Rob_Taylor Reviews

Dune: Part Two (2024)

And the most disappointing sequel of the year goes to...

[5/10 · 6 April 2024]

Dune Part 2! Here to accept the award is director Denis Villeneuve!

Denis, tell us, what was your goal for this movie?

Well, I wanted to make another movie with lots of sand in it. Many sands! Much cinematography!

And how did you see the story progressing from the first movie?

Well, there needed to be more sand! Sand, and giant worms, of course!

What do you say to those who criticize the use of spice as a stand-in for today's drug problems?

Well, I wanted, as well as the sand, for there to be chemistry in the film - spice chemistry! So, of course, I had to make sure there was no chemistry between the two main actors that might have overshadowed that.

Some have said that the film is overly long and badly paced. Can you comment?

Well, sand can't be rushed! As for pacing, well I certainly did a lot of that in the editing room!

And what of Hans Zimmer's "interesting" score?

Well, it was magnificent! Who doesn't like an obvious tribal theme with lots of wailing voices that make no sense?

Some complain it is boring. Thoughts?

Well, the worms certainly bore through the sand! Did you see that? Many worms, much sand!

There are those that say you cherry-picked things from the book and didn't follow the original story accurately?

Well... There was a book?

Okay, well, thank you for your time Mr Villeneuve. Enjoy your win!

Well, I think I shall!

SUMMARY: Sand. Spice. No chemistry. Some action. 40 minutes of unecessary footage that could have been cut. By the time Part 3 comes out you will have forgotten this - don't be tempted to re-watch it.

Road House (2024)

A reasonable movie... but for one thing (well...two, actually)

[5/10 · 21 March 2024]

Conor McGregor.

I don't know if it was his choice, the writer's or the director's, but whoever directed him to play his character as a frothing lunatic clearly overestimated Conor's acting prowess.

I'm not saying he's a bad actor, but if he doesn't win best Razzie for worst supporting actor next year, then the Razzies aren't doing their job right.

Instead of frothing lunatic, we get buffonish clown and he kind of ruins every scene he's in. Up until he appears, the movie moves along decently. After his appearance, everything takes a one-way trip to clown town. Even the other "henchmen" seem to get infected with this cartoonishness and you just can't take the movie seriously any more.

It's a shame, because there are some well done scenes of fight choreography and, as I said, up until McGregor's entrance it seems to build nicely. A bit of a wasted opportunity, I think.

But I mentioned in the tag-line that there were two things that spoiled the movie. The other is the post-credits scene. See, after killing McGregor at the end of the movie (he was stabbed at least six times) someone thought a scene of McGregor stomping out of a hospital apparently unharmed would be a good call. It isn't, because his character is obnoxious and painful to watch and his death at the end came as a blessed relief. I guess there was a contractual obligation NOT to kill McGregor's character, or some such nonsense.

This final scene is made worse, because the dodgy police chief who takes over the crime scene at the end of the movie has a vested interest in McGregor's character not surviving. It would be the only way to control the narrative from his perspective and shape things in such a way that he escapes the consequences of all that happened.

But no... vanity appeasement end-credit scene that does nothing except leave a sour taste in your mouth.

SUMMARY: Decent movie ruined by Conor McGregor. Too clownish, too cartoonish and too much McGregor. Bad end credit scene. Let's just hope there isn't a sequel and if there is, it doesn't have him in it.

Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)

Look Ma! They remade Battle Beyond the Stars... poorly!

[5/10 · 24 December 2023]

Well, what can I say. Remaking a re-imagining of The Seven Samurai is not a phrase that inspires confidence, but that is what has happened here. Needless to say, such a task would be monumental to pull off for even a competent story-teller. Unfortunately, Zack Snyder is just not that good at writing. Directing, sure. Visuals...good. But writing...not so much.

See, The Seven Samurai is rightly hailed as a classic and those re-imaginings that followed - The Magnificent Seven and Battle Beyond the Stars, didn't try to replicate the original. They picked a different genre and ran with it. Mostly to good effect (though I won't pretend BBtS was a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination) but it was at least fun.

Rebel Moon is not fun. It is the antithesis of fun. Unlike the earlier clones of TSS, it takes itself far, far too seriously. Add in an at times dreadfully bombastic film score and it becomes in parts an exercise in endurance rather than entertainment.

Then, of course, you have the Snyder trademark visuals, including overly liberal use of slow-motion, a half-hearted attempt at world-building and of course, the aforementioned poor story.

I mean, it looks decent. Everyone acts decently and it should be good. But it isn't. It's not awful by any means, but it is just a bit "Meh!"

I don't know what else I can say about this movie. If you gave me the task of ranking all the Seven Samurai clones in order, I'd probably put it below all of them. I mean, it's better than something like The Witcher Blood Sausage, but that isn't exactly a high bar to exceed.

All in all, this is one of those movies that you won't watch again unless you are paid to.

SUMMARY: Poor Battle Beyond the Stars rehash. Looks decent and is acted okay, but it just feels weightless and empty. You'll have that feeling that you've seen it all before, but better, and you'd be right. Not really worth your time.

Expend4bles (2023)

It's bad...it's really bad! I mean train-wreck bad!

[5/10 · 19 October 2023]

And...just like a train-wreck, you can't tear your gaze away from it.

Wether it's the awful CGI, the wooden acting, the badly comped-in scenes and obvious green-screen work, the hilariously gigantic sets, the sheer number of bad guys that can fit on one ship, or any of the myriad of other little hilarities, you just. Can't. Not. Watch. It.

The CGI is like something you might expect in a fanpro production, not something that supposedly cost $100 million. I've seen more convincing and realistic scenes in video games - and not particularly recent ones, either.

The acting varies. Statham is still watchable and trying his best, even when he's in a scene with someone who was added in later (Stallone). Honestly, whomever thought that comping work was a good job needs a new career.

Then there's Megan Fox. If ever there was an award for "Most miscast 'actor' " it's her. She manages to act reasonably, but is about as believable in her role as your average five-year old in the school play.

Back to effects... green-screen work. It's really obvious here and it seems nobody told the people doing it that, you know... lighting matters. To be fair though, I'm not sure it was all green-screen. Some of it looked like back-projection work, but not from something like The Volume, but a much poorer, knock-off version. Either way, it's jarringly obvious. In some instances about the same level of realism as when Mark Hamill stood in front of the Wing Commander game graphics during the cut-scenes for that game. It's bad!

Then we have the monster cargo vessel, or as it actually is here...overly large sets. I'll be honest, I don't know a lot about the life of merchant sailors, but I doubt their ships have passageways wide enough to comfortably ride motorcycles through. In one scene, you even get a nice shot of the inside of a obvious warehouse complete with roof joists etc.

