JackHammer69 Reviews

The Wonder Years (2021–2023)

Up to episode 8 and enjoying it

[7/10 · 11 July 2023]

There is an agenda in this show, yes. But it's delivered in such a way that they're not clobbering you over the head with it. If they were to make it realistic, the show would have been another HBO style R rated (or NC-17) drama/thriller. We've already seen "Them" and we get the point. Pretty sure anybody with a heart will never be able to watch that tragedy again.

I think the people who are really upset with this show are probably hardline Christians - and Aryan fanciers...

To me, this show contains some of the spirit of the original with its lessons, Dean's overly dramatic daydreams and some of the family dynamics. However, Bill Williams is just cool - he's no terrifying Jack Arnold 😂 Just a look from Jack scared the crud out of me when I was a kid.

The original show and this one contain some filler, but life contains a LOT of filler. It's good to chill out a bit while watching things.

Last Night in Soho (2021)

Great atmosphere

[6/10 · 11 May 2023]

Another reviewer said the first half was brilliant. I agree! It set the scene beautifully and started generating some dread almost immediately.

I felt for Eloise. She lost her Mum, was bullied by her fashion School cohort (largely in a passive-aggressive fashion though), then tormented by ghostly and demonic spectres... Not a fun time.

Her bullies fell by the wayside quickly and their bullying never really went anywhere. That was probably a blessing. Lots of tropes avoided.

My initial thought was "What if Sandie is her Mum - and she just got a hickie from her Dad?". That would've been very Targaryen. Thankfully that was not the case.

Her romance with John was pleasant, but pretty two-dimensional. There wasn't any time to develop it really. Some of the acting in here was meh.

The only twist I kinda saw coming was Sandie's true identity.

One thing I really REALLY didn't like - and took me right out of the movie when I heard it - was Anya's singing. 60s Pop does NOT sound good with this abhorrent modern Pop singing style that's gaining momentum for the past 15 years or so. Vocal fry, annoying vibrato, Indie Billie Eilish singing enunciation... Puke.

Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies (2023)

As a huge fan of Grease and Grease 2

[2/10 · 1 May 2023]

I'm not happy with this. Not that it matters.

Grease was awesome, Grease was cool, Grease was the word. Tough and funny T-Birds. All of the Pink Ladies had their own personalities, strengths, weaknesses etc. Ripper of a soundtrack.

Grease 2 was awesome in its own way. Completely different movies. Wimpier T-Birds, dumber Pink Ladies... But the spirit remained faithful to the original and the soundtrack was still excellent. Sure, the singing was subpar. But it was FUUUUUUUUUN.

Unfortunately modern people just don't know how human beings thought, acted and spoke back then. The further away we get from the time period, the more human beings lose touch with reality.

This soft-bellied prequel has taken everything about the 1950s and done a 180 on it.

People of 2023 - the world was harsh in many ways back then.

• People smoked cigarettes, A LOT
• Unless I'm mistaken, nerds usually didn't go out with popular people (at least until after High School)
• The Boomer generation was pummelled with anti-gay rhetoric, so it was pushed underground
• Only two genders were accepted
• There was segregation
• There wasn't abhorrent 2023 Pop Music

They should've used "Hairspray" as a template, instead of turning it into a retro version of Glee (PUKE). Hairspray touched upon the elitism and segregation of the time, without going into brutal detail - and still smashed out some killer tunes.

2023 people can have their own washed out rubbish. Give the old fans something to enjoy (we don't all enjoy this modern fantasy with plastic characters and all-encompassing compassion).

Elvis (2022)

I wasn't let down, because I knew it'd never meet my expectations

[5/10 · 4 December 2022]

I love Elvis. When we bought our first VCR (a Betamax), the first two movies my Mum bought were Jailhouse Rock and Loving You. I watched the hell out of them. Elvis basically formed my first impressions of what "cool" was.

Now to the movie. I imagine they used the Col. Parker angle because it hasn't been done before. But unfortunately it stole a lot of time away from the person we really wanted to see. And yes, I couldn't not see Tom Hanks unfortunately.

As for how Elvis looked in the movie, he looked how Elvis would have looked if he went the Wayne Newton route and went nuts with the fillers. Elvis' teeth weren't that neon white either.

