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Reviews
Bullet Train (2022)
A New Classic in Corny
If you love action, martial arts, comedy, mystery, and a truely hilarious airtime scene, this movie may be for you!
If you like a good corny romp, it's definately for you!
Pitt is at his understated yet hilarious best as a snatch and grab guy trying to find himself, while surounded by hatchet men, samurai, a psycho, teen girl and what looks like a giant marshmallows.
You will definitely notice a few scenes and sequence with a touch of Deadpool to them, because of actors and shooting style.
And the cameos, it is just rediculous how many times I thought "Do I know that actor?" Only to realise who it was from looking at the cast list!
You know you want to indulge, do it!
Vampire Academy (2022)
Painful!
It only gets a 3 as it finally picked up in the last 2 episodes.
After all the complaints about the movie, I was expecting good things for the series, after all there is more time, more characters more room to build the world.
If you are a fan of the books, don't waste the binge time!
For the majority of the series the whole cast are as dry as stale toast and fail miserably to build any kind of chemistry. That includes the 2 main romantic couples.
Worst they have put the story through the shred and picked bit out of the pile to build a story.
Why bother?
If you are going to do that you would be better off just writting a new story rather than destroying one that is so loved.
Also in the era of the ethnic Little Mermaid is such a hot topic, they have played around with the ethnicity of the characters that were described in the books but no one is complaining! Neither am I!
Just pointing out the irony.
The have also added plenty of unnecessary sexual tension, including gay and lesbian representation. Again, I don't care.
But it should be pointed out that these books were written for teens.
So, even if they ened up there later and the teens age with the series, they didn't need to start there.
The queen has a few quips that makes one wish she got more time, especially at the end of the season.
And in the last 2 episodes the romantic pairs managed.... well... seem like they could at least be mates.
Honestly, drivel amongst so much drivel.
Recommended- Watch anything else.
Ghosts (2021)
Has potential but it is a weak start!
Surprisingly, I came to this with an open mind. I loved the British Ghosts and feel that this show could work anywhere. I was excited to see what changes they make and was not displeased by the idea of different characters.
I did find the start a little jarring. Instead of ordinary couple dealing with everyday life, then a big surprise, it was just bam! Big surprise!
I quite like the actors cast, each taking their own roll. Unlike the British version where the Horrible Histories Crew played all of the ghost parts.
In this version and with the extended cast they had so much to work with but unfortunately they tried to carbon copy certain characters character traits and dialogue. The scout leader swapping, the politician for a wall street guy and the cavemen for a Viking, sadly the carbon copy didn't work.
As for the lead couple, the livings, Rose McIver comes off quite thick she's far too peppee.
Utkarsh Ambedkar was a lovely surprise! Seeing an intelligent spouse trying to deal with a ditzy wife who can now see ghosts was a nice change from the British version.
The ghost line up unfortunately fall short. Even with the new characters as support the first 7 episodes managed to only produce 2 truly funny moments.
The biggest problem seems to be where they've copied dialogue straight from the British version. They then have the ghosts over explain what they mean. Instead of assuming the viewer is stupid, let them figure out the implied meaning.
I have to admit I like the idea of having a native American in the show and little bit more diversity. Unfortunately, there's one line when he jokingly says that he is a modern-day guy dressed up. If that were actually the case, it word made a lot more sense. I understand it's a hard line to walk when you want to portray something but don't want to look like you're mocking anybody in today's climate, especially in a comedy show. But at the end of the day he's character as an authentic ancient Native American just doesn't work.
Inclusion of a Viking was interesting but they've used him to replace a caveman character. The original caveman was intelligent with limited communication skills, the viking has just been portrayed as big and stupid.
I like the randomness of the hippie. And she's meant to take the place of Kitty from the original but they've managed to make a different enough to be her own character.
Pete vs the UK's Pat the scout leader is disappointing as in the original Pat is a bit of a go between for the living and ghosts, wise and caring, someone who just want everyone to be happy. Pete however, is far more over-the-top and aggressive making him a lot harder to like. Odd considering it's essentially a cut and paste job on the character and dialogue.
