rphb Reviews

Vacation (1983)

The answer to the question, what is the opposite of a comedy

[1/10 · 27 August 2022]

A comedy refers to a work that is funny, the opposite is something that is profoundly unfunny, while leaving us infuriated and unsatisfied.

The protagonist who is portrayed by Chevy Chase is a character that is stupid, not just because he makes mistakes, but because he never admits to his mistakes.

As a result he keeps making the situation worse and worse but he never gets punished for it and that is what leaves us so unsatisfied and infuriated at the end. Nothing is worse then a Karma Hudini.

There are many setups that seems promising, like a beautiful women that are way out of his league, which leads us to believe "she is diffidently up to something" the time his children got pot, the time he stole from the hotel and of course the climax where he takes a security guard, portrayed by an actual comedian (John Candy), rather then a talentless hack simply pretending to be one, yet never seeming to comprehend that a key component of humour is that it needs to be funny.

Now all of these setups if brought to their logical conclusions would have given us a satisfying experience.

The beautiful lady should have revealed her sinister agenda by tricking him out of a fortune, and of course her utter disgust for the man should have been revealed, he should have been stopped by the police for the pot and he should of course have been caught stealing.

But the worst was possibly the end.

While we had all been greatly disappointed in the hot girl plot not going anywhere, which made it like everything else in this film pointless. In the end when he took the security guard hostage by gunpoint and the police came storming, we were all on the edge of our seats thinking finally finally this infuriating person gets his just desert now we can see him being dragged away in chains.

But no, he got an out again I hope lots of people read this, because I am never going to get these 90 minutes back, but I hope I can save others from this travesty.

Of course we should have known, because Chevy Chase is hardly ever funny, but this takes it to an entirely new level of not funny, one in which we the audience are the but of the joke.

Constructing a hate sink like this character is okay, but that requires the film to also deliver a satisfying comeuppances, this is what everyone is waiting for. And this gave us nothing.

I am sorry I can't give it less then 1 star, this is honestly one of the worst films I have ever seen.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)

Kodename Nina all over again

[1/10 · 12 December 2013]

I don't know if can remember that movie http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107843/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 it was an American adaptation of a great French film Nikita http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100263/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

The story of these two films, and this one, compared to the original "Män som hatar kvinnor" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1132620/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 which any person who know Swedish would translate to "Men that hates women", but the title is not really the problem, the problem is, like it always is, that it gets so much worse.

I think the problem must be that American moviegoers simply cannot read, that subtitles are too complex or difficult for them to comprehend, because if it weren't they would not keep suffering travesties like this.

I have only seen this movie once, I don't want to see it again so I can give a detailed list of exactly where it fails, but I can mention a few.

The person that framed Mikael Blomkvist didn't really have a role in the real version, but the biggest problem by far, is that this version of Lisbet Salander is much too demure compared to the original. They completely removed the rape scene; it was barely hinted at here, that was a very important part of her characterization of why she neither trusts men nor the authorities, because this is what she have been a victim of since she was a little girl.

This movie fails utterly and completely compared to the real version, and if you have any like for this mockery, then you should try to see the real thing. That movie was great, this one is barely adequate on its own, and when we know what it is supposed to be, what it has the audacity to claim to be, it is nothing less then an abomination.

But I guess we shouldn't be surprised, as I said in the beginning it is codename Nina all over again. When will you ever learn not to mess with great foreign films, to just appreciate them as they are, instead of making forgeries of them, that are always inferior.

Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)

Redefines the word "bad"

[1/10 · 30 May 2010]

While both Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are normally vary good actors, nothing they could possible do could help save this awful attempt of a movie. The teaser makes you believe that this would be another classic like "True Lies" this is unfortunately very far from the case.

They work for competing intelligent agencies, but which? CSI and KGB, you would think that based on there ridiculously high level high-tech equipment, but both of them are Americans so it can't be that. Does the movie take place in an alternative reality where private companies' maintain the kind of critical defense structures that even adherents of a night-watcher state believe should be maintained by the government, we just don't know, we get no answer to it.

We know that they end up turning against whatever the hell it was they were working for and killing everyone in there and afterwards we see them being interviewed about it in a casual fashion.

Even had we gotten an explanation to all of these major plot holes, the movie itself is still nothing but one long tedious journey of unnecessary explosions and gunfights.

This is the kind of movie that makes you believe that it had been written by a bunch of retarded howler monkeys on crack, there is absolutely nothing positive to say about it, its as simple as that.

The Olsen Gang - Final Mission (1998)

A sad an pathetic attempt

[1/10 · 15 March 2009]

This movie should never have been made. All of the 13 Olsen-Banden films belong to the Danish movie treasure. All of them are good, some of them are great, but all of them are Classics. I say this; there are only thirteen Olsen-Banden film.

It is better to pretend that this mistake was never made, as it is nothing but a sad and pathetic attempt, to reanimate a series that ended gracefully a long time ago.

There is nothing more to say, while many of the old actors are still there, several of them died under recording, unfortunately this wasn't enough to stop this atrocity from being made.

Krøniken (2004–2007)

Krønikken, The Chronicle 1949 – 1972

[9/10 · 22 February 2009]

Krønikken starts were Matador, the immortal Danish TV classic, ended. While it does not reach Matador's level, it certainly is an important contribution that vividly describes the culture of the Danish society from the postwar period, to the beginning of the modem times.

Unlike Matador, Krønikken, (the Chronicle) takes place in Copenhagen, and not in a province town; therefore its focus is a little narrower, and it has more supporting characters that are only seen in a few episodes. Its primary focus is the capitalistic family, whose patriarch owns the radio, and later, TV factory Bella, but it also has a strong focus on the development of the Danish social democratic party. This is because, that the Social Democrat was the primary architect for the modem Danish welfare state, which was created in this period.

It is a story, but it describes the history of that period better, then mere facts ever could.

If you are interested in the Danish culture, then Krønikken, is a must see.