Sitting at home in the aftermath of the East Coast blizzard of 2010, I flicked on TCM just in time to catch Victor Mature wearing Hedy Lamarr like a cheap suit (or was it the other way around?). I was about to pass on it as stereotypical Mature Bible fare when I remembered just how hot Hedy was. Next thing you know they're tearing around the desert in his horsedrawn ragtop.
Fortunately, this was just before the great bareknuckled fight with the lion (even Leonard Maltin concedes it was "great" although "hopelessly phony"), and who can look away from that? Then I was hooked as I realized what terrific fodder this would have been for Mystery Science Theater 3000. Hunting party pulls up just after Samson does in Big Kitty: "Anyone seen our pet lion? Reward for the Prince's lost pet lion . . . HEYYYYYY!" Or that great headwear: "So you're Samson." "Nice hat, Ahtur. How much beer does it hold?"
What made me totally lose it, though, was the riddle bet. First off: Who cares if Hedy or Angela looks older, WHO CAN BELIEVE VICTOR KICKED HEDY TO THE CURB FOR ANGELA??? Movie sorta loses credibility right there. Then he bets 30 wedding guests they can't solve his riddle, the stake being fancy new cloaks. He wins, what's he going to do with 30 coats, open a menswear store? And if they win, how's he gonna pay up? I was wondering about that (in addition to marveling at the unspeakably poor sportsmanship of the Philistine guests -- "If he wins, kill him!") when Angela cheats and gives away the answer to the riddle. After telling her to go sleep in the gutter, a surly Victor stomps out the door, promising the guests their winnings, and that's the absolute best part: HE GOES AND MUGS 30 PASSERSBY FOR THEIR CLOAKS!!!" I laughed till the tears ran down my cheeks! What, did he have them drycleaned, or just hand them over with smelly pits?!
This is a gem. Think it belongs up there with John Wayne in "The Conqueror."
Fortunately, this was just before the great bareknuckled fight with the lion (even Leonard Maltin concedes it was "great" although "hopelessly phony"), and who can look away from that? Then I was hooked as I realized what terrific fodder this would have been for Mystery Science Theater 3000. Hunting party pulls up just after Samson does in Big Kitty: "Anyone seen our pet lion? Reward for the Prince's lost pet lion . . . HEYYYYYY!" Or that great headwear: "So you're Samson." "Nice hat, Ahtur. How much beer does it hold?"
What made me totally lose it, though, was the riddle bet. First off: Who cares if Hedy or Angela looks older, WHO CAN BELIEVE VICTOR KICKED HEDY TO THE CURB FOR ANGELA??? Movie sorta loses credibility right there. Then he bets 30 wedding guests they can't solve his riddle, the stake being fancy new cloaks. He wins, what's he going to do with 30 coats, open a menswear store? And if they win, how's he gonna pay up? I was wondering about that (in addition to marveling at the unspeakably poor sportsmanship of the Philistine guests -- "If he wins, kill him!") when Angela cheats and gives away the answer to the riddle. After telling her to go sleep in the gutter, a surly Victor stomps out the door, promising the guests their winnings, and that's the absolute best part: HE GOES AND MUGS 30 PASSERSBY FOR THEIR CLOAKS!!!" I laughed till the tears ran down my cheeks! What, did he have them drycleaned, or just hand them over with smelly pits?!
This is a gem. Think it belongs up there with John Wayne in "The Conqueror."
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