The lady of the house honestly just feel like a watered down version of the British one and again she seems to be one they tried to carbon copy the dialogue for.
One thing I'm missing is the servant from the British show it was nice having that lower class element a long side the toffs. Instead she's been swapped out for a jazz singer how just feels a bit of annoying.
As for the cholera pit characters, not utilised well.
One thing the US version has done, they've taken elements from the British characters and spread them out across multiple people. This means the Commander as the replacement for the Captain ends up being far more wishy-washy, as if he were Thomas Thorne the poet.
Overall the ghost characters far less certain are who they're meant to be. Of all the Ghosts seen in the first 7 episodes The Paperboy is honestly the most true character if the show makes it past season 1 I hope we see more of him.
Primeval: New World (2012)
A 90s/00s mashup vibe, why?
I know the title shounds weird and to be clear I have only 1 episodes into the series.
But, as an avid fan of the original, the first 5mins of New World had me wondering if I could make it through the series.
It opens with a very 90's vibe, almost Buffy-esque with the running in the forest scene.
There are the very b-grade, maybe even c-grade dinosaurs.
Then we dive into the emotional crash.
Literally, the first 4 mins feel like 3 seperate shows.
As for the cast. Individually I really like all the main cast. But our Canadian lead, he is fine as the bad boy turned good roles and cast co leads but as the primary... Hell no!
I am committed to trudging through the remaining episodes. Tjere are not that many after all. If things improve I will change my review.
But as of right now, I would just lime to say stop trying to remake UK show, you don't do it well!
Primeval: New World (2012)
A 90s/00s mashup vibe, why?
I know the title shounds weird and to be clear I have only 1 episodes into the series.
But, as an avid fan of the original, the first 5mins of New World had me wondering if I could make it through the series.
It opens with a very 90's vibe, almost Buffy-esque with the running in the forest scene.
There are the very b-grade, maybe even c-grade dinosaurs.
Then we dive into the emotional crash.
Literally, the first 4 mins feel like 3 seperate shows.
As for the cast. Individually I really like all the main cast. But our Canadian lead, he is fine as the bad boy turned good roles and cast co leads but as the primary... Hell no!
I am committed to trudging through the remaining episodes. Tjere are not that many after all. If things improve I will change my review.
But as of right now, I would just lime to say stop trying to remake UK show, you don't do it well!
Artemis Fowl (2020)
Far better than reviews make out!
Lets start with the big 4,
Farrell is playing a minor role, the set up. He is not wasted! He just isn't the lead!
Dame Judy, she is fabulous, again, not wasted. I think she has just reach a point in her career where she is more concerned with having fun with a wider diversification of characters. And why not. Love her as the grizzled old fairy military leader!
Gads, Gads has taken more than a few oddball roles, for no other reason that he had the time and like the idea, just look at that randon aussie zombie flick he did. He did kinda steal the show, but it also felt like it was all a pilot like set up for future movies or a tv series.
Branagh, I think he did a good job visually and the story unrolls nicely. But possibly aimed for the wrong age group. The dry humour seems to have gone over the heads of the american critics based on their reviews and would not be something young fans of the books would necessarily get.
This movie was a fun. But while I doubt current fans of the books will be satisified, the mythicly and visually interesting introduction to the world of Artemis Fowl is wonderful. If you haven't read the books, this will make you want to! It could easily be a jumping off point for a tv series focussed on the 3 kids while the other adult characters are elsewhere, but if required could do the occasiinal cameo.
Dirty Dancing (2017)
Save your self the trauma
I can understand the younger actors wanting in on a remake of the perfection that was Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey's Dirty Dancing!
However, the older actors can not be forgiven for even considering this monstrosity!
Stiff, badly acted, badly danced, words added where only the original script was needed, more off shoot stories and TURNED INTO A MUSICAL!
As for the after show, the beauty of the original was that it was left to the imagination.