But the size of the sets is necessary, as the "ship" is stocked with hundreds of disposable extras. I'm not kidding. Someone needs to do a kill count here as there was never any shortage of them.

If the film had been competently made, with decent FX and minus a few of the actors whom (let's be polite about it) were included to make the movie marketable in China, then it might have been less of an assault on the senses. As it is, however, it is just a candidate for worst movie of the year as far as I'm concerned.

SUMMARY: Bad movie, bad franchise entry, bad actors, BAD casting, BAD CGI, BAD sets, BAD! By far the worst of the bunch so far. Text-book example of how NOT to make an action movie.

The Witcher (2019– )

Went from being The Witcher, to The Witches, in the blink of an eye!

[6/10 · 7 August 2023]

Bait and switch. A term most will be familiar with. I can't help but think this is what has happened here.

We, the poor viewers, were baited in with a major star, the promise of action, adventure and monster hunting and then, after throwing some token bones to us, the switch happened!

Out went action, adventure and monsters, and in came politics, talking and dullness. Out went the major star, and in came the focus on other characters who are not the Witcher.

Given what I've read of the comments by the production team, I'm pretty certain this was planned out right from the start. It's almost like they thought we wouldn't notice the drop in quality, or the focus on unimportant side characters to the detriment of the main character.

It never ceases to amaze me, in this "new age" of movie and TV production, just how wrong these people get it. The worst part of it all is that they absolutely never learn anything from their failings. It's always the viewers fault, not theirs. Or in this case, a "difficult" star. They keep doing the same things over and over expecting that, next time, things will be different. But it never is. It never is.

So, The Witcher became The Witches. A plot focused on a side story to The Witcher tale that no one asked for, or wanted. So is it any good?

Well, no. I suspect the showrunners were hoping to make the next Game of Thrones with their faction strife and politics, but they didn't manage that. Game of Groans, more like. Increasingly dull machinations between the sorcerors and mages, whilst the looming, and more interesting, threat of Nilfgaard is mostly sidelined.

Speaking of sidelined... Poor old Henry Cavill. Season 3 has him mostly do absolutely nothing. It has him beaten in a fight by a mage with a stick. Beaten so badly in fact that he spends the last two episodes lying around moping in a bed. It has him cry at one point and erm... yeah. Like I said, not a lot else.

You know, after watching The Witcher: Blood Sausage, I consoled myself that at least The Witcher couldn't ever get that bad. Now, I'm beginning to think that I was wrong.

Along with the bad story choices (a whole episode is devoted to Ciri wandering around in a desert) the editing is pretty janky. Either that, or I micro-napped through a scene transition and missed something, but characters seem to be all over the place. It makes little sense.

I also really don't know why they bothered to hire Liam Hemsworth to replace Geralt because I doubt he'll have much to do if the current production staff have anything to say about it.

So now the wait for season 4...in 2025! Is anyone still going to care about this show that far out? Will anyone have even a faint chance of remembering what was going on? Does it matter? Not really, because I suspect it won't get to season 4.

Netflix will can it and everyone will wring their hands, blame the writer's strike, and the fans, and whatever other form of copium they huff to get them through the day and no doubt all involved will get promotions and move on to mess up some other IP.

So long Witcher, we barely knew you.

SUMMARY: Went downhill faster and more clumsily than Eddie the Eagle. Not so much The Witcher as The Witches now. At least we'll always have the books and games. This effort, honestly, is best forgotten.

The Last of Us: Part II (2020 Video Game)

Good game, terrible story

[4/10 · 18 March 2023]

So, TLOU2 can be summed up in two words.

Subverting expectations.

Players went into TLOU2 expecting more of the same from the first game, but oh no! Druckmann had other ideas!

Expecting to play Joel? Screw that! We'll kill him off super early on! And we'll do it uber-gratuitously!

Okay, then we'll play as Ellie, right? Hah-ha! No! We'll make you play as Joel's murderer, and we'll get you to like her!

Wait, so if Joel is dead, I guess there is a revenge plot for Ellie, at least? Abolutely! But we'll twist it into making her a sick, murdering psycopath that is totally unlike our lovable Joel-murdering heroine! You'll hate her!

But we'll at least get to kill Joel's murderer by the end, yeah? Nope! Not gonna happen! We'll force you, the player, to let Abby go at the last moment! No player agency and no satisfaction for you, now-evil Ellie!

Okay, so I'm being flippant. But all of the above is true. Every expectation you might have going into this game, and going through it, is turned on its head. No doubt Druckmann thinks himself very clever for all this, when in fact, all he has done is kill his own franchise.

Kill off the male main hero... check!

Ruin the character of female main hero...check!

Force player to play as steroid-abusing female murderer...check!

Deny hoped-for vengeance resolution...check!

I doubt we'll get a TLOU3. It's difficult to see where they could go with it. Certainly, any attempt to shoehorn Abby into it will be a non-starter and Ellie is just broken. Given Druckmann's awful writing I wouldn't be surprised if he would force Ellie and Abby into being BFF's or some similarly risible nonsense.

Anyway, story aside, the gameplay is decent, though not that much of an evolution over the first game. The problem is, as I ranted above, is that for half of the game you are playing as a character you don't want to play. This makes the gameplay feel hollow and pointless. Throughout my time playing it, I was wondering why it was being forced on me. Why was the game trying to make me like a character I was expecting to kill by the end of it? Of course, the joke was on me.. because ultimately, the character survives.

What a waste of a game and a franchise in order to stroke Druckmann's writing ego. Newsflash Neill! You ain't that good! Uncharted 4 felt overlong and hollow too. Should never have got rid of Amy Henning.

SUMMARY: Pretentious nonsense. Druckmann channeling M Night Shyamalan with his "What a twist!" storytelling. Ruins characters you love, forces you to play characters you hate. Deeply unsatisfying, manipulating nonsense. Not recommended if you loved the first game.

Cocaine Bear (2023)

Cocaine Bore

[4/10 · 14 March 2023]

So first off, if you've seen the trailer for this movie (the one with the ambulance scene) you might be forgiven for thinking this is going to be a hilarious riot of a movie. You might remember other scenes from comedy movies with bears such as The Great Outdoors and think this will be something in a similar vein.

It's not. Not even close.

If you watched the trailer, that is 100% the most fun this movie will ever be. Top marks to whomever put that trailer together, because you managed to do what director Elizabeth Banks couldn't do... make this movie funny.

