Slarkshark Reviews

Smile (V) (2022)

Creepy But Too Similar

[6/10 · 11 May 2024]

The movie overall and its effects looked good, and I didn't mind the acting at all. There are of course the typical bonehead decisions that are always made in horror films, though my biggest issue is with the story and how this entity or curse attaches itself to its victims. It totally reminded me of 'The Ring'. I haven't seen 'It Follows', but from everything I've read it's the same as well. So yes, that's my main criticism as well.

One thing for sure, it had me looking over my shoulder expecting to see some sort of shadow figure down a dark hall in my home. A shiver down your spine is to be expected.

Argylle (2024)

So Wrong So Fast

[4/10 · 9 May 2024]

A bit of a love child between 'Bullet Train' and 'The Lost City', except 'Argylle' is so much worse than both of those films.

It's wild to think this movie wasn't actually too bad for the first half, heck even arguably the first two thirds were fine. And then it goes off the rails so incredibly fast and hard it really is difficult to believe. It begs the question as to why? It's a silly spy movie if course, but that doesn't mean go full stupid. Remember RDJ's line to Ben Stiller in 'Tropic Thunder' about never going full (blank)... yeah it did that. Never do that.

I hate to say it because she seems like such a sweet heart, but Bryce Dallas Howard was not casted well. Sam Rockwell can hardly do wrong, and he's the brightest spot here, but he can only carry so much.

Honestly, I just don't know what happened. It almost seemed like they were running out of time and slapped the last third of the film together and went "yup, that should work". That brings up another point, it was way too long. It dragged on and on. It just wouldn't end.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)

Weakest Entry of the "Real" Ghostbuster Films

[7/10 · 8 May 2024]

I would rank this entry 4th among the Ghostbuster movies, so last (we don't talk about or even acknowledge that reboot abomination).

There's not really anything wrong with this film, it just seems like a bit of a safe family outing movie with a teen who is coming of age. Everything looked good and all, it just seemed a bit bland.

'Afterlife' had the perfect amount of nostalgia mixed in with their story and new characters. 'Frozen Empire' tries to continue that nostalgia formula with their established new characters, but it just comes across a little flat. The build up to the villain is long but then his reign of terror is very short lived.

The main thing to consider is that this film does no injustices to the franchise. It's all very much within the same vein and stays true to it's name.

London Boulevard (2010)

Bloody Punks

[7/10 · 7 May 2024]

Colin Farrell just does it for me. Actually, mostly everyone on this film did it for me. Knightley, Thewlis, and Winstone were all great in their roles.

The movie is an English gangster flick with a cool as ice Farrell. With an arsenal of quality actors and diologue, it had tons of potential, and sadly for whatever reason I can't get past the idea that it just doesn't utilize all of that potential. It's missing something, but it's difficult to say what exactly.

The ending is full of irony, and it's one that will leave you devastated, which I hate nine times out of ten and this was not the one time.

Flipper (1996)

The Dolphin Saves the Day

[6/10 · 6 May 2024]

A fun 90's film, that takes place in the Florida Keys and suitable for the whole family.

I can understand Elijah Wood's obsession with going to the Chili Peppers concert. I finally went two years ago and it was such a blast.

I watched thisvas a kid, but pretty much had zero memory of it. It's essentially a cross between 'Free Willy' and 'Into the Blue', except not as good as either of those films.

It's hard for me to shake the image of Paul Hogan as Crocodile Dundee, but he does well with his role. And who would have thought Wood would become the famous Frodo Baggins when this film came out. Not me.

Dances with Wolves (1990)

Western Epic Worthy of it's Extended Run Time

[8/10 · 1 May 2024]

This western epic has a lot of good things going for it. First of all, the cinematography is outstanding, especially in the extended version. Second, the effects, props, costumes, and stunts were amazing. Then, the acting is great as well.

'Dances with Wolves' is not a truly unique story, there are many iterations of similar told stories, and there have been many that have been told since this film. However, if anything, that only speaks to it being a story that people enjoy being told, and this film is no exception.

This is not my favourite Kevin Costner film, but it would be completely fair to say that it's his greatest achievement.

The Way Way Back (2013)

No Pattern on My Quarter. Cut Your Own Path

[7/10 · 30 April 2024]

A coming of age story for a shy, angry, awkward, and unhappy 14 year old. It's a film with a lot of down points throughout, and many characters you'd love to just punch in the face, but there's some really great moments that will undoubtedly make you smile.

