antony-1 Reviews

Poor Things (2023)

Arthouse child porn

[1/10 · 7 March 2024]

I have watched all the Oscar 2024 best picture nominations and this is the only one I couldn't make it through. It turned my stomach.

Let's start with the fact the lead character commits suicide and a man decides to reanimate her. Equality has been a topic that I thought we'd made progress on in recent years, but here we have a woman not even allowed to die as a man has to interfere in that process.

But I could have gotten over that.

If it were spun into a positive story about embracing life, redemption, second chances the story could have won me over.

What won't win me over: paedophiles and kiddy sex.

Because as you soon learn, it's actually a baby's brain in the adult body.

Oh how we laughed how a child dealt with an adult body and started pleasuring itself. Much lols.

Or the assistant who knows it's a child but wants to marry and have sex with the baby, bravo.

The lawyer may not know the full story, but is clearly happy to have sex with what is clearly a mentally impaired person. The child's "father" decides to lend her out for sex like paedophiles do.

When the child says to the grown man "Lie down on top of me and do more furious jumping" the childlike innocence contrasting with the sexual acts - and her not fully understanding what they are - was the end of it for me.

I don't understand how this stands as a piece of cinema and one that is nominated too.

If it's some lesson about the ugliness of men then it's gone too far in its aims, and its colourful, creative setting just undermines that.

Slow Horses (2022– )

Dull, puerile, not very British

[3/10 · 3 February 2024]

It seems to have a UK team behind it, but the whole thing doesn't feel very British. It feels like something British created for a US audience.

It attempts to have the sharp tongue of a Brit, but just comes across as high school taunting more than anything. Every sentence must be a pun, but it's never funny.

It's puerile, relying on fart jokes. It wasn't funny the first time let alone the fifth.

It seems to lack any teeth. At some points it seems to be a wacky comedy - see the lead River sparring with an enemy in episode one. I couldn't work out if it was a parody or not. But for serious topics like bombings and beheadings, it comes across as silly and lacks any gravity.

The acting is pretty bad too at many of the guest actors, and just witness the comedy club scene for acting absurdity. It felt like an episode of Eastenders.

Witty writing, the Brits can do. Withering dialogue, the Brits can do. Spy dramas, the Brits can do. This does not stand up as a good example of any of them. It comes across as what Americans think we could do.

The Trust: A Game of Greed (2024– )

Get over your initial revulsion, and it's really a quite good look into power dynamics

[8/10 · 20 January 2024]

This show is as well as being an interesting reality format an insight into the self belief that some people have that the world owes them something. And often that is through victimhood.

As a format, the show is intriguing. Clearly riding on the Traitors, but in some ways I find this more interesting as power is very asymmetrical and can be wielded at any time. When it should be wielded, how it should be wielded, who you trust with your decision-making all play a part. The producers are really good at introducing games too which then upset the dynamics, or force things to be revealed and upset the applecart.

As a format to look into power dynamics, it's very intersting and quite addictive.

The contestants, well where to start. This is what will drag down the score for many. I am very curious as to why the producers clearly went for a gender dynamic that has really toxic women, and really quite nice men. They seem to have gone out of their way to get dynamic, to the point where the men come across as unrealistically reasonable, and modern and caring and every woman has an issue. That has to be deliberate.

What worries me is that it will fuel misogyny as it shows a really skewed dynamic between genders.

But we have people like Tolú who weaponises racial matters. She says being African is her identity, wears African colours, wears earings in the shape of Africa, wears a neckale in the shape of Africa that says "Africa" then bullies someone she reduces to "a straight white man" into submission because he referred to her by calling her African.

Lindsay who is what I suspect Americans would call a Karen. Her hostility, her tone, is toxic. She shouts even at the camera. Shouting is her one level and you can imagine you'd park too close to her car and she'd rant at you for 20 minutes. You know the energy from her straight away.

Julie who basically says because she had a tough time in life can basically do whatever she wants because she deserves it and others don't. It's scary seeing the self-justification that goes on to be cruel to others.

And it goes on.

But there are interesting nuances. I find myself at times like Tolú despite her very toxic way at keeping everyone in line through fear. Julie as time goes on you get to understand a bit more, and the dynamics that she's torn between. Nothing is truly black and white and seeing the other contestants grapple with these dynamics is what makes it interesting.

I wish they had a slightly balanced the cast a bit more and not had all the guys as ultra-nice and most of the women as toxic, as that to me will just encourage anti-feminist and misogynistic views.

