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Reviews
Halloween (2007)
Funniest movie of the year.
This was the funniest movie I have seen all year. Michael Myers had me laughing so hard I cried. And the dialogue was just just hysterical. Oh wait a minute. Was this movie not supposed to be fuuny? I thought it was a comical remake of a Classic Hooror movie. It wasn't? Seriuosly though. This is one of the worst movies I think I have ever seen. And definitely the worst remake that has ever been given a wide release. That's right, I said "REMAKE". And everyone is full of crap, if they try to say that this movie wasn't a remake, but a "revisioning" or a movie "based on" another story.
Rob Zombie shouldn't be allowed to make another movie. Especially a remake. Donald Pleasance is spinning in his grave right now.
Nothing but SPOILERS ahead.
Serioously, Laurie Strode doesn't appear until half-way through the movie. And Laurie and her friends are a bunch of stupid, annoying, high school girls, that i didn't care about, and they deserved to die. It's a shame Daniel Harrison can't find better work.
The killings were random. They didn't make sense. You couldn't tell how most people died and you couldn't really tell what happened at the end with Laurie and Michael. This is all thanks to Zombies, choppy & sloppy MTV-Style of editing.
Oh and the fact that Micael Myers can just walk through doors and walls was so stupid. I don't know why he couldn't walk through the walls at the end of the movie, when he was doing it throughout.
Just like I don't know why we were treated to a 5 minute scene that explained to us, how Michael found shoes to wear. Yeah you read that right. Or how and why he found time to hide the knife and mask after he killed his parents.
And the music in this movie was horrible. The music made me laugh almost more than anything else. "Love Hurts"? Come on!! I read one review where someone said the music in this remake was an improvement from the original. I don't know what crack that person was doing.
The language was out of control. F-Bombs were dropped almost every other word in the movie. And if it wasn't the F-Bomb being dropped it was some other totally uneccessary, excessive use of another foul word.
I could have made a better Halloween remake with my digital camera.
And i am not bothering to spell check this review. I say this because i am sure there will be at least 1 person who disagrees with my review so much that they will have nothing else better to say about my review other than that i don't' know how to spel corectly. This review was only meant to vent my anger with Zombie and everyone involved in this train wreck of a classic movie, that should have just been left alone.
Oh well, at least I was given a really good couple of laughs for the weekend. THIS MOVIE IS CRAP. and the WORST REMAKE EVER!
Walking Tall (2004)
4 Stars
This movie kicked ass! I just got home from watching BLADE:TRINITY, and that movie was so BAD. Except for 7th Heaven's and Van Wilder's performances. When I got home, I ordered WALKING TALL, and I was amazed. I thought it was one of the better action/fight movies, to have come out in awhile. The ROCK was great. I don't know how you can sleep through the role as one reviewer said. It's hard to sleep and stand up at the same time. And while I know that is just an expression the reviewer was using, it was not correctly used. The ROCK made me wanna go out and kick some ass with a piece of wood. And this movie was so much better than the RUNDOWN. So go see this movie. 'Cause the "GREAT ONE" said so'
Fastlane (2002)
Highlight of Friday Nights
This show was great. The chemistry that was displayed between Peter Facinelli, Bill Bellamy, and Tiffani Thiessen was fun to watch each and every week. They really seemed to get along and enjoy themselves. The show had plenty of episodes that displayed what great talent was behind the show, where they actually made an action show interesting, with multiple characters who were so interesting to watch each and every week(Van,Deaqon,Billy,Aquarius) and other guest stars who all added their own unique style to the show. The best episodes of the series had to be the first episode(Pilot) and the 2-parter 'Defense' and 'Offense' Two of the guest stars for this 2-Parter were Jay Mohr and Krista Allen. They were both great. And Jay Mohr's character of being the typical A-Hole, was so nicely done, you just had to like him. And Krista Allen lit up the screen, when she was on it. I will forever be keeping an eye on her now, as well as the rest of the cast from this VERY, UNDER-RATED show! I think people just expected it to be too much like all the other cop or crime/drama shows and for that reason, they were ignorant to lighten up and take this show for what is was. It was entertaining for everyone. It had the hot music, the hot babes, the cool guys, the fast cars, the awesome action sequences, the right blend of comedy w/out making it too silly, and when they slowed down from all the fast-paced buisness, they really had some nice emotional scenes. Nothing to cry over, but they were good enough to get someone watching the show, to care for these characters.
I hate FOX for cancelling this show, just like they do with every show they have that doesn't score 'Friends' ratings in it's first 2 weeks. These TV Companies need to let the show have a chance to gain an audience. And it doesn't help if half-way through the Season, the show gets switched to a new time-slot. Or if there are not a good amount of re-runs to keep the show fresh in viewers minds. These TV exec.'s are stupid and have no idea how to decide what gets picked-up, or what gets the axe. Need I remind you, 'Brisco County Jr.' and 'John Doe'. If you get a chance to watch this show, please do. It was such a great show and such a great shame to see it cancelled. FASTLANE is forever going to be in my TOP 10 shows of all time.
Timecop (1997)
Horrible
This is one tv series that truly sucks. None of the characters are interesting. The Female lead(Cristi Conaway) is horrible. The male lead(Ted King II) leaves alot to be desired, as does the entire show. I thought it would have some saving grace since the movie was so Kick-ass. I guess not. I know Jean Claude has made some bad movies, but Timecop was amongst his finest. And he fit the title role more perfectly than anyone I can think of. If they couldn't get him to do the show they should have just let it go. I keep trying to watch it now that sci-fi channel is airing it again. But each time I turn the channel and wonder what else I could have done with the time I spent watching this lame spin-off of a comic book, to a movie, to a tv show. Save yourselves the time and read a book or something.
Eraserhead (1977)
I understood this
it's about how one director was trying to make it in Hollywood, so he filmed this really awful film, and tried to create all of these little sub-plots about this alien baby or some girl who sings in a a radiator or the family that just starts acting crazy and all seizure-like(Daughter, when they were in the living room and mother at the dinner table). Also it just drags and drags(for instance the opening sequence) and just makes no sense at all. And the purpose of this movie was that hopefully people would waste there time on it(like I did) and they would try to decipher all thses meanings, and ideas about what the film was trying to say or some stupid crap like that. When it fact all it proves is that any person with a camera can make a movie about nothing and just add a couple of wierd things it and people would be foolish enough to make it a cult movie(cause they don't know what a good film is) and the director would be praised about how great a film they have made about a movie that makes no sense at all. Although I thought the homosexuality sublpot of the main character was really interesting.