david_crutchley Reviews

eXistenZ (1999)

This film is the one I mention when...

[1/10 · 3 October 2011]

... I want to give an example of a truly rotten film.

It's is the only film where I was tempted to walk out halfway through. By the end wished I had.

People say it is original. It isn't. It's a direct rip-off of Videodrome and there's not a single original idea in there Or at least not one that was worth having.

I could imagine Blair Witch Project being worse, but since I haven't seen that, eXistenZ ranks as the worst film I have ever seen. By some distance.

Am I up to 10 lines yet? Because I'll just start getting rude if I have to talk about this film any more.

The Fall (I) (2006)

A poor man's Baron Munchausen.

[2/10 · 3 October 2011]

OK folks, this is my first ever IMDb review and I am not expecting a lot of support.

Why not? Because everyone else on IMDb seems to love it but I didn't. Not only didn't I love it, it bored the pants off me.

Let's look at the storyline... A girl in a hospital is told a story by a grown up patient (an injured stuntman) in the same hospital and she imagines it's real. We see her 'imagination' (presumably).

I'm clearly in the minority here but none of the characters in the "story" made me feel empathetic, and nor did either of the "real-life" patients.

Sure, in places it was pretty to look at, but you won't find a more shallow storyline anywhere in cinematic history. The visuals make me give it a 2, but otherwise it would struggle to score even 1.

It possibly might keep the kids interested, but if you're an adult watching on your own, forget it. I wouldn't waste your time if I were you. If you want to see a better version of the same story watch The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, (but be prepared for a rather dull opening 25 minutes after which it improves immeasurably). That film has intrigue, adventure, better imagination, better visuals, better characters... Better. Much better.

Drop Dead Fred (1991)

Calvin and Hobbes in Film Form

[19 May 2003]

Drop Dead Fred is essentially a film version of grown-up Calvin and Hobbes - except the real kid is the good one, and the imaginary friend is naughty.

There are so many original, funny, creative scenes in the film that it is worth watching for those alone.

Having said that, I did find the film a little boring until Fred's introduction. After that, however, there isn't a boring moment to be seen.

Rik Mayall plays the part perfectly, Phoebe Cates is excellent and the costumes are superb too.

I would whole-heartedly recommend this film to anybody who still holds on to a bit of the child in them. I'm still clinging to mine and I hope I never lose grip.