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Reviews
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
13-yr old humor and pouting gets old fast
What could have been a top-billed success fails thanks to what feels like hundreds of grade school eeak jokes, 12-yr old innuendos and pouting enough to down our any accidental quality left in this roll of TP. Characters are poorly developed, at times they awkwardly occupy the screen where just as easily could have been a vase or a statue with exactly the same contribution to the dialog and development. The flow of the movie is choppy enough to leave you wondering what did actually happen 10 minutes ago to lead to the current scene. Chris Pine seems to be channeling William Shatner in another strike of the Kirk Curse. He's not funny, unless you're adolescent, than maybe a fart-joke level may have been met and you'll laugh.
Lethal Weapon (2016)
Fox...
Fox cutting the branch they're sitting on. How typical of anything bearing that name. They did not deserve C. Crawford.
The Tomorrow War (2021)
Future Pratt will have to have a serious conversation with himself
How can a movie be so full of explosive action and yet, at the same time, be so utterly silly, uninventive and boring? Well, this movie's creative team knows the secret. I doubt anyone from the future would have paid them to find out, though.
The Courier (2019)
William Moseley is a joke!
Did the director lose a bet and had to use William Moseley? Kid is a joke, who told him that he can act?
Trauma Center (2019)
Bruce Willis is aging FAST!
What a monumental fall, from an A-rated actor to this! Film is trying hard but Willis isn't helping. Did Willis lose a bet?
Bastille Day (2016)
Almost no French translations on Netflix
Some translation clown at Netflix thought it's a good idea to omit translating 90% of the French dialogs. What a joke!
The Boys (2019)
I had high hopes for this show
Alas, they were quashed. I imagine writers waking up and not being sure what was written the previous day... The show is slow, pointless, dragging it's feet like it'd rather be somewhere else. Me too, I went elsewhere to find fun, disappointed.
Stranger Things (2016)
Third season is a huge letdown
I don't want to include spoilers here, so there won't be any details on how I feel about the plot. However, acting is so far very shallow, without direction, painfully trying to revive the ghosts of the past but failing. Timing is abysmal, the story drags it's hobbled little feet like it's been mauled with an axe. After first episode I said "ok, we'll see..." Now, I'm having trouble finishing the second in two attempts. Oh boy, did this show really have to crash so sadly? MBB is trying so hard (and failing) that I feel embarrassed for her. What was a good match for the first season proves to be a failure in third - she-actress actually didn't "play" an empty-shell character, she IS empty and it shows.
Unicorn Store (2017)
Thank God for skip ahead button!
This movie is a 15-minute golden fish of a children's story that got caught in an interstellar supermassive black hole and got time dilated into an eternity whale with bad breath and badly mangled fins. It can't swim to move forward, it just floats there...forever and ever...into painful eternity without a blessing of an end.
A Quiet Place (2018)
Only good for a short story
Weak and hollow. I watched a whole movie in 15 minutes by fast-tapping the skip ahead button. I only watched about 5 minutes in real time. That way, this is an interesting short story. Absolutely not even closely enough material for a whole movie.
Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018)
Not too good, poor flow
The sad day has come! I was not impressed by this movie, not at all. Infantile dialogs, poor pacing, movie runs as if someone had a go at it with a cleaver. Cruise is showing his age, very much so. I'm pretty sure, IF there's one more of these in making, I'll wait until it hits Netflix, these are past prime time value.
Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)
Wow, high ratings NOT AT ALL justified
The movie is weak, story is basically infantile, even for a sci-fi. Acting borders sledding downhill in a shovel, towards a busy street. Jokes are abysmal and not funny. Action is transparent, weak and unconvincing. I REGRET paying for seeing it on iTunes! The best part of the movie are trailers, but, those are free. Therefore, choose wisely, grasshopper.
A Wrinkle in Time (2018)
Catastrophic trash
Is it possible to spend a pile of money to shoot a movie and have only an empty shell of an idea to show for it? To direct tired, spent actors as if they're playing parts in an 18th century 2-bit vaudeville act? To pace the story as if it was a rusted old church tower clock ticking over rust and missing teeth? To make a movie that would make the devil sell his soul just so he doesn't have to finish watching it? Sadly, now I know, it is possible.
Inherent Vice (2014)
A simple review
This movie wasn't made to be understood by everyone. And, for those that don't, I feel sorry.
