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Reviews
Attack the Block (2011)
A bad movie from EVERY angle
I just cannot comprehend how you enjoy this. First and foremost, you are supposed to be rooting for a group of bad guys. Not bad guys turned good, but uneducated young teenagers that represent the embarrassing hole in British society. First scene, they mug an innocent nurse.
And it never gets better. There are some other bad guys who you kind of like more, until you find that actually, they're pretty darn hard to sympathise with too. You can't side with the police, as the film portrays them as the cliché "above the law" bad cops, and Nick Frost is a sleazy drug dealer with no emotion... to be honest, I was rooting for the aliens.
Technically, the film was appalling. Aside from the horrific amount of clichés, lengthy repetitiveness and bad acting, or possibly the slow motion scenes shoved in at moments less epic than a can of tuna, there was absolutely no soul to this movie. Nothing. Unless you like 1.5 hours of the same setting, same plot and same characters doing the same things, coming out with the same slang, must I go on?
OK I will. The characters are horrendously undeveloped, the aliens have next to no back story (They're black. Why? Oh... so it was for the soul purpose of setting up a racial gag), Nick Frost, as mentioned before, has an appalling character, The aliens aren't scary, there is no message conveyed, the deaths are so unintuitive that they were almost friendly and the movie is pretty much going nowhere for the most part.
The ending is predictable and rotten.
Its just bad film making. And that isn't down to opinion.
Save your money.
Miss March (2009)
Stupid, Moronic, Brilliant.
I think that this movie is a perfect example of the weaknesses of IMDb. You get too many people of the wrong mindset reviewing this movie. Being a huge fan of Youtube's "The Whitest Kids U' Know", I found the humour in this movie spot on. It is MEANT to be completely over the top (with some real cringy bits). Its just what they do, and to be honest, not many could do it better.
Yes, this film may not deserve a reputation for anything other than just another Teen movie, but in my books its darn good, and more than anything else, it made me feel a lot happier inside. Is that a bad thing?
Basically, if you are someone who is going to watch this movie without being able to handle sick, crude jokes, then why review it? it isn't for you. That's quite simple.
So in the words of Tucker himself, I would rate this film "A perfect seven".
The Last Exorcism (2010)
Just so very typically disappointing.
I am not going to sit here and express my hate for this movie with CAPS and Exclamtion marks. All i will say is that Horror movies are a lot less common than other genres, as it is very challenging to make a good one. Well, in short, this isn't one. Its just bad. Imagine a comedy without a laugh. Or a RomCom without the female. Well this film is a horror and i am sure you can put two and two together.
The film starts in a promising mood, raising an interesting message about the cons churches can use to get their money. (this is where the 2 stars came from.) Then it just declines. further and further in you slowly realise this ship is never going to sail. It builds up and up... and up. And then finishes and dies with a laughable ending. I mean, did the film makers just.. run out of ideas? Budget? Time? Surely they have some excuse for what happened here.
And Logan? And the baby? Why?
This film isn't the worst i have ever seen (however it does come close), but it does have the worst plot i have ever seen. It makes Epic movie look like Inception. Imagine a stockpile of random ideas being thrown into a film by the girl in this film. There is some very convincing acting in this movie, but its all wasted. I'm done.
Skins (2007)
(Series one and two) The Best Teen Drama Ever to hit the screen.
First thing's first, any praise i put forward applies to the first cast, and the first cast only.
Skins is phenomenal- Channel 4 have really nailed it. The acting is superb from teen and adult, the storyline is absolutely amazing and it is not short of strong emotion towards the characters. At points in series 2 i was sat on my sofa with a tear in my eye (Chris and Jal?) and I'm a 16 year old boy. :) I think that the thing i really love about Skins is the fact that although there is a powerful main story line that can be very dark in places, they still fit in some very pure and original humour, that can have you in hysterics, depending on what floats your boat. Across the two series, there really wasn't much to pick up badly on. I wasn't impressed by the second last episode of season 2; i think it was a good decision but pulled off in entirely the wrong way. Apart from that however i really cant fault this drama.
Now that is out of the way, I think it is a crime to put series 3 and 4 under the same umbrella. It is not Skins. The mood changes from modern teenage culture to "lets repeatedly do drugs and beat people up". It completely ruined any message that was being originally portrayed. The acting was pants (especially on Effy's behalf), the storyline was disjointed and didn't follow any theme, many parts ripped off seasons 1 and 2, the cast was unoriginal, the humour was absolutely f****** dreadful and completely unfunny, and i felt completely insulted to have my image as a teenager portrayed like that.
Did i mention how bad the acting was? I also hate the fact that the sex, lesbians, drugs, parties, suicide, sex, emotions and sex that did make the first Skins amazing in the correct dosage have been crammed and overused in a vain attempt to achieve some sort of goal which to me is completely unclear.
Oh and the acting is awful.
