VanillaLimeCoke Reviews

The NeverEnding Story III (1994)

It's not great, but c'mon

[5/10 · 23 July 2023]

I'm not a huge fan of The Never Ending Story series. The first one really is a bit intense and much, although still impressive. The second one isn't that much worse than the first, maybe a little better, or just as good. It has its moments.

The third film here is like they really just wanted a trilogy.

Is it bad? Yes but not that bad.

Is it clever? Yes, very clever.

In this one everyone is trying to control the story and some of the characters in the book come out into the real world.

This film is way more funny than intense.

The first film was more drama and adventure than funny. The bad guy was known as this "The Nothing" errrr.

The second film I found more just adventure and not as intense and drama like as the first one. The bad people are known as "The Emptiness" hmmm

The third film bad people are the bullies known as "the Nasties"; the name is worse than they are.

I would definitely recommend seeing it if you are a fan or if you enjoyed the first two films somewhat.

Knock at the Cabin (2023)

M. Night Shyamalan has gone off the deep end........Again

[5/10 · 4 February 2023]

If you want me to keep this short and simple like should I go see this film then see the three choices below about THE HAPPENING, if you've seen that film....

Did you like or love THE HAPPENING, by all means see this film.

Did you think THE HAPPENING was just OK, think it over. See what your friends or family members say, perhaps.

Did you dislike and hate THE HAPPENING, by all means......do not....do not.... I repeat please, pretty please, pretty please with a sugared cherry and sprinkles on top....do not see this film....and if you do and still not like it, don't come crying to me or disliking this review.

I was wary on this film when I saw it was rated R, thinking we all know what happened (very good pun whether intended or not) last time back in 2008 when he made his previous but first film R-rated. And for the most part, imho this is fairly much a carbon copy of THE HAPPENING. This time there is more language involved (although it does come in spurts for the most part), which just kind of really just totally baffles me, because in the 30 years M Night has been making movies, the language has always been tame. In fact, only a very few of his films had f-words.

What's more unimpressive is that the trailer does indeed pretty much give away the ending.

What I really disliked about this film is all the flashbacks they give; almost like in the 25th Hour. Most of them I agree were necessary, but a few weren't necessary like them arriving at the cabin. Why didn't M Night Shyamalan start the film off with them arriving at the cabin? Instead they show that in a flashback.

Moving onto the the fact that the two guys are (eh-eh-eh), isn't that explicit in the film. In fact, There's no sex at all in this film.

Moving onto the main plot... Four strangers come and hold the family of three hostage saying they must sacrifice one of them....and one of them can't do so by taking their own life.....one has to kill another. When the family of three refuses, the leader says that for every no they say more and more people will die each time. Thousands, then tens of thousands, then hundreds of thousands, and then millions and even much more (we see a tidal wave killing thousands on a beach at first but then later there's a deadly virus out in three major countries killing people, and there's also hundreds of planes crashing). They have until sundown tomorrow, and at each part of the day (1st evening, next morning, next afternoon, next evening) each of the four either kills their own mate or one of them takes their own life.

MORTAL SPOILERS MORTAL SPOILERS MORTAL SPOILERS MORTAL SPOILERS

Grint is killed by his mates, the black shirt lady I forget.... I think she takes her own life, the yellow shirt lady is pretty much mortally wounded to the point where wrestling guy finishes her off, and wrestling guy takes his own life. Yeah.....almost sort of like THE HAPPENING......in a different fashion.

END OF MORTAL SPOILERS END OF MORTAL SPOILERS END OF MORTAL SPOILERS END OF MORTAL SPOILERS

And like another user on here pointed out.....there's no twist. At least none that I saw. I mean even THE HAPPENING had some theory why that stuff was happening....but here we get no theory.

So why give this even 5 out of 10 stars....it was still kind of suspenseful. But I really don't understand what possessed M Night Shyamalan to make this an R-rated film with the profanity in it (which he never did before in his films over the last 30 years (although I hear the tv series Servant has lots of profanity in it too, which is like a HBO show, but even that only started recently) and the film really didn't make much sense.

But yes, yes, yes, yes........we know the rule......we have to see M Night Shyamalan's film twice to fully get it.....but I'll wait until this comes out on video for rewatch. Maybe I'll get it May 19th or there about some time when they release it on video. Don't ask why I chose that date at random.....it's a long story.

Ok......I waived the previews.....not that really matters.

Easter eggs at the end of the end credits......

