tooplanx Reviews

The Man from Earth (2007)

As good as most people have said.

[9/10 · 21 April 2022]

I was surprised when I stumbled across a sci-fi movie with such a high rating but that I had never heard of. I then read a lot of the reviews and decided to watch with some trepidation.

In the first 5 minutes I was a bit concerned by the poor quality image and background music, as well as a bit of 'over' acting and a few clichéd 'tells'.

However, the acting settled down well, and I was constantly surprised by how the script and actors were able to continually develop the story through areas that good easily be laughable or too simplistic or grandiose instead with incredible thoughtfulness and intellectual rigour.

It kept me gripped and made me really invest in the 'What if?' of the story, to the point where I almost want it to be true! I feel like I have really been on a revelatory journey!

The acting was actually really well done, and the 'jokey' character, who I found a bit off putting at the start, actually had some really good lines (my favourite being about at least one 2000 year old prophecy coming true).

Towards the end, I wondered how they might be able to round it all up successfully, but I thought they did a great job of both giving you even more to think about but at the same time giving some kind of resolution.

Would be a 10 if the picture and audio quality was better!

Burning (2018)

A very long, slow film that will leave you thinking and questioning in both good and bad ways.

[6/10 · 13 April 2022]

Objectively, I don't see how anyone could rate this much higher than a 7 or 8. It could perhaps even be a 4 or 5. There is much that is left to the viewer, but it had quite a few poor elements.

In summary, if you have plenty of time, don't mind a film that wastes time purely for 'artistry', like a film that leaves you with more questions than answers, then give this a go. Otherwise, enter with caution.

The film is deliberately vague and inconclusive, instead leaving the viewer to interpret events and meaning, including its ending. Character interactions are rather odd. I think this is perhaps deliberate, but for the first hour the main character is just odd and of little interest.

In fact, the first hour or so is what ruins the film. It is very long, slow and mostly unnecessary. We could get all the information and meaning we need from it in about 20 minutes. Instead it's drawn out across over an hour, filled with things that seem possibly significant, but are later completely forgotten and which have no apparent relevance to the rest of the story.

With better editing, this could have been a solid 8+, but it just wastes time and tries too hard to be arty and mysterious.

Unbreakable (2000)

Boring and very dated

[2/10 · 5 February 2022]

This film has aged badly. A lot about the directing and style feels very archaic and twee.

As a film however, it is also extremely dull. This was labelled as a 'thriller'. I literally cannot imagine a film less thrilling than this one. Seriously, Tree of Life is more of a thriller than this.

This film is very, very slow. The cinematography and production is very dull, grey and solemn. There is no humour whatsoever. There is basically zero 'action' apart from one short and subdued scene. There is no psychological or emotional tension. The story is largely predictable except for the last 2 minutes, but it doesn't go far enough to make the previous 2 hours with it.

I can see how some comic book and superhero fans might have a soft spot for it as it is different to your usual superhero origin story, but I get annoyed when films are promoted as something they are clearly not.

This is not a thriller.

It is a slow paced, solemn, superhero drama.

Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018)

About as clichéd a film as you could make.

[2/10 · 2 March 2019]

This movie is a so dreadfully clichéd that you can almost say the words spoken as the characters say them on screen. It seems like the script was written by a 12 year old boy, and the choreography by an 9 year old.

Gets 2 stars because it was so cheesy and ridiculous that it actually became quite funny. My family were genuinely confused as to whether it was meant to be a comedy or not.

The History Boys (2006)

I'm gobsmacked,and not in a good way.

[3/10 · 12 June 2015]

The good things: the acting is top notch, and it's vaguely interesting

The rest of it: I just don't know where to start...

The obvious thing is the bizarre celebration of sexual abuse of school children which the film romanticises and tries to pass off as normal and an in-joke amongst teachers and children.

Beyond this, the entire thing is unbelievable fabrication of an alternative reality that is some kind of homosexual- liberal-pseudo-intellectual fantasy. No 18 yo boys talk like that anywhere in the world, not even in the 80s. They talk back and forth as if in a Shakespeare play, and spontaneously break in to song and drama routines in the middle of lesson. They also seem to idolise the massively overweight sweaty, lecherous old teacher who molests them on his motorbike, when in reality the boys would ridicule him and try to give him a nervous breakdown. Every relationship in this film is unbelievable: the boys love the old sweaty pervert, but initially seem to hate the new teacher who is nice, talks to them in a relatively normal way, and actually teaches them proper interesting lessons. The teachers seem to have no problem with hanging out with the students, smoking, and hiding from the headteacher, and the boys treat the staff in a similar way, at one point asking his teacher to 'suck him off', and not in a cheeky way, but as a genuine request.

