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PaulWFranklin
He quit a perfectly good engineering degree to write films. He still doesn't regret it.
He has written, produced, edited and directed a plethora of content, including commercials, short films, music videos etc, and is also a published author.
Most notably, he has made award-winning adverts for PlayStation and Shell, and his 2021 short horror film 'Viola' has been selected for numerous festivals already, winning several accolades including Best Horror, Best Director and Best Cinematography.
Outside of movies he enjoys rugby, travel and correcting people's grammar. He played a 'Deatheater' in the final Harry Potter film, and as a choirboy he once sang to the Pope.
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Les glaneurs et la glaneuse (2000)
I Gleaned a Lot from This
I'd been wanting to see this for decades, then it came up on Mubi, to my joy.
This is such a delightful, humanitarian documentary. Agnes has a slightly bonkers childlike perspective, in a genuine old-skool way of shoving a camera in someone's face and enticing them to be real.
There are some curious characters, including the man with a Masters Degree at the end, and the Lawyer who walks among cabbages :D
This might feel ancient to some, but despite being 20+ years old, it still addresses the topics of food waste and homelessness that are all too current these days, not to mention the re-acquiring of fridges and clothing. If you don't like the subtitles you could almost have the American Beauty 'plastic bag' theme play over it.
Just watch it.
Road House (2024)
Out House
If you go into this expecting a good film then you'll be disappointed. But if you leave your brain at the door then you'll probably enjoy this trashy fight-fest - as indeed I did. In that respect, it's more of a 5-6 out of 10.
BUT the movie thinks it is better than that, and takes itself too seriously.
For something of this budget, they somehow forgot to pay someone to write the script (who knows, maybe it was even done by AI; they read the first draft and thought "Yeah that'll do").
Bar manager Frankie hires down-and-out Dalton to protect her bar, which is getting trashed daily by some bad guys. The Head Baddie wants to get rid of the place for some reason I don't recall. This man has never heard of Fire - which would've made this film blissfully short.
His thugs go and knock a few tables over, before Dalton (Jake G) beats them up ... and kindly drives them to hospital. Because that's like, funny, yeah?
But thank god he does, because he meets Sexy Nurse Ellie, who tells him off for giving her more work. She's the 'love interest' which is ironically not that interesting.
Other stuff happens. An endless supply of Live Bands play, unfazed by all the violence. A nasty crocodile kills one of the thugs - Deus Ex Crocina. And Connor McGregor plays himself x 10 (but thankfully doesn't take up much screen time).
It all adds up to not much. Near the start, Frankie mentions that Ernest Hemingway used to live near the bar. When he gets off the Greyhound coach, Dalton meets a young girl who works in a book shop, which might've been a nice point for him to buy The Old Man and the Sea, to read on his boat... but no.
Like Santiago in that novella, this film sets out on a big adventure, but ultimately comes home with nothing.
Silo: Machines (2023)
Science Fiction without any Science.
*NB: If you've just watched this episode and come here to confirm your suspicions - don't worry, the rest of the series is good.*
I thought I might've been the only one who took issue with the failings of this episode, but no - seems half the Internet are steam generator experts!
This is just pure melodrama. Like if Michael Bay directed an episode of the Teletubbies.
OMG the (only) generator that hasn't needed fixing for 140 years is slightly off-kilter. Better get the only person out of 10,000 who knows how to fix it... and her young trainee. Who for a brief minute we think is going to get stuck in the machine and turned into mince, but instead heroically... wait for it... slots a blade into a really obvious slot with no skills or tools whatsoever.
PHEW!
I could go on... I mean, if you spray water at a red hot piece of metal, that water will probably spray back in your face as vapour/steam/boiling liquid and burn your face.
It's unfathomable that somebody in the writing dept didn't flag this and suggest an alternative.
The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse (2022)
Gobsmacked.
I cannot for the life of me imagine why this has such a high rating.
I had high hopes, but they were dashed and I was left feeling confounded.
We start with a boy, wandering in the snow, seemingly miles from home - if he even has a home, or family, as that's never mentioned. He meets a mole who's obsessed with cake.
Henceforth, they go to try and find 'home', and the rapid descent to schmaltz begins.
Almost every line is a very on-the-nose attempt at imparting some kind of wisdom or life tip. When asked what he wants to be when he grows up, the boy replies "Kind".