Ok, the end credits are a little cool. Lots of little things (virus pores and lightning bolts) come up and for a few seconds the end credits change colors.....blue......then red.....for a few seconds. Then at the end just some knocking on the cabin door........not spectacular, nothing fancy, nothing special.

And finally.....yes.....M Night does appear in a cameo. He's on some cooking TV show with some lady. He's very giddy happy about it too. It's near the start of the second third of the film....like maybe 20-30 minutes in.

Anyway, I hope this review was helpful. I typed it up in a hurry before getting ready for church.

Old (2021)

M Night Shyamalan really seems to be making a comeback

[7/10 · 25 July 2021]

Old is definitely not one of M Night's best films but still far from his worst films too.

First off is the obvious question many are wondering if they haven't looked at the cast list........yes........he does make an appearance in this film and actually winds up playing a major role in this film.......and isn't even in just one scene (like Lady in the Water). I won't spoil all the details here.

To be honest though......this film was worth the wait.

The ending will indeed be a surprise.

And I guarantee you'll like Idlib (played by Kailen Jude) as despite him playing a smaller role than M Night Shyamalan does....but very important.

The trailer though seems misleading showing 5 kids (2 boys and 3 girls).......there's really just 3 kids (1 boy and 2 girls). The scenes we see from the trailer are from two different days (them arriving at the hotel and then them getting driven to the beach the next day. I'm addition there's some rapper, and two other families (two (husband and wife) and then one with six (dog, husband, wife, husband's mom, the one girl, and 28 year old lady). Then we have the main family (dad, mom, boy, and girl).

So all together these 12 people and a dog are on a beach having the time of their lives when the young boy stumbles upon a dead lady in the water (who we see earlier which the rapper was watching). Not knowing how she died, some of the people try leaving the beach but can't because they keep blacking out going the way they came.

They soon realize too time is speeding up and they are aging (over 10 days by each minute) like a year every half hour (over 300 days each 30 minutes). The dog and husband's mom are the first to die.

More different escape tactics taken prove to be deadly (climbing the rocks x1 and swimming out in the ocean to an adjacent area x2).

To make matters worse, the one husband starts going psychotic.......sometimes in a funny like Anthony Hopkins like way.....but most of the time very scary psychotic crazy.

More people meet their fates.

In the end, just our family of four is remaining.....but the parents soon dwindle quick.

Our two kids are the only ones to survive the night and to make yo the next day.

The only plot that I felt was unnecessary was the part about the one girl getting pregnant. This is mainly because the baby only survives 1 minute and 20 minutes later......they're not even mentioning this plot anymore in the film.

It is somewhat explained that only the kids go hungry and eat more food, while the adults need hardly any food......but still time is moving at a constant rate for everybody......so I still feel like this plot doesn't gel so well.

And the ending just proves to ask more questions of logic like this.

Like I said, I feel M Night Shyamalan is getting back but isn't completely back yet.

I particularly enjoyed this much better than THE VILLAGE, AFTER EARTH, THE VISIT, and THE LAST AIRBENDER.

Underwater (2020)

Rather Disappointing

[5/10 · 14 January 2020]

Ok.

Let me be honest.

It has been a year since I've been to the theaters. Quite honestly it has been both that movies don't last that long in the theaters and I've been busy, and the fact that nothing looks good anymore.

I mean really. They just don't make movies like they used too. I was seeing TRANSPORTER 1 (film from 2002) back in the fall, and I even said to myself.....there's something different about this film. It's just the feel. And I said to myself....movies these days are so different.

This movie though looked remotely good and interesting, so I decided to go see it.

But it was not that good. It didn't suck....but I don't think I'll be buying it.

This movie reminded me a little of THE MIST (2007), only this film was better....but not a whole lot....but definitely better.

I did have to leave to use the restroom at one point, so I don't know if I missed a crucial scene or not.

There aren't many people in this film...only seven...I think.

The film does pretty much get to the point right at the start and is only 95 minutes instead of these whiny 2-2.5 hour films these days. Although the end credits music was whiny.

Gosh music these days.....it's only going to get worse.

So....the real problem is that .... they never explain what happened ... (other than they drilled too deep under the ocean and these monsters were released) the survivors are denied interviews..... and only 2 survive.

Like why couldn't two fit in a pod at the end? Maybe there wasn't enough room. I don't know. But the one that was broken .... I wish she could have fixed it.

Maybe there is a DVD coming with an alternate ending.

Kristen Stewart is the main character and she dies....but yet still narrates at the end.....so maybe there's a sequel coming....maybe she survives....and maybe again she survives an alternate ending.