No dispute from me, this is a well made and well acted film. Steve Carell again shows of his range, because he's never been so unlikeable. Sam Rockwell, in true Sam Rockwell fashion, is amazing and extremely loveable. No matter who you are, if you're able to have that much of an impact on someone's life, especially at that stage in life, you are a hero.

The only thing that really got me, and this is not a criticism, it's a me not you scenario, is that it was almost too much awkwardness for me to handle. Just be ready for that.

Harry and the Hendersons (1987)

Bookmis in Seattle

[7/10 · 29 April 2024]

'Harry and the Hendersons' is an 80's classic, no doubt. Watching this nowadays makes me appreciate the effort filmmakers put in to make a decent suit that a person could actually wear and utilize prosthetics. If this was made today, there is no doubt in my mind Harry would 100 percent be done with CGI. That's just the age we live in now, for better or worse.

This is a great family film with a good message, and that's coming from someone who hunts, though not a proponent of trophy hunting. You could say the film is anti-hunting, but I think it's more about respecting nature.

Who knows, maybe Bigfoot, Bookmis, Sasquatch, or whatever name you may call him, is out there in the woods. And maybe he is a lovable giant, or maybe he'd just like to rip your limbs off. Whatever the case, I'd still like to believe there's a 0.1 percent chance he's out there.

Papillon (I) (2017)

Stays True, but Lacks Heart

[7/10 · 27 April 2024]

A remake that stays very true to the original. It cuts down run time on certain middle sequences, while expanding on the beginning and ending.

The casting choices were spot on. Charlie Hunnam looks the part, and I could easily see Steve McQueen playing the same character, though Hunnam's acting was more reminiscent of Jax Teller in 'Sons of Anarchy'. Rami Malek, also looked and played the part of Louis Dega very well. I wonder if Dustin Hoffman watched it and what his thoughts were.

It's a good movie, but is ultimately inferior to its predecessor, as it doesn't bring anything else to the table other than what was already mentioned. The original had more emotional feel to it, and honestly seemed more brutal, even though the remake was more graphic.

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023)

Campy Fever Dream

[4/10 · 23 April 2024]

Boy, the DCEU would have been much better off ending on any other note than this... which in my opinion is the worst entry of the DCEU (and that's saying something because 'WW84' was atrocious). And that's not even taking any of the Amber Heard drama into account.

Many times, I just found myself thinking, what am I even watching? It's non-sensical, and campy beyond belief. I thought the first one was bad in that department, but it has nothing on the sequel.

Patrick Wilson is the only actor that is actually okay. Everyone else, and especially Jason Momoa are just bad. The dialogue is seriously some of the worst I've heard in awhile.

My desire to watch this film was so thin, but I'm a completionist and felt obligated for some stupid reason and I hate myself for it.

Civil War (2024)

Frontline Immersion

[9/10 · 21 April 2024]

It was a good idea to keep the sides vague as possible as far as politics go. If you're trying to figure out which side is democratic and which is republican, you may have a difficult time. There are elements mixed in from both parties on both sides. Case in point is the Western Forces consists of Texas and California. It intentionally avoids all discussions of politics and focuses solely on a country at war with itself, and the consequences of such a war. I applaud Garland for portraying the film this way. It opens the topic up to important discussions while remaining neutral and unbiased.

Dunst is very good in her role as war journalist/photographer. It's crazy to think how long she has been in this business (think 'Interview with a Vampire' and 'Jumanji') and she's done well in a wide variety of roles.

The final act was intense (along with many other scenes), but you definitely felt immersed and on the streets with the boots on the ground.

It was also great to see my Canadian dollar finally have some value.

Shot Caller (2017)

Goes Hard

[8/10 · 13 April 2024]

No comedy or wisecracks with this one. This film is dead serious from the onset and goes hard all the way through.

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau has had many great roles throughout his career, but I'd say this is his strongest performance to date as a lead character. He is a force in this one. The range displayed with this character going from one spectrum of society to the complete opposite is shocking as it is convincing.

Not surprising that this is directed by Ric Roman Waugh, as he's known for good crime/prison dramas/thrillers with serious tones.

Truly an underrated gem that is hidden amongst a lot of other Hollywood trash.

Road House (2024)

Meh, as Expected

[6/10 · 12 April 2024]

I'm not opposed to remakes. They can do their own thing, or a reimagining of the original, as long as it doesn't disrespect what came before. And I don't think this remake disrespects the original or Swayze. It does it's own thing, adds a modern flare, but keeps the core principle of the movie; a bouncer that cleans up a bar.