But I'd say give it a proper go. Episode 3 I think is the low point as the toxcity is at full strength and it's hard to find a way to like these people or the show. But once over that hump, the dynamics get way more nuanced and interesting.

And you may even find yourself kind of liking someone you didn't like just an episode a go.

Nightmare Alley (2021)

Beautiful but fragmented

[7/10 · 18 November 2023]

A quick review from me. I wasn't going to review but but when I see people saying it's slow, boring, bloated... I feel it's unfair. This film was quite good, had something to say... the problem is, it wasn't sure what it was.

When I got to the end and saw it's from a book it all made sense. This feels like a story that was too short, not too long. If it were a mini series I think it could have done great things and really fleshed out its themes.

But as it stands, it felt fragmented. I'm not sure what the core story was that it wanted to tell. There was too many situations, too many characters and mini arcs and incidents. I could point to a couple of people or story elements that if you removed them the film would be no worse off, and perhaps even tighter - and that's where it feels unfocused.

Beautifully shot, and very evocative of the times it portrays. Particularly around the carnivals. I enjoyed it, but felt it could have been more.

Scary Movie V (2013)

Not as bad as it's rated, but not great

[5/10 · 14 July 2023]

We had a movie marathon and watched Scary Movies 3, 4 and 5 in a week.

This was definitely the weakest. It felt flat. There were moments that should have been funny but just didn't land and I wonder if that was the direction. Some of the acting wasn't great too, from both the actual actors and the cameos.

It held my interest, it was generally entertaining. A few laughs. It's not as terrible as people make out. But certainly watching it on streaming probably makes a difference - if I'd paid for cinema tickets I would be perhaps less forgiving.

The weird thing is the outtakes were funny. The cast were clearly having a blast. So it's weird that the movie felt so low energy.

Watch if you are bored, but have low expectations.

For All Mankind: Nixon's Women (2019) Season 1, Episode 3

Life imitates art

[5/10 · 5 July 2023]

Don't people see the irony on this one?

The whole episode is about American men getting caught up in what makes a sexy poster child for space travel.

Blonde and sexy, no ugly women etc. It's a comment on the time.

Then at the last moment they make you think that they killed the pretty blonde white woman.

GOTCHA!

Don't worry, it's onnnnlyy Patty. We fooled you didn't we? Then out of the flames, we can go "Oh thank god it was only Patty, the woman of Asian* heritage not our important white blonde lead."

*I assume Asian heritage.

Sixty two more characters are needed for the IMDb machine. Thanks.

Easy-Bake Battle (2022– )

More Netflix drivel

[1/10 · 24 May 2023]

I thought they were going to demonstrate some quick dishes to make.

Instead it's more reality show drivel. Five minutes in and we've already had pictures of kids, whining about how they have so many children etc. I don't care. Oh and one piece of food was one cooked for a FOOTBALL PLAYER apparently. Yes footballers eat!

We're having discussions on people's hair and very little focus on the cooking so heavens forbid you might be able to do it yourself at home.

And when they do focus on the cooking, they discuss "hacks" such as pre-chopped onions. That's hacking absolutely noting, it's using a prepared ingredient as an ingredient. Frozen spinach, you're hacking nothing, it's a prepared ingredient. Cooking potatoes in a microwave you're hacking nothing, you're cooking with a cooker it's the entire purpose of it!

Why must TV be so brainless?

Sharper (2023)

Wild Things for 2023... marred by Apple

[6/10 · 19 May 2023]

Stylishly, very good. An enjoyable romp. But also far fetched. The plot "twists" are seen a million miles off. We've seen this before in everything from the unloved "Best Laid Plans" in 1999, to "Wild Things" in 1998 and I'm sure many movies since.

That's not to say the film is without merit. While you're on the ride it's enjoyable, but it's only when you get to the end and after you predicted the twists you go "Wait, that bit doesn't make sense..."

I also have to complain a bit about Apple. You have the film, with some wonderful soundtrack choices. The movie ends with the inimitable late Nina Simone...and you choose to cut off her song with a trailer for another show.

Don't be Netflix, Apple. Respect your works. If someone has put in the effort to watch a movie then at least them see and hear it out.

Tetris (2023)

It started off so well!

[6/10 · 10 May 2023]

It started off so well!

I really enjoyed it at the start. It was going to be an irreverent look at the launch of Tetris. Nothing too serious, a fun take on a real life situation.

I was also loving the style and video game elements woven into the movie. Everything initally was spot on.