By the way, Kristen Stewart has blond hair in this film...instead of her brown hair on the imdb picture here....but then again she did have blond hair in PANIC ROOM.

She looks odd here....almost reminds me of a cross between that evil dude from RED 2 and Ethan Hunt from MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 1. I'm not saying she looks bad...actually rather funny....from the description I mentioned.

Also the black guy dies first....I'm not black btw....but I guess I got really distraught over it becomes he reminds me of a friend. But I guess if they killed the fat guy first...people will whine, always the fat guy gets it first.

I'm not saying this movie is awful.....it does have it's cool moments and it was fun.....but I was expecting a better ending.

Also this is not a film for kids at all under 13. Ahm....the monsters are really ultra scary. Please don't take your kids to see this.

The Tower (1985 TV Movie)

Why the low ratings??

[6/10 · 5 June 2019]

First off I found this film to be like a PBS sci-fi movie. There's very little blood and gore but some violence but done in very very clean way. Also maybe the way the text credits are shown on the screen gives it that feel. Maybe even the way the people act and dress.

But while this film isn't anything like INCEPTION or TRON or STAR WARS I really think it's severely underrated.

The film takes place in a building complex run by a machine named Lola....which runs the whole building. She is run by smart or green power....but Lola soon becomes obsessed by wanting more power and likes to get it by vaporizing/transferring human bodies by getting their BTUs of body heat. To do so they just need to be near anything connected to the building mainframe (a light switch, phone, computer, electric key pass box) and poof.

Investigators already are trying to figure out what's going on and later that evening...Ten people become trapped in the building.

The only real complaints is that we don't quite get enough about what's going on with every character....like this thief who had something planned but it falls through and this other guy who's cheating on his wife and whether or not he's going to give this job to someone.

My only real complaint is the music/sounds gets annoying like a broken record from time to time.

But overall I really enjoyed this film and don't understand why it's below 5 stars.

This is sort of like this 1993 film called The Tower which I reviewed back in 2011 but I don't think that was a remake. If you like that one or this film than definitely watch the other....you won't be disappointed. If you didn't like this film or that film then you probably wouldn't like the other film.

Glass (2019)

Totally Falls apart at the end

[7/10 · 19 January 2019]

For the first half of this film I was totally amazed. I literally thought M. Night Shaloyman was back 100%. Better than ever.

But then....with that last third of the movie......it was back to the typical cookie cutters of films today with ultra violence and overlength. But the ending is just totally devasting and was almost a "(IMDb surely won't let me say the word here) you" ending. I mean that ending was just totally ultra tragic and devastating. Especially with ..... well I don't want to spoil it all except that I can hint on that you'll probably want to blurt out in the theatre "that's Murder" when you see it happen. I mean that ending was more painful to watch than the Saints/Eagles regular season game this year.

The first half and maybe even the first two thirds are great/fantastic. As the grand finale gets set to go it still seems really great and interesting, but they instead ...... well I know the rule...... you have to see M Night Shaloyman's films twice to understand. But I really wanted to see James Mcavoy character climb the tall building at the end and then maybe go off into 5 different personalities while Samuel L Jackson character just rolled his when he was explaining to him what to do at the top of the building.

The film though at the very end is totally left open ended. It seems that's the end.....or they'll start with three new characters now

The X-Files: Nothing Lasts Forever (2018) Season 11, Episode 9

Ultra Disgusting

[15 March 2018]

This was by far the most disgusting X-Files episode ever. Well maybe but if not, one of the most with Sangunarium coming in with it.

The premise and plot was clever but just the blood and gore was extremely extreme. I thought they had softened up on it this season but no, guess not.

The only good part was the comic relief with mulder finally having to wear glasses.

Tough Guys (1986)

They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To

[9/10 · 17 July 2014]

It is very rare that the movie's first line will sum the entire movie up, but Kenny Rogers song of "They Don't Make 'em like they used to" sums this one up.

They really don't make movies like this anymore, although this was nearly 30 years ago to this date.

I was fortunate to go to London and get this on DVD where it was available there back in 2007, around the same time I had discovered about region free DVD players and secret codes on Region 1 DVD players.

I was told this film really wasn't the best, and well it really isn't Oscar worthy but they really don't seem to make films like this anymore.

This film was made in 1986 but had more of an older feeling to it something you might see on PBS, but it still is very entertaining funny.

