and some can do good genre pieces and some can do failed attempts at one.

Dear White People (2017–2021)

Funny and thoughtful

[8/10 · 29 August 2017]

I'm really surprised by the low ratings and poor reviews on here. The show is funny and thoughtful. The show is an improvement on the film.

The film had a disjointed episodic structure. So it is much better suited a serial format. The performances are strong and similar to the arrested development series Netflix made each episode focuses on a different character delving into their back stories. This really helps shows each characters experience of race.

This format also helps with some of the issues the show looks at it. Which I think the show handles extremely well. There is no one portrayed as a villain and there is no character I left the show disliking. There is a really good scene in the 5 episode where Reggie's white friend sings the N-word as he sings along to the song. Reggie isn't militant and just as casually as he can ask his friend to stop. As you watch the scene unfold you can see how a misunderstanding and the quickness to take offence can lead to conflict.

The show has it's issues, some of the choices in terms of edits etc portray inexperience, and there was one particular jarring scene in episode 5 were a group of people start talking directly to the camera, The show hadn't really pushed on the 4th wall at all up until that point so it pulled me out of the episode a bit.

I would advise anyone get past the title and actually watch it, its enjoyable comedy trying to tackle complex issues.

The Hollow Crown (2012–2016)

First series is great the second series is weaker

[6/10 · 11 August 2017]

Over all the BBC shows that it can outmatch the production value of Game of Thrones on a much smaller budget particularly its impressive battles. GoT has learned from this in recent years and no longer does a battle need to take up a whole episode.

The first series, started amazingly strong with Richard II, great performance from Rory Kinnear and Patrick Stewart showed why he was one of the finest living actors with his John of Gaunt speech. Jeremy Irons was superb as the old King Henry IV, and Tom Hiddleston did a cracking job as the young Hal. He was weaker as Henry V, and Branagh version was still better, particularly on the St Crispins day speech.

The second series makes a lot of odd choices. It starts well Anton Lesser returns as Exeter and Hugh Bonneville has a greatly nuanced performance as Gloucester. Ben Miles is a composite of Somerset and Suffolk, and the general machinations of political ambition are good. The wheels start to come of the wagon in sophie okonedo second scene, I'm not sure if she was directed to or chose to play the role as the villain from a panto, but her entire performance feels like it belongs in another play. Things only get worse when Benedict Cumberbatch lumbers into screen with full on cripface just being painfully embarrassing. It was a real pity the Jack Cade plot is lost as it juxtaposes nicely with the lords chasing the crown you have the common folk rising up to be free (though Shakespeare paints him as villain).

All in all the best Shakespeare you'll see outside the Globe, but let down with some poor choices.

The Walking Dead: Something They Need (2017) Season 7, Episode 15

Rick is Negan

[1/10 · 28 March 2017]

The worst sin in many movies and TV shows, the likes of 24s of this world is hero centre morality. Negan is a villain for what he did to Rick's group but Rick is still a hero despite doing the same to someone else? The problem with this episode, is that reverses a lot of the more interesting political plots over the last season. Instead theft and oppression is presented as being okay, if our heroes are the ones doing it.

It also wasn't true to what we've know of the characters why would Jesus or even Daryl go along with this plan? to put children in harms way, to rob a community of its weapons. It's just extremely bad writing, in a rush to a season finale.

If Rick is just the same as Negan, then their battle is meaningless and uninteresting as it just replaces one tyrant with another.

The Huntsman: Winter's War (2016)

Plot is standard, but the accents are so bad

[4/10 · 10 December 2016]

So this film has a fairly standard plot, if you've seen an action adventure movie before you've seen this one. It has all the standard tropes you'd expect and they're executed well enough. So if you have enjoyed other fantasy movies with a hero on a quest etc. You'll might enjoy this, or at least it will fill some time particularly over Christmas. The acting so okay, neither Blunt nor Theron are bringing their A game, so don't expect see Blunt's performance on par with something like Girl on a Train, or Theron's on par with the nuance of Furisa in Mad Max. However, a treading performance from either of these actors is still better than most movie stars at their best. Hemsworth tries and he is on a par with his Thor performance, but without someone like Tom Hiddlestin to carry him it's just not that good. Chastain is the biggest surprise certainly not on par in terms of her performance with anything since Blackbeard. The worst thing that constantly pulled me out of the movie was the awful Scottish/Irish accents (they never seemed clear which they were going for) If Scottish they are certainly the worse accents since Mel Gibson in Braveheart. unlike that film or Natalie Portman terrible accent in V for Vendetta the film itself wasn't strong enough to overcome this handicap.

