rcp02 Reviews

Doomsday (I) (2008)

Mostly stolen from other movies, and done poorly

[4/10 · 2 June 2010]

Looks like mostly another post-apocalyptic movie, with many shots clearly stolen from Mad Max movies and Escape From New York. Only pretty poorly done. Don't tell me you find a whole post-apocalyptic government hideout and NOT go looking for guns...never mind having a gsm network still functioning 30 years after the whole of Scotland was abandoned. Some scenes are so clearly stolen you could almost drop Mel Gibson or Kurt Russell in and not notice, its a complete ripoff.

Now, if it is done well, then it doesn't make the movie bad by definition. But it is done pretty damn bad. Buy a brand new Bentley, and then very carefully open all the side windows in your air-conditioned luxury vehicle, otherwise the bad guys cant jump in you see? Also, a scrapheap love-bug weighing at most 800 kilos wont exactly be able to prevent itself from being driven off the road by a 2 ton Bentley.

I can probably list about 20 other things that are totally wrong with this movie. Lets just say it starts pretty good...violent and bloody, but still pretty well done. The premise is clearly stolen from Escape From New York, with the virus only as a drop-in replacement for crime. Thats not a problem by itself, but it starts to go pretty much downhill from the opening scenes. Somewhere halfway the movie stopped being exciting at all and started becoming totally predictable.

You also have your very typical (for lousy scriptwriting) leave-the-bad-guy-alive-so-he-can-kill-some-sidekick-in-another-scene stuff happening several times. Sorry, doesn't work.

Still, the acting by itself isn't that bad, and the action scenes are done well, so its not a complete waste of time. Just don't expect anything but a B-rated movie.

The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

Really really bad and insulting remake of excellent 50's classic

[4/10 · 1 May 2009]

Hollywood has been remaking a lot of movies lately with usually terrible results, and this is no exception. The scriptwriter has taken the original script, and rewrote it while apparently stoned or on coke. The original movie has an extremely clear storyline with no idiotic story twists, no decidedly crazy and astronomically improbable behavior like this one has in spades, and is excellent from first moment to last.

This piece of sputum on the other hand will let you feel like you want to bash the characters heads in half of the time for being so stupid and outrageously insane. The most pathetic part of this movie is the fact that despite having state of the art special effects it can't hold a candle to the original, which had hardly any effects whatsoever, never mind special ones.

True, it is not completely abysmal like , say , the day after tomorrow, and has at times decent acting. But good actors like John Cleese for instance are completely wasted in this movie, and even Reeves and Connely perform like wooden dolls at times. I won't spoil the end to you; I don't need to, it is bad enough that it will spoil itself.

Script: Zero .. Done by a chimp and two stray dogs taken from the streets. Edmund North is rolling in his grave.

Acting: far below average most of the time, sometimes OK

Music: Music? What music?

Effects: Made irrelevant by sheer lack of everything else...

Directing: I would be ashamed to be affiliated with this movie, even as a janitor. In fact, I would be ashamed been seen holding the DVD at a rental.

Joint Security Area (2000)

Very good human drama

[9/10 · 3 June 2008]

This movie is much less about the solving of a crime than it is about the difficulty of one people living apart by an absurd accident of history. It is not a whodunit, it is a story of human friendship above rules and almost fanatical enmity. Al characters portrayed are equally human, even up to the completely one-sided South Korean general who thinks the only good commie is a dead one. This movie is a metaphor for both Korea's today, seeking to come closer to each but prepared to slit each others throat in a split second just the same. At the same time the practical difficulties in making friends across such a divide show that not only can the difficulties of two countries be accurately conveyed into the behavior of just four people, it also shows how vice-versa the actions of both Korea's, which inevitably lead to great drama, is at the same time a metaphor for the small tragedy that unfolds in the joint security area. Highly recommended, if only for the last shot of the film which is almost literally a snapshot of the entire bond of friendship portrayed in the film, even beyond borders.

A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004)

Hideously predictable illogical trash with a Capital T

[1/10 · 29 December 2007]

Having just been forcefed this crap through television, I seriously advise anyone with even a remote sense of logic to avoid this movie like the bubonic plague. It is both utterly predictable, repetitive, and suffers from such horrible, terrible illogical acts. Not just once or twice, no, it's non-stop. I don't want to bore you with the story, get that from other comments. I personally found this movie to be equivalent to mental torture. The only plus side is the scenery and settings, which are excellent. The person who designed those houses may design mine...

There are two kinds of kid movies, the harry potter, pixar and Disney kind which are excellent; the other kind is this type of junk, in which apparently any form of storytelling has to be totally destroyed by producers and directors concentrating only on artistic decors and ignoring the horrible overacting by egocentric actors. And I don't mind Jim Carrey overacting, that's his normal style, and I liked him in Liar Liar and The Truman Show. Harry Potter and about a gazillion other kid movies prove that you don't have to shred logic to be cute, cuddly and entertaining.

This movie gets a flat 1, only because I can't give it a zero. Avoid like typhoid fever.

Nixon (1995)

Strong and unexpected performance by Hopkins

[8/10 · 24 November 2004]

This movie is, at start, not one of the best president-biographical movies at hand. It starts of rather chaotically, with flashbacks, black&white to color transforms and back, and indeed this MTV-type filming (or perhaps more accurately, this type of filming is very similar to that used in JFK and Natural Born Killers, other films by Oliver Stone) continues more or less intense throughout the film. Flashbacks can be a very good thing in films, but in this case the flashbacks are more often than not too short or too chaotic to make any sense.

However, this movie is definitely saved by very strong acting performance across the field and has in general good production values.