NO kid of 10 or whatever he is ever speaks like that.
And it continues like this for 30 long, dull minutes, during which we meet the fox, a horse, and learn more life lessons than we could ever need.
They finally reach 'home' ... but then the boy says that home isn't a place, it's a feeling.
*Splutter*
And they all sit outside in the snow, staring at the stars.
A particularly unrealistic and saccharine ending. This starts off feeling like it might be another 'Snowman', but it's lacking any charm or that warm feeling - like a snowman made from yellow snow that has just melted on the living room carpet.
Cocaine Bear (2023)
Comedown Bear
I never expected this to be a cerebral film. I hoped it'd be fun and a bit mad, but overall it was a disappointment.
There's great potential here. The kind of escapist slightly crazy film (like Everything, Everywhere...) that people seem to be enjoying lately. But it just lacks something.
The premise is decent, but there's a lack of a real goal amongst the characters. Some of the deaths, attacks and cocaine-related action etc are fun, but there could've been more.
Between my friend and I, we both found ourselves drifting off and checking our phones - not something I'd normally do.
Maybe I'll make 'Cocaine Croc' and be sure to give it more bite...
The Mandalorian: Chapter 22: Guns for Hire (2023)
Actually - THIS is the worst episode.
Recently, I claimed that episode 2 was the worst episode by far.
I have changed my mind.
For this episode makes 'The Mines of Mandalore' seem quite good.
The tone is just way off. You know if Jack Black's in it that it's going to be a bit jolly. And even though he was a diluted version of his usual self, this feels like some fun Disney chapter to get kids interested in it. It's colourful and garish and is nothing like the 'Wild West' feel that we love about The Mandalorian.
Or should that now be The Mandalorienne?
Bo Katan yet again features way too much, and I dunno what Din wotsit is even doing here.
Oh and ... a droid bar?! A bar ... for droids?? Are you kidding me?
There was a brief return to normality with a bit of a fight at the end, but otherwise this episode is a write-off.
Consign it to a trash compactor and move along.
I have spoken.
The Mandalorian: Chapter 18: The Mines of Mandalore (2023)
Worst Episode by Far
Prepare for your eyes to roll... and not in a good way.
There are so many "WTF" moments in this episode. I've never before felt compelled to write a review of a single episode of a show, but I was today. Shocked it's rated over 8* to be honest.
So Mando really wants to fix that killer droid so it can protect him in the Mines, but that annoying woman on Tattoutine (like someone from an 80s Jim Henson film, with an 80s perm) says she doesn't have the part. BUT somehow persuades Mando to take a run-down droid to check Mandalore's air quality.
Mando flies off, and gives us loads of exposition via conversation with Grogu.
They get to Mandalore and just happen to land on a nice flat bit of rock - which is super handy because the droid (like a taller version of R2D2) has 3 legs with wheels. The droid disappears, so Mando just exits the plane anyway.
Cue some baddies that also look like they escaped from an 80s Jim Henson film (possibly Labyrinth), who he struggles to kill. Then he gets captured by a robot thing. Where were all the missiles etc in his arm? He's been in way harder fights.
So then he tells Grogu to go get Bo Katan. Suddenly the lil kid can fly a space ship (or did the droid fly it?), and Bo Katan flies them back to Mandalore to rescue the poor Mandalorian.
Bo Selecta saves him... and then guides him directly to the magic water he came to bathe in. BORING.
He goes for a swim, and suddenly disappears... plummeting to the bottom far, far below more quickly than imaginable. (Maybe he was dragged down by a big monster, but it's not clear.) So in goes Bo Katan to save his butt yet again.
Shocking. I was honestly open-mouthed, wondering how on earth they made an episode that bad - ironic since there's a writers' strike at the moment, but maybe there was another one a year ago which led to this rock-bottom load of pants.
Terrifier (2016)
For the Gore Purists
If you're after a gripping story and an intriguing baddie, then this is not the film for you.
But if you love gore, and a maniac killing just for the hell of it, then you'll enjoy this.
The low budget is evident - mainly in that the film feels very 'small'. The locations are few, and we don't really see any of the town. Also, the cast is minimal - which is fine, but the two female leads have apparently been out to a Halloween party, yet seem to be the only two people in town. It's very quiet ... too much so. No street noise, no other party-goers staggering past ... not even a taxi apparently.
