adam-scrivner Reviews

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)

Suspiciously similar to Episode IV...

[5/10 · 4 January 2016]

Off work for Jesus' birthday. Tree in the lounge. Family visiting. Mum babysitting. Nothing on at all at the cinema except for the new hotly-tipped "Star Wars" film. Having been appalled and disappointed by the Disneyfication of the most recent three contributions to the franchise, I frankly really didn't hold high expectations for this latest effort. To be perfectly honest I thought that it was most likely going to be formulaic and simple, guaranteed to rake in lorry loads of cash.

Formulaic? Yes. Simple? Certainly. Cute, lovable robot designed to appeal to small children and softer-brained adults? Of course. Plot essentially identical to Episode IV? Erm, yes.

Look, the film is entertaining, but please remember to switch off your mobile telephone and brain upon entering the cinema as neither will be required to enjoy the 130-or-so minutes of this film. If you've never seen a "Star Wars" film before then you won't need to as everything is explained here in crayon for you. Alternatively, should you crave more cerebral entertainment (Henry V, for example) then please avoid this at all costs. I'm going home now.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

Definitely one for the die-hard Marvel fans

[4/10 · 30 March 2014]

Saturday night. Nothing to do. I know, let's go to the cinema! My friend suggested that we go to see this film.

I recall (dimly) seeing the first Captain America film but for some reason I couldn't make any sense of the beginning of this one. It seems that I must have missed a Captain America film at some point as there were lots of references to plot events of which I was completely unaware. Understandably this significantly detracted from my enjoyment.

There is a lot of action in this film; having said that there was only one point at which this succeeded in engaging my attention. Sadly all of it was fairly formulaic cartoon violence, with indestructible people able to withstand the kind of physical traumas that would leave a normal person either hospitalised or deceased. There is also some acting. Not particularly good acting, mind you; the characters seemed to be paper-thin in many cases and the cast gave the impression that they were not hugely interested in anything other than their pay packet.

A plot was present but at this stage I am not interested enough to comment on it.

In summary, if you are a huge fan of mindless Marvel comic films and in particular Captain America then you will lap this up and rave about it to your adolescent friends over a Big Mac while simultaneously Facebooking on your smart phone. Adults should probably spend their money on something else.

The Stand (1994)

Watchable, but not a patch on the novel

[5/10 · 9 January 2014]

Having got into reading Stephen King novels and short stories over the last decade I have become something of a fan. I spotted a tatty-looking, ex-loan copy of "The Stand" for sale at my local library for the princely sum of £2, and I thought that given how voluminous it was, it had to be value for money (it is approximately 1500 pages).

What a great book! A thoroughly compelling and gripping story from the outset, with a myriad of exciting, believable and very well fleshed-out characters. An interesting plot with a plethora of subplots, what on Earth was there not to like? Factor in the sex and occasional, brutal violence and hey presto, we have a King classic.

It was on IMDb that I first became aware of the mini-series made of the book. At six hours long I thought that it would contain quite a lot of the plot, characters and detailed dialogue from the novel, so I took a punt and bought a copy on DVD. I finally got around to watching it this week.

Clearly I should have expected some cuts to be made from the original text, considering its length, but I was surprised to see that at least 75-80% of the novel was missing, which is a terrible shame. Entire characters were absent. Subpots were deleted. Frannie's mother? Frannie's boyfriend? Most of Harold's lard? Lost. And that's just at the beginning! What a shame. And the 15 certificate should have flagged up some alarm bells too. There is a fair bit of sex, violence, gore, death and horror in the unexpurgated novel, and many pages of vivid background text describing the origins of each character in glorious depth. Sadly a 15 rating means that all of the really juicy stuff has gone in the bin.

There is some good casting and some very good acting, but although the mini-series has been enjoyable to watch, I can't help but feel let down by the overall quality. Such a great book, such an epic story, surely deserves better that this? I can envisage the story being made into a much lengthier series for television, maybe running to 40-50 hours or so, which would really do justice to King's excellent original work. Anything shorter simply wouldn't do in my opinion.

