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Reviews
Limonádový Joe aneb Konská opera (1964)
Incompetent on every level.
A film this bad is rare,really. You have to actually seek movies this bad out,they don't just pop out of nowhere. Enter lemonade joe. I had no knowledge of this movie until a friend of mine told me I had to watch it. He explained the premise(as ridiculous as the rest of the movie) and told some odd things about it. so when I finally watched it with him I was completely unprepared for how horrible it would be. He warned me of some things, but it still wasn't enough. The film starts with an absolutely idiotic and pointless bar fight that is never explained and gets worse and worse from there. The dialog is really cheesy and i think very badly translated from its original Czech( I am referring to the subtitles) The characters are ridiculously exaggerated and poorly written. Basically,this film just sucks. The directing,writing,acting and everything that goes into a film is just horribly gone here. i think the only other time I saw filmmaking this bad was when I saw Troll 2.This movie is just so horrible I cant articulate it. Just...ugh
Hulk (2003)
A rare gem
I may be the only person I know who actually likes this movie,and the only one I know who believes it to be superior to the new hulk movie. This is a very different comic book movie,one that takes time to develop the inner conflicts of a character,and here that is very compelling. We witnes Bruce Banner's tortured past,how he is holding onto a dark seceret. This add extra layers to the film as his father comes into play(the reason he is so tormented) The story is about him manifesting all his internal problems physically,enter the Hulk. The Hulk is the opposite of Banner,barbaric and powerful. able to accomplish incredible feats of superhuman strength but simple in intelligence. He is everything Banner isn't and is able to express the rage banner has bottled up. I find this story very compelling,the actors are all well cast and strong and the action scenes are very good. One thing I could never understand is why people ripped on the special effects in this movie,they are startlingly real looking and astonishing to look at. I also believe that the action scenes in this movie are more epic and emotionally fueled. From the dog fight to the epic battle in the desert to the final confrontation,it is epic
Troll 2 (1990)
Adjectives fail me
When you hear about a movie so awe full that you wont believe how awe full it is, you start to wonder,how awe full is it really? I had read many reviews for this movie and even watched some clips,but nothing could have prepared me for this pile of ungodly badness. I wanted to watch this movie for a long time but couldn't find a copy. Then a friend invited me over to watch it on netflix. I was amazed. All the things I had ever heard about it were true! It was a pile of S%$T!! At first my friend and I were just laughing hysterically, the movie was so bad it was funny. This was because the acting was so bad we couldn't believe it, emotions were hard to register, facial expression looked absolutely ridiculous and the actors didn't even look like they knew what they were doing. It honestly looked like the director tried to find the worst actors ever. But thats OK, because this may be the worst script of all time, so no talent was wasted. Seriously, the story is a mess and the dialogue is horrible. It sounds stiff, forced and is completely unbelievable. The plot is also equally ridiculous,making little sense and full of obvious holes that weigh the film down even more. On top of all that the film is just idiotic in every way possible. The effects suck,the makeup is like something from a children's show with no budget and the premise is so silly it defies belief. Only watch this film if you truly want to see some of the most incompetent film making ever
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
An excellent follow up that is superior to the original
Even though this is not a traditional sequel in the sense that it is really just a part two of one really long movie,kinda,I found this to be better than the first in almost every way. The first Kill Bill did have more action and gore but I found this one to be it's smarter big brother. The plot is more interesting and finishes the story nicely. The characters are more developed and Bill himself is a very central character,and a fascinating one at that. I also really liked how the characters of Bud and Elle Driver(California mountain snake) where explored a bit more and had more screen time. Plus on top of that all the main performances where really good. My favorite though was Chia Hui Liu as Pai Mei,the extreme Martial arts teacher. My other favorite performance was David Carradine as Bill. Carradine makes Bill a charming,intelligent character as well as a great villain. His super hero speech in this movie is one of its greatest moments. So despite the lack of action I found this to be a smarter,more interesting movie than it's predecessor as well as a wildly entertaining and very original movie
