metalgear800 Reviews

Gen V (2023– )

The Boys for teens

[17 October 2023]

For some reason they made this show for teens. Because The Boys alone wasn't enough? I don't know. What I do know is that this show is not worth watching. The storyline is overly simplistic and boring, the characters are all stupid and annoying and there's just nothing that of quality really. I feel like they made this series on a drawing board, rather then from a good idea ro based on a comic or something. Step 1: brainstorming. Keywords: Teens, social media, relations ship, sex, teen drama stuff, parties, inclusion, etc. Step 2: Combine all those things in an overly simplistic script so that literally everyone can understand what's going on. Gen V was created with the sole purpose of creating quantity over quality. It's a pointless spin-off, not recommended.

The Boys (2019– )

It went downhill

[17 October 2023]

The first season started off great. Kind of hardcore but in a way that it would be usefull rather then just for shock effect. Unfortunately that goes out of the window starting with season 2. The characters become more boring and there doesn't really seem to be getting an end to the story. They drag it out too long.

Lots of things don't make any sense anymore. Like how Hue acts after his first murder and compare that to his second time. Or how someone like Maeve is more equally powerd to Homelander compared to certain others or even a group of them. There's no sensible balance.

These things are just ludicrous really.

Most characters got ruined because they dragged it out to long, the story went downhill as the seasons went by and the bromance gets annoying. I mean, does anyone still care about Frenchie of M. M.?

Probably most annoying of all is how the women seem to be competent while the white men are either just overemotional fools or egocentric morons.

I would rate this much higher if they managed to keep up the quality that season 1 has.

The Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023)

I just had to skip parts

[17 October 2023]

I hardly ever do this but I actually had to skip parts of this movie because it's just so bad. The crew is incredibly incompetent since they only seem to care about this bonus check. The only somewhat competent man seems to be the only black guy on board which is a joke in itself. So here we are at the beginning of the movie. It's the year 1897 and the captain pulls into port to seek some new competent crew members because for some reason they didn't bring them in the first place. Here he finds some men lined up and out of all of those there happens to be one black man who happens to be the only educated on and is a doctor no less. Let me remind you, it's the year 1897. Naturally, all the white men who all seem to be incompetent, including the captain himself, died first because Dracula is overwhelmingly strong, then the white girl died be it at her own hand and then the only black man survived because for some reason Dracula kept acting incompetent around him.

Furthermore, the movie is just so boring I couldn't stand it. They pretty much give the ending away right at the beginning and the only thing that's left to do is to watch how on by one they get picked off in a boring way. I kind of suspected this from reading the synopsis before watching but there's literally nothing interesting about this work of crap.

Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)

Swimming with smurfs

[20 April 2023]

After dancing with smurfs there's now swimming with smurfs. Although somewhat entertaining, it's not nearly as good as the first movie. It kind of makes you wonder why this movie was 13 years in the making! Especially considering it's mostly an empty shell with pretty visuals. Storywise it's greatly lacking and the dialogue is not original at all. There's a fair amount of cheesy moments. Overall, it doesn't bring anything really new. I mean, there's even (literally) recycled enemies for some reason... I guess most people appreciate the animation but honestly I expected it to look a bit better. Perhaps this was because of time it took to produce it which was perhaps a tad bit too long.

Still, it was a decent watch but it kind of reminds me of those old classic Disney movies. The first one is great and when a sequel comes out it's just some sort of continuation with the same main characters but of much lesser quality.

Skins (2007–2013)

Great but skip season 5 and 6

[19 April 2023]

Let me explain. Season 1 and 2 have the same characters and the the same goes for season 3 and 4 and season 5 and 6. After every two seasons the show sort-off begins anew.

Just like most others who have watched this series I will say the same thing. Skip season 5 and 6 because the quality is really bad and it doesn't have anything to do with any of the other seasons so you can just skip it and don't feel like you missed anything. Season 7 is just a follow up on some characters from the first 4 seasons. The fact that the producers didn't do a follow up on characters from season 5 and 6 kind of supports why people say you should skip those seasons.

