Stanbabe Reviews

The Blue Lagoon (1980)

Shields & Atkins are lost at sea and the love is real!

[26 November 2003]

In this second screen adaptation of the 1903 novel. "The Blue Lagoon"shows us all that young love can be beautiful and innocent without turning into cheap vulgarity.

The story opens on two kids and their guardian(played by William Daniels)heading for San Fransisco,following the death of the little girl's"Em's"mother.

Unfortunateley an onboard fire forces the crew and it's passengers to abandon ship and flee for the lifeboats. The two kids:"Emiline"and"Richard"to sail away with a gruff but loveable galley cook"Paddy Button"(played by the late Leo McKern) to a remote South Seas Isle.

Where the old codger shows the kids how to survive in the tropics and he also teaches them an old sea shanty. Sadly..the old man dies from drink and the kids are left to care for themselves. Within time..they move to another lsland ,create another home they notonly grow up..they also discover their sexual desires for each other and how much they really care for each other.

While"The Blue Lagoon"has a minimal plot..(and an equally minimal amount of costumes for the two young leads).It does have lushsettings to showcase and the relationships between Ms.Shields and Mr.Atkins is interesting.As they try to cope with the growing sexual awareness and their disagreements over whether or not they should stay on the isle?

Of course they do stay on the lsland and fall in love with each other.They also have a child and they care for Little"Paddy Button Jr" deeply.

The sex scenes between Ms.Sheilds And Mr.Atkins may be a little difficult for today's viewers to watch.But..somehow? Seeing these two teenage kids having sex doesn't seem as tawdry or as unacceptable as the teenage sex scenes that are now being showcased in the movies and on tv these days.

Maybe..we ought to rediscover the innocence and charm of "The Blue Lagoon"again?

Flirting (1991)

A Young man finds love but loses it in a unkind school!

[21 October 2003]

In this quiet and simple story.

A difficult young student at a strict boy's boarding school in

1960's Australlia has trouble dealing with his abusive and unsympatic

headmaster and his patronizing instructor.

"Danny Embling"(played here with a quiet idea of tough rebellion

by Noah Taylor)hates being a student in this hideious place.

Until he meets a beautiful but tough young black girl named"Thahagwe"(played by Thannie Newton).Who becomes his friend and eventually his soul mate.

As they pair try to cope with the strict derigours of the Brittish school system and fall in love.Which bothers the classmates of the duo and which the cruel headmasters finally break up towards the end of the picture.

The atmosphere of the film is bleak and there is very little

interaction between the other actors and the two leads.Since they're

used for atmosphere and lend very little to the plot.

Despite these flaws..The rapport between Ms.Newton and Mr.Taylor make this film worth watching.

Also..Look for an appearance by Ms.Nichole Kidman(Then an unknown actress).Who plays a classmate of Ms.Newton's.

March of the Wooden Soldiers (1934)

Laurel & Hardy Come To Fairyland and bring their fun Too!

[16 August 2003]