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Fantastically entertaining,original and amazing
Kill Bill vol.1 is one of the most exciting and stylish action movies made in recent years. It doesn't conform to Hollywood conventions and as a result is very fresh and entertaining. It takes the age old revenge formula and injects new life into the premise and comes up with some real originality. Kill Bill is vastly different than any film out there,thanks to its witty dialogue,imaginative plotting and fascinating characters. Kill Bill vol 1 doesn't really offer much in the way of emotion but that doesn't matter. This is a wild ride of a movie,one you do not want to miss. It provides awesome action and a steady supply of humor.This is a very original creation and is one of the most stand out films I have ever seen. It may not be quite as good as Pulp Fiction or even Kill Vill vol 2(Tarantinos other great works) but those films were masterpieces,in my opinion anyway,and the fact that it isn't as good as those films doesn't put it down in any way. So if you are a fan of Tarantinos work or you just want to see a really original,crazy action picture,this movie is for you
El laberinto del fauno (2006)
A dark imaginative adult fairy tale
Pan's Labrynth is by far and wide one of the most original movies ever made. It is fueled by dark,fantastical imagination and throws in twists and surprises along the way. On a more emotional note the film does a fantastic job at creating realistic,fleshed out characters who all have different interesting traits,so that you will be amazed by the visuals and sympathize with the characters,making this an emotionally involving feast for the eyes. This is a fairy tale,but a very dark fairy tale to be sure,not one made for children despite the fact that the main character is a child. She is innocent and very likable and she draws us into the movie,creating much empathy for her character.Guillermo del Toro once again proves that he is one of the greatest film makers alive,filling this movie with life,imagination and dark exciting visuals. A masterpiece of the fantasy genre
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Wildy entertaining,simply astonishing
Pulp Fiction is a crazy,wild ride of a movie and is one of the most entertaining movies I have ever seen. It effectively combines smart original dialogue, wildly entertaining plot lines and many memorable characters. This movie is Quentin Tarantino at top form,delivering what is his greatest film to date,and one of the best films ever made. I will say that I am not quite sure it deserves the number 5 spot on the IMDb top 250 list,not because I don't like it but simply because I think that there are better movies out there. But to get back on the subject this is an amazing film. It is stunning in its brilliance and a joy to watch. It can also effectively switch moods at the drop of a hat. Sometimes it plays like a buddy comedy,other times it is dark and extremely suspenseful.I will say that the only complaint I could ever see thrown at this movie is lack of emotional involvement or feeling. I get this way with most of Tarantino's work but with this film I really didn't care. It is just sheer brilliance,imaginative film making and excellent entertainment. An absolute must see
Transporter 3 (2008)
Dull and annoying. This third chapter runs out of fuel
Transporter three takes a franchise that,to be honest,was never superb. But the two movies before it did offer a decent action ride and were fairly entertaining. Sadly this movie was just a load of trash. The plot was painfully stupid,some of the dialogue would make your ears bleed and character development is just plain out of the question. Now I know that it is a bit silly to complain about character development and plot when talking about a Transporter movie but here these elements were painfully nonexistent. "But what about the action"? you may ask. "Did it provide enough thrills and adrenaline". Sadly,the answer is no. The action scenes in this movie where not that thrilling and they usually looked like something from a commercial or a music video.In fact,half of this movie looked like a commercial or a music video. Plus as I said earlier,the plot is stupid,nonexistent and predictable all the way. This film has almost no fun or entertainment value. The one positive thing I can say is that Jason Statham is still cool,even in a horrible movie like this. But for the most part this film is dreadfully bad and unentertaining
Blade II (2002)
A highly improved sequel that provides great entertainment