The plot has Harry Doyle (Burt Lancaster) and Archie Long (Kirk Douglas) as two old guys finishing a 30 year prison sentence for robbing a train, and now have to face a new world. They have a very friendly but firm parole officer named Richie (played by Dana Carvey which I believe might be his very first major role), but like I said has to be firm because his boss Yablonski (played by Charles Durning) who originally busted the two is on his tail. And to make it more humorous his boss is on him telling him to take it easy and focus on his easy job of computer records. Plus there's this hero like guy who resents the two paroled Leon B. Little (Eli Wallach) who's trying to kill them.

Of course being on parole is really like being on a leash, Archie Long is given a job whilst luckily Harry gets retirement checks but has to live in a very boring rest home. The two basically envy each other for that, the other wanting a job and the other wanting to sit back and relax. That's another common thing, even though these two are best friends they argue a lot with each other.

Getting out into the real world that's now 30 years older than they remembered isn't easy, but they seem to be good at it, although not as good as they used to be or want to be.

Harry has to deal with living a boring rest home with very sloppy boring food and following a very strict schedule.

Archie's first job does not go well in an ice cream store, where this one kid tries to pull every 'the customer is right' antic in the book on him. Archie ends up throwing ice cream in his face. The second job does not go any better as on the second day 3 customers and his boss jump on him with demands at once; this leads to Archie giving them the demands in a peculiar fashion, but what really is funny is how the 3rd customer is laughing his head off until Archie approaches him, the customer a bit more sedated has a look of, 'I'm dead now, but it was worth it'

Going to a clothing store is at a loss for Archie when he's told their colors are peach, avocado, mocha, cherry, and etc, which Archie replies, "I don't want to eat the suit, I just want to wear it."

Those are just a few funny scenes in this 1 hour 45 minute film. This is definitely a rare gem.

The only thing I found annoying was the character Leon B. Little. He was annoying IMO, and basically seemed to curse every chance he got. While he was funny at times, he just seemed too uppity for his own good.

But overall definitely a solid gem that I would strongly recommend seeing if you enjoy comedy flicks.

Chosen (2013–2014)

Too fast paced

[10 November 2013]

I saw this on CRACKLE and must admit it was interesting. It's everything that I like in a mini series but it's just too fast paced.

Basically a lawyer / father is going through a divorce and it isn't going well. Just whilst at the end of the visit, an s-bomb slips whilst on the phone, no breakfast except cake for his daughter, and the mom is early and finds out about this. She informs him of a soccer practice he should attend, before leaving. Of course, that's when the action starts. The lawyer Ian Mitchell finds an expensive looking box at his doorstep with a gun and photo of some dentist with expiration date a couple days away. Police really don't help him.

As the series goes on we learn more people are involved in this sick game, and even targets. When they don't comply their family is taken from them like our main antagonist.

While the series is high on octane fuel it just never seems to offer much answers or background information.

And the ending is a bit disappointing. It's like it builds up to all this suspense and willpower but the lawyer goes through with it anyway.

Watch maybe in Season 2 it will prove the viewers wrong. I just hope Season 2 brings us more info like how the box is made.

The Lost Room (2006)

Amazing

[10/10 · 7 August 2013]

Dennis Christopher described this show was like eating a bag of potato chips. You just can't stop. That IMO, is a bit of an understatement. It's more like eating your all time favorite chips that was around for a limited time only.

The Lost Room is about a mini-series where this cop comes in touch with this key that will take you to a 1961 motel room through any door. Once in the room you can actually go anywhere you want, the beach, a motorcycle bar, Penn State football game, you name it.

However complications arrive (not to mention that things were already complicated), when bad people want the key. Mainly a guy Karl had a guy buy it from a pawn shop for $2,000,000 and this other bad guy the Weasel stole it, but it then fell into the cop's hands.

After a series of mishaps the cop's daughter goes missing in the room. However as the cop tries to get her back, he learns about these other objects that have other special powers.

As the cop tries to get his daughter back he must try to trust the right people and learns more about the history of the motel.

Need I say more. I don't want to spoil more. But if you like sci-fi fantasy mystery type shows, this show is definitely for you.

The Last Leprechaun (1998)

Underrated but drags

[5/10 · 24 March 2013]

I saw Last Leprechaun on Netflix on St. Patrick's Day just because it was virtually the only leprechaun film there.

It definitely isn't awesome but deserves more than 2.8 / 10 stars.

The main problem with the film is it drags on a bit too much, especially and mainly in the 2nd half. This is a 93 minute film that really should have only been like 70 minutes long.

The first 45 minutes is very good. It's mainly about this only leprechaun in town with a nice hut. Two kids get sent off to live with a stepmother (whom really is an evil witch and has evil plans).

