Planet-38 Reviews

Night Swim (2024)

Not a Passable Horror Movie

[6/10 · 7 February 2024]

This would have been a decent family drama, (with a little bit of the supernatural thrown in if they wanted to keep the rescue scene with the coin), if they had left out the so-called horror part of the film. I found the "horror" laughable, and each time that part of the movie was presented, just rolled my eyes.

I enjoy watching both Wyatt Russell and Kerry Condon in other films, and thought, that even though this one had such a low rating on IMDb, the rating wasn't so low, that I wouldn't give it a shot. It wasn't a complete waste of a little over 90 minutes, and again, the family drama part of the film was mildly interesting to watch play out. If only that was the crux of the plot.

Would the son be bullied at the new school? How would the former sports star dad deal with it? Would the daughter wind up losing her "virtue" to be one of the popular crowd? Would the dad cheat and the marriage implode now that he wasn't in the limelight? Oh well, I guess it would have been too much like an after school special, instead of a lame attempt at a horror movie.

The Andy Baker Tape (2021)

Good Idea. Bad Execution.

[4/10 · 13 June 2023]

This movie premise was a good idea, but the execution is the problem that left a lot to be desired. How can a grown adult, that is supposedly internet savvy, be so oblivious and self-centered that they would be so interested in getting a cable TV show, that they would meet a stranger, give them full access to their life, without vetting them in any way?

And then, to compound the idiocy, that stranger behaves in an increasingly unhinged manner, and you still keep bringing them back into your intimate circle, inside your home, like nothing ever happened?

Is fame so important to this man that his safety and well- being doesn't even cross his mind? Did it never occur to him at any point that there might be some resentment and ill will present that would need to be addressed? Nope. He just blithely brings this stranger into his life and the more increasingly unhinged behavior is just ignored.

I wouldn't have turned my back on this man for an instant, and could see the ending coming within the first 15 minutes. When I started the movie, I thought that the half-brothers disappearance was caused by some outside force, but by the end of the introduction to Andy period, I knew what was coming. Thank goodness it only took another 55 minutes to be proven right.

In movies, grown individuals, with no indications of common sense, always take me out of the viewing experience due to all my eye-rolling at their behavior.

Walking Out (2017)

I Did Like This Movie, But...

[7/10 · 9 November 2022]

I did like this movie, but...it was better the first time I watched it. The reasons I gave it 8 out of 10 stars the first time I watched this movie, was the scenery first, and the story second. I was in the mood for beautiful scenery since I had just been gifted a 39" TV. The movie and the review holds up for this, the second time viewing.

What loses out the second time around is the story-line/plot. I just don't understand why someone would take a city raised teenager, who has no experience with guns, hunting, or the great outdoors, into extremely remote and harsh wilderness, to hunt big game on their first hunting trip. This fourteen-year-old is ill-prepared for this venture, even if he was eager for the experience, which he, initially, is not. He has no lessons in gun use or safety, and the brief, can we even call them instructions, he is given by his father, in no way prepare him to be in a dangerous and life-threatening situation of any kind. Add to that, the fact that he has no experience in suburban woods, much less the remote, if starkly beautiful terrain he is taken to. Terrain he is experiencing for the first time, at the start of winter no less.

In addition, their relationship is estranged and strained to the point of non-existence at the start of the journey, so he is unlikely to even be really listening to anything his father is telling him, after being ticked-off at having to leave his smartphone behind. He is not told how dangerous the animals they may encounter may be. In fact, there is a point in the movie, where he shows that his father hasn't even told him what type of animals they might encounter, beyond the moose they are hunting, much less what types of behaviors to expect. The father had a great relationship with his father, and enjoyed fishing and hunting with him. It does seem from the little detail given, that his father taught him well. So, why he thought that he could just up and dump his son into this situation, with only anecdotes of the past, grumbling about his son's upbringing with his ex-wife, and some brief gun use instruction, is beyond me.

Watch it for the scenery, but if you have any experience in the great outdoors, try to suspend your need for a realistic plot.

Speak No Evil (2022)

How Could Parents Be That Witless

[1/10 · 1 October 2022]

I could not stand the parents of Agnes. What spineless, witless, down right stupid people. All of the red flags that they just stood by "helplessly " with their mouths open and let happen.