As for the rest of it... dull characters with no personality but somehow dialled up to eleven on the overacting meter. No great sense of anything like pacing. Questionable editing. No real laughs. Some gore. Somewhat over the top CGI bear.

It tries to be an 80's movie and to some extent it succeeds... but only in being one of those awful straight-to-video movies that you some times came across in video stores back then. You know the sort. The kind that the previous viewer hadn't bothered to rewind because they got thirty minutes in and someone said "This is crap! What else did we get from the video shop?" and it was summarily ejected in favour of something...anything...else.

If you are looking for a fun evening's entertainment, look elsewhere.

SUMMARY: Boring, cringe-inducing, unfunny mess. So bad it's just...well...bad. Not worth your time.

Knock at the Cabin (2023)

Mock at the Cabin...

[5/10 · 23 February 2023]

Because it is fairly mockable.

It's another M Night "look at me, I'm clever!" piece that, in watching, will reveal to you the viewer that, in fact, he is not clever. Competent director... sure. Writer... not so much.

Now, I had some hopes since this was based on someone else's work, but when I saw Shyamalan's name prominently displayed as a writing credit at the start, I knew it was doomed. And of course, somewhere in the interminable runtime of this effort, he even makes an on-screen cameo, because that won't ruin any credibility the film had, now would it?

Not that it is credible. The premise is nonsensical pseudo-religious clap-trap that poses a moral dilemma that M Night is incapable of not butchering. The ending is likewise a foregone conclusion right from the start and though there are valiant attempts to try to muddy the waters, all they really do is make you shrug and say to yourself "I don't care!"

The book this is based on I see had an ambiguous ending, which would have been far preferable to the "It was all real!" nonsense that we get here. In fact, the ending had a perfect moment where doubt could have been thrown on whether the survivors did the right thing or not, when the survivors come across the vehicle that the "horsemen" arrived in. There could have been subtle, or not, clues that the horsemen were just, say, escaped lunatics. It could have led to a somewhat similar to the ending of the film version of Stephen King's The Mist. But this option was not taken, because Shyamalan is not that good.

So instead the ending is imagined as the most boring one you could possibly get. So go figure.

Also amusing is the notion that the couple and their child are super virtuous and had been chosen for that reason. Apparently, when writing that particular part, they forgot the flashback sequence where the gay couple lie in order to adopt a child.

The best thing I can say about this movie is that everyone acts decently and it is well shot.

Actually, that's not entirely true. The best thing about this movie is that, having watched it once, you will never have the desire to revisit it.

M Night should stick to making films and not writing them.

SUMMARY: Dull, pseudo-religious nonsense. Poor ending. Shyamalan is getting worse with each outing. Not recommended.

The Last of Us (2023– )

It hews closer to the game than any other adaption, but...

[6/10 · 11 February 2023]

But, Houston, there is a problem.

So, I've played TLOU game at least three times, so I'm more than familiar with the story. The show, as Newt from Aliens might say, mostly follows the story... mostly.

But therein lies an issue that is increasingly vexing me. It isn't the actors or the story that is at fault, it is the small changes. The Oh so many small, seemingly insignificant changes. They all add up over time and not in a good way.

Now, don't get me wrong, I really like this adaptation. It's probably the most faithful game-TV series adaptation that I've seen, and Mazin and whomever is helping write it seem to love the material. But, and this is a big BUT (and I cannot lie) they have gone down the route of "improving" a tale which did not need any improvement.

The changes, as I mentioned, are small, but they are everywhere. An episode devoted to Bill and Frank's relationship, for example, which, whilst sweet, did little for the story. Then there was today's Henry and Sam episode, which decided to change the climax of that story arc to make everything Ellie's fault. Then there is the nature of the infected - with changes designed to make them seemingly more aware and intelligent. I won't even dignify the almost World War Z like battle that took place with a comment, since it is far too over the top, let alone the almost comical notion that the infected can burrow beneath the earth like Fallout's mole rats.

In short, all these little character and story changes are kind of getting annoying, and they are everywhere. It's starting to feel like that time George Lucas murdered the Star Wars movies by adding in all those awful out of place effects. It starting to feel like someone said "We can make it better!"

It's still good, but it feels off, like a Chinese Whispers tale told too many times.

Then there are the odd out-of-character decisions. Joel, for example, stowing the rifle he took from a FEDRA agent because "There's not much ammunition for it out here". Did he forget he was just a few hours away from Bill's place? Bill, the survivalist prepper who probably had ammo for it. Bill, who, even if he had no ammo, would probably trade Joel some supplies for it?

If you haven't played the games, there's no doubt it is one of the best post-apocalytic shows out there. If you have, like me, then the countless little changes may start to grate on you after a while (episode five in my case). I suspect the reverse will be true if you go from the show to the game. It will be different enough that it may irritate you.

On the plus side, their willingness to change things gives me hope for season 2. If that is based on the TLOU2 then some significant story changes will be needed if they don't plan on losing their audience in the first couple of episodes. Time will tell, I guess, but the final episode of Season 1 should give us a big clue as to that, I guess.

I just hope they remember that this is supposed to be Joel and Ellie's story, not anyone else's.

EDIT AFTER SEASON FINALE: So, I've dropped it down another point. The "additions" aren't thought through, leading to plot holes. Example - Marlene , the smart woman in charge of the fireflies unable to join the dots and maybe, just maybe, suspect that Anna lied about when she was bitten after when she discovers Ellie is immune.

Then there is the "chemical messenger" that makes cordyceps think Ellie is one of them. So why are they still attacking her?

In addition to these things, there is the singular lack of infected. For a setting that stresses how dangerous they are and that people have to live in fortified enclaves to survive, there are ridiculously few in number. Too few for a show that suggests society collapsed because of them.

Mazin also needs to stop introducing characters, giving them backstories/flashbacks and then killing them off all in the same episode. If the character isn't important enough for more than one episode of screen time, then they aren't important enough for backstory.

Speaking of episodes. Nine episodes to tell a twenty plus hour story. Really? That will be why there are so few infected scenes, characters rushed to their deaths and a general lack of urgency to events.

SUMMARY: Reasonably faithful story adaptation marred by far too many "embellishments". Some plot holes, too few infected and a couple of pointless one episode characters. Not deal-breaking, but just irksome and unecessary.

The Witcher: Blood Origin (2022)

A show with a notable number of firsts for me...

[4/10 · 30 January 2023]

Many firsts, folks... here we go...