Laurel & Hardy Came to Fairyland in 1934.When they starred in Hal Roach's cinematic version of "Babes In Toyland!".From the start,the boys brought their comedic magic to the screen.As their approach to spoofing man's foilbels fit in with the musical/fantasy of The Victor Herbert and Glen McDonough comic opera.The story has Poor Old "Mother Peep"/"The Old Woman Who Lives In A Shoe"(Flo Roberts)trying to prevent the evil and lecherous mortage holder"Silas Barnaby"(Henry Kleinbach Brandon)trying to force "Mother Peep"to either pay off the mortage or allow her daughter "Little Bo Peep"(Charolette Henry)to marry him .As an alternitive to Eviction."Little Bo Peep"doesn't love "Barnaby",she loves "Tom Tom Piper"(Felix Knight).And she has trouble in preventing the villian from throwing out her family and "Mrs.Peep's"two struggleing boarders.The two Boarders"Stannie Dum & Ollie Dee"(Laurel & Hardy)are two unsuccessful asistant toymakers.Who try to get a loan from "The Toymaker"(Bill Burress)to help pay off the mortage.But when the boys inadvertedly make the wrong size for Santa Claus'(Ferdi Munier's)order of Toy Wooden Soldiers for Christmas. They also allow one of their creations to run amok in the toy factory.The boys are fired.And they have to find another way of preventing "Barnaby"From evicting them and bringing "Bo Peep"and "Tom Tom"Together.While the film doesn't maintain the entire score from the original stage production.It does have the best songs from the show's score(arranged and performed by The Hal Roach Studio orchastra and conducted by Harry Jackson and John Swallow)It also has a beautiful setting that maintains the flavor of the original stage production(Courtsey of William Cameron Menzies)and it has some ingenuius special visual effects courtsey of The Hal Roach Studios master FX Magicians:Art Lloyd And Roy Seawright and the fine direction of Gus Meins(Who worked with the kids)and Charley Rogers(Who worked with the comic/character actors and singers in this film.Mr.Rogers also had a small cameo in this film as"Simple Simon").and some chills..as L&H,their cannon of darts and their armies of Toy Wooden Soldiers foil "Barnaby"and his "Bogeymen"Monsters during the film's climatic ending.Most importantly..The film has the comedic brillance of Laurel & Hardy.Which makes this film a classic for adults and for the kids.Forget about The Walt Disney,NBC TV and MGM/UA Remakes? This Is the only real film version of"Babes In Toyland!".(Even If the film is still known under it's reissue title:"March Of The Wooden Soldiers!").

The Clown and the Kids (1967)

Emmett Kelly's last movie is a real pipping charmer!

[13 August 2003]

In his last movie.Vetrain clown:Emmett Kelly creates a charming fantsy that is heartwarming,thrilling and funny.The story has Kelly, his two kids and their circus troupe traveling thru Europe to find some small towns to perform in.One town,where they find that they're not welcome is the one runned by an evil mobster:"Jonathan Scragg".Who controlls and abuses everyone in the small village..including the kids.It's to Mr.Kelly's"Weary Willie The Tramp Clown"and his other alter ego"The Piper"to charm the kids into seeing the circus.And then overthrowing the evil "Mr.Scragg"and putting an end to the depressing atmosphere that has linger over the town for years.The story is good and so is Mr.Kelly's acting abilities.The only damper are the songs..which are neither charming,funny,heartfelt or even nessicary.Why songs were added to this film is still unclear? But despite this flaw.."The Clown & The Kids!"is still a happy fairy tale and a happy ending to the long and successful career of one of the entertainment industries most beloved clowns.

The Odd Couple II (1998)

Lemmon & Matthau Team up one more time.But the reunion is forgetable!

[26 June 2003]

In their last film together.Jack Lemmon & Walter Matthau try to recapture the magic of the original "Odd Couple"movie in "The Odd Couple Part Two!".As "Felix Unger"(Mr.Lemmon) and "Oscar Madison"(Mr.Matthau)head for a town in Southern,Cal.to attened the wedding of "Oscar's son":"Bruce"(Perrinial Neil Simon Geek:Jonathon Silverman) and "Felix' Daughter".But they have problems,as "Felix'" whinning and "Oscar's"incompetence creates havoic and they lose their car and get mixed up with an old man(played by Bernard Hughes).Who dies in his car while giving the boys a lift and they meet up with two ladies of the evening.Who create more trouble than the boys care to know about.The film is full of unnessicary slapstick and unfunny dialogue that does little to enhance the plot or make Lemmon And Matthau's performances anything that is even remotely funny.Even the opening scene in Florida.Where Matthau's"Oscar"in engaged in another dirty poker game with some senior citizens(One of them is played by an actress that I've met:Ms.Florence Stanley.Best remembered as "Mrs.Bernice Fish"on "Barney Miller"and "Fish")is a poor recreation of the classic dirty poker game with Larry Haines(as "Speed"),Herb Edelman (as "Murray") and a gentleman that I've met:Mr.John Fiedler (as "Vinnie").It would have been nice to see Mr.Lemmon and Mr.Matthau in one more funny movie.But "The Odd Couple Part 2"is a sad farewell for these two wonderful character performers.

The Great Race (1965)

Lemmon,Curtis,Wood ,Wynn & Falk race for the gold and for great Laughs!