The story, too, is very thin.
I also didn't find Art the Clown scary at all. Pennywise is much creepier.
However, there is gore aplenty, including an awesome, bloody centre-piece. There are also a few jump scares (if a little predictable). So overall if you like a gory mindless slasher, then you should enjoy this.
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)
An Embarrassing Mess ... and this is why.
Every so often, a film comes along that redefines the genre.
This film is not that.
Yes, the movie that threatened to "Ruin your childhood" has been released. The film that was ranked 2nd in IMDb's list of Most Anticipated Movies of 2023 - behind Barbie - has screened in cinemas in Mexico, and now Europe ... and it is ....
Terrible.
Absolutely god-awful. Probably the biggest let-down in the history of film? Certainly on a hype-to-disappointment ratio.
This piece had gradually produced hype - like a super-massive star sucking in everything around it and about to go supernova - from around May last year, dividing people into two extreme camps: "I can't wait to see this!" or "I hate you, this is going to ruin my childhood!"
I've worked with director Rhys and producer Scott. And while I have nothing much against Rhys, I dislike Scott with a passion. So any criticism of Winnie one must take with a pinch of salt, but I will try to give you an unbiased view.
So let's talk FACTS.
There's been much speculation around the budget of the film - varying wildly from £15k to $1M. I know for a fact that generally all their films thus far have been made for around £5,000 (~$6,000). Yes, a minuscule amount. And usually filmed in just 6 days.
Scott Jeffreys - via his 3 production companies - has a deal with ITN (and other distributors) where the latter buy the movies for about $15-20k, while Scott and any other producers take a chunk off the top. The crew get paid a small amount up front, and the actors (apparently) work on a deferred basis, embracing the fact that Scott plasters their images all over Socials.
But I also know that Winnie had at least 2 reshoots - one of which involved setting fire to a LandRover. Therefore in total I think their actual shooting budget was no more than £15,000.
That's a tiny figure. Paranormal Activity was made for about that, and went on to be the highest percentage-grossing film of all time. And while that was pretty watchable, this movie ... wasn't.
It's just a mess. An absolute train-wreck of a film.
The film starts with an animated introduction about Christopher Robin's old woodland friends 'going rogue' ... and that's okay (although it doesn't make a whole lot of sense), and the choice of Narrator is spot-on. Right after that, CR is walking through some woods with his fiancée, Mary, saying how much he wants to introduce her to Winnie et al.
And here's the first issue: If CR was so fond of his animal buddies, why did he not visit them more often? Even if he was enjoying his time at 'college', why did he abandon them for 5 years? It's understandable a young boy would eventually grow out of his 'imaginary' friends and forget about them, but I simply don't believe that CR would be showing his future wife around the woods, in search of Winnie and the gang, if he'd neglected them for half a decade.
The first few minutes after the animation are a strong warning of what's to come:
The initial lines of dialogue don't even make sense. ("Told you it wouldn't take that long", he says on arriving in the woods, but according to her it's been 2 hours.) They traipse around the forest looking for his animal chums, and find a treehouse. Hearing some bestial growls (maybe; it's not even clear) they 'hide' somewhere, although that's not clear either, because the image is so dark, and the sound mix so poor, that it's hard to make out anything. NO tension, no near-misses, no peeking out through a hole in the cupboard ... None whatsoever.
Night falls and they sneak out from wherever the hell they were hiding, and suddenly Piglet attacks Mary, strangling her with a thick chain. It's hard to make out anything, CR doesn't do a whole lot to help his fiancée, and Piglet vanishes as quickly as he appeared.
Pooh then turns up - both monsters now already fully revealed - and Christopher mumbles about how they "Used to be friends" and "He never would've left if he'd known". What, he'd pack in University because his animal buddies were hungry and lonely? Good luck explaining that to the parents. Pooh & Piglet close on him, the screen goes black (black-er), and cut to an animation of CR being dragged by his feet into (presumably) their lair.
I have a couple of theories on this:
(1) The creators thought it was a cool stylistic choice, à la Kill Bill;
(2) The location limitations meant they couldn't really show the creatures' den;
(3) Rhys originally killed off CR here, but then they were told to keep him, and reinstated him in a few later scenes when they did reshoots.