This is the first TV show I've ever watched where it occurred to me that Lenny Henry was the best actor in it. Don't get me wrong, I like Lenny and he's trying his hand at acting rather than comedy, which I think is commendable. But I doubt even he would think he is an accomplished actor. Yet here, in comparison to most of the rest, it seems like he's stepped straight out the Royal Shakespeare Company!

This is also the first TV show where I noticed an extra (without any dialogue) simply badly acting in the challenging role of "Woman standing next to wizard". She has no lines, no real movement, yet somehow she stands out as being unable to fulfill this pivotal part!

Then there is the first time I've ever felt sorry that Michelle Yeoh was in a show. I mean, I've watched Star Trek Discovery, for goodness' sake! I didn't feel sorry for her there, since she was allowed to overact fantastically. But here, I just wanted to give her a big hug and tell her she'd soon forget all about this show.

What can I say folks. Witcher Blood Sausage is a really bad effort. The acting ranges from Pine to chipboard and every variation of timber between.

Production values across the board are way below what you might expect. At times the sets and costumes give you an uneasy "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys" vibe and the less said about the CGI effects, the better.

Then there is the opening narration. Minnie Driver (did she have parking tickets to pay or something?) giving a tedious summary of all to come to Jaskier from the Witcher and convincing him that the story she was about to tell him was fresh and new and never heard before.

Then she explains about the seven warriors who embark on a quest to save the kingdom and... hang on a minute! This sounds familiar... where have I heard a tale about seven warriors saving people before... hmmm...

I don't know if that was a genuine attempt at humour by the writers, or if they literally have never heard of The Seven Samurai before, or the Magnificent Seven, or if one of them just decided to copy the basic idea because reasons. I mean, they could have gone with six warriors...or eight. But no...it's seven.

As you can imagine, originality is not high on the agenda here. We get treated to two sworn enemies who put aside their differences and decide to join forces... never heard that before, either. It's. Just. So. Lame.

I'm beginning to think Cavill is a genius for ditching The Witcher. Poor old Liam Hemsworth, I think he's in for a much rougher ride than he bargained for.

SUMMARY: Awful. Poor production values, actors that need a good wood stain to bring out their grain. When Lenny Henry stands out as one of the best actors in your show, you know you done screwed up!

Velma (2023– )

Pathetic.

[3/10 · 12 January 2023]

Normally I'd think of a clever tag line for the title, but this is just so direly awful that I don't want to waste any more time on it than I have to.

Generally speaking, I don't mind "re-imaginings". But lately, things have been getting out of hand in that area and Velma is one of the more egregious examples of it.

See, they made a Scooby Doo spin-off series and reimagined it without Scooby Doo. As if that weren't bad enough, they then reimagined all the characters as ethnically diverse versions of the originals, with the exception of Fred, because they needed a milk-white dude to mock endlessly. Then they reimagined all the character's personalities to be completely different than they originally were. Finally, they reimagined the wholesome nature of the original shows to be a dreary high school coming-of-age "comedy". Then they added what they undoubtedly think are gritty and relevant observations about modern life, storytelling tropes and conventions and then threw in a bit of cartoon semi-nudity for good measure.

The result doesn't even merit the term trash because, as any tramp will tell you, you can find things of value in the trash sometimes. Velma has nothing of value. It will not enrich the Scooby Doo IP. It will be the modern version of Scrappy Doo, which memory tells me was hated back in the day. But compared to this, Scrappy Doo seems like a phenomenal addition to the IP.

I can honestly not think of anything positive to say about it. It's loud, thinks it is far smarter than it actually is, and I had to physically jam my hands under my butt to stop myself from reaching for the remote every minute or two.

The supposedly witty observations about storytelling conventions have about the same level of edginess as that old uncle you never invite to family gatherings anymore. You know the one I mean... that guy who thinks he still looks good in leather trousers at 60? That is the level of self-awareness this show strives for... embarrassing old man unaware that people are laughing at him, not with him.

Velma just sucks. Please let it be cancelled swiftly.

SUMMARY: Someone who only had Scooby Doo explained to them by another person who had never watched the show, decided to make a Scooby Doo spinoff series. Don't waste you time.

Andor (2022– )

Rogue None... A Star Wars Fail

[5/10 · 22 September 2022]

So, IMDb has a lot of useful data points that can give you an idea of what to expect from a new series. In Andor's case, the relevant point is the cast list.

As you might expect, there are plenty of cast members. The salient detail to note, however, is how many of those cast members are in it for the long haul.

Andor's cast has just four actors who are credited with more than five episodes out of a twelve episode first season. Four. Just four. One of which we haven't even seen yet.

You might then reasonably expect those four to be considered the main characters of the story and to receive the most attention.

But no. Andor insists on giving plentiful amounts of time to many other characters, most of whom clearly are going to be left behind and are, in the big scheme of the story, unimportant. Bit part characters, if you will. They have their part to play, but ultimately, they are as expendable as the stormtroopers we have yet to see.

Now, don't get me wrong, I appreciate a steady buildup. But to waste so much run time on exploring characters that are essentially footnotes to the story is, in my opinion, disrespectful of the viewer's time and bordering on deliberate padding.

Hopefully, once this "setup" is out of the way, there will be an actual Star Wars tale to be told here, but for now, it is somewhat dull, tiresome and struggling to hold your attention. If it gets better, I'll revisit this review but I have the sneaking feeling that it won't.

One of the things I always ask myself when watching a show is "Would I watch this again someday?"

Right now, the answer to that question is a resounding "No!". Even if the rest of the series recovers to be fun and entertaining and worth repeated viewings, these first couple of episodes are guaranteed to be skipped, because they are so tediously dull.

Will it improve? Only time will tell.

EDIT: At episode 7 and no, it has not improved. Pacing is glacial, characterisations are dull. Far too much padding. It is not enjoyable.

SUMMARY: Lots of dullness. Pointless extra characters given too much time. Dreary looking and miserable feeling. Not so good at all.

Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

Hollywood finds a way...

[5/10 · 6 July 2022]

To complete miss the point of Jurassic Park.

There's no denying that this outing is not good. It's okay... for all of ten seconds as the opening credits roll, then comes the big fail.

See, at the end of the preceding movie (also terri-bad) was the release of a number of dinosaurs from a private zoo of sorts into the American wilderness. I don't know how many were released, but lets be generous and say a hundred. No, be real generous...two hundred.

Yet at the start of this movie we are expected to believe that dinosaurs have spread all over the globe and are everywhere. In a couple of years. Two hundred have become thousands and are all over the place. In a couple of years. What's wrong with this picture?

