Change Your Image
gftorain
Reviews
Zombie Honeymoon (2004)
New Genre: Chick Horror?
I like lipstick, the color pink and Wuthering Heights. I've never met a kitten that I didn't like, and I buy my hairspray at Costco for the volume discount. I live for shopping and chocolate... and terror.
"The chick in me loves the frosty side, but the maniac in me wants zombie-fy the chick in me" Too cool to see a complete romcom with a zombie lead. Looking for the humor still? The loyalty to the chick-flick formula is the joke, y'all. Stop looking for comedy, drama or horror. The concept of the film is the cake- watching it is the icing. Watch any Jennifer Anniston movie, then watch Zombie Honeymoon again. You'll see what I mean! Wish it had been a little more subtle in the title- I would have loved to have sneaked it past my cutesy little gal pals who still shrink from my black nail polish (oh, if only they knew).
Deadgirl (2008)
Ugh...
I guess I have a different take on this since I work with abused women and girls for a living. The violent behavior toward the dead girl is very similar to what I see on an almost a weekly basis. Trust me- some of the women who come into my care ARE the living dead- an empty shell that has had everything human beaten out of it.
So the boys' reactions don't surprise me at all. The "good" guy is only by default-n he simply doesn't do anything except whine, and is rewarded with his very own dead girl in the end.
I guess this hit a little too close to home for me. In my 8 years of working with these horribly used women, I've seen almost everything up close and personal. This movie isn't thought-provoking- just another day in the office for me.
Vanishing on 7th Street (2010)
The Book; It's the Book!
***SPOILER*** Sentient Black Matter, anyone? How about inter-dimensional rifts? Just because you can't see them doesn't mean they "vanished".
By the way- how did the elevator work without electricity? And why did the officer disappear while holding a flashlight, but the nurse was safe and sound after dropping hers, even though the surgical patient was "taken" just a few feet away? There are plenty of inconsistencies... too many for me to list.
This movie could have been so much more if the writers hadn't assumed that their entire audience would be well-versed in early American history, quantum theory, and general esoteric pursuits.
Jennifer's Shadow (2004)
If Someone Wants To Fill Me In On What I Missed...
I fell asleep halfway through. Ditto on the second attempt, though I did manage to catch a few scenes and the TWO annoying endings.
Jennifer annoyed me. By the end of the film, I didn't care what became of her.
Ms. Dunaway was once a great actress, but her lifted/filled/injected face just can't communicate emotion anymore. Guess that's why she resorted to near-comical melodrama for this part.
The ending (the second one) just made me wonder why the heck I bothered staying awake through (most) of the film.
If someone made it through the entire film and wants to explain just what the heck I missed, I'd appreciate it, since I'm not up to giving this bore-fest another run.
Du saram-yida (2007)
I Don't Get It
The opening scene is of a young boy in shock, reaching out to his (apparently) recently murdered mother. Who is this kid? It isn't the brooding "new guy" in school- he murdered his father. It isn't the boyfriend- his father tried to burn everyone to death. Mom, in her final act, shielded her son from the flames with her body.
Okay. So why was the aunt murdered? Is the brooding boy a demon? Who was the recluse? What did he have in connection with ANYONE? Is our lead character insane? I don't know much about Korean culture, but I find it odd that the parents of a high-schooler didn't bother with at least finding out the name of her adult boyfriend, whom they we well aware of. In a flash-back, we learn that the boyfriend blames our lead character for his ill-fortune, even though our lead character was a toddler in the flashback, and her father showed an act of charity. How were the two families connected?
If this review is muddled, choppy and not quite cohesive, then I've put you in the perfect mindset for "Voices"
Skyline (2010)
I Told You So...
...is what I imagine any one of the reviewers with negative posts would be saying to me right now. Not only were the negative reviews spot-on, but reading them was more entertaining than watching this movie. Cloverfield BARELY got away with the ambiguity angle- this movie simply leaves you in the dark completely. I get the feeling that the script was merely scaffolding for the (admittedly epic) visuals. There have been a lot of comparisons to Independence Day and the aforementioned Cloverfield. The similarities practically slap you in the face. And why the "shaky cam" moments? There is no pretense of "found footage", as in Cloverfield. See it if you must, but remember I told you so. And now I have met the minimum 10-line requirement.