To sum up, I cannot in all honesty give this effort a fair review as I have read the novel, which is vastly superior in every way. If you have not read The Stand then by all means watch this series, and should you enjoy it, be sure to read the (full-length!) novel, which is fantastic.

The Hollow Crown (2012–2016)

Reminded me why this is taught at school

[8/10 · 28 November 2013]

At school we were force fed Macbeth (*yawn*). I loathed it. At the time I thought that Shakespeare (*yawn*) was a load of boring old rubbish, not a patch on the Terry Pratchett books that I enjoyed reading at home. It genuinely puzzled me that my teacher (I am thinking of you, Mrs Canning!) seemed to get so much out of studying the text with us.

A couple of decades later I stumbled across The Hollow Crown on the TV, and there was nothing else on so I thought that I would give it a chance. What a revelation! It was so pleasant to watch. The quality of acting, the excellent settings, the obvious command and understanding of the text demonstrated by the cast. Boring old Shakespeare (*yawn*) now excitingly brought to life on the screen in front of me. Fantastic.

I thoroughly enjoyed all of the Hollow Crown plays, from Richard II to Henry V. I am now looking forward to reading Henry VI. If, like me, you have never been a fan of Shakespeare (*yawn*), but you are curious to see what all of the fuss is about, then give the Hollow Crown series a look as you may just be surprised.

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Better than I expected

[5/10 · 20 November 2013]

Having seen the first Thor film I knew not to expect too much - lots of action, plenty of nonsense, Anthony Hopkins looking a little worn, moderately thin plot. All of these were delivered. Surprisingly the acting was not too bad at all in places, although the Darcy Lewis character is one of the most irritating that I have had the misfortune to experience on screen.

There was some confusion early on as there were references made to events that weren't in the first film, so I must have missed another Thor film at some point, but I can only find one other on IMDb. This also detracted from my enjoyment.

In a nutshell, after a promising start, the film nose-dived considerably, but then managed to claw its way back up from being "awful" to simply being "mediocre". As brainless sequels go this was a reasonable effort, but I won't bother watching it when it is eventually on the telly.

Alan Partridge (2013)

Good fun, with a few laugh-out-loud moments

[7/10 · 14 August 2013]

I wasn't a huge fan of Alan Partridge on the telly, but certainly found him to be moderately entertaining when there was nothing else to watch. That said, as soon as I saw the trailer for Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa I was intrigued, and had to go to see it.

Pretty much everything about this film was a pleasant surprise, from the well-chosen supporting cast to the occasional unintentional side-splitting comments from Alan. And as for the situations in which he finds himself, well, at least twice during the picture I was actually crying with laughter. Sadly though, there were moments when it wasn't really clear where the plot was going, but these were few and far between.

Steve Coogan and Colm Meaney turned in strong performances, and there were moments of genuine hilarity, but I couldn't help but think that the plot could have done with a little more fleshing out. Overall this film is definitely worth seeing, and is certainly more entertaining than anything else that has been released so far this summer.

The Wolverine (2013)

A missed opportunity

[5/10 · 7 August 2013]

I watched this film only last night, so thought that I would write a review while it was still fresh in my mind.

The beginning of the film is promising, but is quickly ruined by some very unconvincing CGI, which is a shame. Jackman's character is his usual brooding self in the opening few scenes, quickly re-establishing himself on screen and setting the tone. Then begins the gradual decline of this film into a seemingly non-stop mess of action sequences that had me looking at my watch after only 45 minutes.

The plot is there, and although some spirited attempts are seemingly made to keep it going throughout the picture, it is very easily lost amongst the equally tenuous sub-plots. There are not really any surprises in this film, as any potential twists are so easy to spot in advance that I would advise leaving your brain at home if you go to the cinema to watch it.