Leaving aside the breeding numbers and number of species, I'd like Colin Trevorrow to explain just how a T-Rex can get from America to, say, Australia? Go on Colin, I'll wait. What's that? It stowed away on a ship? Well, that's okay then! Again with the "What's up with this picture".

Snarkiness aside, this was your opening gambit Colin? A premise so ridiculously improbable that it invites scorn. Not only that, but then there is the follow-up conceit... that even if the dino's were some how able to migrate and multiply so improbably, they'd be allowed to by, you know... us humans.

Yes...allowed. At no point in the opening nonsense, nor throughout the rest of the film, are we told that people even tried to stop this "take over". Instead we are treated to a terrible "we must learn to live with them" schtick that is repeated a number of times and flies in the face of everything I've ever learned about humanity.

People would not just let this happen. Governments would not let this happen. Everyone and their dog would be hunting these things. The military would be involved. Plus, it's not like a T-Rex is going to hide. The smaller dino's, maybe, but anything larger than a dog is going to be rounded up, or killed, in very short order.

But of course, a dumb premise is easier to write than a carefully thought out one. Well done Colin. Well done!

The laser pointers of doom(tm) make a return, sending dinos chasing after whomever gets painted by them, even if the dino didn't actually see the person get spotlighted, they somehow magically know... Oh, and the laser pointers buzz when activated now because... reasons.

So is the story at least any good, or even fun?

Well, it has a few nice moments, mostly involving the original cast memebrs, but essentially it's just a retread of Jurassic Park. Remote dino park goes wrong and our gang of heroes has to escape and... you know what? Just watch JP1 again. It's more enjoyable, even if you've seen it countless times and know every line of dialogue. Because watching this movie you will also know everything that is going to happen because originality isn't something Trevorrow is big on. At least watching the original you'll know it was made with care and love and not a desire to cash in, as Dr Malcolm might say "By standing on the shoulders of giants".

Seriously, someone stop Trevorrow from writing anything that requires thoughtful plotting and internal consistency, because he just isn't up to it.

SUMMARY: Tired retread of Jurassic Park. Same scenes, same faces, same old same old. Be very drunk and it might be somewhat entertaining. Otherwise avoid.

Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)

The Titanic of the Star Wars universe...but not in a good way

[5/10 · 22 June 2022]

Why the Titanic?

Well, you remember that film by Jim Cameron about a boat sinking? You knew how the film would go down (no pun intended) before you went in to see it. It was no surprise.

Well, Obi-Wan Kenobi is just like that, except in this case, you know what is NOT going to happen.

You know that Obi Wan, Anakin, Uncle Owen, Aunt Beru, Luke and Leia are all going to survive the series. It's not like you can even say "maybe some of them will get really hurt" because we all know they survive unharmed until episode IV rolls around.

What this does is completely invalidate any and all tension and suspense in the series. Those fight scenes between Kenobi and Vader? Pointless. Kidnapping Leia? She'll be fine. Reva going to kill Luke, Owen and Beru? Hmmm...Let me think...I suspect they'll be alright.

Suspense is non-existent when you know the character can't die. All you are doing at that point is wasting time. The viewer's time, that is.

Now, I likened this to Titanic, but Titanic wasn't about the ship sinking, of course. That was incidental to the human story being told. But the Kenobi series doesn't have any kind of strong story to run alongside the "nobody dies" narrative. Unless of course, you count Reva. But since her redemption-arc story was more obvious than a street-hooker standing below a neon "All you can eat" diner sign, it too was not exactly a surprise. Nor was it executed in anything other than a perfunctory, by-the-numbers way.

So what are you left with? A chance to see a few old Star Wars characters again for nostalgia purposes? A few more glimpses of the Star Wars universe? But not much more than that.

I guess we should be thankful that even Kennedy and Co realised there was not much here to work with and limited it to six episodes. Dragging it out to thirteen episodes (or God-forbid, more) would have been painful.

In short, this felt hollow and empty. Nothing of any consequence to the Star Wars universe happened, except some awkward stretches of the existing lore to fulfill some kind of "member-berry" requirement that they think the fans wanted.

So things I went "hmmm" about regarding the lore?

Well, there's the fact that Leia knew Kenobi personally now, when she clearly only knew of him from her father's stories before.

Then there is the fact that Luke was chased by a lightsaber wielding lunatic now but had no idea what one was when Ben shows him his father's in episode IV.

You get the idea? Little things...perhaps not worthy of getting bent out of shape over, but they all add up. Add up to writer's not caring enough about what has gone before to make the effort not to screw up stuff.

All in all, not a very good series. Better than the sequel movies, and Solo, but not by a lot.

Also, are they really thinking anyone cares what happens to Reva now she has turned from the dark side? Will they laughably attempt to make an entire series around her? Only time will tell.

SUMMARY: Empty, hollow, suspense-less time waster. Writers that don't care enough to check what has gone before. Nothing really happens at all other than abusing existing lore. Not really worth your time unless you are very bored.

The Northman (2022)

Who knew Vikings and Vengeance could be such a boring combination?

[5/10 · 1 June 2022]

I won't waste too much time with this one. If you've had the misfortune to watch the recent movie "The Green Knight" then be prepared for more of the same pseudo art-house nonsense here.

Coming from "visionary" director Robert Eggers (if you ask me, he's had one too many "visions") this is a dull, tedious slog. Now, as my title suggests, it seems inconceivable (yes I do know what that word means!) that putting vikings and a tale of vengeance together could be such a dud, but here it is.

The Northman manages to take a story that should easily fit in the old 90 minute movie bracket and pad it out to nearly two and a quarter hours. The padding comes in the form of trippy daydreams/hallucinations by the main character as he suffers to satisfy his vengeance. Yeah, you'll want to skip those if you can.

I've only given this as many points as I have because at least there was a small twist in the story, albeit a blindingly obvious one to do with the "hero's" mother. That, and the ending which...lets just say it isn't surprising given the story. That lack of surprise ending will still leave you with that sinking feeling. A feeling that you've just wasted two hours of your life on what amounts to an episode of Vikings that was discarded in the writer's room.

SUMMARY: Going to Iceland (the store) is less tedious and frustrating than going to Iceland (the place) in this movie. Too much "visionary" and not enough "entertaining" in this one. Skip it, watch Vikings again, or Conan, or 13th Warrior or Outlander (2008). All are much, much more fun.

Love, Death & Robots: Jibaro (2022) Season 3, Episode 9

Not so much "Jibaro" as just plain "Gibber"

[2/10 · 26 May 2022]

Review for normal people:

It's the worst episode of the season and full of the pretentious nonsense that art house movies (and the people that watch them) love. The story could be told in about three minutes but is stretched out to fifteen with the excessive, and somewhat gratuitous, gyrations by the Nyad/Siren and a plethora of running/riding madly through trees, across rivers and so on.

