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Reviews
Monsternado (2023)
Just magic
So apparently, the Director and producer got together and decided that they would approach a hotel in the backside of nowhere in the middle of London.
As far as I can see everything was filmed inside the hotel except hilariously for two shots which were in the street outside. I'm not kidding. I checked it out on Google Maps and it's right outside the front door.
My theory is that they persuaded somebody in the hotel that this would be great PR and they all had an absolute blast running up and down and sticking badly rendered CGI in the background, in return for a few free nights accommodation, and no doubt some epic drinking sessions.
One of the highlights of the film was the flyover Dublin city. Particularly the Liffey. I think they reversed the shot in order to try and hide it but they just flipped it over. The Dublin Civic offices were on the wrong side of the river. A stock shot which they bought no doubt.
Finally, I couldn't help, but notice that several of the women look like men in drag. I have no problem with that, but you'd have to ask yourself the question why? I would say hangovers.
In conclusion, this is worth the five minutes I spent fast forwarding through it and laughing heartily throughout. Fair play guys. You did it and enjoyed it and some people watched it. Destined to be a cult classic. If you can get this thing made, you can do anything! It.
Talk to Me (2022)
Obnoxious
You can't creat a narrative around such depressing obnoxious and utterly pointless characters. The horror would have been great if I'd given a toss about a single one of them.
Let me get this straight.
You witness something marvellous and unique and your immediate reaction is to get hysterical with laughter.
I'm an enormous horror fan. But the writing is dreadful. The concept is great. But the execution is simply foul. There wasn't one character in it that I didn't want to get eaten alive by rodents. They were all awful.
Compare it to Babadook or It Follows and you're left cold.
Won't be watching this again. Ever.
The Last Airbender (2010)
Lazy lazy and utterly predictable
No story, no history, absolutely dreadful script and acting that is frankly despicable. You can't write. You can't make up a world arbitrarily with no fleshing or effort. The Happening and Lady in the Water were terrible. This is much worse.
Shame on you you lazy lazy man. The talent is there. Your ego is simply unable to get past it. Go away and let someone hungry and brave who doesn't live in a fantasy world in their own nether-regions produce something.
You owe me my ticket and the complete waste of one and a half hours of my life. Tosser