It could have been excellent - Wolverine is, after all, a very strong character - but as with so many films of late if half of the money that was spent on CGI was instead spent on the script, then the film would have been infinitely better.

This film passes the time adequately but no more.

Last Tango in Halifax (2012–2020)

Solid beginning but rapid descent into unbelievable farce

[6/10 · 19 December 2012]

When my partner suggested watching this my initial reaction was moderately positive, but I have to say that I quickly warmed to this apparently well-made drama, with its cast of familiar high-quality actors and actresses. The first episode was very engaging, with solid development of characters and plot, and the second episode was mostly equally watchable. The only downside so far had been the introduction of what seem to be fairly ubiquitous(and rather boringly predictable) plot devices such as the car chase, the lesbian fling, the past suicide, the alcoholic, the estranged teenager, and the attempted blackmail. I persevered...

By the third episode we had unfortunately began to descend into slightly idiotic and unbelievable farce, very similar to that which rather disappointingly afflicted the final series of Upstairs Downstairs. We have estranged children violently attacking mum's, er, "friend with benefits", elderly people getting trapped inside a rather creepy house, and exploding cars.

I won't spoil the ending but was rather saddened to see overall that yet another promising BBC series that began with such promise has been ruined by over-zealous writers trying to inject way, way too much highly artificial and unnecessary "drama". It would be better if this sort of fantastic nonsense could be reserved for the likes of Eastenders or Casualty.

Overall I would describe this as watchable and passably entertaining, but don't expect it to be believable.

Street Kings (2008)

Good, but could have been better.

[5/10 · 21 December 2011]

Where to begin? Well... my friends and I were bored and so decided to go to the pictures. Street Kings was showing, and it looked pretty good, so we thought "why not"...

This film has a very solid cast, with lots of big names and lots of talent, and the plot is also fairly free of major holes. In the cinema it was quite enjoyable, but it seemed to lack a certain something. On the small screen it was noticeably much less enjoyable.

I cannot really put my finger on the problem. My only real criticisms are Keanu's continued woodenness, that has sadly been a continuous feature of his acting career, and also the miscasting of the very talented Forest Whitaker. I thought that his role could have been played more effectively by somebody a little older.

Formulaic but relatively enjoyable, this film is worth seeing once, but you won't benefit from seeing it twice.

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)

Entertaining and watchable but nothing overly special.

[6/10 · 27 September 2011]

Another decade, another version of Robin Hood, with another Hollywood cast of superstars.

Plot: Erm, well, essentially this is the well-known tale featuring a kind hearted fella who steals from the rich and giveth to the stinking, grubby proletariat. A few interesting twists and turns, including the hilarious addition of a Moor and a comedy Sheriff. Ho ho. A bit of action for the lads (swords AND explosions, cool!!!), a bit of Kev's bum for the ladies (and some romance, aah, vom), a couple of child actors, the odd joke and occasional bit of seriousness and we have the complete Hollywood film experience.

Cast and acting: Kev is a pretty good actor and after the first 20 minutes I became oblivious to the inappropriateness of his trans-Atlantic accent. He gets one or two cheeky lines out and a bit of a snog and generally does well, although does come across as quite irritating at times. Morgan Freeman is a very talented actor and I thought that he did well, mixing seriousness with humour. Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio is eye-catching and reasonably cast as Maid Marion. But... the star of the show is demonstrably Alan Rickman, who manages to ham it up throughout this film and, in my opinion, gets all of the best lines. Sean Connery's cameo was rubbish. Brian Blessed's brief scene was a joy to behold. Christian Slater is a very capable performer but was horribly mis-cast in this picture. The other actors did well, although there were no outstanding performances that spring immediately to mind.

Rubbish bits: Robin marrying Marion, with Sean Connery. I mean, come on.

Good bits: Dunno where the film was shot, and I don't care enough to look it up on Google (other search engines are available), but the scenery is all spectacular. The serious tone at the beginning of the film is particularly enjoyable, preceding as it does the inescapable, inevitable descent into romantic mush.