I always like Jake Gyllenhaal, and as with pretty much every role he takes, he was great in his role as Dalton and owned it. Billy Magnussen is always entertaining, but he plays a fairly generic spoiled brat character type in this one, but hey that's his role and so I can't fault him for that. McGregor's debut is pretty much him just playing himself, but even more over the top. It's like Liman whispered in his ear and said, "just be yourself, but crank it up to 20".

Speaking of which, I'm actually a bit surprised this is directed by Doug Liman. He's made some fantastic action films with stunning fight choreography and effects, but I have to say, 'Road House' was disappointing in both of those areas. The CGI was atrocious (the truck backing up on the bridge jeeezz). The CGI assisted fights were actually not horrendous, but needs work. I give props for maybe trying something new, but like they say, it's not always best to fix what 'aint broke.

Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

The Marsh is Full of Beauty... and Death

[8/10 · 6 April 2024]

I didn't know anything about this film, and just thought it looked interesting in a indie kind of way. I'm glad I checked it out.

The only actor I was any bit familiar with was David Strathairn, and I loved his character. It is so refreshing when there is common decency in the world, as we are so often bombarded with bawdiness. And so keeping that in mind, this film was very believable. I could see an outcast girl like that being taken advantage of and treated so poorly by those who should of been kind neighbours, except only a select few were.

The film itself and the cinematography are absolutely beautiful and worth a watch based on that alone.

Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey (1993)

Best Live Action Talking Animal Movie Ever

[9/10 · 4 April 2024]

No CGI, all real animals, yet everything meticulously done with the animals welfare in mind. If you actually read up on how they achieved a lot of these scenes it's amazingly creative.

I have so much nostalgia with this film, but even so, I've watched it a couple times as an adult and I really don't think there's any denying that it's an incredible movie as much as it's an incredible journey. It definitely remains a staple of my childhood viewing. Shadow, Chance, and Sassy will always be three of my favourite movie pets.

The voice acting for all three animals is excellent, but Michael J. Fox really is something else. What an absolute gem.

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)

It's Been Emotional

[9/10 · 3 April 2024]

When the world was introduced to Guy Ritchie. In fact, the world was also introduced to Jason Statham at the same time.

By now, the world is very familiar with Ritchie's style, though he has been changing it up every so often (see 'The Covenant'). It's a style that I love, and many do. Does he always nail it? No, he doesn't, but he does more often than not, and in the case of his first feature film, he absolutely crushes it.

An interwoven British comedy gangster film with outstanding witty dialogue. Proof you do not need a big budget to make a fantastic film. A good story complete with coherent writing and above average acting will do the trick just fine.

Dune: Part Two (2024)

Yup, It Really Is Good

[10/10 · 1 April 2024]

I came in with huge expectations for part two. I expected it to be better than the first, and had heard nothing but good things from trusted sources. Well, I'd say those expectations were met.

It is by no means my favourite movie or anything, and even though I give it a 10, it's more of a 9.5 for me. It's got great action scenes, which are spread out through the lengthy run time (which is not a negative). The cinematography is amazing, which at this point, is just the standard from anything directed by Denis Villeneuve.

I got nothing bad to say about the acting as it's all pretty well top notch. I absolutely loved that Chistopher Walken was in this, though I would have loved to see him walk without rhythm (Fatboy Slim - Weapon of Choice reference).

All I gotta say is... they better damn well make a part 3.

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)

Project Powerhouse

[7/10 · 30 March 2024]

Lots of Titans fighting. That's why we go to something like this, right?

G X K is about the same for entertainment wise as G vs K, though I'd give the newest entry a slight edge for a couple of reasons. For one, there's a bit less silliness. There's comic relief of course, but it's not out of place or goofy. The 80's throwbacks with the tunes, synths, and vibes were great. And lastly, the Titans were back to being the bad guys instead of humans. I always find it a bore when you watch a movie about monsters fighting, but have to bare through a story of human villains and their idiotic ideologies.

A side note, it's hilarious that these Titans seem to really enjoy having their royal rumbles in the biggest cities on the planet, or while destroying some of the world's most revered structures. Like really guys, you couldn't have thrown down in the middle of the Sahara? More destruction equals more entertainment I suppose. Also, Godzilla just casually murders hundreds if not thousands just walking around from point A to point B. I digress. Go pink Zilla!

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010)

Money May Never Sleep, but People Do

[6/10 · 28 March 2024]

I watched this right on the heels of the first one. The acting overall is better in the sequel, but the story is less engaging. It lacks any real power punch climax, and even when it happens it feels lackluster and pretty blah.

Using the 2008 collapse was an opportunity for a 'Wall Street' sequel that simply could not be passed on. It made perfect sense and I'm glad they capitalized on it. I'm also glad they were able to sneak Bud Fox in there.