Then it got into the 'story' and went downhill.

Firstly, just the sterotyping of Russia and the elements of the US coming in and eductating them and winning them over is kind of tedious. And it's also here where the style really grates. Because is it a comedy? No. Is it a serious drama? No. Is it a parody? Possibly. And a huge part of this problem is Igor Grabuzov. I saw him in another show, Stonehouse, and it's rare that I take so negatively to an actor but he's just like something out of Allo Allo. He's utterly impossible to take seriously in any way, so absurd that he snaps you out of any narrative.

The core story is also boring contract negotiations. It gets tedious quickly of this contract covers this region for this this rights unless you have this contract, which covers this region and... snore. I actually like business stuff and some of that details, but even I lost my patience with the tedium. It tries to create capers out of very boring materials.

And look at the characters with an objective view at about 1hr 40mins and they are like they are all high on some drugs over this game called Tetris.

It's not without any merit. I didn't know the story and I didn't know the Maxwells were involved, which for the British is an interesting part of our history. But I can't get over the overiding feeling that this is a story of the US dealing with the Russian savages.

Beef (2023– )

Some good elements give way to lunacy

[5/10 · 8 May 2023]

I had high hopes for this. It was a slow burn at the start but setup some interesting dynamics.

Sadly, it then just devolved into well... I don't know. Everything Everywhere All at Once for the TV. I'm being facetious, I mean more that it's a story in a million places and the writers don't know what it is.

Is it black comedy? Drama? Soap opera? Fantasy? All of the above, all at the same time. But not in a way that makes sense.

Characters come and go, story arcs are bent out of shape. It feels like someone made a TV show not knowing what the final picture was like. It's loads of things bolted together into a show. It works on contrivances and situations that push what are some quite interesting characters with some good actors into absurdity.

They don't build up certain characters and situations enough to then justify the outcomes. They don't build up tension going from lazy flashbacks to then high drama and expecting you to care. The core premise of the story - a road rage incident - feels forgotten by the end of the season, like a nugget of an idea that the show couldn't be bothered to really flesh out.

I love seeing a primarily Asian cast and I love some of what it tries to achieve. Unfortunately it feels like a mélange of characters and situations smashed together into almost at times a dream-like situation.

Sherwood (II) (2022– )

Tries to grab too many story strands and fails

[6/10 · 29 December 2022]

This is a show with so many ideas - and most of them quite good. However integrating them is ultimately its downfall.

The back drop of the miner's strikes is excellent and the damage inflicted on our towsn from government policy and dodgy policing.

The concept of an embedded police offer staying also intriguing.

The main murder story of someone mysteriously shot with an arrow also good.

And the story of a man who was upset at his life being disrupted by his son's new wife.

But the trouble is how do they all fit together? Well, they don't really.

You'll be forgiven for thinking was the story of the man, his son and his wife even necessary. Did it have any impact on the wider narrative? I can't think of any. It just was solved and dropped and that was that.

There was also far too many coincidences and deus ex machina. Just running into an ex-girlfriend by chance. That two murderers happened to stumble upon each other in all of the huge forest. That someone randonly sends a picture of the required phnoe numbers. These contrivances distract from the story.

It started off so well. The cast is decent. Its problem is it tried to grab at too many story strands and came away with mostly nothing.

Escape Room (I) (2019)

A fun, well produced addition to the genre

[7/10 · 11 December 2022]

Follows on from all those sorts of movies we love. The Cube, Final Destination and any movie where people are thrown together in a mysterious situation in peril.

And this was a fun, well-produced addition to the genre.

I think the set designs are what really sets this apart - clever, detailed, immersive and a lot of attention to detail.

Does it do anything dramatically new? Of course not. It takes what's been before and adds its own take while capitalising in the explosion (no pun intended) on escape rooms.

A fun ride. Setting up for future outings with a building narrative, which I would certainly watch.

Will I remember this as a great in five years time? No. But it's a fun ride.

The Crown: The System (2022) Season 5, Episode 2

Jonathan Pryce makes me quite angry

[4/10 · 16 November 2022]

As an episode of the Crown it was okay, but by far not the best - slow in places and full of exposition.

What makes me quite angry is Jonathan Pryce. We see so many actors that have studied their subject and embodied it. Across the board, you can see the effort they have put in. Princess Diana is quite remarkable, albeit channeling the BBC interview a little too much in every scence. The queen isn't quite right, but the voice and cadence is spot on. They have studied.

