vamp88 Reviews

Harpies (2007 TV Movie)

Save yourself from bad acting and the worst CGI possibly ever.

[2/10 · 29 June 2007]

I admit not seeing all of the movie. I came home from Live Free or Die Hard (which was awesome!) and watched the last half of this. It had me literally laughing out loud, too bad it isn't a comedy. The good was Kristin Richardson, she could act and was easy on the eyes. The OK, Scott Valentine. I give him the benefit of the doubt and believe he was just over the top and cheesy on purpose to fit the tone of the film. Stephen Baldwin let his acting chops drop to the level of the surrounding cast, which was just terrible. You rarely get the whole cast to sound as if they can't remember their lines and are just reading them off a cheat sheet just off camera. Horrendous. The CG. Holy crap. This got the most,and biggest laughs out of me. Original Sci-Fi channel pics are not know for great CGI. But this is a new low. WOW, truly needs to be seen it to believe it. Probably the worst CGI I have ever seen. Avoid this even if you liked other made for Sci-fi channel movies, or tune in if you can't believe its the worst acting and CG maybe ever. But please quickly turn it off and save the brain cell or 2 you will burn out trying to figure out how it was green lit to go out to the public.

Jim Gaffigan: Beyond the Pale (2006 TV Special)

finally

[9/10 · 4 October 2006]

I was just thinking recently how I haven't seen a great stand up special in a while. There have been some good ones, amusing, funny, but not great. It's been a while since I sat on my couch laughing for an hour getting light headed from lack of oxygen. Like many great comedians his delivery makes an amusing joke hysterical.

I saw about 10 minutes and quickly checked the schedule to see if it aired again soon, luckily it did and I used the DVR to capture it for me and my girlfriend to watch the next night. We both laughed for the full hour. I was starting to forget what it was like to see a great stand up special, glad to be reminded. Look for this one.

The Cave (2005)

good for what it is.

[7/10 · 1 May 2006]

OK the Cave...I'm not here to praise how great it was I didn't love it, but enjoyed it. Here's the problems with it. First it could've been made to feel much more claustrophobic, and could have used the darkness better. You're in a Cave, no light, total darkness. That could have been used better to add to the feeling of isolation, but everything was pretty well lit. The other problem was when the crew entered the Cave you probably already know who's going to make it out and who won't. There is a twist at the end, but you could guess it long before it came. Now the good points. Acting was good, effects were well done, story was exciting, and the movie didn't drag at all. It was a fun action/monster movie. If you're renting this movie isn't that what your looking for. There are better movies in this vein, but there for darn sure are a lot worse as well. It is what it is. Enjoy it. 7/10

The Cutting Edge: Going for the Gold (2006 Video)

Attn. this is a remake not a sequel.

[6/10 · 10 April 2006]

The original Cutting Edge got great word of mouth and I know both men and women that really enjoyed that movie. Fast forward to the remake, which this is. Simply a direct to video remake. Some minor changes: 1)the skaters are now coached by her parents (different actors) not the Russian trainer 2)he now has the girlfriend/fiancé instead of her 3)She is now recovering from an injury not him 4)he comes from extreme in-line skating now rather then hockey. Thats about the only differences. If you saw the original it plays out almost fight for fight, right down to the announcers of their Olympic performance commenting how they were technically perfect but skating without any passion, just like in the first. About a minute before that I jokingly made that same comment to my girlfriend not thinking that they would actually use it again in this version. The movie was entertaining, but I've never seen a "sequel" follow the original formula quite so closely. If you've seen the original pass on this, its OK, but you've seen it done better before.

Dollman vs. Demonic Toys (1993 Video)

full moon fun

[8/10 · 29 December 2005]

First off, I am a fan of the full moon films from the early and mid 90's. So it was cool to see a mix of their franchises on the screen. Like most Full Moon Fanatics, I can't really say why they appeal to me, the budgets aren't high, but the acting is usually above normal straight to video fare and they entertain, I guess that's the bottom line..they entertain.