In short.. siren beguiles a group of knights to a watery death but the lone deaf knight escapes this fate, only to madly set about hunting down and trying to kill the water spirit seemingly only with the notion of stealing her gold encrusted clothing. He seems to succeed only to magically have his hearing restored and fall victim to the not-dead spirit at the end.

That's it. I've actually summarised the "plot" in such a way as to make it sound almost interesting. Trust me, it is not. It is overly pretentious drivel that is a waste of your time. Art is not made by camera tricks or filters. It is not made by shaky cam footage. It is not made by padding out short scenes into long ones. It is most definitely not made by sacrificing substance in favour of style.

Review for art lovers:

A beautiful, transcendent piece valuing motion and imagery over story. Not to be watched... to be felt! A truly life-changing experience that will leave you breathless and unsettled. You will want to watch it again and again! Huzzah!

Back to normality:

As the title of this review suggests, it is visual gibber. So many 10 star reviews by people who have not reviewed anything else makes me suspicious. Especially when some of those accounts have been in existence for quite some time. I'm used to seeing such reviews from new accounts, but old ones that have never reviewed anything else? Hmmm. You decide.

SUMMARY: Utter rubbish. Not worth your time unless the idea of a dancing disco ball is your jam. Best avoid this one.

The Rookie: Enervo (2022) Season 4, Episode 20

Hope fading for The Rookie... non-existent for the spin-off show

[4/10 · 4 May 2022]

Remember when The Blacklist tried to do a spin-off starring one of its less important cast members? Remember how long that lasted? Yep...just one season.

I feel this will be the fate of The Rookie's spin-off series about the oldest FBI trainee ever.

As for The Rookie, there have been three dud episodes this season including the two piloting this new spin-off. That is not a good number in a single season. I can't help but feel they need to get back to what made The Rookie interesting and fun in the first place and stop with the overly preachy (and often political) nonsense that they don't really have the writing chops to do properly.

It already feels as if the show has reached the Jump the Shark point with stories like this episode and others that try and turn the show into something it did not start out being.

I get it, it's four seasons in and they are running out of ideas. But that doesn't excuse ridiculous plots and LA seemingly being policed by just a few officers that are involved in everything that goes down in a city of four million people. Not to mention a Fire Department that only has one crew that shows up everywhere.

I liked The Rookie, but I feel my time with it is coming to an end unless they course correct somewhat. And by course correct, I don't mean listening to what some focus group tells them is "the hot topic of the moment" and writing scripts around it. It feels cheap and it definitely feels like pandering.

Also... documentary style episodes where the cast sit and talk to cameras? Really guys? That sort of filler episode was a joke back in the 1980's. Knock that rubbish on the head!

I know. I've rambled a bit off this episode, but this just brought things to a head. Enervo is a bad episode, full of bad and very trite modern tropes that are becoming increasingly tiresome to endure. The heroine that can do no wrong even though she doesn't follow rules or orders. The loud and brash personality that is somehow held up as cute and amusing and not intensely annoying. The ridiculously contrived spy plot that has no place in a police procedural show. The list goes on and on.

It's also a conceit to think that a forced spin-off will ever work. Shows get spin-offs because people like a certain character, or group that was incidental to the show it was in. Not because you decide to shoe-horn a new character in and say "Surprise! Spin-off!"

SUMMARY: Fix your show Rookie! You are losing it big time.

Moonfall (2022)

The average Roadrunner cartoon makes more sense than this...

[5/10 · 30 March 2022]

No...really! I'm not saying Moonfall has a lot of nonsense in it. It is ALL nonsense. I don't think there are any scenes in this movie that stand up to any kind of scrutiny at all. It's as if it was written by people high on shrooms!

What makes this effort particularly guffawful was Emmerich's comments about the movie industry being ruined by the likes of Star Wars and Marvel franchises. The man said that whilst doing promo for this... a movie that is literally chock full of every tired cliche and trope you can name. It's a movie that does nothing for cinema.

So why is Moonfall bad?

I mean, apart from the lame, cringe-inducing dialogue, the sometimes poor CGI, the laughable plot, cliches and tropes, the desperate earnestness of the cast who all seem to exude a sadness that they agreed to do this, the awful awful awful (did I say awful enough times?) physics that defy any kind of reality...

Well, apart from all of that, it's fine. I recommend beer, and probably a frontal lobotomy to get the full enjoyment out of this disaster of a movie.

I gave this an additional star, just for Halle Berry being brave enough to risk another Razzie nomination.

All in all though, not really worth your time. The destruction of the Earth scenes are pretty routine, the plot is beyond mental and the physics is non-existent. Plenty of other movies (some even done by Emmerich) that are much more rewarding of your time investment. Watch one of those instead.

SUMMARY: Written by people on drugs, enjoyable only if you are on drugs. Completely ignores even basic physics. Formulaic and predictable. Lame dialogue. Top tip for a Razzie award.

The Legend of Vox Machina (2022– )

If you are/were ever a roleplayer, you get it. If not, YMMV

[8/10 · 6 February 2022]

Within the ranks of TTRPGers there are two camps, usually. Those, like me and I suspect the majority of the playerbase, who want to have fun and not take things too seriously. Then there are those who seek to turn every session into The Lord of the Rings.

Some of the best times I ever had as a TTRPGer were when my friends and I just goofed around and had fun in game. Vox Machina screams of people doing just that, much as the Critical Role campaign it comes from.

Most of the negative comments seem to be from what I'll politely refer to as "The Puritanical Brigade" outraged by the language and humour and the notion that there might be sex in an animated show.

It was never marketed as anything other than an adult-oriented show. The trailers did not shy away from showing either language, humour or gore. Yet it seems to come as a complete surprise to some people that these things are present throughout each episode.

Now, in the past I have decried crass humour and the like. But that was in shows that were never meant to contain them in the first place, like the awful Shannara Chronicles for example. Vox Machina, by contrast, never offered the "Lord of the Rings" as the model to judge it on. It is, and always was, a bunch of friends having fun playing a role-playing game, along with all the banter, interactions and humour that come with that territory.

As for the show as a show? Well the animation feels a little rough in places, but it has a style that reminds of the 80's quite strongly. It is perfectly fine, though I'd be happier if they added a few more frames here and there when the action heats up.

It is impossible to fault the voice acting either, since the original voice actors from Critical Role are reprising their roles here. If they don't know how their own characters should be, then who would?

