jnaizer Reviews

Crank: High Voltage (2009)

One Laugh Track Short of a Parody

[9/10 · 26 August 2009]

After having seen Crank: High Voltage, I realize it felt more like something you'd see on Mad TV than an actual movie. They took all the elements from the first Crank (which I loved and remains one of my all-time favorite films) and bloated it up, made it edgier than before, sounds cool and great right? That's what I thought, but somewhere in between all the execution flew right out the window. The people behind it knew it and didn't care, while we're stuck watching the garbage product. Of course the directors are still trying to market this wrench at the same time so the excuse is "It's supposed to be like that!"

It's a laugh track away from being a Mad TV sketch; it's a parody of the first Crank and not at all a sequel in the vein of its original. The original Crank knew when to be funny, when to be serious. For some reason, Crank 2 only knows how to be stupid and loud. It makes fun of the first Crank all the way around. Did they think this was the only way to do a sequel? "People won't see Crank 2 because they'll think it's a dumb sequel, so let's make it dumb!" Guess what? They did, and nobody went to see it.

It had all the right elements and a cool premise for a mindless action film, but even for a mindless action film it collapses from careless execution and irrelevant characters and scenes. You'd have to guess the first cut of the movie turned out to be only 40 minutes long and the directors went to the editor, "Hey! Remember all those scenes that added nothing to movie? We'll expand them and add them back in! Boom! Full-Length!" Save your money and watch the first Crank again. Crank 2 gave me a 2-hour headache when it was over.

Æon Flux (2005)

Subpar sci-fi flick

[4/10 · 21 December 2005]

After watching this movie, it was hard to believe Charlize Theron was the star. Hot off the trail of Oscar worthy films, this movie doesn't seem to continue her streak.

At times, the movie seemed to drift off into confusing and mindless directions. Once I figured out the plot, which was about 3/4 of the way into the movie, I felt I already missed the point. The elaborate sets and stunts were visually appealing, but vivid emphasis on the story necessary to complete the movie, was missing. For those of you who really like to think to decipher your movie-going experience, perhaps long after the movie is over, then this is for you. For people like me who like to know what's going on, as it's going on, this probably isn't the one.

Fun with Dick and Jane (2005)

Mediocre comedy

[7/10 · 21 December 2005]

I probably went to this film expecting too much. Being a fan of Jim Carrey, and seeing that his last major comedy was Bruce Almighty in 2003, I thought the time was right for his next big performance.

The acting was good, but a number of the jokes seemed forced and undeveloped, sometimes lacking spark. The movie had its funny moments, but not quite enough to drive the film into the laugh-out-loud genre. A portion of the material is dry and there were scenes were the building climax would abruptly end, leaving questions about the main characters unanswered at the end of film. While the movie is enjoyable, I didn't get that great movie feeling upon leaving the theater. While the film has a good concept for a remake, with a good cast, this is one of Carrey's weaker films. I think Jim missed some expansion opportunities for not doing sequels to his more successful films with established characters. This film makes it evident that he is not always being able to build from scratch.

Bewitched (2005)

Great cast, but poorly coordinated.

[4/10 · 26 June 2005]

The casting for this film was great, in fact, it's the only thing that saved this movie from a poor telling perspective and a bad script.

Will Ferrel's comic relief was a welcome offering to an otherwise dry and slow moving remake. There wasn't much of a plot here, and from what story segments we were given, they were so choppy and poorly executed, we almost were forced to come to our own conclusion in scenes. There were just moments in this film that had no coordination or any real purpose at all. After the movie, you're left wondering, "Where were they trying to go with that?" or "What happened? They never came back to that."

Cram (2003– )

No play along value, how did this get on TV?

[7 March 2003]

Well... First off, the show has no play along value like better shows, Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune might have, unless you actually obtain the absurd materials they have on the show... and the show over-all is just pointless and boring, and the final rounds are just plain weird.

I don't know how this show made it on TV...

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (2002– )

A great show!

[19 February 2003]

A great show, it's great that they decided to keep the top prize $1,000,000 considering it's syndicated and usually the budget is tighter. It's still exciting, although I do miss Regis as host, Meredith is good (and better at pronounciations) but a little too dull at times for such a high adrenalin show like Millionaire.