What, so called loving parent would let themselves be, not even bullied, but just, rushed into leaving their child with an absolute stranger that they can't even communicate with?

What, so called loving parent would let some man they barely knew, take their daughter into bed with him naked?

What, so called loving parent would, after escaping the situation, return their child to a household after being treated disrespectfully, and being taking on a drunken wild ride?

Agnes' father was the worst of the two, so bent on trying to force his wife into living more "adventurously" that he is willing to do just about anything to win the host couple's approval, even putting his family in danger.

I had hoped that Agnes' mother would have more of a spine, but she just stood there opening and closing her mouth like some fish out of water. Look lady, you were willing to get your family up and leave in the middle of the night, but when confronted, you can't defend your decision any better than that?

And then you return to stay with these people like it was all a big misunderstanding? Less stupid in the gene pool please.

By now, I am yelling at the screen, "Leave! Just leave! You owe these people nothing and will never have to deal with them again!

Are people really so polite that they would just passively allow themselves AND THEIR CHILD to be led to slaughter? The host sums it up when telling them why these things are being done to them, wait for it...

...because they let them happen to them.

And that is so true.

Just disgusted I wasted my time with this mess.

Support the Girls (2018)

Well Done

[10/10 · 27 September 2022]

I think the negative user ratings on this movie (critics seem to like it) is that it is listed as a comedy. It isn't. It is a measured look at one day in the life of the protagonist.

But, many viewers probably went in thinking they were in for a lighthearted romp in the vein of "Pineapple Express" or "Girls Trip", and this movie is nothing like that.

What it is, is a well written, well acted, look at what goes on in those "Hooters" type establishments. The casual misogyny, sexism, racism, vulgarity, hypocrisy, and subtle (and sometimes, not so subtle) threats of violence, and having no actual real power to do all that needs to be done, or make any changes, all dressed up and presented with eye-candy in skimpy "uniforms".

Anyone that has worked in restaurants not owned by them, might have been able to relate to and enjoy the movie. But, not if they started watching the movie because they were looking for some lighthearted entertainment.

It's not necessarily a sad movie, but it isn't a comedy either.

The Reef: Stalked (2022)

It's Not That Bad

[6/10 · 6 August 2022]

Granted, it's not an Oscar contender, but aside from all of the tropes used, and visual differences between the shark scenes and all other scenes (it looks like they used actual nature show and/or stock shark footage, spliced into their movie), it was a decent enough movie to waste some time with. The acting was better than adequate, and although there are some plot holes one could drive an SUV through (why is it that in some movies, people that spend their entire lives around water, have no clue how to handle water related emergencies), it's not a bad story line.

Basket Case (1982)

I Wanted to Like This

[1/10 · 11 May 2022]

I wanted to like this movie, since the plot summary sounded interesting and it is supposed to be a cult favorite, but for me it was just cringe inducing. Horrible acting, dumb dialogue, awful special effects, and on it goes. I was cringe laughing through most of it.

I tried frequently reminding myself that it was from the 80's, but Jaws is from the 70's and it still stands the test of time.

This movie is just bad for any era as far as I'm concerned.

Swim (I) (2021)

No Redeeming Qualities

[1/10 · 11 January 2022]

Where do I start?

Let's see,

A lousy script with a trope filled plot.

A badly done CGI shark that goes from 5-10 ft in length, depending on the scene.

That a shark this size, does the amount of damage it does; was any research done at all? After the first kill, unless that shark was on some sort of vendetta, I don't see it going to all that trouble.

And speaking of size, how did it get through that tiny hole in the basement?

And, how did the water level reach the ground floor, when the water wasn't that high outside, AND not come under the basement door, even though the water level apparently was high enough for the shark to slam against the door?

People that supposedly frequently spend time at the beach, have no means of handling emergency situations.

All of these people are adults, and supposedly intelligent, but make some of the dumbest decisions possible. For instance, they finally get through to 911, but do the immediately give their information? Nope! They hug and celebrate. I expected them to pop open some beers. Of course they lose the connection when they finally get around to responding to the dispatcher.

This was the first movie that I didn't hurry through what I was doing during the commercials or rewind if I missed anything. It was that bad.