The Crown (2016–2023)

Awful Royalist propaganda

[1/10 · 5 November 2016]

I can't believe how much money Netflix has wasted on this show. Though Claire Foy is a fine actress, most of the other performance are weak, the script is poor and the direction dull. Though to be fair it's attention to historic detail is impressive but this is also it's biggest flaw, as it might lead people to think this was anything other than 300 level of fantasy. In order to inject some drama into they show the Liz 2 in political discussions and the like that simply haven't happened in the 20th century and really not since before the Hanoverian kings. It's obviously based on the twee American idea that is often pitched for tourism that the Queen is somehow still akin to something like the reign of Liz 1.

Dull, huge waste of money. If you like Downton Abbey or Upstairs Downstairs (where incidentally Claire Foy was much better) then you might like this. Otherwise suggest switching to Amazon Prime, since Netflix has effective wasted it's budget to make anything else for the next few years!

Fear the Walking Dead (2015–2023)

Wasted potential

[1/10 · 2 May 2016]

I wanted to like this series, beyond the wasted opportunities of showing a slow boiling zombie epidemic, the plot didn't make sense and the characters were fundamentally unlikeable.

It is bizarre to me that walking dead is so good yet this is awful. The main fault seems to be with the writing, yet the performances are often wooden, so the actors aren't without blame.

The premise has problems, and it really should of been thought through more, how do slow moving zombies actually overwhelm a country like the US. It became more unbelievable when the military was deployed and knew headshot the zombies, once they have that sort of advantage how does the military lose? this wasn't thought or explained.

The show biggest problem is the characters are fundamentally bad unlikeable people, yet not in a compelling way like Frank Underwood or Roose Bolton, or Walter White. The characters are selfish unlikeable people but are still being written as if they are Rick Grimes in Series 1 yet committing actions making decisions he would make much later. So their is a disconnect between the sympathetic way they are being written and what they are doing this creates a disconnect, that just doesn't work, most high quality dramas had moved past the hero centric morality (which died out with 24) to more complex reflections yet this show writers seem to be stuck in the 90s. If the characters embraced their evil, like dooming the hospital, or torturing an innocent man then it would at least be watchable, it might not reach the heights of breaking bad, but when the heroes act like villains it just feels wrong like the narrative equivalent of the uncanny valley.

Speaking of which the characters would perhaps be more interesting if they were CGI, instead they are just dull, with boring relationships and clichéd traits. It often feels they are just talking at each other, and good helps them if any of them emote. The one light spot is the black businessman who though a bit of a caricature is at least entertaining. The characters inspire the opposite of what you have in the parent show I don't feel tense worried if they will die, I just hope they will.

Haven't started watching the second series yet, not sure if I will. AMC should have taken the opportunity to make the show an anthology with new characters in a new city seeing how the outbreak affects them. The one hope is that a character pulls a Carol, and has an arc that that takes them from insipid and annoying to compelling and complex.

24: Live Another Day (2014)

Quite Silly and a sadly wasted opportunity

[1/10 · 31 May 2014]

This is sadly the same insane jingoism that grew like a cancer on the original show.

It is somewhat silly to set in London and then have the CIA running around like an American law enforcement agency, firing guns without quickly get shot by the Met (having a gun in your hand in the UK gets you shot quite quickly!) It suffers from the same hero centric morality that becomes increasingly laughable.

The new additions to the cast are all quite dull and Lady Stoneheart the villain is entirely 2 dimensional. The President Heller just comes across as the poor man's President Bartlett.

Watch Homeland instead a much better and more morally complex show.

Star Trek: Voyager: Fair Haven (2000) Season 6, Episode 11

Voyager hits a new low

[1/10 · 15 August 2009]

A lot of voyager episodes were pretty bad, it had the weakest cast of any of the the 5 series, But this episode is so bad i think it gave me cancer. First you have some of the worst Irish accents ever, this from a franchise that stopped Colm Meaney using his real accent. What makes it worse is the constant references the characters make to the authenticity yet this is entirely an American fantasy of Ireland that bears no semblance to any reality. The plot is generally substandard, but even this is too much for Kate Mulgrew to carry. Its an awful episode, rather than watch go watch the wind that shakes the barley or an episode of TNG or DS9.