Looking for Alaska (2019)

A hidden gem

[14 December 2022]

I had never heard of the novel before watching this series so I had know idea what to expect. In fact, I didn't even bother to read synopsis which is what I usually do. I was afraid it was going to be yet another typical high school drama series but far from it. I don't want to give anything away because this series just 'happened to me'. And I believe that's probably the best way to experience the story. Without giving anything away, it's a beautiful story about friendship, love and basically life in general. Coming of age and slice of life gets overtaken by more drama and it made me feel something.

The prank at the ending laid it on a little bit too thick but didn't ruin it.

Even though I'm not much of a reader I feel like I want start reading the book. I'll probably never do that but I'm sure I won't regret it if I would.

Wednesday (2022– )

That 'thing' that stole the show

[26 November 2022]

I grew up with the awful Addams family cartoon airing on Cartoon Network and never really liked it that much, except for the character Wednesday. The same goes for the movie from 1991. So having some reference material I feel somewhat conflicted about this series and that's got mainly to do with the main character. I liked Wednesday at the beginning of this series but that feeling went went averse the closer I got to the end of the first season. She just doesn't seem genuine... for an Addams. I won't give away any spoilers but her acts throughout the episodes are conflicting the character she pretends to be. Now she just seems a teenager with Asperger syndrome rather than being a psychopath. I get it you know. They wanted to give the character Wednesday a bit more depth in her personality since a TV series runs longer than a movie but doing it the way they did it, didn't work for me.

Speaking about characters. The other students at Nevermore Academy seem to be a bunch of dweebs and because of that I started to think who is this show for? I don't mind some teenage drama but this show is just filled with it in it's most simplistic form. Unfortunately it also includes the nowadays typical 'modern' inclusion propaganda that it could've gone without.

It's not all bad though. The main storyline was entertaining although it got a bit boring while nearing the ending. Some details just didn't seem to match up making it sloppy. For me the thing that I perhaps liked the most was... well... Thing. It's by far the most humorous thing of the series. He might only be part man(?), or whatever he is, but somehow his appearances always seem to work out for the better.

Also, according to the credits this is a Tim Burton's production but I didn't really notice much if anything of his influence. Perhaps he did the catering for the crew?

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)

Fanservice only, lacks everything else

[5 November 2022]

Boring story, stupid premise, terrible acting by hyperactieve actors, boring soundtrack, humor that's beyond cringe worthy, terrible fighting scènes, etc. I can't name a single good thing about this movie. One of the worst problems is that the sustained damage doesnt seem to have an impact on any of the characters. They just keep fighting until some sort of event occurs. All the Spider-Man movies suffer from this and it makes it unbelievable and boring. It completely relies on special effects for that. The entire movie is just fanservice for kids and teens. Other than it being low quality it leans heavily on trying way to hard on being "modern" by being hipster, hyperactive and multicultural. Also, the line "with great power comes great responsibility" worked really well in the first Spider-Man movie but it was just so terrible in this one.

The 2018 Multiverse movie gave me some hope for the future but I guess the Spider-Man franchise is just ruined ever since it has been acquired by Disney.

Flavors of Youth (2018)

Three short stories. One is worth it.

[13 July 2022]

Flavours of Youth consists of three separate stories about lessons learned from childhood. I only enjoyed the last one. The first one I didn't like at all while second one was passable. Skip the first two if you feel like it. Flavours of Youth was a little to poetic for me.

Lost in Space (2018–2021)

Season 1 is quite decent but then it went downhill

[3 March 2022]

Season 1 is quite decent but then it went downhill. The main problem with the first season was the annoying main character Will Robinson who seems to create problems just as much as solving them. This only becomes worse in the following seasons but these have many more problems. Mainly that they're boring, that the writing is just extremely poor and that all logic seems to have gone out of the window.