I think most likely (2), but I wouldn't be surprised if it was (3).
Now, this is where the film goes from bad to awful.
5 young ladies turn up at a house (presumably somewhere on the edge of the woods), to try take Maria's mind off the fact that she has a stalker. A big old house in the forest wouldn't be my first choice of getaway if I were Maria - maybe Center Parcs would've been safer (albeit pricier). Anyway, I only remember Maria's name because it's uncannily close to 'Mary', and also the actor's real name. And from here, it's a bit of a blank void. I don't just mean in my memory, but in the movie itself. The girls are so unexciting and unlikeable that I didn't care at all about about them. I think this isn't helped by the fact that they all look the same. All except for 'Lara' - played by a plastic OnlyFans creator who looks like some kind of Michael Jackson lovechild, and with the acting ability you'd expect from that. She poses in her pink-lit room, doing really bad Air Guitar (for some reason), then goes and soaks in the hot-tub ... alone. While the others chat inanely in the living room, doling out boring exposition. I'm fairly sure if it's a 'Getaway With The Girl's' then they'd all be in the jacuzzi together, drowning in prosecco.
After that, it's just a procession of badly-lit gory deaths, with limited levels of gore. No logic, no narrative, and no real ending. The finale in particular, it appears Rhys & Scott were so thrilled to have been given extra funding to set fire to a LandRover, they seemed to focus mostly on that. Even giving the vehicle a Truffaut-esque closing shot ...
What's so desperately sad about this disastrous affair is that this was the filmmakers' opportunity to stamp their names on the cinematic world. You have to give it to them - the concept is great. But once news got out and it went viral, they should've had a serious discussion about what to do. I think they should've used that buzz to bring in some more money - maybe even 6 figures - and redo the whole thing from scratch. Starting with the screenplay.
Rhys is not a writer. (Some might say he's not even a director.) He got into directing working as VFX supervisor, seemingly progressing into role of full director. Scott occasionally writes their films, but generally they hire writers to do that part for them. But those poor writers (myself included) generally have a month to churn out a draft, and then witness their work barely being done justice by budget limitations and distributor requirements.
Rhys and Scott aren't filmmakers. They're makers of films.
One might've thought that they'd would have the foresight to believe that Winnie could be bigger than anything they've done, and a chance to make a name for themselves. There was SO much potential here, and sadly that was wasted. (Same could be said for The Legend of Jack and Jill and a bunch of their other work.) Hiring a half decent writer and actually spending a bit of time on the story would've paid dividends.
For a start, Christopher Robin should've been the main protagonist, I don't think there's any question there. A real chance here to have a rather wimpy, slightly 'on the spectrum' guy play the hero. (For what it's worth, I think Nikolai Leon's Christopher was well cast.) Instead of random ladies, there could've been a few university friends come round - along with Mary - and gradually discover the story of what happened to Pooh, Piglet and the rest, all building to a satisfying climax. Rather than take itself too seriously - which I really don't think you can do when the antagonists are clearly chubby men in rubber masks - this could've been laugh-inducing campy fun, with lots of puns and bear gags. Some Pooh-related deaths, e.g. Drowning face-down in honey, another being killed in a Heffalump trap ... and maybe involve a Woozle too?
But no.
It's like Rhys and Scott didn't even look at that famous map of 100 Aker Wood.
What they did successfully manage to do was to disappoint a large number of horror fans who'd been salivating and baying for Blood and Honey, but instead got rancid meat and spoiled milk.
I wonder if they'll make more of an effort with the sequel. That said, on the back of so much negative reaction, maybe that won't even get green-lit.
Black Water: Abyss (2020)
How Hungry is that Croc?!
The premise is pretty ridiculous - 5 friends with barely any caving experience go into an unknown system (which they seem to think will make them a load of money - like, if you find a cave, can you claim if for yourself, do guided tours and stick a gift shop at the end?).
The Very Expensive Lamp - that was very conveniently mentioned for us in the first scene - dies within 3 minutes. Not that it would've helped much.
Now, i'm no crocodile expert, but i'm pretty sure they normally sit near the surface with just their eyes and nostrils sticking out. Which anyone with a torch would easily spot. But not this croc... he (or she/it: one should never assume a crocodile's gender) likes to lurk lower down, and suddenly swoop up (at great speed) from the depths.
