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stevcoll
Reviews
Captain Marvel (2019)
No Depth or Emotion
This is the first Marvel movie I can think of where it wasn't memorable, interesting, or funny. Samuel L Jackson couldn't save it. Brie Larson's character had zero depth.
The whole thing kind of reminds me of a Transformers movie. Lots of action and fancy visuals but I could fall asleep during most of it.
Game of Thrones: The Bells (2019)
Dexter-Like Progression
It's easy to be a critic, but I just can't even believe this is the same show from Season 1. GoT has lost all of its magic and mystique. I don't know if it's the lack of book material, or time pressure, or the writers trying to be too clever and appealing to the masses.
Since the Battle of Winterfell, the show has completely fallen apart. The well developed characters have all disintegrated and now make strange, nonsensical decisions:
Dany - Goes from being upset about losing another dragon and her adviser, to spontaneously murdering half a million citizens for no reason?
John Snow - Apparently his new role is just to agree with Dany and do nothing useful all episode. The way he just stood around during the massacre at King's Landing.
Tyrion - Such a huge disappointment. The old clever and cunning Tyrion who sent Janos Slynt to the wall and slapped his king nephew around like he was a trout- yeah he basically just screws up battle plans and makes grim faces.
Varys - This amazingly complex, mysterious character who's been around since the beginning of the series- killed off in about 5 minutes. No emotional impact whatsoever. Tyrion ratted him out? Uh ok sure thing show.
Golden Company - All that buildup for the them to be annihilated in about 10 seconds by the now invincible dragon.
Cersei - Let's take the most hated character on the show- the untouchable, political arch villain, who always gets away with murder and wins. After being one step ahead of her enemies for all these seasons, she has no tricks up her sleeve, and dies in the most unsatisfying way imaginable. No revenge, no justice, just a sobbing Cersei getting buried by rubble.
Jamie - Destined to kill his sister? Destined to take out the murderous, rampaging Dany? Nah, let's just have him get lost in the city, fight a pirate, then bleed out while being buried under rubble with Cersei.
Dragon - Now invulnerable to scorpions. Completely wrecked any feeling of tension in the battle. What are the stakes? Within about one minute it was clear Dany couldn't lose this battle. Like playing God mode in a video game, it's fun for a few minutes but ultimately ruins the entire experience.
Grey Worm - Just randomly decides to genocide the entire city with Dany.
Euron - Wow how convenient to run into Jamie after jumping off your ship. What a weird battle sequence with no realism or impact of any sort.
Arya - Uh yeah last episode she took out the Night King like it was sparring practice. Now she just randomly runs around and gets crushed by rubble. Leads a few people to their deaths, and apparently dies herself about 10 times, but the plot armor is too powerful.
Who would have thought this beloved show would turn into Transformers? All effects and tricks, no substance.
Futurama: Bender's Game (2008)
Poor, Lazy Writing..
This movie series started off just "OK" with "Bender's Big Score", then I felt a little hope seeing "Beast With a Billion Backs"..
Sadly however, "Bender's Game" and "Into The Wild Green Yonder" are both in-cohesive, boring, and generally consist of the kind of lazy writing you wouldn't expect from a show like Futurama.
One of the biggest problems is certainly trying to produce a full-length movie out of a 20-minute cartoon. It became very clear to me that the writers lost interest and/or didn't have enough quality content to make these films, and the movies suffered big time.
As some other people mentioned, there was way too much crude and sexual humor that just didn't fit the series. The references to Lord of the Rings and Star Wars weren't at all funny or entertaining.. Just more lazy writing.
Ultimately, this film was barely worth the time it took to watch it. I was actually falling asleep during this movie and "Into The Wild Green Yonder". Drawn out drivel..
Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder (2009)
Poor, Poor, Lazy, Writing..
I gave this film an even worse rating than "Bender's Game", although they were both absolutely terrible.
I asked myself the question "was that film worth sitting through?" and honestly had to answer "NO" to both "Bender's Game" and "Into The Wild Green Yonder". The ONLY half-decent part of this movie was at the end, by which time it was far too late anyway.
It's clear to me that trying to turn Futurama into four full-length movies was a really stupid idea, and it shows. The writing was entirely over-the-top in the first movie, and by the third and fourth movie I was falling asleep and trying to figure out if I even cared about the various plots.
Futurama the TV series was always "fresh", not just overusing the character stereotypes that developed. However in the films, you get the same drivel thrown at you time after time. In "Bender's Game" all I can even remember was "Mom" slapping her kids the entire movie (yeah that got old pretty quickly). In this one it was a confusing maze of a plot that I just couldn't make myself care about.. This is not the same show I watched so fondly years ago.