We learn in the second half that the witch has even more sinister plans, but after that the film drags on.

Will the kids thwart the witch's plans and win back their dad? Of course, but the film just drags out too much at the end.

The special effects, secret passageways, and slapstick violence is indeed pretty good. But over awhile, you're asking yourself when does this film end??

Oliver Beene (2003–2004)

Cross between Wonder Years and Leave it to Beaver

[8/10 · 2 January 2013]

First off, in my opinion this was not the best sitcom but I am kind of surprised it lasted 2 seasons.

I remember my sister being into this show more than me. It seemed pretty good but just out of date and too original.

I had thought that after Season 1 the show didn't do so well but then learned it came back for another season and that was it. I thought it was doing so well. But I don't know.

I think airing it on FOX might have been the problem since Malcolm in the Middle was better at the time. Had it aired on another station it would have done better. Also I think Elkie kind of ruined the show. I just kind of found her annoying and bland after a bit.

The show was definitely funny and always kept you guessing. It had a very likable cast of characters. Oliver's parents were not the crazy control freaks like Malcolm on The Middle or The Wonder Years. Ted, Oliver's brother just for some reason reminded me of Wally from Leave it to Beaver.

I relate this show to The Wonder Years fusing with Leave it to Beaver, because The Wonder Years had a voice over and the show's characters seemed like ones from Leave it to Beaver, especially Ted.

Two of the best guest stars I liked were Louis Lombardi (from the hit show 24 as Edgar in Seasons 4 + 5) who plays a stressed out neighbor and Jon Polito (often a mobster in many films like Millers Crossing, but most memorably a reformed man in a MillenniuM episode) who played a very heavyset but yet unhealthy gym teacher.

Ted also had a friend named Harvey who would cause trouble like wildfires. One such incident was when he insulted a fat guy while the kids were home alone, resulting in the fat guy coming over and trying to kill the kids. Harvey had been supposedly banned after throwing a wild party with Ted while Oliver and his parents were out once.

Jerry, Oliver's dad plays as a dentist who is very friendly and cheerful but has a very short but funny temper. Not to mention the fact that he will act like a 10 year old at times.

Overall, I found the series pretty good and surprised that it lasted only 2 seasons instead of one or more.

If you enjoyed Wonder Years, Leave it to Beaver, Malcolm in the Middle, Grounded for Life, and/or The Bernie Mac Show, I would recommend seeing it (if they ever put them on DVD, Netflix, or Hulu (or wait, I left Hulu, so maybe (yeah right) there on there).

Down the Drain (1990)

How stupid can they get????

[5/10 · 11 November 2012]

OK. First off this is a very rare and unheard of film. So I would like to tell you how I stumbled upon it.

One night as a kid, I was just thinking what would a title to a good Rated R movie be, and "Down The Drain" first came to my mind. I then actually looked in Maltin to see if such a title exisited and it did. It was this one. Not very good rating.

Anyway, throughout the years I've always thought of that moment and then just last week wondered if I could get it. It was on Netflix and decided to see it.

It is a very bad movie, but it is the type of bad movie that is very refreshingly enjoyable and very funny.

What it's about is this crooked lawyer who rounds up a gang of crooks to rob this vault and then turn them into another con for $20,000,000.

But practically everyone in this film is so greedy and stupid, but so stupid that they can't even fail. That's what makes it funny. The things they do are so stupid, its like you'd think it won't work or its suicide and it does work out well for them.

One particular funny scene is when this fat guy gets stuck in a hole and he is given a soda to drink. He is then burped and he is able to be pulled out.

I mean thru/o the entire movie you keep asking yourselves, 'well what are they going to do now?' and the next scene plays out and you're thinking, 'I didn't expect them to do that.'

Overall, this is an OK film. It does get tedious (and you'll be asking, 'when does it end') but it is a very decent popcorn flick, and it keeps you guessing.

Lie Still (2005)

Not bad at all

[7/10 · 2 October 2012]

This film basically does to boarding houses what the Shining did to the hotel.

Without really much to spoil I was pretty satisfied about this film. It wasn't overly gory or profanity (although it could have had less, but these English films). It was just creepy and scary. I really enjoyed the part with the little girl playing ball.

The story is basically just a guy renting a cheap room, but strange spooky things keep happening that soon drive him insane. The only 2 people there are a crazy old estranged lady and a nice humble old land lord.

What this film really reminded me of, was this TV series that had an episode called Dreams in the Witches House. It seemed exactly like that. If you've seen that and liked it, you'll want to see this.