Other stuff: Make sure that you watch the full-length film, as up until recently I have only ever seen the edited-for-TV version, which has clearly been sensitively prepared by a myopic, chainsaw-wielding ape.

Quotes: "Hello my lover"; "You, my room, 10:30 tonight. You, 10:45, and bring a friend."

The Inbetweeners (2011)

As disappointing as I expected

[5/10 · 21 August 2011]

If you are a huge fan of The Inbetweeners then you will like this film. If, like me, you merely like the television series, and have found one or two of the episodes to be overly contrived to facilitate cheap laughs, then you will probably enjoy the film but not hugely. Newcomers to The Inbetweeners should probably think quite hard before parting with their hard-earned cash, however. If you are over 25 then definitely leave it alone, although if you lack the capacity for rational thought then go and enjoy it.

Plot: standard stuff really... our four protagonists have left 6th form and decide to go on an ultimate lads holiday, with hilarious consequences (ho ho!). Cue a parody of a "lads on tour" trip, including excessive alcohol (or normal consumption these days), scantily clad men and nearly naked orange young women, loud music, flashing lights, profane language, vomit, faeces, granny-shagging, the works. Mix in four cases of holiday romance and several personal epiphanies and you have... a very average and hugely predictable film.

Cast and acting: the lads seem fairly settled with their characters now (Will - geek, with curious prejudices; Simon - bit of an immature tit; Neil - simple; Jay - obsessive onanist and compulsive liar), so they turn in solid performances. At a couple of points they do struggle though, particularly when the dailogue is rather thin. The supporting cast do a convincing job or portraying slightly posh, spoilt, middle-class boys and girls spending mummy and daddy's money on a jolly exciting boozy holiday.

Highlights: Neil's log, Simon's crying, Neil's taste in women... and that's about it. The film is quite short - it says 97 minutes but that probably includes 10+ minutes of credits.

Lowlights: after the first 40 minutes the jokes and plot essentially ended I was looking at my watch.

Would I watch it again?: not a chance.

Horrible Bosses (2011)

Best film of the summer

[8/10 · 9 August 2011]

***May contain spoilers***

Good lord. I saw the trailer for this film while waiting for Transformers 3 and thought "I'd like to see that", and then promptly had my brains and will to live removed by Michael Bay and so forgot all about it. I was really bored last weekend and so when a friend suggested a trip to the flicks I agreed. The only film that looked remotely watchable was Horrible Bosses.

Plot: Three friends hate their bosses. One boss is a mental coke addict / party boy, another boss is a mean, deranged control-freak, and the third is probably the sort of boss that many heterosexual men in the 18-65 age range dream about. The three friends all decide that their bosses must die, and hilarity ensues...

Cast and acting: It is rare to see an all-star line-up such as this. And it is also uncommon to see every big name performing really well. I was so, so impressed. Worthy of special mention are Kevin Spacey (hilariously homicidal) and Jennifer Aniston. I should mention that I loathe "Friends" and genuinely never saw Aniston as attractive, but her portrayal of sexually unhinged, patient-molesting, prospective rapist of men Dr. Julia Harris D.D.S. had me rather hot under the collar.

Memorable bits and bobs: Colin Farrell's hair, the box of cocaine, Dean Jones, Aniston's lab coat, Donald Sutherland, "Gregory", and many more.

Overall: So good, I will probably go and watch it again.

The Invasion (I) (2007)

Poor, poor remake

[3/10 · 9 August 2011]

***May possibly contain some spoilers***

Concise review: At best, this film passes the time.

Detailed review: Where to begin? Well, I was tired, and came home wanting to relax in front of a good film. I turned on the TV and noticed that there was a "sci-fi horror film" on at 9pm. Great. Unfortunately it turned out to be "The Invasion".

Plot: If you have seen the original (and best - it is a classic) "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" then this will be familiar. Something from outer space descends to Earth, infecting people, resulting in changing behaviour etc. Emotions vanish, there appears to be a conspiracy, who knows what is going on!!! None of these aspects are covered particularly well in this dreadful remake.