I'm not even sure who the survivors were or how it actually ended, since I was barely paying attention the last 15 minutes or so.

Centigrade (2020)

Too Long

[10/10 · 27 January 2021]

This isn't the first movie I have watched recently, that wouldn't have been bad, not award worthy, but at least watchable, if 15-20 minutes had been cut, before release.

This could have been a "it didn't suck" 6 rating if it had been a good 20 minutes shorter. But, I was starting to lose interest, and checked to see that there were 35 minutes left!

Editing failed this one.

Greenland (2020)

Couldn't Sit Through It

[5/10 · 4 December 2020]

I shouldn't really rate this because I couldn't stand more than 30 minutes of it. It is one cliche' after another, and lots of stupid, stupid decisions. Add to that, I know I saw this before. No. Wait. That was World War Z.

While, I can understand being scared and not being able to make split second decisions, the lead characters in this film must have spent all of their previous lives without any forethought to their actions or any possible consequences. Since I could see every conflict coming, because it is just full of cliches', their dumb as rocks decisions just made me angry, not a good mood for what should be an entertaining distraction.

The Sea of Trees (2015)

Life Is Not an Action Movie

[10/10 · 28 November 2020]

"Thank you for taking care of me."

I will never understand why this movie was so disliked by critics.

I am watching it for probably the third or fourth time and I am still deeply moved by the story. Yes, it is slow paced; yes, the story is non-linear. I stuck it out past the initial "same old first world problems" parts because I was curious about the whole "sea of trees" (Aokigahara Forest) mythos, that I did not previously know about. But, as I watched the story unfold, I wanted to know the why, and I was hooked. What the story says about life, love, relationships, guilt, survival and the human condition and spirit resonates and shines through if you are patient, listen and stay until the end.

Finally, it is beautifully filmed, and masterfully directed and acted.

Christmas Land (2015 TV Movie)

Ridiculous Premise

[1/10 · 20 November 2020]

I was enjoying this up until the so-called savvy business woman signed a contract, on the property sale, from a stranger, without reading anything other than where to sign her name. She never had the property appraised for it's value, didn't have the contract reviewed by legal counsel, just had lunch with the prospective buyer, again, who was a complete stranger to her, and her avaricious boyfriend, and promptly signed the contract. Again, without reading it.

Then, finds out she has been lied to, and is again taken advantage of, and extorted out of almost double the asking price to get it back. What happened to the smart, accomplished woman, that this story started out with? Someone, who never, in a million years, would sign something over lunch without reading it.

Pure dreck!

Help Me Help You (2006–2007)

Absolutely Brilliant!

[10/10 · 5 April 2020]

I loved this when it originally came out, and am so glad I had TiVo at the time, because I still think it is one of the best television comedies I have ever seen over 10 years later. Ted Danson is superb as an egotistical, self-unaware therapist and the supporting cast are equally believable in their character roles. I still laugh.

I never did find out why it was cancelled so abruptly and the final four episodes never aired.

12 Angry Men (1957)

What A Powerful, Powerful Movie

[10/10 · 11 January 2020]

I just saw this movie for the first time. Ever since I can remember, I have heard about this film, seen it spoofed, honored and referred to in many different mediums. Now I sit here wondering why it took me so long to view it.

The performances are electrifying, riveting, and evocative. No wonder it has stood up so well to detailed critical review and evaluation over time. For a movie that is over 60 years old and that was made in a time when social attitudes and mores were far different, its messages, and the movie itself, are still very (if not even more) relevant today.

Noelle (2019)

Don't Believe the Negative "Professional" Critic Reviews

[10/10 · 13 November 2019]

If you like, cute, heartwarming, and funny then I suggest you check this film out for yourself. Anna Kendrick is as usual a delight and the rest of the cast doesn't disappoint. Like the movie Elf, it has a message for the tenderhearted, the kid in all of us. I laughed, smiled and shed a little tear.

I plan to add this to my annual Christmas playlist as soon as I can.