Only problem with this film is that, it kind of asks a bit of questions at the end (and the profanity IMO was just a bit heavy).

One other thing though, there's a clip after the END CREDITS

Metamorphosis (I) (2007)

Very unusual movie

[6/10 · 21 August 2012]

I found this disc at Dollar General yesterday and thought I'd give it a try. It was $3.

I went home and printed the box art work and chapters sheet out and watch it last night.

There's no one really in it though that I recognized.

The film is very quite odd but I enjoyed it. The main evil vampire (Christopher Lambert) is very witty and charming.

The film isn't that gory or profane (like most teenager and vampire films), it's just suspenseful. I really didn't find it that slow pacing. I'm not sure why most people hate this.

It is a bit confusing and the ending is kind of odd, but I think it was worth $3.

25th Hour (2002)

Very powerful film

[8/10 · 3 July 2012]

So I found a clip of this on YouTube and this film looked interesting. Before reading my review, I'm going to point out what I feel are the most powerful spoilers. I have decided to break it up into Orange and Red levels.

ORANGE LEVEL Spoilers (major spoilers, but not really described in detail. Stop here unless you want to be spoiled before seeing the film) What this film is about, is about a drug dealer named Monty (Eddie Norton) who's about to go to jail for 7 years after being apparently busted (IMO, if he was busted he'd already be there). So, I guess he decides to turn himself in but have a last night out on the town.

Thru/o the last 24 hours we see flashbacks of his past and I think some about his future (like him getting busted, but once again when that happens he shouldn't still be out roaming free for a grace period).

He contemplates his past actions and what will happen in the future. There is one scene where he blames piratically everyone for his actions (including bums with squeegees, immigrants packing 25 per car, and even Jesus Christ) only to realize it's all his fault. But yet even though he must pay for his mistakes we realize his little rant points out that these people/we influence people like him to do these things. Thru/o the film it shows how he's lived a carefree life as a king; going to high posh clubs not even waiting in line, with very ultra fancy vinyl sofas, the best cocktails, deep heavy color lights.....taking each of these things for granted. I myself think I have it easy, but not like this.

But the thing is, that he realizes that he's taken his life for granted, carefree selling drugs and now gotta go to prison (which is definitely unfair because of prison rape (like he didn't rape, he only sold drugs)).

RED LEVEL Spoilers (major spoilers, STOP HERE unless you don't plan to see the film or don't care that I spoil it) In the end his father contemplates the life he could still run and start a new life.

This is where I'd like to point out makes the film confusing. If he indeed is already busted, why does he get a grace period. My theory is that he imagines the FBI guys looking in his apartment and the interrogation room scene. The FBI guys act very rude and awkward and that room is way too white except the fire alarm (and they do make white fire alarms). I mean even before the FBI guys come he talks about suicide. So we know that he knows he's going to get busted. And he doesn't want to take a bath with his gf, but then does and that's when the FBI guys come (hinting on, he takes the bath and the FBI guys come, therefore the bath scene never happened; it was just imagined).

But overall, the film points out how we might live carefree and take things for granted. We realize that its not our fault that these drug dealers commit the crimes they commit. But how we might have been an influence, and because of that of how others have influenced our actions.

The ending almost got me a little bit wishing, man I wish I could start a life out in the west, live in a very small town, maybe work in a small bank, bar, store, or post office. Right now I'm doing pretty well. But it just got me thinking, most of us today are so hooked on ultra iPods. But how did we get by 20-25 years ago without that? I think even that one Barry guy who must make millions would have envied Monty if he did start that new life, while Monty is only making like <$50k per year. Why? Because Monty is living the simple life while Barry must deal with the hectic stock market job.

Overall I give this film 8/10. It was very eye opening, but also confusing. Also, like always, did it really need all that profanity?

The Chamber (2002– )

Secret Guilty Pleasure

[8/10 · 9 March 2012]

To be truthful, I really have to admit that I secretly enjoyed this show. I mean this was a really cool show the short time it lasted. The only problem is that the risks were psychotic and the rewards were a bit skimpy. This was a cool idea just taken too far.

From what I've read 6 episodes were taped but only 3 were aired. I was lucky enough to see two of the three.

In my opinion, this was sort of like an adult psychotic version of the late 1980s FUN HOUSE show.

The basic plot of the show consisted of two parts. The first part would have two contestants face off in best of 3 question contest. The contestants from what I understand would always be a male vs. female. Each time one answered a question correctly, they would score two point. The first to score two points would then enter the chamber of doom.