Cast and acting: Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig can act well when required. Presumably, therefore, the fault in this sorry piece of cinema lies with the scripting and directing. Both Kidman and Craig are initially quite convincing, but they both appear to become bored and underwhelmed as they drift aimlessly through the film.

Exciting moments: To be honest with you, the film was so dull and lifeless that I changed channels to watch the news after an hour. I didn't bother to watch the end. If you have any sense then you won't either.

The Ninth Gate (1999)

Well worth a look!

[8/10 · 2 August 2011]

***May contain spoilers and stuff***

I hadn't seen this film in several years when I chanced across it on the telly a couple of nights ago. And I have to be honest, it was a lot better than I remembered.

Plot: It's all about the devil, books and witchcraft, with a bit of sex, violence and intrigue carefully mixed in for good measure. The film begins quite arrestingly, and then the plot slowly twists and turns, cleverly drawing you in.

Acting and casting: Johnny Depp is very credible as the aloof, arrogant, back-stabbing and very unlikable rare-book specialist Dean Corso who would cheerfully sell his own grandmother had he clearly not already done so. Frank Langella brings his not inconsiderable screen presence to the role of Boris Balkan, who employs Corso to do some digging for him; Balkan comes across as utterly chilling and not a little bit deranged. Lena Olin plays the psychotic vamp Liana Telfer, who is hell bent on getting her hands on Corso's package, using a combination of beauty, tight clothing and ruthless violence. Good stuff so far. Emmanuelle Seigner also turns in a good performance as a mysterious young woman who seems to inexplicably turn up throughout the film (don't want to spoil it)...

Music: Atmospheric, and very appropriate. Much better than in many lesser films of the genre, as one would expect of Polanski.

Setting: Some excellent locations were used, adding to the atmosphere.

Summary: If you are at all into suspense, mystery, horror or the supernatural then you will surely greatly enjoy this film.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Not quite what I expected

[6/10 · 1 August 2011]

***May contain spoilers***

But, then again, may not. After the crushing banality of Transformers 3, I had been desperately hoping for something less appalling to appear at the cinema. I didn't have to wait too long, as Captain America appeared shortly after the latest Bay disaster, so I rounded up some gym buddies and went to our local Vue.

Plot: There is one, and it is quite interesting. Set in WW2, we see that our hero is a big-hearted but small-framed young man, saddened by the departure of his friends for the front line while he is forced to remain back home in the USA. After numerous failed attempts at enlisting, he is finally spotted by a German scientist who can see his inner potential... Basically the plot is entertaining and will keep you hooked until about 75 minutes into the film, at which point it degenerates into a frenzy of special effects and action sequences. Following this I was rather bored.

Special effects: Abundant, and handled pretty well. At the beginning our hero has been digitally slimmed (so I read), and for a few minutes this is not too obvious. I did notice after a while, however, that his face and throat do not move correctly (or indeed very much) when he is talking, and once I had noticed that I found it rather irritating. The laser guns, explosions and aeroplanes all look fairly convincing. I didn't bother seeing it in 3D as 3D is generally disappointing.

Acting: Good. No wood here.

Cast: Chris Evans was appropriately cast, Tommy-Lee Jones performed admirably, Hugo Weaving was unintentionally hilarious, Dominic Cooper was spot on, but my attention was distracted throughout the film by the absolutely delightful Hayley Atwell.

Overall: Not bad at all for a superhero / comic book film, although a little (unsurprisingly) formulaic. Watch out for the vast quantities of "I love America!!!" cheese that literally flows out of the cinema screen at certain points...

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

Possibly the worst film I have ever seen

[2/10 · 11 July 2011]

****May contain spoilers for this awful movie****

Concise review: Rubbish, even worse than Avatar. Spend your money on something else.

