scorpion-52 Reviews

Mountain Fury (1991)

The only "fury" here is the time wasted watching this garbage.

[2/10 · 31 March 2017]

So this is one of those ultra-rare films released on Raedon video, I read a review for another film on Raedon called "The Worst of Enemies" where the reviewer warned people not to be fooled by the cover and title-the film was actually a very boring relationship drama, and now i'm here to give a similar warning about this film. This not really a action film or a thriller despite having a few kills in it(one of them near the beginning is killed by a sword, the guy being killed does such a hilariously bad reaction that I gave the film a 2 out of pity), do not be fooled by the box art or title. The film is more or less an environmental drama about a group of eco-freaks killing workers who are planning on building property on nature in order to get attention to their protest(wouldn't a non- violent protest work better?). It's far less interesting then it sounds(as evidenced by how bored the actors come across, not that I blame them) whereas many Raedon films are either so-bad-its-good(Alien Private Eye, Punk Vacation, Ain't No Way Back. Hell Spa, Highway to Hell, Black Crystal, Feelin Screwy, Chillers, Curse of the Queerwolf) and some are legitimately good(Cole Justice, Provoked, Angels of the City, The Weird, Roller Blade Warriors: Taken By Force, Death Collector, Desert Snow, Vampyre, Dead Girls, The Evil Below, Games of Survival, Return of the Family Man, Hellbent, Hollywood's New Blood, The Brainsucker) this falls into the dreaded so-boring-its-excruciating category, which is the worst kind of bad. It's the kind of bad you can't even make fun of and which provokes no reaction whatsoever, it's not as terrible as Dark Heaven(which is the all-time worst film i've ever seen) but that ain't saying much.

Bottom line avoid this film at all costs unless you desperately need a cure for insomnia.

The Dinosaur Experiment (2013)

a lot better then people say

[7/10 · 9 May 2014]

Personally I don't get all the hate for this film, I thought it was entertaining and diverting enough to kill 90 minutes. Has some cool death scenes and fun acting by Lamas(reprising his role from Raptor Island and Raptor Planet), the CGI isn't horrible, i've seen way worse. The Story is nothing special, but then again with Sci-Fi Channel films you know not to expect Oscar-caliber writing. Is it a smart film, hell no, but it's infinitely more watchable then say those godawful Paranormal Activity films, the Twilight movies, those horrible remakes of foreign horror films(I.E. The Eye, Shutter, Pulse, One Missed Call, The Grudge, etc)

Without Men (2011)

Without Men(from a man's perspective)

[8/10 · 22 December 2011]

I truly do not understand the negativity towards this film at all, it dosen't deserve such a low rating. The premise of an entire town of women is carried out pretty well, I can see how some might be offended by the female characters not being able to read or wanting to do work, but if you can look past that, you'll see a charming, witty(funniest part for me was the women learning the joys of masturbation), lighthearted film with warm and likable characters, the relationship between Eva and Castillo is truly beautiful and heartwarming. There's also some interesting social commentary and female customs, for example, the women decide to make up their own time of 28 suns instead of 30 days(to go along with a women's cycle), the male performers do an adequate job, though their shortsided(understandable given the premise)Oscar Nunez is a hoot as the impotent priest and Slater does well enough as the straight man, all in all this film was a very pleasant surprise and I would highly recommend it.

Shattered Lies (2002)

Pretty fun film with a great cast

[8/10 · 13 March 2011]

I wasn't sure what to expect form this film, given that I couldn't find one single review for it, but it turned out to be a pleasant surprise. The plot is nothing special, something about searching for 3 million dollars that's real but dosen't legally exist(don't ask) It's the cast that really makes this film, you've got Martin Kove, Jack Scalia, James Russo and Frank Zagarino(who plays the hero this time instead of playing a bad guy like he usually does) they all do commendable jobs, but the female villain with lesbian tendencies was my favorite(she makes a crack about the hero's love interest having "sweet-smelling panties! LOL) There's the running gag about the protagonist keeps on changing his story and name(hence the title "Shattered Lies") Gerry Lively does a great job on the action scenes, so all in all this was a fun ride, so check this one out if you can.

Body Armour (2007)

Clichéd, predictable, but still pretty fun.

[10/10 · 5 November 2010]

I have yet to read a single positive review for this film anywhere, most people say it's clichéd, predictable, and stupid with a done-to-death plot, and it kinda is, but that dosen't mean it's not a hell of a lot of fun. Palinteri does a pretty good job, though he's played this type of role so many times he could do it in his sleep, and Schweiger's not much of an actor, so it's fortunate that he dosen't try and stretch himself too much here, the rest of the cast is pretty average. When it comes to action however, this film really delivers, Gerry Lively certainly lives it up to his last name, as the actions scenes are indeed lively and entertaining and they easily make up for the weak story and mostly average performances, all in all i'd say it's a 6 out of 10.

Behind Enemy Lines: Colombia (2009 Video)

Pretty impressive for a DTV film

[7/10 · 10 January 2009]

Wow i'm surprised no one's commented on this film yet, as it stands this is a highly compelling action film that manages to make the action scenes exciting without resorting to lots of shaky cam editing. Plus the cast gives it they're all and impress, especially Keith David. The plot twist is a little predictable side though and the film does depend on contrivance to drive the plot more then once, but undemanding viewers such as myself either won't notice or care about that too much. The film also seems a little disjointed at times as the opening has all the main characters introduced with hilarious text like in Feast, but then in the next scene in Colombia, a guy loses both his wife and child in a bombing, so the effect is pretty jarring to say the least though very effective admittedly.