Now for this movie in particular. The effects were fine (except for the large Baby oopsy),Tim Thomerson always delivers, and both female leads (Tracy Scroggins, and Mellisa Behr), are attractive and do a fine job. Baby Oopsie-Daisy is a riot. I have to admit I really enjoyed the movie, a great way to spend and hour, and that leads me to my only complaint. It was only 64 minutes long. Add in the opening and closing credits along with the flashback sequences to the other movies (Dollman, Demonic Toys, and Bad Channels) to introduce the main characters back stories and you were well under an hour. Now I prefer a shorter movie to a long one. If you can't tell your story in 2hours or so you just aren't trying (in most cases). But this was a little too short, no development. Why did the dwarf security guard join the demonic toys so quickly, who was that girl they sacrificed where did she come from? Show me something rather then explain it with one line of dialog. Anyway felt more like an hour long TV episode rather then a movie.

Final decision : I really enjoyed the time spent watching it. There were some good, and some below average effects. Slightly underdeveloped story and characters, but in the end it entertained. It was funny, had some decent action, and was just plain fun.

The Renegades (1983)

fun show

[9/10 · 13 November 2005]

I may be one of the few people who remembers this show. It aired on Friday nights, I believe on ABC. I don't remember it lasting very long and believe only a handful of episodes were every made. I loved it, and had an episode or 2recorded at one time that I watched repeatedly. It starred PatrickSwayze, and Tracy Scoggins (who I immediately started crushing on). It was about a street gang given a choice to do time or work undercover getting in where the cops couldn't. It kind of was a mix of "The Warriors" meets the "Mod Sqaud" meets "21 Jump St.". I thought it was a cool, fun show, but, I was young and wonder if it would hold up today being viewed as an adult. Wish I could find it on TV or DVD somewhere to find out.

Serenity (2005)

fit me with my new browncoat

[10/10 · 1 October 2005]

I was, lets say an honorary browncoat (browncoats are what fans of the TV show Firefly on which Serenity is based call themselves). I had seen a few episodes on the first (short) run and caught more on the Sci-fi channels recent re-airings, and liked every episode. Also a fan of Joss Whedon, especially Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I love his stories and dialog, the way the characters interact with each other in his stories are always great, and he loves to throw something unexpected at you, no one is ever safe in his scripts. That being said I was looking forward to Serenity. One word sums it up WOW. Definitely one of my favorite films this year. Funny, action packed, dramatic, scary, sad...if you want it in a movie it's here. The spirit of the film is fresh and fun, the dialog is witty and humorous. Just can't say enough about it. The theater I saw it in laughed out loud at every great one liners, gasped at the Reavers (cannabalistic space pirates) attacks, and applauded loudly at the finish of the film. I'm sure the Browncoats were in full force last night, but after seeing the movie new recruits will make it the hottest fashion of this fall season. Can't wait for the stories continuation.

Sin City (2005)

overriding violence

[5/10 · 4 April 2005]

I loved the noir style, and visually the film is fantastic, groundbreaking, original, brilliant. The cast was top notch. Tough guys with a purpose, beautiful woman, often as tough as the men, and all seemed to play the character beautifully. However I didn't leave the theater thinking about how gorgeous the film was, but rather how violent. I understand Frank Millers graphic novels are very violent, and admire Rodriguez for staying true to the source, and I also don't particularly mind violence in movies. However I think if it was tuned down just a little it would've enhanced the film, rather then detract from it. See it for the tough guys, beautiful broads, and stunning visuals, but be prepared for the violence you'll find in Sin City.

Alien Apocalypse (2005 TV Movie)

B for ...

[6/10 · 27 March 2005]

B movie... B is for - Bad supporting cast, Bad wigs, Big plot holes, but mostly for Bruce! This movie was an excuse to let Bruce Campbell be well, Bruce Campbell, and it's the only real reason to watch it. He's a much more versatile actor then most people know, because he's known mostly for roles and characters like this, and his fans love it. Any way the people making this know that they aren't making Citizen Kane, or even Independce day, and thats what makes it somewhat endearing. They have no delusions about the movie they are making and have some fun with it. I really wish the supporting cast (with a few exceptions) were better, and the fake beards and wigs were a distraction, but thanks to Bruce it was at least entertaining. It was also nice seeing him and Renee O'Connor on screen together again.

Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare (1987)

Oh my God

[3/10 · 4 March 2005]

All the comments here and from others are true: What can you expect : bad acting, rubber puppets, effects that consist of Halloween masks, Halloween rubber monster gloves, an OK soundtrack (most disagree but I didn't mind the cheesy rock),a horrible score, and for the big finale a paper-mache marionette and a independence day firework fountain. Oh and much more, rubber starfish thrown at our hero as Satans main weapon, (seriously it looks like something you and your friends would've done in the 5th grade with your dads camcorder). Its great. There is one blatant product placement and from the looks of it, the money they got from coke was the entire budget of the film. I didn't give it a high score because I don't know if I could ever sit through it again. But it is recommended big time to anyone who wants to watch a really. really poor movie. I wonder if Jon-Mikl Thor really thought this would be a great career move? My guess is if he did at the start he couldn't have when he saw the final product. I hear a sequel is in the works. Can't wait to see if it happens.

Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)

good but overrated

[7/10 · 17 June 2004]

First off I liked this movie. Visually intresting, good if unoriginal story, and fun. I rented it a couple days before Vol. 2 came out and I enjoyed it enough to see V2 on opening night. Here's my problem. If anyone but Quentin Tarantino made this film the critics would've killed it, but because it was done by him it was innovative, inspired, and original. The violence was cartoonish and fun which made the amount of fake blood spilled on screen easy to take. The story was a standard revenge flick filled with interesting over the top (Tarantino)scenes. I just find it funny that there seems to be a double standard for the critics, and Tarantino's treasure is another directors trash. Once again if you like revenge flicks styled after 70's kung fu and revenge movies you'll love it. I do recommend it.

Gigli (2003)

boring but not horrible

[5/10 · 16 April 2004]

I had do see how bad it was for myself. As I suspected critics and public unleashed venom unfairly onto this flick. It wasn't good, don't get me wrond, but I could name a hundred movies that would be a bigger waste of time. The acting was ok, but the problem was it was just boring. It didn't work as a crime drama, a romantic comedy, or anything else. But it was NOT one of the worse movies ever. I won't recommend it, and doubt I'll see it again. Just wanted to point out that I have seen worse (including some that critics seem to love).

Point Doom (2000)

so-so

[5/10 · 28 February 2004]

I'll make this short. Andrew "dice" Clay was fun to watch, and Angie Everhart is always a welcome addition. Also seeing Sebastian Bach was a cool surprise in a relatively small role. Some of the other actors did better then expected for a movie of this type as well. The movie as a whole however was not very good. A so-so script which may have been better if the budget and production value were much higher. I presume all the budget went to the actors as there were a number of known names and faces if no A-list stars. I could recommend renting this movie is if some of the actors are personal favorites. That's why I did, but if your looking for a good, fun, action movie there are many better to choose from.

I rate it 5 out of 10 based on the appeal of some of the actors. Otherwise I would've felt like I wasted my time.

Hard Knocks (1987)

My only clear memory is the laughter.

[25 January 2004]

Very funny comedy on Showtime. I wish it was on DVD. Don't remember a whole lot about it except for Bill Mahr and his partner/brother(?), and laughing my butt off. It was probably the first in a string of made for cable comedy's that I really liked. Some of the others being the Gary Shandling Show, First and Ten, and the best Dream On.

Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002)

More bang for your buck

[7/10 · 13 January 2004]

I was not impressed or disgusted enough to leave a comment on this film. So why am I typing now? I saw this was in the bottom 100 here on IMDB. It wasn't that bad. Actually I enjoyed it, but I was in the mood to not think and just watch stuff blow up (having a bad day). That's what I got. Lots and lots of explosions, and fun action, there were more explosions then dialouge. There is some plot here, but don't watch this for realism or story. It's a cartoon, a video game, just mindless action and entertainment, and thats why its worth seeing and doesn't belong on the bottom 100.