[26 June 2003]

Many have unfairly knocked:Mr.Blake Edwards:"The Great Race"as an unfunny slapstick comedy.But it's a film that is full of wonderful sigh gags,funny pratfalls and some hilarious farce worthy of "The Three Stooges"and the famous comedy team.Whose names grace the opening of this film:Mr.Laurel & Mr.Hardy.The story opens with:"The Great Leslie"(Mr.Curtis)showing off his athletic and dardevil skills at several fairs.Yet? His efforts are almost being thwarted and even mocked by that arrogant and jellious,ego tripping mainaic:"Prof.Fate"(Lemmon).A crazed,incompetant scientist/inventor.Who wants to prove that he's a better daredevil and talent that "Leslie".It's seem that:"The Professor"will get his chance.When he takes up his opponent's offer to race against "Leslie's"car from NYC to Paris,France.Working with his equally idiotic henceman:"Max Mean"(Pete Falk)."Prof.Fate"(Lemmon)create a car that can do anything..At least everything that is wrong. As it shoots off cannon balls at the wrong time and it's unable to keep the two villians warm in the Alaskian cold.In the intrem..A Newspaper Publisher:"Mr.Goodbody"(Arthur O'Connell)is manipulated to hire a tough,fast talking young suffergette:"Maggie DuBois"(Natile Wood)as a reporter to cover the race.She tries to get an interview with the contestants.But she meets with rejection in the worst way from Curtis and she nearly gets herself killed by Lemmon and Falk's dogs and their crazy invention's cannon.Nevertheless..She enters the race and before long our troup of zany competitors are in for the ride of their lives.Mr.Lemmon and Mr.Falk are hilarious as the two bumbling villians.Whose ineptitude at villiany and using crazy inventions make them the funniest comedic heavies since Stan and Ollie.Ms.Wood's is perfect as the tough,no nonsense but beautiful and flirtacious would be reporter and femminist.Who tries to get her story ,gives Mr.Curtis a flirtacious wink.But she doesn't accept his charms,until the end of the flick.Keenan Wynn is also engaging as Mr.Curtis'aide.And they're are also some funny cameos from Art O'Connell,Marv Kaplan,Vivian Vance,Ross Martin,Hal Smith, and two performers that I've met:The Late Denver Pyle(as the Sheriff of "Boracho")and Larry Storch as"Dirty Texas Jack".There's even a pie fight that is truely funny and a scene..where Poor Ms.Wood is caught in her undies by an enemy officer after a swim."The Great Race"is an unappreciated film comedy that deserves another look.Hopefully? Fans of truely funny slapstick comedy will watch it and see it's real potential for laughs?

Smile (1975)

Michael Ritchie tries to expose bogus contests in Smile! But the film loses Big Time!

[23 June 2003]

In this dark and self effacing satire of beauty pagents and all of it's bogus pomp and circumstances.Filmmaker:Michael Ritchie tries to show the false glamour and the pressures of teenage girls trying to gain their few moments of fame and attemps to bolster their egos.The film tries to expose this phoney and meaningless contest.But it fails from the start.The efforts from Bruce Dern as a Business Exec,trying to gain funds for the contest is long and boring.As he tries to give a speech at a local lodge meeting with some disinterested members.And his lunch at a local fast food joint with Former:"Jeffersons"regular Paul Benedict is neither funny or dramatic.Barbera Feldon as the obnoxious go by the book matron for the pagent.Tries to play a demaning martinet,who expects her girls to measure up to the event.But she does little more than bark out orders and get in the way.And Former "Peanuts"voice over actor:Eric Shea as Mr.Dern's perverse and sexually profeteering son offers very few laughs(of the rather blue genre')to this film.The only memorable characters in this forgettable satire are:Annette O'Toole and in her first film appearance:Melinlie Griffin as two coniving contestants.Who use their wilies and their sexual charms to win the pagent.One scene has Ms.O'Toole show Ms.Griffin how to exploit herself to the judges.This scene is accomplished inside the girl's hotelroom.While their clad in nothing but their lingere'.Despite the efforts of Ms.Griffin and Ms.O'Toole and the haunting tune of Charlie Chaplin's(Performed by Mr.Nat King Cole).Michael Ritchie's"Smile!"is a total loser!