The thing that really got to me was that despite these students acting like literature Dons from the 16th century, Bennett has throne in bizarre tokenistic 'these are working class, uneducated boys' moments. First off, these boys already act like Oxbridge graduates, so the idea that they are struggling against their social situation to get in to Oxbridge is preposterous. Secondly, despite being to quote and explain the works of many literary figures off the top of their heads, and have spontaneous complex debates on the fine details of every historical event, we are expected to believe that they've never heard of Nietzsche or Jean Paul Sartre. They also just suddenly act 'dumb working class' for a few seconds when required to labour a point.

I can't be bothered to write anymore, but I could go on.

The Casual Vacancy (2015)

Very good (and entertaining) discussion of real issues affecting Britain today.

[9/10 · 1 March 2015]

Had to write a quick review to counteract the ridiculous first review from whom I can only assume is one of the privileged snooty characters from the programme. I honestly thought it was a joke outside. The programme isn't particularly crude: it shows a realistic depiction of fairly ordinary life, swearing and sexuality included.

Yes, Britain really is like that, and the drama painted a very intimate and affecting portrait of the lives of ordinary people, the hardships they face, and their failings as human beings.

Highly recommended. Apparently IMDb wants me to write more, so I'll say that the scenery is also very nice, so if you fancy a holiday somewhere with nice countryside, I believe it was filmed in the Cotswolds...

Mission to Mars (2000)

Atrociously bad movie. Laughable for much of it.

[2/10 · 30 September 2012]

I don't know what I'm more flabbergasted by: that a director of some decent movies can create such a terrible, cheesy, and downright simple minded movie and get it released; or that some people actually consider this to be an intelligent, emotional, and interesting movie.

First of all, lets get one thing out of the way: this movie is dumb. This is about as intellectual and profound as 'Jingle All The Way'. The ideas and plot-line are something that might be expected from a 9 year old and are so full of overdone clichés and hammy faux profundity it's laughable.

This might be forgivable if it was all delivered in a fun and exciting way, but it isn't. It's really quite amazing that de Palma has managed to make something inherently exciting and interesting (travelling to Mars, discovering something world changing) seem so run-of-the-mill and uninteresting. I put this down to the script and acting, all of which is delivered with all the gusto you might expect in a conversation about taking the bins out. It's as if the production company came up with the basic premise and plot and then ran it through a computer quickly to 'populate' the film with characters and interactions. This is all the more remarkable considering that these are actors of apparently high standards (especially Cheadle). There is no emotion or sense of urgency/fear/stress/excitement/happiness/relief/loss/awe or in fact anything. The script is so basic it's incredible. Simple, monosyllabic sentences are the order of the day, usually just adding noise to what is happening on screen. One scene essentially goes like this:

• "You're floating away" - "Yes" - "But I don't want you to float away" - "Sorry" - "No!"

And that is one of the 'exciting' scenes.

The only salvaging aspect of the film is that there are one or two visually interesting scenes, but they are all lifted straight out of 2001: A Space Odyssey, and they only manage to be less spectacular than the 1968 classic, and much less intriguing.

The 'science' in this is all nonsense also. The film ignores or neglects to understand basic principles of physics and biology and just serves to add to the sense of silliness. Great science fiction takes known scientific theories and extends them and poses the question "what if..?", rather than just rough-riding over all known realities of science.

Now, I understand that films are often a matter of taste, and I can allow for people liking this film, but this is not a 'good' film: it is a very poor quality film, and that is scientific fact.

The A-Team (2010)

Dull, terrible directing and editing, nonexistent script, and silly (and not even in a good way)

[3/10 · 15 September 2012]

I watched the movie expecting silly but fun action, but what I got was just silly, incomprehensible, and boring.

The script is flat, the jokes are non-existent, and the editing and direction is just awful: the average shot is probably under a second in length and all of them are so shaky and poorly executed that it's very difficult to see what exactly is meant to be happening, let alone enjoy the action sequences. You are left not remotely caring what happens to the characters or looking forward to see what happens next.

Do not waste your time on this, in any situation there will be more interesting and enjoyable things to do.

Cabeza de Vaca (1991)

The location is right- Florida at this time referred to all this area.

[8/10 · 2 May 2010]

Very interesting and visually stunning movie, which paints a unique portrait of pre-European life in this region.

However, most of the story is fabrication, as other reviewers have pointed out, which is a shame and takes much away from the 'insight' that this film seems to give.

On the point of geography- This film joins the expedition part way through their journey after they have left the Florida peninsula and just before they land in the Galveston region. It is worth pointing out that at this time THE WHOLE OF THE REGION FROM THE Florida PENINSULA TO NORTHERN 'NEW SPAIN' (MEXICO) WAS REGARDED AS Florida, and so film characters talking about the land as Florida is historically accurate.

Very good film though and definitely worth a watch.