Pet Sematary (2019)

Completely Misses the Mark

[1/10 · 10 August 2019]

I eagerly awaited this release. Stephen King's novels have proved difficult (in my opinion) to translate to film because he is a master at engaging the reader's imagination. It's all about the psychological. And, he is very good at description - a master of f*ing with your mind. I can still, picture in my mind the death of Gage, so many years after I originally read the book. But, with the advances in technology, I was hopeful the movie would master the psychological horror attempted in the first movie. But, this new release is really just a run of the mill zombie movie disguised as a remake. It doesn't stay true to the novel or the original movie, and the lack of character development made it a waste of a good story-line. The 1989 release did a far better job, considering the limits of the time, at giving the viewer a feeling off dreadful understanding of the motives, and horror at the results.

Single Parents (2018–2020)

Nice!

[10/10 · 15 March 2019]

So far, I love this show. It is funny, real, and very entertaining. I watch it on Hulu, so I have to wait a bit to see each new episode, but it is worth the wait in my opinion. All of the actors play their roles well. (I think my favorites though are the twins.)

What can I say, I eagerly await each new episode.

Wolf Creek (2005)

I wanted to like this, really I did.

[3/10 · 23 September 2017]

Throughout the first hour of this movie, I kept thinking I had seen it before.

I then realized that I was just watching "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" set in Australia. Perhaps I actually had seen "Wolf Creek" before, and it bored me then also, I don't know. To me the movie is just stupid people doing stupid things (Did these people know nothing about the Australian Outback? Why beat the guy on his (mighty, powerfully built) back with the gun? Why not bash his head in? etc.) I kept telling myself that these were young people that generally feel they are invincible, and so probably didn't plan or really look into the culture, background, possible problems of the place they were visiting. Plus they were terrified so probably not thinking rationally. But, even adopting that attitude didn't make this movie any more convincing.

Killing Hasselhoff (2017)

Agree With Another Reviewer

[8/10 · 4 September 2017]

If a movie makes me laugh several times, I can be very forgiving. And while not gut busters, they were outright honest chuckles. It has the look of a low budget, no name(s), made for TV (or straight to DVD video), and the story-line is pretty trite, but the actors do their jobs and that makes the movie entertaining.

Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)

The New James Bond Franchise?

[8/10 · 4 July 2015]

Wonderful movie, full of surprises and nice quirks. Witty, charming, classy and humorous. There is so much to enjoy in this movie, including a very talented cast. The nod to the James Bond franchise is unmistakable and elevates the homage genre in the finest way. I feel like I am gushing in this review, but this really is a must-see movie for anyone that enjoys action packed thrillers with just the right touch of humor.

There is violence to be sure, but it is done in such a way, that is entirely unobjectionable and even farcical - but in the most enjoyable manner. Colin Firth is the perfect choice for Galahad and Samuel L. Jackson makes for the perfect "Bond" type villain, not to mention the metamorphosis of Taron Egerton into the perfect gentlemanly Kingsman.

I was fortunate enough to see this on the 4th of July, so the fireworks scene made me laugh in delight and cheer.

Gravity (2013)

Just Starting to Relax

[10/10 · 4 October 2013]

Space nut here. (If I wasn't such a coward, I would have signed up to go to Mars.) So, I was tense throughout the movie since I read a lot and watch a lot about space ("the final frontier")- non-fiction - and know some of the dangers.

In addition, the way the film is written and directed, I felt I knew the characters right from the start, so I felt for their plight. Slightly teary was I.

So, although physically tensed in my seat, and teary-eyed, I found this a thoroughly enjoyable film. And even though I am somewhat well informed, I am not informed enough to be distracted by anything that didn't ring true. An excellent film with beautiful visuals.

Cargo (2009)

Visually Stunning

[6/10 · 22 July 2013]

Lucky you if you have a large HD viewing medium. The opening scenes of this film are awesome. As a matter of fact, any of the scenes outside of the Kassandra are equally candy for the eyes.

But, a movie isn't built on visuals alone. While the plot outline is good, what I will refer to as the 'meat' of the story leaves much to be desired. For instance, the romance between Portmann and Decker seems to come out of nowhere. There is no lead up of any kind, Decker just kisses her out of the blue. As far as I can tell, there was very little interaction between them until that moment. Then they have sex. At first, I thought it was a casual hook-up, and that I could understand - cabin fever induced horniness. Then I thought, "They are going to "do it" in the passage way? That is like doing it in a cruise ship hallway, but, 'oh well'" Then they are in love. It is like the writer(s) was told that a romantic angle was needed and under duress just slapped something together.