Batman: The Animated Series (1992–1995)

The New Batman Tv cartoons return to it's serious roots but without the Tim Burton Touch!

[15 June 2003]

In this recent attemp to create and produce another "Batman"tv cartoon series.Warner Brothers has brought:"The Dark Knight"back to his tough edge crime fighting roots.Here "Batman"(voiced by actor:Kevin Conroy)goes after such psychotic super crooks as:"The Joker","The Penquin","Mr.Freeze","Killer Croc","Two Face","ClayFace","The Mad Hatter","The Scarecrow","Posion Ivy","Harley Quinn" and"Catwoman"with the angry,brooding intensity of a "Mike Hammer"or a "Philip Marlowe".The campiness of the 1960's live action tv show,movie and the cartoons are removed from this version of Mr.Bob Kane's creation.The villians are seen as truely dangerious anti-social mainiacs.Who misuse their gadgets and their super powers for their insane form of revenge against the world and against "Batman"."Robin" and"Batgirl"(voiced for a time by Ms.Melissa Gilbert)only appear in a small number of installments of the series.Thus The focus of these films are on"The Dark Knight".But "The Boy Wonder"and "Batgirl"do contribute in their aiding "Batman"in his fight against crime.There are also some memorable performances by Bob Haistings as "Police Comm.Jim Gordon"("Barbera "Batgirl"Gordon's father),Llyod Bochner as Gotham City Mayor Hamilton and Two actors.Who provided the voices of Abusive,martinet police detective"Bullock"and Tough but caring police woman"Montoya".The series is gritty but the harshier aspects of Mr.Burton's "Batman"movies is removed here.Mainly because these cartoons are aimed at The Saturday morning set.And with the rules about not showing violent cartoons on tv."Batman"can still be a tough,unconvetional crime fighter.But he has to pull his punches ..just as bit for his new tv cartoon show.

Zapped Again! (1990 Video)

Linda Blair's talents are waisted in this forgetable sequel of Scott Baio flick.

[15 June 2003]

In this sequel to "Zapped!".Another High School science nerd inadvertedly finds Scott Baio's stash of Teleknetic potions.He decides to use these super mential power controlling drinks to get rid of the school bullies.Who are trying to take over their science club.The plot is predictable,boring and phoney.It doesn't have the overtly sexual gags of the previous film and there is none of the memorable characters from the first film in this picture.I doubt that Mr.Crothers(who played Dexter in the first film),Ms.Langdon(Who does appear in this film as the principal),Mr.Waldron,Mr.Bakey,Mr.Bowen or even Ms.Page(who still plays the abusive,henpecking Crazed PC moralistic pest that she was known for on "Sandford & Son")would have helped this forgetable sequel at all.Even Linda Blair's appearance in this stupid movie as a Home Ecconomics teacher is limited to a cameo.That was used for a needless and tasteless sexual sight gag.Linda Blair is still a talented performer.But her efforts are waisted in this mindless piece of Hollywoodized Teen crap.

Family Secrets (1984 TV Movie)

Melissa Gilbert work well with Ms.Powers and Ms.Stapleton in Family Secrets!

[15 June 2003]

In this tv movie drama.Ms.Powers is an overworked ad ex.Who is ordered by her bosses to take out from work.Both she and her daughter(Played here engaging by Ms.Melissa Gilbert)head for the home of Powers Mother(played with some maternal toughness by Maureen Stapleton).As they try to get Ms.Stapleton to move to a new home following the death of her husband.It's during this period.That Ms.Gilbert learns of the difficult relationship between her mother and her grandmother.Secrets of betrayail,mistrust and not being given any love by the elder member of the family creates extreme tensions for Ms.Powers and Ms.Stapleton.Until Ms.Gilbert decides to leave her mother and move in with her grandma.The story is predictable but the performances from these talented ladies.more than make up for the plot's flaws.Ms.Powers is wonderful as the workaholic daughter.Who doesn't get along with her mother and feels that she is hiding some dark secrets about her father.Ms.Stapleton is equally engaging as the grandmother.Who simply wants her daughter and grandaughter to forget the past and get on with their lives.And Ms.Gilbert is perfect as the daughter.Who just wants to have some normalcy in her life.Despite the minor plot."Family Secrets"is a family treasure.