Lost in Space (2018)
Trash, as much as almost all new shows are
Slow paced, riddled with inconsistencies, unappealing and underdeveloped characters, you name it, it's here. Watched 1.5 episodes and stopped. I have no intention of continuing. This coming form a die-hard Sci-Fi fan. I thought nothing could stop me from watching a Sci-Fi show, movie. Then I got an awakening. Modern day cinematography is quite capable of creating unwatchable trash which goes in lockstep with continuing dumbing down of American society.
Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017)
Trash, pure and simple
I can't add anything that hasn't already been said about this poor excuse for a movie. But I'm adding my one star in hope that helps someone else be smarter than me and skip this mess.
The Titan (2018)
I wanted to dig my eyes out with a rusty fork
These are 97 minutes I'll never get back. Movie is pointless, badly mis-paced, and leads nowhere. It feels so slow and off-pace that I had an impression director realized he's 20 minutes short so he extended every scene by a painfully long time, just to spend some minutes and reach the planned run time. Characters are under developed and then discarded liked old shoes. In the end, no points were made of messages delivered. I just as well could have been sitting in a pitch black soundproof room for 97 minutes and would have walked out with just as much fun had (possibly more). What a pitiful waste of time and money!
Murder on the Orient Express (2017)
Excellent movie, deserves high marks
I have not read the original. I don't think I needed to read it to appreciate the movie. The snobbery of some low rating reviews is painfully obvious. In this age of lightning fast communication and widely shared information, everyone's an "expert critic". All I saw a was a very good work, great acting. On a personal note, I need to start mentally derating the influence of negative reviews. There are too many critics and very little objectivity out there these days.
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
Meh
Redmayne needs to learn not to mumble into his chin, for Chrissake! Editor needs to learn not to push NOISE over actor's speech! Then, one MAY be able to follow the dialogue. I wish I had more to say but, truly, the movie itself is OK, it's the incessant hunt for the Redmayne's trailing voice that drains the viewer. On top of that, it's either the editor or the cinema engineer that needs to learn how to crank the light where it needs to be for a 3D experience. One or both forgot that and the movie, for me, was dull as if dipped into liquid drab, washed out and dull. Definitely NOT what I planned to give my money for, including the previous complaint about the sound. Story is on its own merit OK, but it had trouble staying desirable and entertaining after actors, lighting, editing took their toll.
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)
Horrendous movie, I may never see another Star Wars again
I really don't have to regurgitate the facts other negative reviewers have already written, it is ALL true! Plot is idiotic, characters are pale and uninspired, the camera work (live and CGI) is unimpressive, unconvincing. Director/production haven't even taken time to create all the puppets/characters they need, there's a staggering array of reused costumes in this production. Sad, very, very sad! Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher look like they should have stayed in a senior home where they live. Slow, uninterested, expressionless. The emo main villain looks like someone just told him he's grounded. There's not even a HINT of evil, even for a newbie dark Jedi. Greg Grunberg as a fighter pilot is an insult to all fighter pilots, real or imaginary. He looked like a headache from Heroes was still torturing him. Greg, the thing is called "tylenol". And lay off the hard stuff at least a day before shooting. The whole darn thing is a reboot of an already seen stuff, all of it, but with no quality and unconvincing. I deeply regret spending money on this POS! I may never see another SW movie again, especially if JJ Abrams comes anywhere near it! What a sad, sad waste of my time!
RocknRolla (2008)
Excellent movie!
Actually, this is the comment about the movie synopsis written by...someone at IMDb, I guess. This is one of the lamest, weakest synopses I've ever read! Not only does it NOT give due credit to this quality movie, it is plainly said - weak-minded and sad. You HAVE to see the movie to understand the gravity of my claim. Well, not because I need to prove my point, no need for that, but because it well deserves to be seen. It is a great movie with excellent pace, good dialog...a tasty piece of marvelous, sweet entertainment pie. It's no "Lock, Stock and Barrel" simply because it needs not be one, it stands out on it's own as a long lost cousin of it.
Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (1985)
A continuity issue and more...
When Maj. Rayner Fleming gets confronted about "who's she working for?" while on her way of the general's office, she places the clipboard, she was carrying out, on the meeting desk, and picks up the photos, turns around and serves up a confident retort to accusations. However, when she demonstratively leaves the room after picking up her hat, she "forgets" the clipboard on the meeting desk. The movie itself is a great little flick I enjoyed many times. Although acting isn't much to speak of, it surely fits well in the era when flick was shot. Some of the props are legendarily funny, the "computer" was a joke when this was shot. Right now, I let a loud roar of laughter when I see it. Still, in a twisted way, this is a "feel good" movie to me and I am sure I will be seeing it over and over again in the future.