Coldfire (1990)

Far more boring then you would expect a PM film to be

[4/10 · 9 January 2009]

Well I can't say I wasn't warned about this film, I read David's review and ignored it cause i've heard lots of action-packed films called boring so that didn't stop me from buying this film for 2.99 off Ebay, though now I can see that David was mostly correct in his review and Easton and Reyes(who both were shot to super-stardom in One Life To Live later on) are both pretty good,though it's kinda hard to root for his character. Though i'm not bothered by the film's low budget look, I knew it was gonna be low-budget as i've heard that most early PM films are like that. What I didn't expect was for the film to be so goddamn BORING, I swear this felt more like a drama then an action film, especially with the heavy focus on the love/hate relationship with Jake and Nick and they're relationship with Dix, it felt too drawn out and took too much focus away from the main plot. Though the film isn't a total waste, it has it's funny moments, like when Jake randomly yells Attica! near a jail cell for no reason, there's some nice nudity, Easton and Reyes are both pretty good, and the climax is pretty nicely done actually and manages to generate some actual tension and the main villain manages to become intimidating despite his annoying voice, but despite those good things, I can only recommend this film to PM completists who feel the need to see every film they've produced, or for those who will see anything with Wing Hauser's name on it.

Steele Justice (1987)

Decent vigilante film, nothing more nothing less

[6/10 · 31 December 2008]

Well i'm surprised there aren't more comments for this film, seems that most people on here are bothered by the fact that's not particularly original, so what? Being unoriginal does not automatically make a film bad, and for the person who was bothered by the racist undertones, no offense pal but you're taking the film WAAAYYYY too seriously, this is the type of film were you don't think about logic and you just lay back and enjoy the mindless action. Kove is pretty bad ass in his role and i'm disappointed he didn't get the chance to star in more of these types of films then he did, though he did eventually end up in one of the Project:Shadowchaser films which i'll try and check out in the future, as it stands this film is pretty mindless and forgettable, but for people like me who couldn't care less about intelligence in films, that's hardly a bad thing.

Hard Luck (2006 Video)

Snipes worst film period

[3/10 · 26 December 2008]

How come people give this lousy film so many good reviews but superior Snipes films like Art Of War II and The Marksman get so many negative reviews? This has got to be one of the most boring thrillers i've ever had the displeasure of sitting through, there's long stretches of boredom without anything interesting happening. Plus to make things worse the terrible serial killer subplot is shoehorned in and takes away the focus from the main story with Snipes character. These have to be the most pathetic and least intimidating serial killers ever, they just look so ordinary, but maybe that was the point? Well I like serial killers to be threatening and they failed miserably at that here, and they're torture methods aren't so much disturbing as confusing, exactly what the hell did those helmet things do to people? Didn't look so bad to me. Snipes along with his female companion at least look they're trying to make the best out of lousy film but the awful performances from everyone else make it a lost cause, even the half-way decent finale dosen't make the film worth watching. It's surprising how bad this film is, considering it was directed by Mario Van Peebles, who's proved to be a talented director, I certainly hope his next film has more thought and effort put into it then this crap fest.

Skyscraper (1996 Video)

What was everyone expecting from this exactly?

[6/10 · 26 December 2008]

What the hell was everyone expecting form this film? You weren't really expecting Anna Nicole Smith to be capable of anything even close to "real" acting were you? If you were then you need to have your head examined. She was obviously chosen for her looks and nothing else, and she certainly dosen't disappoint in that department as she gets 2 very nice sex scenes(one of which is in a flashback that's hilariously out of place) her acting is about as wooden as you can get with quite possibly the most atrocious Texan accent i've ever heard, but it's still hilarious to watch Smith read her lines off a cue card monotonously. The rest of the actors are pretty mediocre and forgettable, aside from Charles Huber who is pretty entertaining as Fairfax, who loves quoting Shakespeare all the time. This film does decent enough in the action department as the opening shootout is pretty well done, and plenty of people get shot once the film shifts into Die Hard mode though the final confrontation is very disappointing and anti-climatic.

Other annoyances are the fact that we never learn what the briefcase does and the obligatory "kid in peril" scenario. Your enjoyment of the film depends on how you look at it, as a Die Hard rip-off it's pretty average as it dosen't do anything to interesting with the scenario apart from the advanced building technology which isn't used much. As a PM entertainment film it ranks near the bottom of as it's a far cry from such immensely entertaining films like Last Man Standing, Rage, Executive Target and several other PM films. But overall it's a decent timewaster if you can get it ultra cheap like I did, it was only $2.00 on Borders Marketplace and I bought it along with 31 other action films which were all about the same price so it was a pretty good deal, all in all i'd say a 6 out of 10 is a pretty good rating for this film.

Underclassman (2005)

Why all the hate?

[10/10 · 26 December 2008]

Sheesh! Why does everyone hate this film so much? It seems to be mostly because of Nick Cannon, granted I can sorta see how he'd grate on the nerves, but I found him to be an absolute riot with lines like "back in my old neighborhood, getting crabs was something totally different, and "I think I swallowed Nemo! Cannon looks like he's really enjoying himself here and comes across as really likable, the rest of the actors are decent enough, there's no real "bad" acting here. The plot, while pretty thin, is well done enough that it dosen't matter much, and yeah I did notice the Point Break similarities but I don't consider it a bad thing when a film has very similar scenes to another film. Speaking of which, the climatic fight in this film is virtually identical to the one at the end of Patriot Games but that didn't bother me too much. This is a highly underrated, lighthearted and hilarious action-comedy that's nowhere near as bad as everyone else has led you to believe.