But I liked Austin's performance. I think he did a great job with the moves, gestures and the voice.

Not a fan of Baz Luhrmann and his extravagant ravings.

One thing I cannot stress enough...

NEVER, EVER, put Hip Hop anywhere near the King, EVER AGAIN!! That was like throwing a mumbling t*rd into a delectable cornucopia of fresh cream-filled pastries. Hip Hop has no place near the King. No place at all.

Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

Fiercesome_Fool said what I was thinking

[5/10 · 26 November 2022]

Fast & the Furious with dinosaurs.

Too much going on. Seemed like half of their dialogue was overdubbed in post-production, which would explain how bad some of the acting was.

This film seemed like one giant excuse to do a bunch of travelling with everybody wearing designer clothes. Blah blah blah.

Campbell Scott is usually great, and his parents were practically acting royalty. He's way more capable than this, and could do evil well.

I love the original heroes and it was cool to see some of the extra Dinos. ***SPOILER ALERT! Kudos to Ian Malcolm's horny dog and his shin callous***

But Jurassic Park can't seriously get any bigger than this, can it? Uh oh, now that I've said that, they'll make it three times bigger. Perhaps they can do a cross-over with Independence Day and do Dinosaurs in Space. Then we can find out that Ian Malcolm is actually the long lost twin of David Levinson! Then since they're on the subject of twins, they can shoehorn Arnie and Danny DeVito into the plot.

The Sandman (2022– )

Filmed on a GoPro? 😜

[5/10 · 8 August 2022]

There are some nice effects, but certain scenes have a bit of a fisheye quality to them. Also, it's almost as though there are aspect ratio problems.

The acting is TERRIBLE. Even Charles Dance's performance is way under par. What the **** is Boyd Holbrook doing? He's giving a Masterclass in emphAsizING the wrong SYLLable and speak...ing in a disjo...inted fashion. Seriously, it sounds as though everybody's overdubbing their scenes in post.

What is it with actors nowadays? They watch a bunch of other actors play similar roles and simply "impersonate" them? "Yes, that's how Thorin Oakenshield would have woodenly said it!". Especially in these Sci-Fi/Sci-Fantasy shows...

I've only seen the first two episodes so far, but I probably won't make it much further!

Grease 2 (1982)

Grease 2 is its own animal

[9/10 · 18 June 2022]

When I first saw this movie, I hated it. The T-Birds seemed like dumb pansies. Nothing like the cool, "tough" Danny/Kenickie from the original.

But on my second viewing, I started to like it.

A few more viewings and I loved it!

All of the songs are catchy as hell, Michelle Pfeiffer is gorgeous and there heaps of funny little lines from the rest of the cast.

Grease 2 is lots of fun.

Firestarter (2022)

There was some terrible, terrible acting

[4/10 · 13 May 2022]

Sorry, but is Gloria Reuben usually this bad? Gloria was so bad that it was jarring. I haven't seen anybody act that bad since Bloodsport in the 80s (which I love).

I much prefer the original of course.

I was actually happy that they torched a cat this time, instead of killing a dog. It's usually a dog, and I hate it every time. I certainly didn't enjoy hearing the cat's pain while Zac gave her some lengthy life advice though. If it had been me, I would have put the cat out of its misery in a nanosecond, THEN given my daughter life advice.

I'm happy I didn't have to pay.

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

I have a better title for the film...

[2/10 · 18 April 2022]

"Everything you need to know about Gen Z, all at once".

They took Will Ferrell's "random" style of comedy and made Cloud Atlas with it, then flogged it to death.

It's a movie for cat owners. Random random random, blah blah blah, us and our cats are so impish and whimsical!

Nowadays, it's as though filmmakers are trying to fit an entire season of a TV show into a movie, but only showing the highlights. It's too much, everywhere, all at once.

The Grinch (2018)

Very pretty movie!

[7/10 · 21 July 2019]

Very colourful, and beautiful visuals. I DESPISED the Hip Hop soundtrack though.

Sour Grapes (1998)

Appeals to my strange sense of humour perfectly

[8/10 · 21 May 2019]

I absolutely love this movie. Steven Weber and Craig Bierko are a spectacular duo, and I find each of them bloody hilarious (individually).