Jonathan Pryce snaps me out of the universe they are creating. He plays... Jonathan Pryce. He hasn't put the slightest effort into being Price Philip.

And I can almost imagine him saying "I'm not an impressionist, I'm actor. I act."

And he acts as he normally does.

I feel it's massively disrespetful to the fellow actors who have put in an effort.

Black Bird (2022)

Turgid and complicated, I saw it through but without conviction

[6/10 · 12 September 2022]

Overall it held my interest enough to see it through, but barely.

It was a show with so many ideas, and it grabbed at all of them and didn't really get any of them. Flashback show? Daddy drama? Prison-life commentary? Bribery story - soon forgot. Mistaken identity? For about 10 minutes. A whodunnit? Yes all of the above.

Probably its biggest crime was the trite wrap up. It was a show desperately trying to convince you it was mysterious and unpredictable, but you kind of ended up where you knew where you'd end up. And in a hurried and trite wrap up a show that went from "based upon a true story" (which is code for: loosely inspired and barely recognisable) to oh yes honestly this was allll true.

And they all lived happily ever after? Well, one of the criminals at least?

This Is MY House: Clare's House (2021) Season 1, Episode 5

Amateur acting award goes to...

[7/10 · 25 August 2022]

I'm writing this before I see the result, so I can post spoiler-free.

But I just have to say Clare 1 is Am-Dram to the max - channelling the Freak from Wentworth along with what she perceives as 'countryside improv' mixed with the latest Verisure ad. The crying was particularly funny.

I think the real one is obvious as usual, but at least the red herrings are fun and offer different spin and some food for thought.

This Is MY House: Mitch's House (2021) Season 1, Episode 4

Weak

[5/10 · 23 August 2022]

The real Mitch was so so obvious that all the celebrities trying to make it sound tense fell flat.

But still a fun show.

Fun. Show. Show is fun. 150 characters yet?

Bullsh*t: The Game Show (2022)

Potential concept, far too longwinded

[3/10 · 24 June 2022]

8.30 minutes in and they've covered one question.

It's padded out with reaction shots and waffle. And like most American shows on Netflix it has to have lots of screaming and whooing.

They even explained what they need to do mere minutes after they just did it. Do they really need to be told again?

Cut it down and you might have a good concept there.

Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)

A yawn fest

[3/10 · 18 June 2022]

First up: I'm not a mega Star Wars fan. I enjoy it, have watched the movies and the recent series.

That places me bang in the middle of knowing the universe and caring, but not having the feeling that my childhood is being ruined. (I've gone through that with Star Trek, it's not fun.)

And I have enjoyed Mandalorian and Book of Boba Fett so far.

But Kenobi I was quite excited about, being someone who started my Star Wars viewing in the new trilogy.

Sadly this just feels like a pointless, boring... well pointless series. Pointless is the word that springs to mind over and over again.

The major problem is that all the major characters in it, we know where they end up. Darth won't die. Ben won't die. Leia won't die. So it's just moving chess pieces around a board pointlessly.

I was hoping you'd seen Ben in exile, doing exile-y things (apart from a food production line). Just imagine they new stories they could have gold of anything of their choosing in this era.

Instead they seem to have put him right back into the centre of the story with the same core characters like no other story could possibly exist.

They took a core character and instead of expanding him and giving him life and story that was never achieved in the movies... they just did more of the same.

Even at six parts, I couldn't see it through. I know how ends, so what's the point?

Is It Cake? (2022– )

Should be called "are you deaf?"

[2/10 · 5 June 2022]

If you weren't deaf then you'd wish you were. People shouting. Shouting about everything. Clapping. Whooping. High fiving. And of course the required appearance of "I've got this" or "you've got this" at least once a minute.

Turn around a display - clap. Choose a number - clap. Clap and shout, shout and clap. Eat a slice of cake cheer and clap.

And the host is one of the main annoyances is this regard. He just never stops.

Could have been a good concept, just unwatchable.

Perfect House, Secret Location (2022– )

Flawed concept

[4/10 · 23 March 2022]

The show itself is okay... they are trying to add a new concept and I'm not sure it adds heaps of variation.

It would be more interesting if the locations were truly dispersed across the country - but appreciate you can't blindfold everyone for days on end.

The main issue is both of the first two shows they found a home the families loved - then they lost out on the purchase. If they are going through a filming process the houses need to be suspended form sale, because seeing two families utterly happy then the ending say "Oh by the way, they didn't get it" undermines watching for an hour.