Day of the Dead (2008 Video)

Its movies like this that make me miss Mystery Science Theatre 3000

[1/10 · 13 February 2008]

I like zombie movies, i do and most are bad but guilty pleasure all the same. This movie however is one of the worst movies i have ever seen it is bad for a zombie it is bad for any movie, i'd rather watch godfather 3 than watch this, hell i'd rather watch Santa Claus Vs the Martians. You are undoubtedly think it can't be that bad but you'd be wrong. Where to begin, well this movie bears not relation to the plot of Day of the Dead and seems like a poor cash in by the copyright holder of that on the success of the Dawn of the Dead remake, (also starring Ving Rhames but more of that later). The plot actually feels like it was lifted from the Res Evil games meshing elements of 1 2 and 3 the military quarantine a town, virus runs amok, secret experiments etc. This might fill you with hope, if it does your'll be sorely disappointed. So whats wrong with the film, well the acting is bad even for a zombie movie, the script can only of been written by a child or a group of the higher primates (and if its the latter then i guess that would deserve some respect), and the camera-work and editing is so bad at points its hard to tell whats happening. The cardboard characters consists of three marines (how they became marines is beyond me) of Mena Suvari as Jill valentine, coming back to her hometown after leaving (apparently its complicated but never explains why), a Ghetto Stereotype, and newbie aka zombie bait aka bub (the only reference to the original), an evil government doctor who habitually lies for no apparent reason (like claim not to have a car) and is evil (to emphasis this a nurse begs for help by his car in the zombie infested parking lot, but he just pushes to some waiting zombies for some reason?) plus some towns folk like Mena's brother and his girlfriend or something. At this point you might be wondering why i haven't mention Ving Rhames character, Black Authority figure, thats because it really was only a cameo no doubt in a effort to link this to the Dawn of the Dead remake he appeared in, when the best character in a zombie movie dies 5 minutes in to the actually zombie attack you got start questioning the film. So after what is a pretty terrible build up, (apparently stoners can hang out at abandon missile silos housing secret military labs, who knew?)At the hospital you half expect Hugh Laurie to gait by on his cane as the film liberal steals, ahem homages from House with a scene apparently show the activation of the virus. Most of the special effects are sub par not bad enough to make you laugh just poor, and i expect this was because they wasted most of the SFX budget on the House cgi. So the zombies aren't zombies not really coming somewhere between the comedy zombies of night of the living dead and the those of 28 days later, but what they most remind you of is deadites and its at this point you realise this movie could of been awesome, if they had cast Bruce Campbell and rather than stealing the plot of Res Evil stole the plot of Fistful of Broomsticks but alas this is not to be. The Zombies have superpowers (like crawling on ceilings) are smart (they can hide bodies in cupboards, pretend to be a corpse, understand directions given over a radio) and in the case of one zombie dodge bullets like Neo (honestly though he is apparently the zombie messiah since scientists are know for the physical prowess) oh and they fall in love (zombie love story i wonder if the zombie virus can be sexually transmitted?). Thats right Bub the newbie moron soldier, get bitten and smitten, and apparently doesn't attack people because he was a vegetarian in life. However Bub does reckon the best part of this movie Mena Suvari arse, thats it the sole good point of this movie is her Arse, for the ladies there's nothing unless your into black stereotypes, women or rotting corpses (in which case you got a whole other set of problems). This movie is like a parody without the comedy, the only way this could be redeemed is by a Mystery Science Theatre 3000 commentary or if they re-cut it to star Bruce Campbell.

In conclusion if you like Mena Suvari rent American Pie or Beauty, if you like Zombies rent the original.

The Palace (2008)

If you like quality television AVOID

[1/10 · 22 January 2008]

I don't know where to begin with how bad this show is, ITV has always struggled to compete in the drama stakes against the established quality of the BBC and the indie hipness of Channel 4, the unloved middle child with only the rare gem in the past decade. The palace however is a new low, From the poor acting and directing to the abysmal dialogue and plotting. ITV has never been well acquainted with reality in its Drama, (aside for when Paul Greengrass feels charitable towards the channel) the Bill is as about as far removed from actually policing in the UK as possible, But the Palace takes this to new depths, as it tries to depict the King actually having real power in what is largely a well paid ceremonial role. They have been many comparisons made to the West Wing, and while it is true they are both political dramas, its like Comparing Paul W.S Anderson to Steven Spielberg there both directors, And as with that comparison they really is nothing to compare one is superbly acted directed and brilliantly written by Aaron Sorkin.