I would rate the seasons indivually as follows: Season 1: 7 Season 2: 4 Season 3: 3 It's not worth it to just watch the first season so I would recommend not watching this series altogether.

A Whisker Away (2020)

Decent anime movie

[27 January 2022]

Interesting premise but could've been a lot better. Girl likes dull boy but it's never really explained why which seems a fundamental part of this kind of plot. It didn't help me like the characters and the last part of the movie, about two third in, it just became more dull. Decent entertainment but nothing really memorable.

8-Bit Christmas (2021)

A Christmas Story meets The Goonies

[8 December 2021]

It tries to situate the setting in the 80's but completely fails doing so, pretty badly. The characters are cliche but that's alright, since that's kind of the point. It's just that they have no credibility at all. It all looks and feels to modern. Like a bunch of hipsters acting out like they're in the 80's but don't understand what that's actually like. The enforced girl power indoctrination was completely unnecessary and doesn't help much. It has a few nice jokes like that talking Nintendo and some other ones that reminded me of some classic 80's movies so it's sort of alright. Just nothing better than that.

Malignant (I) (2021)

Boooooring...

[14 November 2021]

Boring story, terrible acting, boring screenplay and the dialogue is just plain dumb. I'll give you some examples.

Girl goes talking to the police, minutes later realizes they might suspect her. She couldn't think of that before?

Cop goes chasing the culprit by himself which is against all protocols and is common knowledge. How did the detective even enter the appartment of the murdered doctor? Is he carrying keys of everyone in the city?

At the end of the movie Gabriel doesn't run away from one cop but instead attacks an enitre police station. So why run away for one detective first then? Makes absolutely no sense. Or what about the motive to attack the police station. To escape after getting into the evidence room for a coat, gloves and a homemade dagger. It's just beyond logic.

Especially the hypnosis scene was just laughably bad. Right before she she got out of the hypnosis I was just cringing.

Or what about the attack right after the introduction, where the police said they heard their neighbours screaming so came to check on the place. The neighbours aren't right next door as you can see in a later scene.

And what about the part with the abonded records. Am I supposed to believe that people just leave medical records behind for anyone to grab and that a hipster girl is going all alone to that building at night? Why did she even go at night?

The movie also doesn't explain why the main villain has so much physical strength.

Many things like this happen in the movie where I was jus baffled to see how plain stupid it all is. The last ten minutes of the movie were the most interesting but still barely acceptable. Perhaps the director should get back to the basics before trying to have fun with the camerawork.

I usually don't mention anything about the sounddesign in my reviews but this was just piss poor as well. Was it done by a teenage intern? Who knows.

Squid Game (2021– )

Entertaining but could've been better

[18 October 2021]

I like it, but I don't love it. I would've loved to love it though, since it had great potential. I like the plot and characters. The set dressing is pretty cool. Even the soundtrack is pretty nice. The fact that it's a Korean production just made it feel like something a bit more curious to me. But it had three predictable elements in its plot that made me like it and not love it. Without spoiling it, it involves the detective's missing brother, a certain player and the outcome of the game. Another point of criticism is that I found some games to be lacking a little punch. I would still recommend to watch this series if you're a fan of the genre since it is both entertaining and memorable.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post (2018)

Feels weak and empty

[2 October 2021]

Just like the title says this movie feels weak and empty. It's just kind of vague from start to finish and it never delivers on any aspect. The story doesn't seem to be going anywhere and feels incomplete.

Nightbooks (2021)

Interesting concept but executed poorly. Read the book instead.

[21 September 2021]

The concept is alright but executed poorly. Same goes for the cast. Why the witch is a cliche hipster I don't even know. Her acting is also terrible. She's mean for the sake of being mean. It's never really explained why exactly and she comes off as bitchy. Yasmin's (the black girl) attitude is not child like at all and comes off as overcompensating. Contradicting her personality she asks the boy for help at some point for something she could easily do herself which takes away credibility of her character further and the event is only there to build some sort of relationship. There never really is any kind of chemistry between the characters even though the subject of friendship seems to be one of the themes of this movie.