Futurama: Bender's Big Score (2007)
Not Very Good News Everyone..
I saw "Bender's Big Score" after having just watched all the old seasons, so they were fresh in my head. Unfortunately, the film had some serious issues that kept it from achieving its true potential:
1) Way Too "Over The Top"
The phrase "if it's not broken don't fix it" comes to mind. Futurama had its own hilarious brand of humor and intelligent writing. With this film, I immediately sensed that the writers were going the direction of The Matrix 2/3 or Pirates 3, where it seemed the only thing that mattered was "making the movie more epic" at the expense of the plot and quality entertainment.
The beginning of this movie was by far the worst. Things were kicked up about 10 notches too far and it wasn't pretty.. it was like all the characters went on an energy drink binge before "filming". My friend and I looked at each other in disbelief as Leela asked, "What about all our fans?" before a bunch of actual fans started blowing behind her.. seriously??? This is the same show that spoofed Elton John as the Pharoah's musical entertainment at his funeral.. Now that's humorous!! (as Zoidberg would say). There was certainly no hearty laughter resulting from watching this movie..
2) Writing and Plot
The storyline itself is poorly written, as if they were trying to cram every possible minor character, location, and subplot from every episode ever made into this one film. This creates some very shallow and pointless situations.
Brannigan for example is on screen for about 30 seconds, and says nothing funny at all. Oh wait I'm sorry.. He told Kif to "cover his knees because they're cold". Wow, that's some real comedic genius there writers...
SantaBot appears in the worse cameo of all, having an absolutely senseless role and to make things worse, performing in what's sure to be known as the worst song ever produced on Futurama to date.
The Leela/Fry/Lars storyline is irritating and shallow, and in my opinion the whole Leela/Fry thing has been extremely overused. It's dull material. Nobody cares that Leela is still trying to find love for the 400th episode and has found another shallow moron, and nobody cares that Fry is still whining about not having her.
The Fry/Whale subplot was really dumb and silly as well. Apparently the writers thought they could replicate some of the magic from "Jurassic Bark" (and honestly aside from the ending I wasn't a huge fan of that one..) But you can't pull the same trick twice, come on writers do something original.
I actually liked the alien/scam plot as it was fairly original. Of course everyone including Bender and the professor falling for the phishing scam was certainly ridiculous and too over-the-top.
Bender (as usual) is the highlight of the movie. I enjoyed watching him say those numbers and then jumping into the time portal. His humor wasn't as sharp as in old episodes, but it was funny to see him being completely obedient to those aliens for most of the movie.
Finally, the ending was not too bad. Seeing Hermes control all the spaceships with the music was a cool part, but Lars turning out to be Fry was silly.. Apparently Leela is going to continue her stupidity with dating any other guy in the universe but Fry (unless it's an older Fry.) So silly and dumb at this point...
3) Voice Acting
Usually a high point of this series, some of it was way off. Zoidberg practically has a new voice (very muffled.. I didn't like it). Scruffy and Elzar also sounded strange. Come on voice-actors at least review the old episodes and don't just make up a new voice! Lazy!
4) SONGS
WOW were they terrible! The one with SantaBot was absolute trash. I was never much for songs in animated series (the robot devil song was OK), but the songs in this movie are an embarrassment.
Overall, a big disappointment compared to the show itself. People certainly overrated it because they were "excited that Futurama was back". I certainly hope the other movies are a large improvement.
Law Abiding Citizen (2009)
Great Movie, Terrible Ending
This movie reminded me exactly of The Jackal. A badass, brilliant bad guy who's so awesome you're rooting for him the whole movie, and then at the end they pull a typical "Hollywood" on you and he goes down so Richard Gere (or Jamie Foxx) can "win the day".. Arrrrgh. They should have stuck with the revenge and justice momentum that was building throughout the entire movie.
I had this bad feeling in my stomach as soon as Jamie Foxx started getting a conscience. The movie would have been so much better if we all "thought" Jamie Foxx was going to win in the end, but he fell into the evil genius's ultimate trap. Would have given it 9 stars instead of 7.
With that being said, I actually thought Jamie Foxx was going to shoot him and didn't see the bomb thing coming, which was a clever twist. The funny thing about this movie and the Jackal is that no matter how many times I watch them, I still keep hoping the bad guy will somehow win in the end. Well, better Jamie Foxx than Richard Gere (yuck!).