C.H.O.M.P.S. (1979)

Bertinelli has little to do in this crime fighting parody.

[15 June 2003]

In this spoof of crime fighting gadgetry and corrupt business execs.Wesley Euire(Best rememebed as "Will Marshall"on the 1970's version of The Kroft Bros.and NBC TV's"Land Of The Lost Show!")creates a bioonic dog.Which he programs to protect property and people from intruders.A large crime wave hits the city and Euire tries to impress his not too understanding boss:"Mr.Norton"(played by former "Maude"and "Different Strokes"actor:Conraid Bain)with his new invention.His efforts are not too well received by "Mr.Norton"(Mr.Bain).But it takes some crooked doings by Bain's competitor(played delightfully by the late Mr.Jim Backus)and his two bumbling hencemen(played by the equally delightful Chuck McCann and Red Buttons)and alot of persuation from Bain's Daughter"Casey"(Valerie Bertinelli)to get Bain to ultilize Mr.Euire's crime fighting dog device.Bertinelli's performances are sadly limited to a few scenes .Where she fights with her onscreen father(Mr.Bain)to get him to use "Chomps"and she bills and coos with Mr.Euire.Other than these minors sequences.The rest of the film centers on Euire's attemps to get his device to work right.And the bumbling capers of Messers:McCann,Backus and Buttons are the real stars of this minor film comedy from Cartoon producers:The Late Mr.William Hanna and Mr.Joesph Barbera.

In a Child's Name (1991)

She comes into the film's plot a little late.But Valerie gives us her best!

[10 June 2003]

Based on a true story."This Child Is Mine!"recalls the trouble marriage of a drug addicted and murderous dentist.Who kills his wife and then turns over the custody of his infant son to his crazed bible touting parents.And they cover up the fact that their son is guilty of killing his wife and messing around with other women.Valerie Bertinelli doesn't come into the film's plot until the latter half of the first part of the story.She plays the dead woman's sister.Who fights to gain proper custody of her newphew.But she is thwarted by her corrupt in laws and the equally crooked law enforcers of the south.But by the end of the second part of this minni series.Valerie and her family and law enforcers of the north foil her dangerous and crooked in laws and she finally becomes the child's guardian.With some support from her father(played by the late John Karlan..best remembered by tv viewers as "Harvey Lacey Sr"on CBS Tv's and Barney Rosenweig's:"Cageny & Lacey")and David Huddleston as the evil father in law of the insane dentist."This Child Is Mine"is one of the better tv movie thrillers.

Night Patrol (1984)

Linda Blair's Tries to make the grade on "Night Patrol"but fails!

[10 June 2003]

Linda Blair's talents in this horribly unfunny and vulgar comedy are limited to three cameos.Since the real stars of this stupid and sophmoric film are:Murray Langston(formerly NBC TV's and Mr.Chuck Barris'"Unknown Comic"on"The Gong Show")and The Late Mr.Pat Paulson as two cops.Who work the night shift and they do little more than louse up their cases and spout off vulgar and unfunny wisecracks that belong in cheap comedy clubs.The Late Billy Barty's appearances in this film are also limited to small guest appearances.Where he does little more than shout foul mouth wisecracks and flatuate.And Ms.Blair as"police Dispatcher"Sue Per Man" is there simply to faun over Mr.Langston's character and have her tushie pinched by Mr.Paulson..Who gets a well earned smack in the mouth.This film is a waiste of time and Money.It also waistes the talents of Poor Ms.Blair and Poor Mr.Barty.They deserve better acting work than being on "The Night Patrol".

The Princess and the Cabbie (1981 TV Movie)

Pygmalion:San Francisco Style and it's great!