Story-wise it's a familiarly simple TTRPG, session-based affair with no real surprises as to who is good and who is evil. It's not anything ground-breaking, but it is serviceable and let's be honest... you're watching more for the characters than the plot.

Overall, I'm finding it fun and entertaining, much like those TTRPG sessions of old. Now all I need to do is get a T-shirt with "I played D&D before it was cool" on it and I'll be set!

SUMMARY: Harmless roleplaying fun aimed at grown-ass adults, not ones who use the term "potty-mouth" to talk about language. Gamers will get more mileage out of it, especially if they, like me, have fond memories of their own gaming exploits around a table.

Day of the Dead (2021)

Yawn of the Dead

[4/10 · 1 November 2021]

Well, this is some grade-A bullcrap! A comedy show about the zombie apocalypse from the same channel that gave us Z-Nation. I guess once wasn't enough for them.

Day of the Dead (which I'll abbreviate to DuD, because it is one) is beyond bad. The acting is so poor, I began to wonder if the people were just random folks from off the street. But then I saw the forced emotion and the over-acting and realised "No, these are just very, very bad actors."

Not that even a good actor could do much with the terrible dialogue on display here, or the awful cringe-inducing scenes they would have to be a part of. Then again, a good actor wouldn't get involved with this in the first place.

The comedy is just horribly forced and yet terribly formulaic all at the same time. There is no clever humour here. Just trite, predictable nonsense. I'm surprised they didn't put a laugh track in, honestly, so that we would know when we were supposed to laugh. It is THAT bad!

I'll admit, the zombie effects are decent, but that can't save this mess. Two episodes was all I managed and I skipped ahead on the second one because it was so painful to watch.

SUMMARY: Nothing to do with Romero. Not funny. Very badly acted. Full of cringe. Avoid it like you would actual zombies. Just atrocious.

Y: The Last Man (2021)

Y... Just Y? Y-O-Y-O-Y...

[3/10 · 26 October 2021]

Well, there are sure are a lot of rubbishy shows around at the moment. This one falls afoul one of my favourite bad writing gripes...namely a dystopian future that would not exist.

See, all the men in the world (and male animals too, it seems) die off inexplicably, leaving only the women, and one lone male and his monkey as the survivors.

Immediately, society falls to pieces. Weeks after the event, there are bodies in the streets, food riots and a total breakdown of government, infrastructure and everything else.

Remember when Thanos did this in the MCU? When he snapped his magic fingers and erased half of all the inhabitants of the universe. Oddly, society there did not collapse, though people were, understandably very upset about the loss of loved ones etc.

So why, when all the MEN vanish, does it have such a different outcome?

Well friends, that reason is simple. It's really crappy writing.

See, the last time the world had half the number of people it has now was in the early 1970's. I am surprised how we survived back then, with so few people to work the machines and drive vehicles and man power stations etc. It must be a miracle, truly, that human society not only persisted, but thrived.

Sarcasm aside, the notion that the half of the world's population that are female couldn't keep society running is quite frankly insulting to both my intelligence and every living woman. It's like the writer's don't think women are capable of anything more than doing than housework and being hysterical - sort of like how women were portrayed in the 1950's.

Four billion people aren't enough to keep the shops open, or the supply lines running apparently.

But wait, there's more to why this show is bad than its laughable world-building (or world destroying, I suppose), there is also the interminable melodrama! Then there is the laughable protagonist, who is about as effectual as his monkey. Also, if this show is called Y: The Last Man, why is he often side-lined (admittedly a blessing) in his own show?

Yeah folks, I'd give this a miss. It's been cancelled anyway (this is muh surprised face...) so even if it had been good it isn't going anywhere.

SUMMARY: Nonsense dystopia plot. Everyone is incompetent. A rare series that is both misogynist and misandrist all at once. Did I mention it was slow and boring? It really is. Luckily, it is now cancelled. Rejoice!

Invasion (2021–2024)

Invasion... perhaps... maybe... eventually... but not right now

[3/10 · 26 October 2021]

You know those times when you are out shopping? You have a list, and a ton of other things to get done before you are done. Then suddenly you find yourself trapped behind those meandering fools who look upon shopping as a fun day out. Your schedule means nothing to them. The world owes them an amble, and to hell with anyone who just wants to get on.

Well, that sums up Invasion pretty well. There is a story here. A story that demands urgency. A story that demands action. A story that needs to get on.

However, it doesn't, because of the endless meandering of the overly melodramatic sub-stories that form the bulk of each episode's runtime.

This is something I've noticed more and more of late. Drama (and melodrama) wrapped up in another genre's coat to try and convince you it's worth your time.

As to whether Invasion will be worth your time, who can tell? So far at three episodes we know something is going on. We can assume from the title its an invasion, but we have no real clue any more than the characters in the show. Not that most of those characters really seem to care, being wrapped up in their own tedious dramatic scenes so completely as they are.

Honestly, if I wanted to watch a story about a woman finding out her husband is an adulterer, or a trite little play on Lord of the Flies with a schoolbus full of kids, I would watch something focussed on those things. Not something that is suggesting it's a scifi alien invasion story.

Now, the invasion may come at some point, but right now, its ninety percent dull melodrama. Imagine if you sat down to watch, say, Independence Day, and were told that first you had to watch three hours of some interminable soap opera that went nowhere. Would that sound attractive?

There is altogether too much filler content dressed up as background information to characters whom we don't know the importance of, nor what part they will play in the coming invasion. We have been given no reason to really care about any of them.

I'm hoping this interminably glacial pace will pick up as the season progresses, but I'm not hopeful. If it persists beyond the invasion itself, then it will kill the series stone dead. Because, honestly, when people sit down to watch an alien invasion story, its kind of important to, you know, have aliens in it.

EDIT: Watched 8 episodes now. Well... the invasion has happened! But you'll never see more than 1 of the aliens at a time and then only briefly. Still more endless melodrama that serves no purpose. Characters are even more unlikeable and useless than ever. Also, where is Sam Neill? I'm beginning to think that his presence in the promo and marketing was a bait-and-switch to suck people in. It's just increasingly boring and mediocre. I'm out.

SUMMARY: Dreadfully slow, filled with tedious melodrama to fill in the runtime. There's mystery, and then there's miss-tery, and this one is currently missing by a very long way. Not recommended.

La Brea (2021–2024)

About as much fun as getting stuck in a tarpit yourself...

[4/10 · 6 October 2021]

I was prepared to give this a chance. The first episode was pretty lame, but I said to myself "It can only get better, right?"