I only learned while watching the credits that the story is based on a book. Considering the poor execution of the movie I would read the book instead. The scene dressing is nice though...

As far as I'm considered this is a children's movie, unlike lot's of other reviewers complain about. If you think otherwise you need to grow a backbone. Remember Watership Down? Now that's debatable if that's a children's movie or not but not this film.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)

Entertaining but lacks...

[21 July 2021]

So this movie was entertaining but has a lot of cliche jumpscares and the real horror only lasts for a short while and doesn't convince that much. The problem is that the story lacks deeply. Such a shame because the first half of the movie was rather intriguing. That is because of the performance of an autopsy which leads to slowly unreaveling something. The ending is also quite lacking.

Labyrinth (1986)

Not worth it

[1 June 2021]

I don't have any nostalgic feelings toward this movie and I never liked the muppets. I suppose I should've let this movie left alone then but the review scores enticed me. The humor in this film is kind of like "hey look at me I'm doing something funny". Something you would come across often in the 80's and 90's. But fortunately no more, because I never really liked those kind of jokes. I understand Bowie is a favorite among fans but I thought it was alright. It's Jennifer Connily that really shines here in my opinion though. Her youthful look and charm makes up for some of the otherwise rubbish (not really an actual) muppet movie.

Planet of the Apes (2001)

Fun to watch but a bit silly at times

[15 February 2021]

I originally watched this movie as a kid and now many year later I watched it again. This movie has a great vibe to it and the story is fairly decent. However, the main protagonist is miscasted in my opinion and some events are also quite lacking. Like how easily an order from a superior officer is disregarded for silly selfish reasons putting himself at great risk. The same thing at the ending because there couldn't possibly be evenough fuel and oxygen left in that small vessel for the 'final trip'. The main battle was also a dissapointment because 'the plan' didn't make much sense, it didn't work, and choppy editing at times. As a child I felt it had more 'magic' to it but I can't blame this movie for me growing up. Still, because of the great vibe that it has and the excitement at times I still enjoyed watching it again.

Snowpiercer (2013)

Great fun

[11 February 2021]

This movie is great fun and the cinematography is excellent. At times it feels somewhat unrealistic but there's this certain excitement around it that makes up for it. The story is more about the underlaying message and if you combine that with the fun factor that this movie has, then you understand this is a movie you should watch. It's just the ending though that sets it back one point of my score.

Lady and the Tramp (2019)

Dumb, cheesy and pointless

[15 January 2021]

What is the purpose of making a remake if it's way worse in absolutely every way? The animation is atrocious, the voice acting is lousy and annoying and the writing is just terrible and utterly cheesy. Furthermore, this remake is politically correct garbage all the way. What's with the role hand-outs to black people? I mean, half the cast is black and the Lady's owners are a black and white couple. Is that supposed to be a truthful representation of the early 1900's (and the remake) which this movie is set in? I really wish Disney would just stop making garbage like this. It's kind of like when Kim Jong-un removed his uncle from all pictures he was in. It was supposed to be like he never existed but was obvious what had happened. This is kind of similar but worse. The pinnacle of this idiocy being that aunt Sarah criticizes Jim Dear for being a musician while his wife is a house keeper all the while they live in a rather nice house. Also, if there was one thing they should've changed it should've been those ridiculous names Jim Dear and Darling. This remake is just dumb, pointless and especially annoying to watch.