[10 June 2003]

In this twist on Shaw's "Pygmalion!".Valerie Bertinelli plays:"Joanna James".The sheltered daughter of a well to do but thoughtless and overprotective millionaire.Who has trouble dealing with his daughter's inability to cope with the real world."Jo's"(Ms.Bertinelli)is misdiagnosed as Brain damaged and her problems are never properly delt with by her teachers and her doctors.It isn't until she meets a part time cab driver and a struggleing english teacher and writer(Robert Desario)that her problem is revealed.The poor young woman is diagnosed with Dyslexsia And he helps her with her inabliity to read properly.Much to the displeasure of "Joanna's"Father.The film is a wonderful romantic comedy that saterizes social morals and the foolishness of parents over protecting their kids.The Chemistry between Ms.Bertinelli and Mr.Desario is beautiful.Their characters work very well together.The actor playing her father is very convincing and so the actress playing Ms.Bertinelli's housekeeper.The only character.Who does very little but complain about Mr.Desario's involvement with Ms.Bertinelli is Ms.Shelly Long.Who is little more than an annoying contrivence.She tries to play Mr.Desario's conscience.But she does it in a manner that is phoney,unessicary and annoying as hell! Despite this flaw."The Princess & The Cabbie"is a romantic comedy worthy of George Shaw,Al Lerner,Fritz Lowe and Julie Andrews And Rex Harrison.Bravo Val And Bob!

With a Vengeance (1992 TV Movie)

Mel and Jack reunited for another murder mystery.But the party ends fast

[7 June 2003]

Melissa Gilbert and Jack Scailia reunited for this second venture into murder mystery.As Federal Agent and father Jack tries to find out about Mel's past.And help her discover who she really is.Ms.Gilbert's character is a young amnesaic.Who can't remember her real identity.The reason that she can't remember who she is? Is due to her suffering from emotional trauma.That was caused by seeing her father(played by Michael Gross)killing her mother and little brother and chasing her into the woods.Where the poor young woman barely escapes this homicidal mainiac.Ms.Gilbert gets a job caring for Agent Scailia's son(Mat Lawrence).But he becomes suspicious of her credentials.Since most of her previous experiences as a nanny are non exisistent.It's not until he finds out about her situation that both Scailia and another agent try to seek out the truth about this poor girl.Unaware that they're being stalked by Ms.Gilbert's father(Mr.Gross).Who wants to make sure that Mel woin't escape from him this time.And that he'll prevent the two feds and Jack's kid from capturing him for murder.The plot like Gilbert's and Scailia's previous tv movie effort:"Donor"is predictable and becomes tiresome after a time.Ms.Gilbert tries to make this venture enjoyable.But her character has no enthusiasium at all.The most interesting character in the film is Mr.Lawrence.His performance is cute.But despite Mr.Lawrence's and Ms.Gilbert's efforts.With A Vengence! is A tv movie drama..without any real thrills ,a good performance or a meaningful story.

Donor (1990 TV Movie)

Melissa Gilbert tries to be a detective in Donor.

[7 June 2003]

In this forgettable murder mystery.Melissa Gilbert is a young intern at an inner city hospital.Where a cover up is taking place.Young to middle age men are being used as guenna pigs for an insane experiment.Where they are being turned into terminally ill senior citizens by two renegade doctors(One of them is played by vetrain character actor:Perinel Roberts)who are tampering with the lives of these unfortunate people.Their plans are being thwarted by Dr.Gilbert and by another intern(played by Jack Scailia).Who is really an undercover Drug enforcement agent.Who is assigned to try and check out a lead into a supposed drug peddling scam.But he stumbles onto Roberts mad experiments and he finds out that Dr.Gilbert is getting too close to the villians'plot and she is putting her life and his investigation into jeopardy.The plot is very bare and predictable.And most of the actors in this film do little more than complain about Ms.Gilbert's tampering with a situation that should be left alone.Yet..Ms.Gilbert's performance is enjoyable and she keeps the story interesting.Even if we can guess how it will turn out.

The Penalty Phase (1986 TV Movie)

Melissa Gilbert's performance is Penalty Phase is misleading

[7 June 2003]

This film is a disappointing satire of the justice system's efforts to rule on capital punishment.The judge(played by Peter Strauss)is trying to deal with a contriversal ruling for a criminal.Who many want to see get the death penilty.While the pro life group wants to see this man get either life in prison or a parole and some psycho-thearpy to help rehabilitate him back into society.The judge doesn't want to louse up this situation.Since he needs positive votes from his consituates to earn him another term on the bench.Melissa Gilbert's appearances in this film are limited to two cameos.Both of them are minor and one.Where she tries to have illicit sex with Judge Strauss is neither sexually exciting or nessicary for the scene.Mr.Strauss' performance in this film is equally forgettable.In Short.."Penality Phase"is a tv movie drama that should have been condemned before it ever got to the network airways.