The contestant was strapped tightly to this chair and then asked if they just wanted $500 instead of entering the hazardous chamber (which no one ever took).

The chamber consisted of seven levels, each lasting a minute long and becoming more hazardous by each second. Contestants were asked pretty basic questions (usually T/F, multiple choice, fill in the blank, one word answer). Each correct answer was worth $1000. The contestant would only lose in three ways: (1) if they answered two questions incorrectly in a row (2) If they were in the danger zone on their vitals for 20 consecutive seconds or (3) If they couldn't take it anymore and demanded the host to "STOP THE CHAMBER".

If they lost, they'd only keep half of their winnings.

If they managed to survive all seven levels they'd keep all their earnings (which did happen once). If they answered 25 questions correctly, they'd get the grand prize (which never happened, and I'm not sure if they also had to go through all seven levels if necessary).

Of the three episodes that were aired only two chamber of dooms were used; a hot and cold chamber.

From what I understand, the chamber was always chosen at random from a computer. Thus, the contestant couldn't choose it.

I'll start with the hot chamber. This chamber started at a temperature of I think 110F. It would gradually increase to I think 165F (providing how far the contestant got). But that's just the least. There were flame cannons, wind cannons (which blasted up to 60mph), and at a certain point the chair would start to rotate (having the contestant upside down).

The cold chamber was probably just as worse. This chamber started at a temperature of 30F and would gradually decrease to I think -15F. Like with the hot chamber that was only the least. This chamber had stimulated avalanches and water jets. I think it also had the wind cannons too which would blast up to 60mph. I know that the chair didn't rotate in this chamber.

Supposedly there were three other chambers. From what I read there's mention of electric shock chamber, water torture chamber, insect chamber, and I think even hurricane and/or wind chamber. Its not known what hazards were used in these chambers nor even if they were used in the three episodes that were never aired.

From what I saw in the first show, I remember this one lady get pretty far in the hot chamber until the seat started rotating and fire started blasting her back to the point where she was cursing mild obscenities. I think eventually she red lined too long and they stopped the chamber.

In the last show, final segment one guy managed to survive all 7 levels but yet failed to answer 25 questions. He won $20,000 and then supposedly sued the show for $100k because he was hospitalized hours afterward for his medical bills.

Also the earnings could have been more generous like so. -If losing and before entering level 4, the earnings would be 50% -After entering level 4 but losing: Take Home = Earnings * (Level made it) / (7); thus if the contestant made it to level 7, they would take home what they see at least. -If win but didn't answer 25 questions correctly Take Home = Earnings + $50,000. -If answer 25 questions correctly $100,000 take home Of course, this would be before taxes came out, and maybe the last one would only count if they made it to level 7 (but given the circumstances that no one ever answered 25 questions, I don't see how if anyone else would have only made it to level 6 or before and answered all the questions correctly).

The fact that as long as a contestant didn't answer two questions incorrectly back to back, they could get as many incorrect answers with no penalty was very generous.

This show was indeed pretty cool IMO, with all the statistics showing (CAUTION/SAFE/DANGER zone), (Temperature), (Quake Scale), (Wind cannons at 'x' MPH), and whole bunch of other stats. Plus the lights and mist made it look even cooler.

I remember that the FOX website had a special section for this show where you could play an online version of the game, but still kinda cool (I just remember the question box rocking and rotating upside down). I would actually be willing to purchase this show IF it ever came out on DVD, just to see those other three episodes there were never aired.

So overall from this extensive review I have just given (and I think I'm only like the 2nd person to review this), this was a great idea for a show but it was just taken way to far and turned into something very brutal. Otherwise, it could have been a SMASH HIT.

Dark Tower (1987)

Decent 80s horror thriller but ending is total let down

[5/10 · 16 February 2012]

So I saw this on NetFlix and was looking for a nice scary horror thriller. Hopefully one that wasn't gory and laced with strong profanity, just one that was scary.

Watching this seemed like a very under rated film and was somewhat enjoyable. It was no 1408 or the Shining but it seemed to be only a few steps behind that.

The main premise is that this lady has designed this tall office building. She's the architect. But strange deaths start occurring. The place is obviously haunted. But by what? One detective eventually sees the supposed ghost and tries doing some research. He soon realizes that he has psychic powers better than some shrink (or her patient through a psychic exercise of guessing colors and numbers) he hires to investigate the building.

The film moves a bit slow but the suspense is quite interesting as the psychiatrist tries to communicate to the unrest-ed spirit to try and set things right.

One main interesting thing is how they keep showing the inside of the elevator shaft as the elevator is going up/down.