Blade 2 is a good improvement over the first installment. It has more action,a cooler style and more interesting characters. Many of the problems that I had with the first Blade(weak characters,bad CGI,thin plot) are mostly cleared up here. I also think that this film puts Weasly Snipes talents to better use. It seems to know that Snipes acting talent is a bit limited(sorry Snipes fans) but manages to make him a bit more of a compelling hero than he was in the first movie. It also introduces more characters,some of which are interesting and most of which are well played(you know,acted) The plot is a bit thin and convoluted but that doesn't really matter. The special effects are good and action is non-stop and exciting. I also think that it was a wise move bringing Guillermo Del Toro in as a director because he adds in a lot of imagination and his own awesome visual style,making this film much more interesting and exciting than the first. Thats all I can say really,Blade 2 just has better acting,better characters,better action,better style and is simply more entertaining than the first installment. It may not be a excellent film but it knows what it is and what it wants to achieve and does it splendidly. A rare sequel that surpasses the original in every way
Blade (1998)
Provides exciting action,but little else
Blade is a decently entertaining action flick thanks to its stylish film making and cinematography . It has some pretty cool thrills and good action scenes. Sadly that is the films strongest point. Most of the main characters a thinly developed and are only a bit interesting. Blade himself is cool and tough and has a interesting back story but really isn't that compelling. Karen,a girl he saves who then becomes a main character is as dull as dishwater and her acting isn't very good. To be quite honest Wesley Snipes doesn't turn in a great performance either. His blade is very one note,cool tough guy. This is sometimes very entertaining but other times it doesn't serve the movie very well. Whistler however is a different story. Whistler is Blades mentor and serves as a father figure for him. He is very well played by Kris Kristofferson and injects some much needed humanity in this film. The other great characters in this movie are the villains Deacon Frost(Stephen Dorf) and his right hand man Quinn(Donald Logue) they add some menace and humor to the film. My only other complaint about this movie is the CGI. CGI was very hit or miss in the 90s and this film is no exception. What I hated the most about it was that whenever somebody was killed by silver they would dissolve into dust. I have two problems with this.ONE: I like seeing lots of bodies after a huge action scene,its just really cool.TWO: the CGI looks especially cheep during these shots and it is very distracting. But despite it's many flaws Blade is a very entertaining film thanks to its style,energy and great action scenes. And Kris Kristofferson is really cool in this movie,always a plus
Hellboy (2004)
Entertaining thanks to Del Toro's direction and Perlman's performance
Hellboy is a very unique and entertaining comic book action movie. it succeeds in supplying great action,imagination and compelling characters. Guillermo Del Tore was an excellent choice to direct this movie. He fuels it with dark fantasy and imaginative visuals,creatures and plot devices. His style of film making makes this film a joy to watch as we soak up his dazzling vision. I must also give credit to Ron Perlman for his brilliant performance as Hellboy. He makes Hellboy sympathetic,likable,funny,witty and dynamic. He holds your attention whenever he is on screen and radiates confidence,power and also a bit of a sensitive side. Hellboy is very self aware and we can tell that he wishes he could fit in and be accepted and despite the fact that some people may fear him,he doesn't hate outside people. The other great performance in this movie is by John Hurt as Hellboys father. He is the wise confident leader who is also a great father figure for Hellboy. One other thing that I loved about this movie was the mythology used here. It is imaginative,frightening and some how very threatening in this film. This film is not without some flaws,some plot elements and characters aren't fully developed(villains mostly) and the film lacks some focus. But these flaws don't hold the movie back to much. this film is fun fast and entertaining but it is also thought full and somewhat touching. Del Toro breathes life into this film and makes it a visually stylized treat and a very good entry into the comic book/superhero genre
D-War (2007)
Who knew a movie about dragons could be so lame