Wrong. The writing here is just atrocious and whomever was responsible for the dialogue needs to be fired. I mean, "We can't give you approval to launch a mission through the portal to find out where it goes until we know where it goes." is perhaps the stupidest line I've heard since Star Trek Hidden Frontiers spoiled me with "Can we establish two-way communication?" followed by "No we can only send and receive..."

No one in this show acts remotely like normal people. No one seems to be capable of organizing anything. They bumble about, generally doing little to improve their situation, instead seemingly intent on waiting for someone to rescue them. In other words, a recipe for disaster.

And a disaster is what this show is. Poor quality writing and dialogue also can't mask the bad acting and even worse accents on display. The whole thing looks like it was shot in an urban park.

Despite a sinkhole covering several blocks (at least) of LA opening up, there is little of the buildings and the earth they stood on to be found in the prehistoric world the characters find themselves in. Where is the rubble of the multi-storey buildings? What happened to the thousands of other people that went into the hole? Where are the countless corpses? Why does none of this make sense?

That last, of course, is answered simply by pointing at the budget nature of the production and the bad writing involved. The lack of a budget also is the culprit behind the video-game grade CGI. I mean, the sabre-tooth tiger looks like a reject from Far Cry Primal.

Perhaps I've been spoiled by streaming services, with their bigger budgets and desire to, I don't know, make something worthwhile, but NBC should be embarrassed to put out something like this. It's like a show straight out of the 80's, complete with all the usual cliches and tropes. In fact, the sole nods to modern production values seems to be a slightly more diverse cast and the fact that one character has a vape pen.

Nope, this kind of low-rent production won't fly in the current market. I doubt it will last long. But, if you want to laugh at what is supposed to be a serious drama then go ahead and give it a try. It's unintentionally hilarious.

EDIT: I caved and watched episode 4. Wow! Now we have people wading across streams after throwing away a stick they could have used to test the depth. And the final guffaw... some doctor in the real world who has somehow managed to either steal, or build, an advanced VTOL aircraft in her barn! A barn which has a handprint recognition entry system, no less! Honestly this is like a really, really bad roleplaying game scenario thought up by little kids.

SUMMARY: Low budget, badly written, poorly acted. Badly generic characters doing badly generic things. CGI more prehistoric than than the creatures it is trying to portray. Unintentionally funny, but not in a good way. Well... not unless you've had a lot of beer, anyway. Not recommended.

The Green Knight (2021)

What did the fox say..?

[3/10 · 24 August 2021]

So, hoping for an Arthurian tale with chivalry and maybe some action I decided to give this a shot on streaming. All I can say is, thank Christ I did not watch this in a cinema... there's no fast-forward there.

The trailer is one of those misleading types that promise one thing that the film does not then deliver upon. In this case, it promised (as I mentioned above) and Arthurian tale of knights and chivalry. What I got was a dreary, boring slog with little to recommend it.

After the first ten minutes, I came here, to IMDb, to see if I was being sold a pup. A rating of 6.9 greeted me. Suspicious, I delved into the comments and discovered the truth of the matter. It was indeed dull and boring.

Curious as to whether the whole movie was like that, I decided to skip ahead incrementally until I found something interesting. I stopped once, upon seeing the fox character and tarried for a few moments. But even that was done in such a dull and lifeless manner that I quickly gave up.

Needless to say, upon resuming the skipping, I soon reached the end of the film.

Now, of course, I went back and watched sections of the film, curious to see if, at any point, it rose above the heavily-sedated mediocrity it seemed to have set for itself. It did not.

Instead, what we have is an overly pretentious take on a classic arthurian legend that could not have been less engaging if it tried to be. There is almost no character development. There is very little attempt to pace the movie in anything like a normal manner. Places, people and story are sacrificed in this (and I'll use the term reluctantly...) art piece.

David Lowery has written and directed this movie in such a way as to appeal to only those think an unmade bed is artistic. Sure, the cinematography is interesting in places, but the over-reliance on dully lit or foggy scenes often makes it hard to see what is going on. But that last is okay ,really, because there is nothing going on.

All in all, an effort that has failed to do justice to the source material. Destined to be forgotten. Another of those movies you'll come across late at night, watch for a few minutes until you remember what it is and then go "Oh! That rubbish!" and swiftly change the channel.

SUMMARY: Dull, boring and tedious. What did the fox say? It said "You have got to be f*****g kidding me, right?" Avoid this.

Black Summer (2019–2021)

Dumber than a Bag of Hammers

[4/10 · 13 August 2021]

Somehow this series escaped my attention when it first aired. Sadly, I discovered it recently and honestly, I wish it had continued to escape my attention.

The first two episodes are not too terrible but then it rapidly goes downhill from there. We have a terrible rip-off of Lord of the Flies in one episode where, despite it being relatively soon after the zomb-pocalypse, children are forming tribes and murdering people. Why? For what purpose?

The power is still on. The stores are full of goods. There are plenty of vehicles everywhere. Yet people act is if there is nothing for them to scavenge. They walk rather than drive. Everyone is either part of the survivor group, a zombie, or out to screw over anyone they meet.

When zombies appear, the characters run away and leave doors wide open behind them. They act in the most idiotic and dangerous manner possible and when they finally wise up and decide they need weapons, they come up with a ridiculously convoluted plan to rob an outpost run by military types that have gone rogue. Remind me again how many guns there are in America? Is this really the only way they can get guns? Wouldn't simply searching the abandoned houses be a far safer option?

In short, this series is another in the "Do dumb crap....further the plot" school of writing. That, plus the pretentious "break the episode into segments with title-cards" nonsense that no doubt makes the creators feel very clever and awesome.

You will not care for any of the people in this show. They are dumb, act dumber and do nothing a normal person would do in the situations they find themselves in.

I mean, some of them even act as if they are mentally challenged. The deaf guy who seems delighted to bang on a drum and feel the vibrations, apparently oblivious to the actual noise he is creating. The bearded guy who, having become separated from the group, goes shopping in a store as if he was stocking up for a barbecue, complete with beer.

All of this in a zombie apocalypse.

Now, some of these characters die off and, when they do, there is no feeling of sadness or empathy, because honestly, they deserved it.

To be honest, if you found yourself coming across this group in the apocalypse, you'd quickly ditch them and go your own way. All they succeed in doing is getting themselves and each other killed. You'd be fine, safe in the knowledge that these idiots would draw all the zombies to them. All twenty or so zombies you ever see, that is.

SUMMARY: Bad writing. Really BAD! Characters you won't care about. Idiotic "dumbness drives the plot" writing and a docu-style of presentation that will irritate you very quickly. NOT recommended!