Extended review: Despite having heard nothing good about this film, I was quite excited about going to see it. Transformers was pretty good, Transformers 2 was pretty bad, but I hoped that Michael Bay would at least make something approaching an effort with the third instalment of this money-spinning franchise.

Right...here goes...

Plot: there actually is one, and if you pay attention during the first soul-destroying hour then you can try to follow it, although by the end of the film you will realise that such plot as there is completely fails to make any logical sense. In a nutshell, Sentinel Prime (an Autobot) was escaping from Cybertron with some new technology, but the Decepticons shot up his ship and he drifted through space until he crashed into the moon. Later it transpires that Sentinel had made a pact with Megatron to work together, so why then was his ship being attacked at all?? Some nonsense about the space programme is chucked in to confuse and add idiocy.

Characters: Sam Witwitless returns as the slightly unconvincing wet who has amazingly attracted a model as his new ho. He continues to be annoying at every turn. His wench (I cannot even remember her name) is paper thin with no personality. The CGI characters are, as one would expect, almost completely lacking depth, aside from the fact that I went to see this film in 3d. Sam's parents return briefly for no obvious reason to reprise their roles and earn a few quid. There are some other characters but nobody who stands out in any way. Towards the end it is very difficult to distinguish between individual transformers as they start to all look the same.

Acting: Shia Lebeef manages to struggle unconvincingly throughout the film, although excels himself when being "terrified". Rosie Huntingdon-Poshbird doesn't act at all, simply because she clearly cannot. The long, lingering shots of her bum and legs at the beginning of the film clearly indicate why she was chosen - in fairness, she is quite tasty for a skinny bird, although after the first 30 minutes of the film her permanent pouty-lipped look makes you want to put a paper bag over her face, or at least a photo of Megan Fox. Mr Spok (Leonard Nimoy) is an interesting choice for the voice of Sentinel Prime. Overall the standard of acting is somewhat low, as one would expect.

Effects: There are lots of amazing CGI effects and stuff but personally I would have preferred 50% of the CGI budget to have been spent on the screenplay.

Soundtrack: Lots of overly cheesy music utterly spoils what atmosphere was present. Way too loud, too.

Length: At 2.5 hours long, this film is a killer. The first hour contained nothing of note and could have been put in the bin. At 90 minutes the film could have been slightly watchable.

One last thing: I would really like my money back. This film is on a par with National Lampoon's Men In White.

Piranha 3D (2010)

One for the fellas

[8/10 · 17 June 2011]

***May contain spoilers***

Possibly the best 3d film I have seen. The plot is OK, the casting is good, and there are plenty of curvy ladies and gory special effects. This film contains all of the elements of a great horror film - humour, outlandish plot, shocks, good visuals, pretty girls and as a bonus, the potential for a sequel.

I went to see this film expecting it to be rubbish, but it really isn't. Definitely more a film for the discerning male horror fan, as there is copious nudity. Indeed, Kelly Brook leaves very little to the imagination in the scene when she is swimming around stark naked under water.

UPDATE - Having seen several more 3D films now, I can confirm that Piranha is still the best thus far.

Avatar (2009)

Don't waste your time

[3/10 · 17 June 2011]

***May contain spoilers***

Where to begin? Hmm. OK, well, take away the CGI from this film and there is actually very little left: hackneyed plot, average acting and some utterly cringeworthy scenes. During one scene in particular (there were blue people waving their arms around in a crowd) my girlfriend and I actually burst out laughing in the cinema. From that scene onwards, any suspension of disbelief was suspended.

I was so disappointed with James Cameron after seeing this. Frankly I expect much better.

This film is probably OK for young people up to the age of ~18, and perhaps adults who are a little soft-headed, the rest shouldn't waste their time.

Collateral Damage (2002)

Dull

[5/10 · 17 June 2011]

***May contain spoilers***

Now I am a huge Arnie fan - Total Recall is one of my favourite films. But Collateral Damage really isn't. The plot is simply so far-fetched as to be ridiculous, and while Arnie could once pull this off as an indestructible killing machine, as a humble fireman-gone-bananas he sadly falls flat simply by attempting to be too ordinary.