Your Home Made Perfect: Andy and Esther (2019) Season 1, Episode 1

How did that cost £55k?

[7/10 · 7 January 2022]

I want to know how the finished product met the budget of £55k. Break it down, give us details! I find it highly far fetched. The project was almost 5 months!

Beyond that a fresh take on home renovation shows.

Promising Young Woman (2020)

A promising movie, but I have issues with its direction

[7/10 · 5 September 2021]

On the whole I think this is a really good movie. It has echoes of Falling Down, of someone who has just HAD ENOUGH.

And rightly so. The writer/director takes on a very serious topic and tackles it face on. So it's amazing that it is done so without feeling preachy or a lecture. Instead it leans into the utter absurdity of a system that is so stacked against women and lets that do the talking.

My issue is with the end parts of the film. And it troubles me in the same way that shows like 13 Reasons Why troubled me. And it's the glorification of suicide. And yes while she was actually killed in Promising Young Woman, but it has the same pathos. She went in to die. She could have just used the tape, but she chose to go there and planned for her death.

It's that American 'mic drop' (although I know the writer/director in this case is British!). The desire to have the last word. The carefully orchestrated 'gotcha'. Sirens wailing, the timed messages, all with an audience...

But it isn't like that. Suicide is lonely. Murder is lonely. That's it, finito. There's no last word. There's no crowds there to see your achievements. And I have issues with TV and movies that portray otherwise.

Never Surrender: A Galaxy Quest Documentary (2019)

A harmless look at a beloved film

[7/10 · 16 April 2021]

The documentary is a fun, harmless look at Galaxy Quest. It doesn't offer any huge revelations and there's not many truly memorable moments, but it's fun none the less.

It's certainly the little anecdotes that give the documentary its life, and most of those comments seem to relate to Alan Rickman and his sardonic humour.

There's also some interesting insight into the birth of the movie, change of directors and some mild disagreements with the studio.

For me the biggest opportunity lost was not having the cast together. Having seen other such documentaries - particularly when the original material succeeds so much from the cast chemistry - to not have any form of reunion is a shame. As it was it felt like lots of separate talking heads.

And while I appreciate you can't put everything into a documentary to completely ignore the late Robin Sachs (Sarris) just felt a glaring omission.

But back to the positives, the inclusion of fans really made the documentary and was a great nod to the movie. You end up with fans in a documentary about a show within a show's fans... it all gets very meta and is quite lovely.

Worth watching, it's warm and engaging - but sadly I fear largely forgettable too.

Rebecca (I) (2020)

A strong take on the themes of the book, but not without some issues

[8/10 · 24 January 2021]

I see that it averages 6 stars at the moment, which is unjust. I suspect without seeing the reviews that a lot of people will be comparing to the last movie (naturally) and Hitchcock has a fanatical following. And Hitchcock's movie is a brilliant, iconic movie. One of the best movies of all time.

But it was also very Hitchcock movie - his voice came through strong, the noir thriller very present.

With this remake I felt Daphne De Maurier's voice was heard more strongly than before.

Where it really excels is that claustrophobic feeling of Rebecca. A young nameless woman subsumed by Rebecca at every turn. Mrs Danvers is more nuanced too, less outright-crazy and more obsessive in this turn. Kristin Scott Thomas is a delight.

There are some issues that detract. The age gap between the lead actors is a real problem. For me part of the narrative is that it's a much older man taking a young, naïve woman as his wife. Here the ages are very close, and as such its loses a big dynamic.

The revelation and about turn of the main character is a bit too quick. And indeed Lily James was good but not quite as vulnerable as I feel she should be. Indeed she felt quite modern with a fire underneath, and I'm not sure it quite works in terms of the journey. I could do without a couple of lazy plot devices such as dreams and flashbacks to tell the story.

But all in all this is a very good adaptation. It doesn't tell a hugely different story to Hitchcock's, but it is different if you look closely and listen to the themes. It's well directed and effective, and Daphne De Maurier shines through and for that alone I applaud it. Judge the movie on its own merits.

Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020–2024)

Shrieky, shouty, without merit

[1/10 · 22 November 2020]

As a life long Trek fan I was up for some humour. Up for some animated humour.

What I got was just American nonsense. And all Trek is American, but this feels REALLY American. Like you're watching a load of teens at some party.

The characters scream and shout and shout and scream. That alone makes it unwatchable for me. There is one volume: 13.

But it's not even funny. At all. Not one joke.

Gene Roddenberry is spinning in his grave having his name on this.