It doesn't come close to being a must see action flick (see the first 2 Lethal Weapons, Die Hard, Escape from New York or dozens of others), but it's not that bad.

Blow Dry (2001)

More drama then comedy

[7/10 · 10 September 2003]

If your expecting a laugh out loud comedy forget it, but if you want a good film with a great cast, you won't be disappointed. The acting and casting is wonderful, and the story is quirky, fun, and also sweet, sad, and serious. Focusing on love, forgiveness and family without ever getting too heavy handed. How could it when the setting is a competition between top hair stylists. I don't want to include spoilers as I probably enjoyed it more by getting something I didn't expect. It is quirky and has some laughs but the drama between the people is what this movie is really about.

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)

better then the first

[6/10 · 29 June 2003]

Full Throttle was better then the first. That's not really saying much. I went into this with low expectations and did enjoy it, but you have to realize that like many action flicks you have to suspend reality. With Full Throttle you have to totally toss it right out the window and just except that the action could've been ripped right out of cartoon. Even then the cartoons are much more believable. It was fun to watch "eye candy" if you will. So if you want a light hearted visually exciting movie without much of anything else enjoy and escape. If you want an exciting action flick realize the action is just too over the top to be at all believable or exciting just fun to watch. One more thing, Bernie Mac did a good job making you forget about Bill Murray (far and away the best part of the first movie), although you still wish he was there. And John Cleese was great. Bottom line: fun cartoon like movie which is visually exciting but not much more.

Finding Nemo (2003)

disappointing

[6/10 · 24 June 2003]

Don't get me wrong I enjoyed the movie. But I expected more. I would call it entertaining and worth a watch, but not up to the level of Monsters Inc. or Dreamworks Shrek. The graphics were awesome, but I left with a feeling that is could have been a better movie. I went with my friend and his 5 year old and there were some parts that were a bit scary for him (the 5 year old, not my friend). He still enjoyed the movie however. The story seems to resonate with the parents I talked to which may explain why it has such a high rating. I just expected a little more.

Hulk (2003)

not a total waste of time

[4/10 · 21 June 2003]

Looking for a great fun summer block buster? Keep looking. We all saw the previews with the sub-par CGI effects, and to be fair my friends and I agree the effects played better then expected. Eric Bana did a fine job as mild mannered Bruce Banner, and Jennifer Connelly was exceptional as the beauty Betty Ross. That was what was good about the movie. However much of the movie didn't work. At times the CGI effects still looked like a video game (once again I'll say they looked much better then on the trailer). The movie ran way too long. Especially for a movie that has a younger target audience. I enjoyed the story leading up to our first Hulk sighting, but it was too long and dark for younger audiences. Right off the bat during the opening credits there are certain images that could be disturbing for the youngest viewers. Now, even thought it is too long and too slow the worst part was the climactic battle between Bruce and David. I still couldn't follow exactly what happened or how? My friends and I started to try to figure it out and decided we didn't care enough to put the energy into trying. The explanation just didn't make enough sense to satisfy us. Being a comic fan from childhood and a casual fan today I have enjoyed seeing Marvel characters make it to the big screen, but they should make sure the movies being made are good (X-men, Spider man), not mediocre (Daredevil, Hulk), or they will soon see their audience and hype for these movies decline sharply. Bottom line, OK movie but lacking the fun a movie like this should contain.

Old School (2003)

Outstanding Comedy...Your my boy Blue!

[9/10 · 16 June 2003]

This is the funniest movie I saw in the theaters since There's Something About Mary. I loved it. First off Will Ferrell steals every scene he is in and pushed this movie from very good to great. The comedy ranges from outrageous to (rarely) subtle. The wedding singer is an example of the simple, subtle, but genius comedic moments. Why is it so funny and why hasn't somebody thought of it before? As for the big laughs there are too many to mention from the bosses daughter, to the streaking scene, the tranquilizer scene etc etc etc. The three main cast members (Vaughn, Ferrell, and L.Wilson) make a great team each bringing their own different comedic style to their respective roles. Lets be honest every 30 something male wishes he could live in this "fraternity" and relive wild days gone by if only for a brief time. If this movie doesn't make you laugh at least a few times you may be dead, and if you're not dead there's a good chance your cheeks could hurt from laughing and smiling for an hour and a half. My only complaint is that Jeremy Piven is a great comedic actor and misused as the dean who wants the frat shut down. He did a fine job, it's just that I know how funny the guy can be and he was just your standard villain you see in any campus comedy. In closing let me just say Long live the Godfather.