I genuinely struggled to pay attention throughout this film, and although you always root for Arnie, his character doesn't really come alive and become exciting until later on. The twist at the end of the film was entertaining, but by then I was just past caring.

This film only just scraped 5/10.

633 Squadron (1964)

Great film, if a little depressing

[6/10 · 17 June 2011]

***May contain spoilers***

Wow. The De Havilland Mosquito is certainly the star of this film. What a beautiful, amazing aircraft.

Clichéd plot and tired special effects aside, this is an aviation classic with some beautiful shots of the Mosquito and some thrilling, scenic action sequences. The very dated effects in places slightly detract from the enjoyment of the film, but that said it is very easy to watch and perfect for a rainy Sunday afternoon when you have 91 free minutes.

If the plot and characters manage to draw you in, then be warned that there are some truly depressing moments, revealing some of the sacrifices made by service people during WW2. The deaths and horrific injuries come thick and fast, but fortunately the film is very sanitised (it is a PG) so the audience is spared witnessing graphic splatter and scorched flesh. The film does help to drive home the pointlessness and idiocy of war.

Definitely worth seeing.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)

I voluntarily saw this twice

[7/10 · 16 June 2011]

**May contain spoilers** (forgot to add this to my last two reviews, oops)

Finally Lucas has managed to get within reach of the sort of film that fans of the original trilogy want to see. Much better than the previous two frankly pathetic efforts, this film is also considerably darker, and is far removed from the massively over-Disneyfied Phantom Menace, which I really didn't like.

Clearly aimed at those over 12 years of age (unlike the previous two films) there are much more graphic (relatively) action sequences and this is not suitable for younger audiences (in my opinion).

The ending is somewhat predictable but handled very well.

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)

Anakin should play sports

[5/10 · 16 June 2011]

This film is all about urges, and the consequences of teenagers failing to resist them.

If Anakin had played some sport then he would have had less time to spend mooning over Natalie Portman and might have turned out a nice fella. Oh well.

This film is considerably better than The Phantom Menace, although that really isn't saying much. We are introduced to some more characters, although the CGI is quite annoying and detracts from enjoyment of the real actors. There is some plot, but nothing to get excited about. The highlight of the film is Christopher Lee's performance, and I was sad when his character failed to chop Yoda into little bits (although obviously I already knew that the irritating green fella would survive).

Again, one that fans of the original trilogy will find hugely disappointing.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

Star Wars meets Disney :-(

[4/10 · 16 June 2011]

I went to see this film three times. THREE. This is because various groups of friends / my girlfriend wanted to see it, and wanted me to go with them. What's done is done.

Plot: If you are at all familiar with the first Star Wars trilogy then you should have no problems discerning this for yourself.

Acting / Cast: Good cast, mostly. Ewan and Liam are always very watchable, although Ewan's accent is a major turn-off for those of us used to the crisp tones of Alec Guiness in the first trilogy. Jake Lloyd grated appallingly, but Natalie Portman was bearable. Terence Stamp is always highly watchable. Jar-Jar Binks was without doubt the most irritating character that I have ever had the misfortune to see on screen, ever, bar none.

Action: There is some. The 2nd and 3rd times I watched the film I slept through the "pod race" as it was overly long and really boring. Highlights have to be the light saber fights, which are well choreographed and spectacular. The space battles were ruined by the presence of the young Anakin.

Things I really didn't like: The name "Naboo", the Gungans, Jar-Jar flipping Binks, young Anakin's standard Hollywood child bowl-cut, young Anakin's character at all in fact, "my young Padawan", the Disney-like cartoon characters masquerading as actors to make the film appeal to kiddies and score $$$$$$$$$s, and the fact that the film was far too long. Oh, and the robots were annoying too.

Only really good part of the film: Darth Maul. Without him, I would have rated this 3/10.