This is a very very very very idiotic movie and I cannot think about one redeeming feature this movie had except for the sometimes good effects. The story was idiotic and was sometimes to simple and sometimes to complex,the acting was dull,complete with blank expressions and dry line delivery and the film lacks logic or anything resembling brains. For instance there is a scene where a fortress city is under attack by a huge army complete with giant lizards monsters(dragons?)with cannons on their back. They blow apart the wall and invade. Now these creature are extremely slow and I mean slow(a 98 year old granny with arthritis is faster) yet when one guy falls down about 15 feet in front of one he doesn't have enough time to get up and run away,he just lies there and gets crushed.This action scene also looks really cheap,complete with swords that don't cut into bodies when they are slashed and cause people to twist in odd directions when slain.Then when the army is done and has captured a very important person,I wont say who it really doesn't matter,they only send about 50 guys to escort her rather than the hundreds they had to spare. On top of that some old guy comes flying through the air(literally) waves his had and blows up like 18 of them and the proceeds to have a hand to hand fight with the remaining guards and looses! If he could blow people up by waving his hand why didn't he do it to everyone,maybe I just wasn't paying attention. And the dragons themselves are pretty idiotic to. They can chase and keep up with cars going 80 mph but when chasing humans become incredibly slow.I could go on all day about how idiotic,boring and lame this movie is but that would be a complete waste of our precious time on this earth. To put it simply this is and incredibly dumb action movie that provides no entertainment due to poor acting and a horrid script and bad action. Avoid at all costs unless you want to see a terrible movie
The Shootist (1976)
Touching story about the death of a man and the passing of an era
The movie the Shootist is quite possibly one of John Wayne's greatest films. It has a real emotional punch to it and has one of his greatest performances ever.His character in this movie embodies almost everything he has ever done in his earlier movies to make a very interesting character with an interesting past. The movie assumes that you have at least seen some of his earlier films because if you have you may have a better understanding of this characters past. Thats not to say that if you have never seen a John Wayne film you will be totally lost. There is enough dialogue to fill you in on this mans past to get a good understanding of him. having said that this movie is somewhat of a John Wayne allegory,starring the man himself. He plays a famous(or infamous depending on how you look at it)man dying of cancer(John Wayne had stomach cancer while the film was being shot.)The great thing about this movie is that it presents a very de-glamorized John Wayne. He old and course and wishes to die in peace,sadly this is easier said than done.He suffers not just from sickness,but from people who would wish to take advantage of his fame and situation to profit,this leads to some very heart wrenching scenes where people treat his life and death in a very insensitive manner and it is down right infuriating. and he also has to deal with gun slingers who wish to make a name for themselves by killing a legend,thus adding a bit more suspense. all in all this is a powerful and touching movie about not only the death of a man but the passing of an era. In this film we see things like electric devices,telephones,cars and steam cleaning,signs that the era that our main characters is from is dying,just like him. This is a great movie with a great actor giving a great performance. his portrayal of a man facing his death with dignity and courage is heart wrenching and the film does well to make it an emotional experience without being sappy.It may have been the Dukes last film,but it was also one of his greatest
Trick 'r Treat (2007)
It may not be the scariest movie ever,but it sure was entertaining
This was a very entertaining film thanks to its clever story and fairly unique style. And it was very nice to see that for once things like acting and character development where considered important in a horror movie. It had its fair share of surprises and was nice enough to refrain from what I like to call "false"scares. The four stories here were smartly interwoven yet mostly independent from each other. The film is also fairly shocking but I liked that fact that it didn't resort to the grisly violence of the "Saw" movies or the extreme gore seen in some of the new horror movie like Friday the 13th or Halloween.To be honest this isn't the scariest film I have ever seen. To be frank in some ways I feel that not all it's potential was reached. One thing I noted was that was that one or two scenes were a bit to well lit. I am not going to give any spoilers away but in my opinion the less you see of something the scarier it is. I wont say when this flaw is evident but if you watch this movie,which you should,you will probably spot the scene I am talking about.But to be fair there isn't that much to gripe about here. The film has its fair share of scares and surprise and the flaws are minimal. All in all this was a smart and very entertaining horror movie and one I would easily recommend.