SumrKindofWonderful Reviews

Gene Simmons: Family Jewels (2006–2012)

"This...looks like a groupie. Do not talk to her."

[9/10 · 10 August 2006]

Gene Simmons: Family Jewels is a fresh, entertaining, and enjoyable show.

Unlike the Osbournes, Gene's children - Nick and Sophie - have obvious respect for their parents and are amazing at improv. This show has non-stop laughs that aren't cheap, and leave you thinking about them for a while. The episodes are watchable over and over, and never seem to get old.

Family Jewels has little to no faults. I personally cannot think of any - it's just a great show! I greatly encourage all to take a peak, you won't be disappointed!

King Arthur (2004)

Choose your fate. Choose your destiny. Chose your opinion wisely about 'King Arthur'...

[7/10 · 12 July 2004]

King Arthur, Directed by: Antoine Fuqua, Starring: Clive Owen, Ioan Gruffyd (Gruffudd), Keira Knightly, Rating: 4/5

This is my review of the 'true' story of King Arthur. Read on if you wish, I just had to get my opinion online.

First off, the entire cast fit their roles. I did not feel anyone was out of place at all on screen. They all did a terrific job but I must say, the one who stands out the most is Ioan as Lancelot. This is a highly underrated actor and I hope King Arthur will give him a boost in his career.

I do not think that anyone else could have pulled that character off as well as he did. Thumbs up for Clive as Arthur and Keira as Guinevere, both did a fantastic job.

Now, the story. For all of you people out there who are upset that it did not follow the legends, well, sorry to burst your bubble but it *isn't* supposed to be the same as the other 'Arthurs'. This is, according to the filmmakers, the true story of the man who became king. A demystified, definitely more realistic, and BETTER version. No lady-of-the-lake mumbo jumbo, and Merlin is not a wizard, but a leader of the Woads.

Warrior Guinevere. From what I heard on these boards, Keira was this huge, sword-swinging tough chick that takes away the view on Arthur and puts it on her. Ahem, no. The ONLY time Keira picks up a sword is at the VERY END. Yes, she uses a bow twice before that, but really, would you rather have another pathetic, useless, sobbing Guinevere as the others have been? I definitely wouldn't. Warrior Guinevere did NOT ruin this fantastic movie.

I had very low expectations for this film when I went and seen it yesterday.

But I came out of that theatre amazed and practically stunned at how you people could bash such a movie. It was wonderful, better than Gladiator, and one that will definitely be sitting on my shelf when it comes out on DVD. But not as a dust collector.

4/5 = A-

Troy (2004)

The Epic to Beat

[10/10 · 6 June 2004]

Title: Troy Directed By: Wolfgang Peterson Starring: Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom, Peter O'Toole, Brian Cox, Brenden Gleeson, Sean Bean, Rose Byrne, Diane Kruger Rating: 8/10

Where to start, where to start? Troy is, in my opinion, one of the greatest achievements in film history. The reviews are quite mixed, some like it, some don't. Thats the way it is with this film though, you either love it or you hate it. There is no "middle", really. That is what is killing this movie when it comes to the feedback. Fortunately, though, the majority of the reviews are positive.

I have seen this film 3 times in the theatre. Each time is just got even better. I had never read The Iliad before I saw Troy. I vaguely knew the story, just the fact that the Greeks destroyed Troy by tricking them with a Trojan Horse. 'The Simpsons' helped somewhat on the background, as they also had an episode on The Trojan War. Of course, though, I didn't take everything to be entirely correct, whether it be The Simpsons or Troy. When it comes to a historical film, it is very rare you find one that is completely free of Hollywood's twists and additions.

Homer purists will HATE this movie. Well, most of them anyways. Each purist I have spoken to have not liked this movie. It goes the same with LOTR purists. They are so attached with the original story that they cannot bend the lines a bit. Since Troy is so far off from The Iliad (remember, people, it was "Inspired By", NOT based!) they just cannot cope with all of the changes. Both minor and major.

People have to understand, though. When you hear a historical story is going to be made into a major summer blockbuster, with an A-List cast, do you REALLY think they will stick to the story completely? Yes, I assumed they wouldn't stray as far off as they did with Troy, but still. The people on these boards are over-reacting just a tad. I expect some emails yapping about this or that, but honestly? I don't care, and you want to know why? This is my personal opinion.

Yes, if you say "Well, me not liking Troy is my personal opinion, too." Thats true! It is! But those who are spamming the boards with "TROY SUCKS" or "WHAT A TERRIBLE FILM, JUST TERRIBLE!" and not even giving a good reason why they didn't like it, just don't seem to get that this is a Hollywood version of The Iliad.

So, please, please, PLEASE think your post/review over before posting it here. Troy was a fantastic, entertaining film, and all of the actors did a wonderful job in their roles. I don't mind negative posts that are maturely written, but if you think that typing in all caps will get people to respect your opinion, I'm sorry. It ain't gunna happen.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

Drink up me 'arties yo ho! Depp's finest performance!

[9/10 · 18 July 2003]

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL (2003) Rating out of four: **** Starring: Johnny Depp, Geoffery Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly Directed by Gore Verbinski

Where to start?

This movie is exactly what people need this summer. It has it all, comedy, adventure, action, and a slight bit of horror.

The acting is absolutely amazing! Everyone played their part spot-on. This is definately Johnny Depp's finest performance. The way he slurs his lines when he talks, his face and hand gestures, and the way he walks around like he's drunk all the time hit a good spot with the audience. Depp stole the show. Geoffery Rush was fantastic as Captain Barbossa, him and his crewmates adding creepyness to the movie. Keira Knightly anf Orlando Bloom did a fine performance. I was especially pleased with Knightly's. As an 18-year-old actress, she acts like she's been doing it for years and years, worthy of a best supporting actress award.

As for the rest of the movie. CGI wasn't absolutely stunning but it did it's part. Showing us what the curse of the aztec gold had on the pirates. I enjoyed the scenes of the beautiful landscape and waters of the Caribbean, especially that one little island that Jac..(sorry) Captain Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swann were marooned on.

Drink up me 'arties yo ho!