If i was forced to watch this again i would seriously consider chewing through my own wrists to escape into what ever life is after this. If your desperate for British Political Drama buy House of cards on DVD, and if you like good Drama avoid the Palace like the Plague.

Chuck (2007–2012)

Too little Idea for a series

[4/10 · 30 October 2007]

The Pilot for this show would of made a good movie, but it just doesn't have the substance for a series. The humour is patchy at best mainly left to Adam Baldwin to hold on his own, most of the other character feel like 2 dimensional stock characters at best, and other than Baldwin none of the main cast really seem to try. since the pilot the plot has essentially been the same week to week and at this earlier stage to have already got dull and repetitive is surely a bad sign this earlier into its first season. the fact that it doesn't really drive on characters or plot, is probably down to bad writing, so it possible that with a new writing staff and some slight reformatting/recasting this could be good. To be honest i doubt there be a series 2 of Chuck i won't probably watch next week.

Veronica Mars (2004–2019)

Wossing out of Good Ideas

[7/10 · 14 October 2007]

So having heard so many people exclaim the genius of this show, i decided to see for myself. so naturally i started at the beginning, and i was surprisingly impressed with the pilot. It was subversive, it takes the style of OC and its similar tripe, but layers it with a social commentary that those shows lack, and this was to me the most interesting aspect, it was the "The Wire" meets the OC. The first episode had excellent dialogue, well drawn characters and a good story, however by the next episode most of this was abandoned, the first bad sign was the name Paris Hilton in the credits, instead of being poor, they're comfortable having moved to a nice if small home as opposed to the more grim complex of the first episode, the unresolved plot of Veronica's mother being in a motel is simple abandoned as is the story of her rape. Instead of being a social outcast, Shes more accepted as a "rebel". In short it bottles out of the interesting ideas it originally had and settles instead for a bland mystery of the week format. The highpoint of the show remains the acting, Kristen Bell shines out as an extraordinary talent, and more than carries the show.

Bionic Woman (2007)

Expected the re-imagined battlestar, got the original instead

[1/10 · 27 August 2007]

I like Battlestar Galactica, its a good remake of a terrible 70s show. This on the other hand is the polar opposite. The effects for the most part are bad, and at some points cartoony. The dialogue is sub par for the most part and the characters unimaginative to say the least more accurately to say there stock characters drawn from "the big book of thriller stock characters for dummies, TV edition". The few bright spots are those performances from Eick's Battlestar cast, Starbuck as the evil first Bionic woman was good but let down by poor writing and character that is just crazy without motivation. In every regard it is failed by the writing one of the key themes female empowerment isn't so much subtle underlayed in the story but bludgeoned into you at ever dialogue opportunity. However if the writing and the special effects were improved it might be OK, though unlikely to every excel since the star Michelle Ryan lacks the acting ability to be the centre of the show, unlike the ensemble of battlestar this show will ultimately live or die by her performance. probably be cancelled after a season, or get transfered to Sci Fi channel.

Shrek the Third (2007)

Bad casting

[1/10 · 22 May 2007]

Justin Timberlake ruins this movie its just incredible bad casting.

however as whole the film is OK not as good as the previous two instalments, Eddie Murphy and Antonio Badaras save this film as they did in the previous ones.

In all honest it could be just cut to the scenes there in and nothing would be lost from the movie. on the whole this seems to be aimed less at kids and more at there parents. This film lets the other two down immensely its nearly as bad as godfather 3.

Hopefully there end the franchise with this one rather than make a desperate grab for more money.

Freelancer (2003 Video Game)

A Terrace on the foundations of a Mansion

[22 April 2003]

Freelancer is the greatest game that never was. Chris Roberts original idea was for a huge fully dynamic universe were your actions could in one system could affect another system eg pirating all the gold going to New Berlin thus increasing the price of gold on New Berlin. Unfortunately after microsoft bought digital anvil in order to get its hands on freelancer they became impatience with Roberts and sacked him his number 2 took over and sped up production abandoning alot of the stuff that should have been in the game, Scripted sub missions, subplots, upgrades to the sensors, the ability to actually join a group rather than just freelancer, and most importantly the ability to actually affect the universe in any real way. However it is a good game just not what it should have been. they laid the foundations of a mansion but only built a terrace on top. a missed opportunity. lets hope they make a wing commander 6