Overall, Skins 1 and 2 is my favourite TV series. Ever. When it comes to 3 and 4, every episode made me want to punch someone and the sheer amount of failure that came with it is just overwhelming. Do Skins a favour and don't even attempt to watch this complete monstrosity.
Titanic (1997)
Nearing perfection
This movie is the greatest of its genre. I might almost dare say it is my favourite film. The casting is just spot on, the love story puts you through every emotion imaginable and the way the ending is portrayed is pure brilliance.
I did not cry in this movie, I'm a 17 year old guy. However i did come out feeling like i was mourning a loved one. This is the single most powerful movie I have ever been lucky enough to see, with nearly the whole of the first half making me smile with happiness and the second making me feel nothing but despair.
This film is revolutionary, and an absolute must see.
Wanted (2008)
Fast paced, brainless and awesome.
Is this film trying to give an underlying message? Does it leave a lot to the imagination of the audience, letting them infer and deduce along the way? Do you have to listen to key dialogue/ events? Of course the answer to all of the above is NO. This is kick ass from front to back and if you walk in knowing they're not trying to make a groundbreaking, epic movie then you will love it.
I adored the over the top action, stupidity and simplicity of this film. The cast works relatively well, the plot about on par with the cast, and all in all it has got to be one to watch even if you never view it again afterwards.
No Country for Old Men (2007)
Depressing, Slow and completely boring
I seriously think this is one of the most over rated films ever made. It isn't the fact that there is some underlying message i am not receiving, its just plain boring.
Murderer and a thief fight for some money, thief dies, wife dies, some cops and Mexicans die... and yet they managed to keep it unimaginably slow paced.
And then the end. Bad guy escapes, Sheriff (who really just doesn't help anyone at all) talks about a "symbolic" dream (which it isn't, its just pointless) END.
Why the heck did i actually just waste my time supporting this wreckage whilst it crawled to a quiet and completely unconvincing demise?
Shoot 'Em Up (2007)
Damn good movie.
When i watched this movie the first time, i loved it. The action is simply amazing, with some bits that included some light humour as well. I think Clive Owen's slightly grumpy, sarcastic acting is brilliant as always, along with the rest of the cast who also make this movie better.
However the reason i have rated this film an eight is because i watched it a second time, and everything suddenly seemed to go slower. The action i had seen before seemed to dwindle. I don't really know why, but if your planning on seeing this you should. As a first time movie it is pretty darn good.
Sin City (2005)
Mind Blowing.
Being a big fan of the perhaps out-of-the-ordinary works of Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller, i had to see this film. I hadn't actually heard of it being black and white, so that came as quite a shock to me- but it is used with just one other colour at a time to create a really nice effect that wouldn't be the same in full colour.
Normally i rate films a ten just to bring the average up if i think it is too low. However with this film i genuinely think that it deserves it. I think that the cast is one of the best ii have seen, especially Clive Owen and Bruce Willis. This combined with the over the top action, and complex storyline lead to one of the top 5 films i have seen in my entire life. This is a must-see.
The Departed (2006)
Compelling from beginning to end
You rarely sit and watch a film for 2 and a half hours without getting up to go get a drink, use the bathroom or just stop watching. With this film however, i was curled in the same position on my sofa all the way through. There isn't actually a single dull moment in it. The all-star cast has brilliant acting throughout, and the plot is one of the most complex and twisted i have seen.
The fact that people put 1 star ratings for this film is completely stupid. You cannot possibly even think to compare this with trash like Disaster Movie/ Troll 2. Its just impossible. Some people even put a 1 star out of spite because of the ending. I thought the ending to this film was the best i had seen in a long time. So if you are willing to sit through over 2 hours to get to it, (which i am certain you will), you should see what i mean.
Overall this film is nothing short of epic. Don't even think about giving it a miss.
Monsters vs. Aliens (2009)
What a let down
I walked into the cinema thinking that this film would be a decent movie- It wasn't a bad assumption, considering the great movies dreamworks have made previously like Shrek, Kung Fu Panda, even small soldiers. However after seeing the movie, i came out extremely disappointed. The film is basically something that you'll only sit and watch because you payed for it; and if you got a 2D ticket then all the worse- as the 3D addition basically makes this movie.
The jokes throughout the movie are pretty dumb and unfunny (i think i laughed at one maybe), with a lot of things that you've seen before in just too many movies. Bob the blue blob isn't that funny, the jokes you see in the trailer are pretty much all you get, and some of the things that happen in the movie are so utterly random that you think "Why the hell did they even do that?" It's pretty desperate- Just another tragic case of the film being more funny when it doesn't want to.
However i'm not going to completely wreck this movie. It did have its fair share of entertaining bits throughout; a lot of the kids seemed to find it funny... but they are easy to please. Normally a lot of kids film relate to kids and adults, with some humour that you can't believe got into a U-PG. However this movie is pretty much all empty, immature humour throughout.
Pity...