A lot of people either didn't like or hated this movie, and that's okay. But, I do not understand those people.

"Sour Grapes" was one of three movies that I used in order to vet an old girlfriend's personality. Thankfully, she laughed at all of the right jokes and is now my wife! The other two in that list were "Real Men" (Jim Belushi and John Ritter) and "The Impostors" (Stanley Tucci and Oliver Platt).

If you like movies with neurotic and/or idiosyncratic characters, please try any one of the three I've mentioned in this review.

"He gets nothennnggg... NOTHENNNGGGGG!!!!".

Meet the Spartans (2008)

Absolute crud

[1/10 · 27 June 2018]

The tools who wrote and produced this movie need to stop turning everything into a dance battle. It's not funny.

The great spoof movies contain lots of great one-liners and little 3 second references to their serious counterparts etc. They do not take a bunch of Pop Culture references and make 15 minute scenes out of each of those references.

These guys need a kick in the head.

Pacific Rim (2013)

Great action, average acting, D-grade wannabe Australians

[5/10 · 25 July 2013]

I don't watch films with a critic's eye, so I will not mention anything about cinematography or plot holes really... I enjoy films most when I feel as though I've developed an emotional connection to one (or more) of the characters. On a slight sidenote, some people like listening to music purely for the shredding of the guitars, the pounding of the bass etc. or the melody in general. Others enjoy music most when they can connect to the song through the lyrics. This movie fell into the unfortunate category of "good music - with uninspiring, cookie-cutter lyrics and bad vocals".

The storyline was banged up to fit around the action sequences really. That wouldn't be a problem, had the actors actually breathed some life into their characters. Due to average performances and one-dimensional dialogue, I didn't give a damn about any of the characters. Charlie Hunnam sounded like he was narrating a B-grade video game throughout the entire movie; his performance was pretty weak. Idris Elba has been average in pretty much everything other than Prometheus (from what I've seen of him so far), but he does the job. Rinko Kikuchi did a nice job with what she had to work with. I enjoy Ron Perlman usually and he was pretty good in this, but nowhere near his usual charismatic self. I felt like punching the two Scientists in the face... One was a complete and utter nerd, the other was a strap-on to pop culture. Both of them completely unfunny and annoying.

However, let's move on to what really made me angry.

As an Australian, I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH how INSULTING it is when Americans attempt our accent. Not even Robert Downey Jr. in all of his brilliance can do it (and I'm a big fan of RDJ). STOP IT. GIVE IT UP. YOU'LL NEVER DO IT. It is pure ignorance and arrogance at the same time, thinking people will take you seriously.

Note: AUSTRALIANS DO NOT SOUND LIKE ENGLISHMEN WHO HAVE LIVED IN SOUTH Africa AND/OR NEW ZEALAND. Hire REAL Australians. There are tens of thousands of Aussies who would jump at the chance to feature in Hollywood Blockbusters.

Having said that, Max Martini's Australian accent was at least 75% better than Robert Kazinky's. Being a Brit, one would expect Robert to be pretty convincing, but no... The New Yorker kicked the Brit's ayess!

All in all, the movie was a letdown.

Being Human (2008–2013)

Good old fashioned comedy/drama with some horror on the side

[9/10 · 3 February 2010]

I am very pleased with Being Human.

I believe that the US have lost sight of what's really important in film/TV, particularly depth of character. All I see in American film and TV these days are a bunch of clichéd characters who speak in one-liners and catch-phrases.

Not the case with British film and TV - apart from Guy Ritchie films, tic.

Like "Dog Soldiers", Being Human relies on old technology to make their Werewolf work. So what, the wolf looks fake. You can look beyond it as the rest of the show is excellent.

Being Human has stayed true to the crux of Horror, which is the Supernatural element. Nowadays too often we see "genetically mutated" monsters, which takes the fear factor out of it all. If it bleeds, we can kill it (and easier than we thought).

Being Human is beautifully written, superbly cast and has its own feel; one you can immerse yourself in. It's simple viewing without being too predictable or too tame.

I'm pretty sure I would be happy to watch further installments of this show for the next 5 years and not be bored with it, provided the writing remains as refreshing as it is at the moment.

For me, Being Human is about the relationships between the characters and the anticipation of something "big" happening in each episode. It hasn't let down so far!