Gordon Gekko gets up to some of his old tricks, but the sequel also serves as a bit of a redemption arc for him too.

The film obviously has an updated look and feel, but Stone uses a few canera gimmicks that just end up being weird. Simply put, the film does not succeed its predecessor.

Wall Street (1987)

Doesn't do it for Me

[6/10 · 23 March 2024]

I'd say if you're going to watch a "wall street" movie, just watch 'The Wolf of Wall Street'. I'm not even a huge fan of that film either, but it's simply way more entertaining.

'Wall Street' may be a bit dated, but Stone does a fine job directing, and Douglas gives a monster performance, in more ways than one. But then that's pretty much it. I thought Sheen and every other character boring or were poorly acted. Most of the performances, other than Douglas felt very wooden and stiff.

There's no doubt that Gordon Gekko is the bad guy here. But he was right about a few things. Greed can sometimes be good, it won't benefit you to get emotional about money, and a painting can never match the sun rise (or set) over the ocean in person. That beach scene was my favourite.

The Bank Job (2008)

She is a Scallywag

[8/10 · 20 March 2024]

A bank heist film that deserves to be mentioned among the best.

It took me a long time to watch this film, as I thought it was just another typical cheesy Jason Statham movie with an uninspired title. It most definitely isn't. It almost has a Guy Ritchie feel to it (though that could just be because it stars Statham and is set in 1970's England). I loved that the heist is not the climax, it's the fallout. Another aspect that makes this a cool film, is that it's based on a true story.

'The Bank Job' is one of Statham's best as a leading character. David Suchet as Lew Vogel was another character that I found was very well done.

The Kingdom (2007)

Kill'em All

[8/10 · 19 March 2024]

Regardless of which side, this is the message.

That being said, I'm sure there is a special place in hell for terrorist bombers, and I'd love to see the look on their faces when they're not greeted by their promised virgins.

For about a 13 year span from 2003-2016, Peter Berg was consistently one of my favourite directors. That span of course included 'The Kingdom', which is my fourth favourite film of his.

The beginning of the film starts off with a bang. Then the investigation happens, and this is where the film drags a bit. It makes some broad leaps in the investigation process, and would have benefitted from a bit more in depth analysis, which is what I think Berg wanted, but was constrained by the studio. The climax is intense and gritty, both of which Berg is known for, and it really delivers in the final stage.

All four actors, consisting of Foxx, Garner, Cooper, and Bateman are believable and entertaining.

The Silencing (2020)

Monsters Need to Suffer

[7/10 · 17 March 2024]

A murder mystery thriller set in a community that has no shortage of issues. As a result, the characters have plenty of their own issues, which gives the film a dark and depressing vibe throughout.

'The Silencing' is not bad, and quite enjoyable, but as others have said, is a pale comparison to similar films such as 'Wind River'.

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, most known as Jamie Lannister in 'Game of Thrones', is believable and plays his character well. Annabelle Wallis is a decent actress and she is okay in this, although there were a few line deliveries that were noticeably bad.

A note taken from the film.... In this world, only people can be evil.

Get Shorty (1995)

Look at Me (While Intensely Staring)

[8/10 · 16 March 2024]

'Get Shorty' is a great Hollywood satire that is cleverly put together and intertwines wise guys, the people of la la land, and narcos.

John Travolta is at the top of his game as the smooth talking, cool as ice, Chili Palmer. He's a loan shark, who happens to be very good at his job, but has grown tired of working for the same old uninspired mob bosses and decides to get into the movie business. He slides in so effortlessly it almost makes one think it would be easy to make it big as big shot executive.

The dialogue is very good throughout the film and I would categorize it as a intellectual comedy, similar to a Tarantino style of comedy, which is never a bad thing.

Cape Fear (1991)

Truth and Justice

[7/10 · 14 March 2024]

Well I'll admit I have not seen the original, but thought it was a good gesture to have Gregory Peck and Robert Mitchum in the remake.

This is a role I don't think I've seen Robert De Niro in and it surprised me. He was absolutely creepy and diabolical. You could say his character in 'Taxi Driver' is most similar, but really they're quite different.

Scorsese is a master filmmaker, and he is able to double down on the intensity of the film, that truly gives it that edge of your seat feeling. I'm not sure if it's because I'm watching this for the first time in 2024, or if it was meant to be filmed a certain way in homage to the original, but to me it seemed dated and just an overall old timey film feel. Not really a criticism, just an observation.

I'll agree with De Niro getting a Oscar nominee for his character, but not for Juliette Lewis. There was nothing impressive about her performance to me.