But the ending is disappointing and not pretty as more people die and not even clear to why the lady killed her ex-husband nor even why his spirit kills all those other people instead of just getting back at the wife. It's not the ending I wanted nor even expected.

This film sort of reminded a bit of that 'Tower' movie I reviewed back in the summer, only this time instead of the security system going berserk its a ghost.

The Tower (1993 TV Movie)

Refreshingly addictive

[6/10 · 28 June 2011]

The Tower 1993 movie is definitely a very flawed but yet enjoyable SCI-FI fantasy horror film.

New worker Tony Minot (played by Paul Reiser) messes his key card by using the old jimmy the lock open trick after locking himself out of his apartment (back then they seemed to issue the key cards before your first day of work).

It's not quite clear what Tony's new exact job is, but he isn't the model worker. He seems to eat unhealthy (cold pizza for breakfast), goof off (play paper ball slide on vent ducts), failed to watch the orientation videos (they were boring), and tampers with the equipment which gets the security system really upset.

Littlehill the boss (Roger Rees) is definitely a no non-sense guy stickler. But then again he gives Tony a huge assignment just before quitting time that day; despite the fact that Tony has a date. I mean come on, it's his first day; and then of all things Littlehill goes into his own personal sauna (a sauna at work??).

But that's just the least of Tony's worries as the security system goes on night mode and turns very brutal starting to execute the employees; thinking they're Tony.

Tony eventually makes it out but then his co-worker (Linda played by Susan Norman) steps in and he has to rescue her and go back through the horror fun house for round two.

This film is like that X-Files episode "Ghost in the Machine" plugging into DIE HARD.

While the film is set on 8/1/1992 (which is actually a Saturday), the music and sounds make it seem more like 1987 or 1988.

This is just yet another underrated TV movie. The whole film seems unintentionally funny.

I would definitely see the film if it sounds interesting.

Blank Check (1994)

Sort of like Cop 1/2 and Home Alone theme

[7/10 · 1 May 2011]

Brian Boswell plays 11 year old Preston who only wants one thing. Well, everything. But it mainly boils down to money. It doesn't help that his older brothers have stolen what little life savings he had and on top of that need his room for their marketing job.

Things keep getting worse when a town bully decides to embarrass him and later steal his birthday check. Incidentally bad guy Carl Quigley (played by Miguel Ferrer) happens to run over Preston's bike and explodes at him, but the town bully seems to decide to give Quigley some trouble. Quigley apparently just out of prison decides to write a check for the bike but seeing a cop, gives Preston the check with only his signature and takes off in haste. Preston later realizes this and fills it out for $1,000,000. But what's really going on is that bank owner Biderman (Michael Lerner) is supposed to give $1 million to a guy named Juice (Tone Loc), and just so happens to mistaken Preston for Juice.

So now, the theme takes place with Preston (also using alias Macintosh, the name he gave when prompted after buying the house, where he used his Macintosh computer to speak) partying like no tomorrow and dating an undercover bank lady Shay (Karen Duffy). But these three guys are after Preston, yet unaware that Shay and the FBI are also after these three guys and eager to meet this so called Macintosh. And one thing for sure is that this ain't going to end to happy (well, it might for a PG film but it'll get a bit tense before a happy ending) While this film has so many flaws, I have found it very addicting to this day. I've probably seen it +20 times.

For one thing, the cast of actors/actresses is pretty decent.

Miguel Ferrer (from Another Stakeout and Hot Shots 2) seems to be his usual 'bad behavior' bad guy (popping a little kid's balloon and cutting Biderman's phone).

James Rebhorn (from Carlito's Way and My Cousin Vinny) plays as Preston's dad, and seems very PC type.

Jayne Atkinson (from 24 as Karen Hayes) plays as Preston's mom.

Tone Loc plays as bad guy Juice who was supposed to get the million dollars. He makes several wise cracks throughout the film.

Michael Lerner (from When do we Eat) plays as a big fat bank owner Biderman, who seems very funny when it comes to making excuses.

Karen Duffy plays as the undercover FBI agent passing off as a bank teller who Preston has the hots for.

Debbie Allen plays as Preston's party planner, who just seems to show up out of the blew and seems to take over the film in the few scenes she can (although it's very funny when someone pulls part of her fake wig off and she screeches).

And Rick Ducommun plays as Preston's friendly limo driver who at one point goes on about how he doesn't understand those philosophical expressions.

Overall a very flawed but enjoyable film. The actors/actresses above really keep the film entertaining.