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faldeuxer
Reviews
Thelma & Louise (1991)
The best love story ever committed to film.
Love between friends, true friendship. A beautiful film, filled with the ugliness of men and the female retaliation. It should be required viewing.
Bring tissues.
Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)
Beautiful film, Can't say whats missing...
The sets, the acting, all, so good. The videoing, so good! The makeup, the costumes, SO GOOD! The story, not sure what to think. There are many loose ends of this intricate string that are not tied up. Who cares what I think, nobody, thats who. I don't know what could have made this film really fly. Drew Goddard had a vision and I'll be damned if I would ever say he wasn't seeing 20/20. For me, as the credits rolled I just felt that something was missed. Or, something was missing. That said, every frame of this film was beautiful to look at. It rolls like Agitha Christie and Quentin Tarantino hooked up at a frat party, but the next day they just couldn't be sure what happened and waited for the other to respond. Neither did, nobody spoke up. It's not bad, just not filling. When you finished "Pulp Fiction" you were smiling and a little curious, When you finished "Bad Times" you were frowning and desperately curious. 6-10 NOT BAD! Worth a viewing, tell me I'm wrong, you might be right.
Magic for Humans (2018)
Super Fun!
Who cares if the program is set up for success? It is a super fun show! You should watch it! There's a great trick in every episode! I don't dig on magic, but this show is very much something I dig. Have fun, laugh about it and remember what it was like to wonder! 9/10
Hardcore Henry (2015)
The best videogame nobody ever played!
Hardcore Henry is frenetic from its first frame until its last. It is compelling for the sake of it's cinematography and coreography as well as the impossibly seamless editing. Is it a great film as far as the AFA is concerned? Of course not. Is it a great film as far as "yerboi" is concerned? Sure! This film took a concept and executed it so well, I am beside myself. Also, I am a little sour that I arrived to the party so late, which seems to be the common nature of films like "Hardcore Henry" . Great effort, great execution, great ridicule, greatly underappreciated. I hope that in the coming years, or, coming months, weeks I dare, this film will be seen for the achievement it is. The best "Choose your own adventure" book or videogame that no one has ever read or seen. It's all thought out for you, and is a much better adventure that anyone of the harsher critics of this film would ever have chosen. What do I know? Watch it and decide for yourself!
Westworld: Vanishing Point (2018)
The best science fiction program ever aired on television.
The first two episodes of season two underwhelmed me. The next seven absolutely astonished me and gave real and palpable purpose to the first two episodes. This is not just great television, this is genre merging and unimpersonatable. At once this program is an engrossing mystery, multiple love stories, astoundingly violent, deeply emotional, primal and refined. Westworld almost defies any genre, it may well be it's own entirely. It reaches so far, it can almost touch any genre. There may never be a more brilliantly written, acted, photographed, and incredibly well executed piece of art to grace the digital airwaves. If you have not, watch it. If you have, watch it again. Pure brilliance, not to be missed.
Quarantine (2008)
Seen any crappy movies lately? No? If you want to, Quarantine is the movie for you!
Going into this film, i had very low expectations, and i'm surprised to say that i set my expectations much too high. Quarantine is not the worst film that I have seen. Nor the worst horror film that I have seen. But it is awfully close.
The film is shot entirely in first person form. Similar to the fantastic Blair Witch Project, and the less than average Cloverfield. But it is not done well, by the time the action begins, the film style is no longer believable or entertaining. It is nauseating. The reason that the Blair Witch Project's photography worked was, it felt like you could actually be watching something that really happened. In the case of Quarantine it just felt fake. Which also has to do with the laughably melodramatic acting and the lousy special effects. Not to mention the stereotypical incompetence of law enforcement characters, and your average horror movie arguments, ie. "...You Cant control me!" or "...Oh my god, we're all going to die!" and the one line heard in almost every zombie genre film "...she's been bitten, we have to kill her..."
The most disappointing part of the entire film was that I already saw the ending. Thats right! And if you have seen the trailer you have too! The very last shot of the film is also the very last shot of the trailer! Are you serious? Really?
But the awful acting aside and the crumby special effects as well, the film was a bad story, badly told. the film explains very little about why the events taking place are taking place and what caused them. I'll tell you what the zombies are affected with. You want to know? yeah? Rabies. No lie. F-wording, rabies. That is probably the most original thing about this movie. That the affected parties only needed to go to the vet for their semi-annual check up. Ugh. But No explanation why the rabies virus is the way it is.
There are genre films that have made use of the zombie viruses' anonymity, and it worked. It did not work for me. Nor the people I shared my film going experience with. When the credits rolled and the lights went up, a simultaneous groan could be heard from every row in the theater.
Another thing that bothered me about this film was the lack of gore and the over usage of little noises and quick camera pans that are used for shock value. None of which are shocking enough or will stand out as innovative, original or entertaining. A zombie film needs to have more blood and guts than crappy duologue. Although most of the time the two can go hand in hand. Although, there was 1 scene and 1 scene only that put some blood on the screen...when the character filming the whole thing kills a rabies affected zombie with the lens of his news camera. Thats right! A glass lens is now a more effective weapon than a machete! Do the filmmakers really expect anyone to buy that scene? Really? Doesn't the general public understand how hard you have to hit someone with your fist to crush their skull or even hemorrhage the brain? Harder than you could hit something with a camera lens without so much as a scratch. Which there were none. nor fractures cracks dings, nothing. i've scratched a lens with my fingernail before. this super lens broke teeth out of the zombies skull. Would the D.P. please e-mail me and tell me where I can Get one of these things?
If you want this film to do anything for you besides waste 90 or so minutes of your time, it wont. I absolutely discourage anyone who is of age to see this rotten example of cinema. And can only wonder, when will someone step up and make a good horror film again. This is not one by any stretch of the imagination, and I want my 90 or so minutes back. With interest.