The Truth About Charlie (2002)

not Charade, but has it's own merits.

[7/10 · 14 June 2003]

If your expecting Charade just re-shot and re-cast you'll get the unexpected. I guess the producers new better. The original is a classic with an exceptional cast. So this movie must be judged on its own. Some scenes are very familiar, but many of my personal favorites are not anywhere to be found in this new version, and the although the 3 main parts are cast well (there not Hepburn, Grant and Matthau, but they do a serviceable job), but there really isn't a stand out supporting cast (like Coburn, and Kennedy). I'll admit some scenes, dialogue, and plot points are similar, but so much of it isn't that it stands on it's own as much as it relies on the original. The main thing this version lacked was the fun mild sort of comedy that the original possessed. It's too bad it has to be compared to the original but remakes always are. This movie was entertaining, had intrigue and was worth seeing on its own, I do recommend it. But when compared to the original you realize that they did it right the first time. Check it out but try to leave the comparisons behind or you could be disappointed.

The Tuxedo (2002)

fun

[8/10 · 22 April 2003]

Accept this movie for what it is. A fun, light-hearted action/comedy. If your expecting anything more you could be disappointed. If not you'll enjoy the ride. Some laughs, good action, and a quick pace make this an enjoyable diversion. Enjoy.

Black Scorpion (1995 TV Movie)

High camp good fun

[7/10 · 20 March 2003]

This movie will not be considered for an academy award, but if you enjoy a movie that doesn't take itself seriously and just wants the viewer to enjoy for ninety mins it is not a disappointment. You'll enjoy a send up of Darth Vader for the villain (the breather), a female Batman for the heroine (but much cuter with much less costume), and a running joke that involves cigarettes and the police captain that's very funny. Not by any means a great cinematic achievement. But if you enjoy campy fun it was worth a viewing. God help me, I liked it.

Jake Johannsen: This'll Take About an Hour (1992 TV Special)

funniest comedy special ever

[10/10 · 7 March 2003]

I first saw Jake on a young comedians special. Then came this. The funniest comedy special ever. Rank it up there (just above) Robin Williams at the Met, Eddie Murphy Delirious, Richard Jeni -Platypus Man, and Bill Cosby-Himself. (Also Andrew "Dice" Clay's first special,and the late Sam Kinisons HBO specials, but I understand that they are not for everyone). "This will take about an hour" starts out funny and soon becomes side splitting. Your drawn into Jake's story telling, and odd delivery as he weaves a web that traps you in hysterics. My friends and I have watched this so many times our copies are quickly wearing out. I talked to Jake at a couple of his shows and asked if there were any plans to release it on video/DVD. Nothing for sure yet. I was surprised to see this special make TV guides 100 funniest moments on TV, but definitely agreed it deserved to be there. Check Jake out live if you get the chance.

Clerks (2000–2001)

"well played, clerks"

[8 February 2003]

If you're a fan of great comedy laced with pop culture references then Clerks is right up your alley. It is slightly risque for a cartoon, but look who the target audience was. The movie "clerks" was not a family film by anyone's definition. If you are a Kevin Smith fan check these DVD's out his irreverent style shows throughout. If you're not a Kevin Smith fan, still check it out, being on network TV it is much tamer then his movies, but just as funny. Sit back and watch dozens of celebrities, movies and television shows being lampooned on this series in every episode. There were only 6 awesome episodes so you can watch them all in about the same time it would take to watch a movie, and I can't think of more then a couple movies that could pack half as many laughs in just 2 hours.