I especially liked the remarkable performance of Anthony Hopkins in portraying Nixon as a moody, somber and increasingly bitter and paranoid President, a performance almost in complete opposite of his performance as a cool and reserved butler in 'Remains of the Day'.

This is a 3 hour long movie and, unfortunately, the weakest bit comes after about 40 to 50 minutes in the movie, when we try to follow some of Nixon's early years. These scenes don't really shine, not because of acting, but because of lack of depth. The scenes rely on a sort of atmospheric impressionism that really isn't there. Instead Stone confused 'style' too much with 'slow paced' here.

However, the actual story is very good in portraying Nixon both as a man, with all his flaws and moods, and as a politician. It doesn't hold back, so at the same time we see the man as both ambitious, conniving, and criminal on the one hand, and his desire to be loved and be popular, to be understood, to perform as a president on the other.

In conclusion, I'd say this would have been a great film if not for lackluster childhood scenes (again, not because of lack of acting). However this film is worth an 8 to me and I would recommend it as a good way to spend an evening.

The Quatermass Xperiment (1955)

Creepy but bland

[6/10 · 7 June 2004]

While it might have been a truly scary film at the time, I find it most certainly doesn't keep up with other contemporary films. The fact that it has non-existent special effects taken into account, I also find the story quite slow-paced and overly detailed. In one part of the film for example we see about a full minute of a zoo keeper closing the zoo, while at the same time we hardly see anything of the man-transforming-into-blob-thingy.

I know that many people see suspense in these types of omissions, but here it is clearly done because they simply don't have the special effects. It shows.

In fact the whole film suffers from bad pacing. I don't mind slow paced films at all, but the tempo needs to serve a purpose. The only purpose it serves here is to make up for a lack of story. Nothing impressionistic or existentialistic about it; They just couldn't give the film any sense of urgency. The world is at risk of being taken over by a mutating alien life-form, but the most urgent part of the movie is where Inspector Lomax skips tea. I mean, seriously, is that the best they can do?

The acting is decent, but not outstanding. We do get to see both Gordon Jackson and David King-Wood acting well, but their efforts only go halfway to counterbalance the meager plot and non-existent effects.

A 6 for effort, and for the acting.

Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart in the Land of Demons (1973)

Great action combined with impressive storytelling, best of the series

[9/10 · 4 September 2003]

Even though all the festival-scenes are a sub-plot that adds little to nothing to the story, I find this an excellent film. The idea and the enactment of the five Samurai, each giving Ogami a part of his mission as their dying words, exemplifies the value of loyalty and truth above all. In all the Lone Wolf films honor is considered the highest value, and there is a continuous presence of morality throughout the series. In this film I was touched by the incredible loyalty of all the Samurais of the Kuroda clan. Even when on fire, fatally wounded or bleeding from every orifice, they still continue to serve their clan. In fact they care so much for their clan that they hire Ogami to kill their own, perverted masters, because their actions bring dishonor and great danger to the clan.

Story-wise certainly the most elaborate of the Lone Wolf films, I found this one to be the best.

Lone Wolf and Cub: White Heaven in Hell (1974)

Final episode of the Lone Wolf...I miss a sequel.

[8/10 · 4 September 2003]

The last of the Lone Wolf films, it tries to tie up some loose ends by killing more of the Yagyu family, but Ogami's adventures could continue after this movie: Retsudo, his arch-enemy, still lives and I wish they made at least a seventh film to finish him off. Even after all this killing, men are still willing to attack Ogami, even though he must have killed hundreds, if not thousands of Samurai by now. One clan even sends a sort of zombies after him, and it takes some wit to finally destroy them. In the end there comes another great standoff between him and the remaining forces of the Yagyu-clan, a visual feast of sword-fighting on a snow-covered mountain. Great action all in all, even if the story isn't as elaborate as in some other Lone Wolf films.

Lone Wolf and Cub: Sword of Vengeance (1972)

Good, decent Samurai film...first of a series.

[8/10 · 4 September 2003]

Sword of Vengeance is the first film in a series about a noble samurai and his son fallen from grace through a conspiracy, and now under a constant fear of death by assassination. This movie by itself is a fine example of how a more modern, 'slasher' style Samurai film and 'old' values like honor and '1-good-Samurai-defeats-army-of-bad-Samurai' can be put together to make a solid, entertaining film. The later films are sometimes better, sometimes worse than this movie, but I found all of them to be very entertaining and worthwhile.

If you like to see some classic Samurai action, check out the whole serie of six films. Years later they took all the juicy bits out of the first four films and stitched them together to form the film 'Shogun Assassin', a film I suspect made for export to western countries: Less story, more blood.

Deadly Heroes (1993)

Absolutely awful. Don't bother.

[2/10 · 28 June 2003]

Gee, what can I say?

Nowadays I'm trying to prevent watching really really bad movies, because it is just a waste of time usually. I saw this movie by accident on TV when cooking and eating my dinner on a lazy saturday night, and so I actually saw this movie without being forced to. But at least I spend my time eating, which is good.

This movie has no qualities, period. It's a complete waste of time for anyone, anywhere. Absolutely incredibly bad acting by basically every single person in the movie, horrificly predictable plot-changes, ridiculous script, and a lobotomized monkey for a director (Yes that's you mr. Golan) make this an insult to anyone with even the slightest bit of brainmatter. I can't believe ANYONE would want to tie his name to this piece of crap.

This is the type of movie that gets aired by the TV networks because it came as an in-the-box gift of a box of cornflakes. I couldn't force myself to watch the rest of it when I was finished eating. And if you're wondering if I got sick of this movie, it's just too lame to get sick from.

This movie gets a 1 only because they won't allow negative scores on this database. If you're curious about this movie, ignore your curiousity and go do something more entertaining, like torturing yourself with a kitchen utensil or rearranging your socks. Trust me.