Shattered Vows (1984 TV Movie)

Valerie Bertinelli shows us the life of Sister Mary.

[7 June 2003]

Valerie Bertinelli once again.Gives us her best in this tv movie drama.Which is based on the story of former nun:Sister Mary Gilligan.Mary Gilligan(Bertinelli)completes high school and believes that she has received the call to serve God.She enters an abbey.Where her aunt is one of the sisters.She trains for the noviciate.But she has trouble adapting to the ridgid lifestyles of the church.Eventually she becomes aware of the second vatican and she tries to fall in love with a young priest.She also trains to become an psychologist.But her love for "Father Tim"is rejected.Due to the fact that the father is not willing to jeopardizes his career in the church and he is forced to leave her.She does become a successful dr.of psychology and she leaves NYC for Southern Ca.Where she creates a successful medical practice and she meets her future husband.The story is interesting and the performances from most of the cast is good.The only damper is the love story between Ms.Bertinelli and the young actor playing the priest.Their romance is unconvincing and after a while becomes a bore.Despite this flaw."Shattered Vows"is a wonderful dramatic tale.

The Promise of Love (1980 TV Movie)

Valerie Bertinelli shows the tradgic side of Vietnam in Promise Of Love

[7 June 2003]

In this comment on the tradgic effects of The Vietnam War.Ms.Bertinelli plays a young widow of a US Marine.Who is killed during America's intervention into it's worst.most stupid mistake in military history.With her husband dead and the military trying to force her to return to her family.Ms.Bertinelli refuses to give up her home and be treated like a pampered child.Unable to work with the mititary's unsuccessful social programs.She gets a job with the director of the base's rec center(played by Parker Stevenson.Best remembered for his previous tv efforts on "The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries"and for playing one half of"Simon & Simon"With Mr.Gerald McRainey).Who not only helps her enjoy her life again but gives her the strength to move on.The plot is predictable.But Valerie Bertinelli performances makes this film an enjoyable flick worth watching.

Sweet Hostage (1975 TV Movie)

Linda Blair's Doris Mae is a tv hostage worth loving!

[7 June 2003]

In her second tv movie performance.Ms.Blair plays another tough character.Whose hard edge demenor is changed by a misunderstood mential patient.In this tv movie adaptation of the book:"Welcome To Xanadu".An escapee from a Boston,Ma.mential hospital"Lenny Hatch"(Martin Sheen)heads for New Mexico.Where he captures a teenage farm girl:"Doris Mae Withers"(Ms.Blair).At first,Ms.Blair is perturbed at being held prisoner by this nut.But after a time..she begins to see this supposedly unstable man as a charming..well educated,funny but confused person.Who is more suspicious of authoritative people rather than being a threat to anyone.He not only teaches Mr.Blair's ignorant farm girl basic lessions.He also shows her how to love people and how to love herself.Both Ms.Blair and Mr.Sheen give the best performances of their careers.It's too bad that they didn't get another chance to work again.One can only imagine what those two can do onscreen now?

Born Innocent (1974 TV Movie)

Ms.Blair's first tv movie performance is her best!

[1 June 2003]

Linda Blair gives a chilling but pogient performance in this harsh,realistic look into the abusive world of juvenile justice.As "Chris Parker", she tries to flee from her abusive father and her drunken,irresponsible mother.But her running away only leads to her being unjustly placed in a girls reform school.Where she is abused and condemmed even further by the school's insane and dangerous students and by the insensitive and corrupt school officals(The main villian in this dramatic tale is Allyn Ann McClaire.Who plays the evil housemother:"Mrs.Emma Lasko").Ms.Blair's character goes from being a gentle,navie'and put upon young innocent to becoming a tough,violent young punk.Who distrusts and attacks anything that is phoney or authoritative.The most memorable but forgotten scene is Ms.Blair being raped by four perverse girls in the shower room with a brush handle.The scene has since been edited,due to the complaints from one girl's family.That she was raped in a similar manner.Despite the editing of this graphic scene."Born Innocent"is Linda Blair's best tv performance.