Also: it must be Very hungry. Although not hungry enough to eat all of a Japanese woman. Racist croc! (You'd think, of all the nationalities, they would taste most like fish.) BUT it'll gladly attack a white dude. And having consumed him (probably?), half an hour later he's back for more! Two whole adult males. A veritable feast for the beast.
The very ending is actually quite exciting (although how they end up in that situation is laughable), and is a nice little add-on if you get that far. Although this woman, who's probably never used a gun before, casually holds that .45 handgun with one hand like she's Clint Eastwood. Her aim might've been better if she'd used two.
Anyway, that sums it up. I watched it so you don't have to.
The Book of Boba Fett (2021)
Weak
I really enjoyed Mandalorian, but this is a poor cousin of it.
The storytelling is weak.
Boba very conveniently has dreams that are exact flashbacks of what happened to him previously. There are some other really convenient parts, coincidences, get-out-of-jail cards etc. There are also some horrible 'comic' moments that reminded me of Phantom Menace (*shudder*), and the CGI/costumes do seem a bit dodgy.
I spent the first 2 episodes wondering why he was being held captive in the desert with no food or water, and almost gave up after that.
Gets a bit better, but it's just very disappointing....
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)
Lazily-written Nonsense
I wanted to enjoy this, but by god, it was awful.
It was just weak, unrelatable nonsense. I didn't care about any of the characters.
Yes there was action etc but...
The TONE was all wrong. It was played too much for laughs.
The Liverpudlian guy seems like he gatecrashed from the film in the neighbouring studio; Awkwafina's acting was just disappointingly bad and awkward, and the final battle scene was so SO busy that I couldn't tell what was going on. At all.
It felt like it would never end.
A joke of a film.
Rocky Balboa (2006)
TKO
The film itself is weak.
But what's most noticeable is the terrible cinematography. It's absolutely horrendous. It looks AWFUL. Like someone shot it on an old pocket camera with some poor lighting. Like an over-exposed social media video, it's just awful. Terrible.
Just do yourself a favour and watch Raging Bull instead.
Rose (2020)
Part beautiful, part thorny.
'Rose' (to use its short title) is an interesting piece, for sure.
As the second part of the name suggests, it is indeed a love story, more than a horror. More like 'Beauty and the Beast' than 'The Number of the Beast'.
The characters are strong, and well acted. From the start we are gradually introduced to this curious couple and their off-the-grid existence, with some very low-key lighting. Things get more interesting with the introduction of some leeches (and cool blue lighting), and conflict was set up with a young Scouse kid.
But after that it lost its course somewhat. Out of the blue, Amber stumbled into their secluded little world, and this seemed particularly conceited. A pregnant teen from a broken family who wandered - in the snow?! - into the middle of the forest miles from anywhere. I didn't buy this. She was also rather an annoying character.
However the two leads were excellent, and I totally sympathised with Sam's tough "I'm not letting anyone screw up our life" attitude while also feeling Rose's "She needs our help" sentiments.
The finale was satisfying enough, but I really feel the script could've done with a bit more development, and a bit more of a frantic finale.
Also, from a professional point of view, the camera shots Cross The Line a lot. Which is very amateurish and annoyed the hell out of me.
Overall: Worth watching, for sure, but 'Could do better'.
Pixie (2020)
Tired, confused nonsense.
If you asked some 2nd-year film students to write a 'cool heist caper based in Western Ireland' then they would probably write something that they think is a blend of 'In Bruges' and Tarantino, but what they'd actually have is this.
This film is so hackneyed, cliché and uninspiring. It's confusing, not knowing if it's a road movie, revenge flick or cute romcom, and just badly blends all three. It's improbable, implausible, and quite irritating to be honest.
Olivia Cooke's titular character casually saunters around, like it's all a bit of a laugh, but even her doe-eyed charms can't hold together this paper mâché mess.
There are two or three decent laughs, some lovely scenery of W Ireland (no doubt funded by the Irish tourist board), and fun cameos from Alec Baldwin and Dylan Moran ... but that's it. What's noticeable is the directing is Very Bad. Barnaby Thompson may have produced a few big films, but his talent lies there and not with directing. As for the writer, Preston, I can only assume he is a relative (perhaps a 2nd-year film student), as that's the only way his script could've got made.
You'd be better off just going to Sligo and filming your own road trip.