King of the Skies (2020)

Entertaining drama series

[14 November 2020]

This series follows Albert Plesman and Anthony Fokker starting at the pionieer days of aviation up until the start of WWII. It has a fairly decent storyline, decent cast (although I don't care for Daan Schuurmans who comes off as a bit annoying to me). I think it's a very interesting way to depict aviation history in a drama series like this even though it's not alway historically acurate and I kind of wish that it was more acurate. I don't get why they strayed from certain historical facts like the events involving Jan Plesman. The old 'real life' footage that is included in between some scenes is a nice touch though. The soundtrack sounds nice but doesn't really seem to fit the setting. It's probably not going to happen but I would like to see a second season starting at the beginning of WWII. The events during WWII and how the KLM immediately started to rebuild its network after the war up until Plesman's death should be more than enough content.

Heirs of the Night (2019– )

Better than I expected

[8 November 2020]

I don't really get the other reviews here but I for one thought this series has been entertaining so far. It started off quite good with a decent plot, interesting characters and in my opinion good acting. Some people say the acting is over the top but I don't see it that way at all. Others complain about the production value which seems rather silly to me as well. Then there are rants about it being a series for juveniles but guess what. This series is based on the book series which is aimed for a young audience! I only found out about the books after watching the first season though. Personally, I rather review this for what it is, rather than for what it isn't. The show is not without fault though. There's Nico's annoyingly bad acting - who seems to be the exception - and then there's the somewhat weak ending of the first season. Yes, there are certain events that don't seem to make much sense. But still... I expected a mediocre series but I got more than I expected so I am looking forward to season 2.

Locke & Key (2020–2022)

Missed opportunity

[1 October 2020]

I only read a few pages of the comic book years ago so I'm familiar with the concept ever since the first pilot came out in 2011. I enjoyed watching most of this series (season 1) but it has a lot of problems. First the good stuff. It's very House of Anubis like (I watched the original Belgian production) in the way that there's mysteries related to the house and it's up to the inhabitants to uncover those and combined with teenage drama. It's entertaining. However, because of many problems it's being held back. According to my knowledge this series is not much like the original comics. They took out all the horror elements. I read an article about why that is and it said that "it didn't work", referring to the two previous pilots. The article didn't go further into explaining things. If you ask me this is just another excuse to release a 'standard' production for a 'standard' audience. They had fantastic source material, being the comics, and like the Japanese do with manga they could've used that as a story board of some kind. The reason it didn't work with the horror/lovecraftian elements must've been that they wanted to create a Fox-like-series, meaning more family friendly. Even though fans explicitly exclaimed their dissatisfaction about that back in 2011 when the first pilot came out.

Common complaint is the writing, which I find decent at best. Other complaints include annoying and incapable characters who cannot seems to learn from previous events and retain that knowledge which is frustrating to watch. The melodrama seems to be typical modern American teenage soap opera and nothing really interesting is happening other then characters getting connected to other characters. Since they took out the horror it doesn't feel like this is what Locke & Key is supposed to be like. That destroys both important elements of the story. Why they chose writers that are known for soapy melodrama productions with sci-fi elements, that are very mediocre btw if you check the ratings, is beyond me.

I also didn't care much for the cast, except for Emilia/Kinsey. Or at least until she proposed her indecent promiscuous proposal (I won't give spoilers). Jackson/Bode is just plain annoying and can't express anything other than being hyper, while Connor/Tyler is just boring, which to be fair is more the writer's fault. Laysla/Dodge takes the crown though by putting down an absolute lousy performance.

This production was kind of doomed to fail from the start if you ask me. Let's hope season 2 doesn't try to please a general audience and gets some better writers.

The Haunting of Hill House (2018)

Dragged out horror soap opera

[29 September 2020]

It drags out too long, has too much boring dialogue and dull characters. Except for the child actors who are all great in my opinion. Michiel Huisman takes the crown of worst actor with lousy performance and his annoying accent. I don't get the L.A. setting since it doesn't fit this series at all. The first few episodes are downright boring but fortunately it picks itself up. I just wish it had a better adult cast and that the dialogue wasn't so dreadfully boring lots of times by making it feel like it's a soap opera.