Then there is the brief amount of time they have to get their tasks completed while Laura is in the simulation. There are less than 7 minutes left, yet she pauses to look around and admire the view. Then stops and kneels down to spend some time feeling the ground and the leaves. Finally she strolls up to her sister's house and then spends precious minutes having a loving family reunion. Come on! Peoples' lives are depending on her.

I really wanted to be able to give this a higher rating because it really is beautifully shot, but the storyline, outside of the main one (evil corporation/government cover up) is just too lame.

3 Geezers! (2013)

Why the hate?

[8/10 · 21 June 2013]

Not sure why the low scores because this is a delightful and funny movie. Maybe it is because it is a cast mostly of middle-aged and elderly. Or maybe it is because western social attitudes about older people not being as interesting as those under 30. Or people are made uncomfortable by the thought of old people "doing it". "Old" people aren't supposed to be silly, irreverent, sex obsessed or pranksters? Well, from the elderly I know in real life, they definitely can be. It's really only illness and infirmity that puts a stop to it, if you were silly, irreverent, sex obsessed or a prankster when you were younger. Perhaps not even then. (I visit and occasionally have lunch out with a lady in her 70's who likes to scope out and then point out good looking young men to me. Not because she is trying to fix me up, but according to her, because she likes looking at good looking men!)

I don't think this would have been funny if this was about teenagers or twenty-somethings because it has been done to death. Using the older generation gives a tired old genre, a fresh new twist. It is filmed as if it were a documentary, and the unseen camera holder is mentioned a couple of times. But, unlike another review, I did not care for the beginning and almost stopped watching because of that Tyler Perry "filming a play for a movie" feel. Luckily, that changed after just a couple of minutes.

There are also some nice cameos, including a hilarious Christopher Walken impression by Kevin Pollak. While it isn't an Oscar contender, it is definitely an entertaining film worth the watch.

And I want that red "bikini".

Wish You Were Here (I) (2012)

Slow Paced But Worth Watching

[8/10 · 3 May 2013]

I'm not sure why the ratings on this one are so low, because this was actually a good movie. Although, because of the accents, it was a little difficult to understand at times, I got the gist of it. It's kind of slow paced and there really aren't any surprises, but it still captured my interest.

The one thing that might have put some people off is how naive the male lead was. So much is written in the news about visiting other countries and remembering that their laws, customs, attitudes and behaviors may not be (or most probably are not) in sync with what western tourists expect in their own countries, that it is a little hard to understand how this could have ended the way it did.

But then, drinking and drug use to extremes has probably never ended very well. Add to that mix a healthy dose of self-loathing and, as I did, sit back and watch the train wreck that is inevitable.

Will he be able to live with himself? Would I/you?

Amazon (1990)

An Oldie But a Goodie

[19 February 2013]

Having been released in 1990, some may find the subject matter dated. "Been there, seen that." In addition, this movie may not appeal to someone that does not want to be reminded of unpleasant facts. For instance, there is a line in the movie that goes something like, 'we took a bite from the apple and now won't be happy until we have destroyed every part of paradise.'

It seems at the start of this film, that it is going to be about an adventure in the jungle. An adventure like Indiana Jones or something like that. But the real adventure is in the transformation that takes place int the central character's life.

It is a slow-paced movie, but riveting. Slow-paced in a dreamlike way. Sort of like having a fever and being conscious of what's going on around you but it all seems like a dream. (The previous is a very inadequate description, but the best I can do with the words I have.)

But it wasn't all wonderful, and there may be things that will stand out so much, many won't be able to look past them to enjoy the film.

There are disjointed parts, unexplained occurrences, and some glaring inconsistencies. The one that bothered me most was hair. These people were out in the Amazon jungle, hundreds of miles from anything resembling a city, yet the main characters hair was always salon cut. One of the girls started out with short hair in Finland, and her hair length never changed, even when they were living in what was little more than a slave labor camp. It would have been different if their hair looked choppy or like bed-head, but wherever they were or no matter how much time passed, everyone's hair always looked freshly cut. For the detail inclined, this will be distracting.

Despite any negatives listed here, I truly enjoyed this film.