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JayDano
Reviews
Willow (2022)
What a disappointment...
I so wanted this to be great... But it really feels like a group of highschoolers cosplaying and joking around, bringing out of retirement their parents' teenage movie heroes. I know it's fiction, in an imagined world, chocked full of magic and so on. But it would give it a more realistic tone if the language used was more sophisticated; if the character's behavior, attitude, manners... had been worked on more, instead of sounding and feeling like an angstsy teenager reading the script; if the wardrobe didn't include a couple of woodswomen wearing jeans and flannel; basically, if the original story had been treated with respect by Disney+ and they had spent more resources in making it better. I really don't want to blast any of the actors (well, one of them is terrible, but I'll let her be, she's young and has time to refine her skills), but Lucasfilm should have been more careful with how they handled their treasured Willow.
Andor (2022)
The best Star Wars since A New Hope
What can you say, but WOW! Wow, wow, wow!!! To be completely honest, I love Star Wars. Be it movies, series, comics, or what have you. I've even tolerated Jar Jar Binks, for crying out loud! But this. Andor. W-O-W. I have not been this enthralled with ANY Star Wars for years!!! Story, characters, buildup, suspense, action, everything! With this series, moreover, Diego Luna has risen to galactic stardom!
From the first episode, it is crystal clear that this is something different. The writers have taken their time (not too short, not too long), to appropriately build characters. Even those that initially seem inconsequential are properly built, and later on it makes total sense. If you were to watch single episodes, it would seem like a mashup of different unrelated stories. But every single story, every thread, is spun perfectly, creating a web of intrigues that explains so much in the entire Star Wars universe. As some other reviews mention, CGI and explosions are part of the background, they are not the story. Visually, this is a masterpiece. As for storytelling, one of the best examples seen in recent cinematic history.
Man... I think I'm gonna binge watch it again right now!!!
The Lost City (2022)
Worth it only for Brad Pitt and Daniel Radcliffe
Those 2 are great. Channing Tatum is funny alright. Sandra Bullock... It's a pity because with her (same as with Nicole Kidman and similar actresses and actors who have splurged on botox), I am able only to look at their terrible plastic surgeries... Their inmovable faces, their lack of expression, their unnaturally flat skin... She's always been funny, but when you try to crack a smile and only half of the bottom lip moves, or when the same face is used to express compassion, terror, grief, hilarity, comedy or anger, then it just kills the entire movie.
Apart from that, the plot is meh, the location is fantastic, the characters are full cliches with little development... At least it's not way too long.
If you don's have anything else to watch, I guess you can grab a bicycle and enjoy the good weather outside.
Knights of Badassdom (2013)
So awful it will become stuff of legend
This was the most fabulous, camp, B-series, straight-to-DVD, legendary piece of mushroom induced movie I've seen in a decade!
Two minutes longer and I would have had to unscrew my head and fry my brain, but it was the perfect length to wonder at how could this be green-lighted by some producer, starred by this -to be honest, really awesome actors- and chosen by me to watch it.
Loved it! Bring the effing popcorn!!!!!!
Les Misérables (2012)
That Oscar-winning performance...
Anne Hathaway singing "I Dreamed A Dream". Just for that scene alone this movie is worth watching (you will need to buy a box of tissues, or blame your allergies for the tears). Spectacular.
Marvel One-Shot: All Hail the King (2014)
Ben "the King" Kingsley
You can never praise Ben Kingsley enough. But he has reversed the stupidity of this role as the director of Iron Man 3 envisioned, and put out a magnificent and hilarious character. And thank God, this One Shot seems to be taking The Mandarin in the proper direction. Fantastic.
One Night in Bangkok (2020)
Direct-to-VHS attempt of Cruise's Collateral
I've always liked Dacascos (there go the 3 stars), probably not for his acting skills, but because I loved "Only the Strong" when I was young and was doing Capoeira myself. More of a... sentimental value. Here, he performs his usual "just OK". However, compared to the rest of the cast: give this man an Oscar! Let's appreciate their efforts, but I believe they should not quit their day jobs.
The direction and editing of the movie is a hit and miss: sometimes (few times) it keeps you engaged, sometimes (most times) you feel your mind wondering off to check how the fly in the window is doing... It's just not there. A movie that was trying to be a remake of "Collateral" makes you feel more like collateral damage happened to your brain when you decided to watch it.
I think the cinematography was an absolute fail. With nighttime Bangkok being simply spectacular, the movie manages to make you think it might have been shot in a boring neighborhood of L. A. On a Tuesday night. After a shootout. Post-zombie apocalypse.
Just watch it. Probably better than just death-scrolling through all your streaming platforms wondering what to watch. Or you can go outside and look at the grass grow.
Mortal Kombat (2021)
Mortally terrible
Hiroyuki Sanada is generally a good actor, but this is definitely not his best movie. The same can be said for Tadanobu Asano. The rest of the characters are played by the least convincing actors they could find in the industry. Add to this a terrible story, zero character development, mediocre fighting skills by most of the actors, and sub-zero (pun intended) special effects. The only great thing about this movie is how HBO has managed to trick us into watching it. Don't waste your time!