There is such a thing as to much of a bad thing will not make it better.
They should have made a parody out of it, at least then we could excuse this rubbish offering.
Swayze will be spinning in his grave.
Miss Fisher and the Crypt of Tears (2020)
One for fans and fun and fashion lovers!
Ok, We know it wouldn't be you standard movie. It is a bit schlocky, but as another critic said "It was definately made for the fans." So true!
Yes, I am one such fan!
I'll start with the negatives because the positives make up for them and knowing in advance lessens the potential sting.
You open with the year and back history, a blue and silver creature whirls through the scene in a very Phryne fashion, and you are off!
The begining is a little chunky but when you are trying to put what would a been a season in to a movie or long running episode, it's not surprising.
Nor are the number of Aussies who's English accents vanish mid sentance.
We are used to contending with one past or renewed love interest vs Jack, there was a more play here but lest acting on it.
Three fabulous actors who are wasted.
Rupert Penry-Jones, love his part but it could have been so much more powerful if he had been able to play to the return soldier more than the tormented brother.
Jacquline Mckenzie, the biggest let down of the three, she was completely wasted! Nothing more than a redheaded shadow passing through scenes. When drama insues because of here behaviour, I actually had to stop myself saying "Huh??!"
Daniel Lapaine, always fun but his part came off more camp and borish due to what lacked in Penry-Jones' role and in McKenzie's redheaded shade.
The locations, loved the desert and the old world feel but it was a shame the budget didn't stretch to permissions for more cityscapes, instead having blured scenes.
Considering their 8million budget vs the high range tens of millions other movie cost, they did really well!
Now, on to the love.
I used to want her dresses and jewels, now I want her shoes!
The desert locations were breathtaking!
The Bedouin scenes were simple and beautiful. Well done when based on a childs memory. Those little nuances.
Izabella Yena is wonderful! I'll leave it at that.
The flash of the old regulars at the start, Dot's surprise and seeing Hugh be loving but firm.
Jack! Dot mentions his broken heart and it does make one want to slap Jack. But, once he and Phryne are back on the same continent you can see the magic even if he is a little worse for ware. The adventure side of the story definatley shows he is up to keeping up with Phryne's life and he can look good doing it.
Funnily, Penry-Jones looks less comfortable in this element. Naturally making Jack look even more rugged.
And Phyrne's Phryne! What more needs saying! Though I did like the events in England where she shows the quiter more observant elements, less flamboyant and more considering, as she watches disaster unraveling around her.
Also enjoyed the uncertainty with Jack for the first half of the film. The character is still evolving.
And Jack and Phryne together. They manage to come to the end of the movies with things circling around to a solid making fans happy ending that put right the niggle Dot's words at the start put in place.
Then there is the extra scene that gives the option for a second movie.
I only hope The Powers That Be can appreciate this fine effort and bring budget to bear for a second full scale production.
Assassin's Creed (2016)
A good movie!
The unfortunate thing about this movie and many others is that these days there are so many movies being put out there has to be a certain percentage of profit based on the american market...
However this was a damn hine movie and a great way to get people who have never played the game or read the books, into it.
During an interview Fassbender said some of reasons it bombed were that the action didn't kick off immediately. Action without context is okay! But the commitmemt to the issues of time, the honor to duty, you need that context.
He also said the layered timelines shouldn't hae been done. He was wrong, it's brilliant! You get to understand the strugle to survive as a people, a child loss of everything, only to find it again. Really good social commentary in a day and age when often, to fit in, we put aside our heritage and traditions.
The split tome lines also opened the way for two parralel franchises, one following modern day assassins and another following the characters the fans already know and love anchored in the past.
I really hope the get off their backsides ans get to work on more films. If Fassbender doesn't want back in, move on to a different assassin.
American Gods (2017)
Visually Spectacular! But, do the show then the books!
I'm reading American Gods, after watching the show.... Sooo Good!
The tele-series is sliced diced and put through the compactor and mainly focuses on Shadow blindly following Wednesday around and the plight of the walking corpse, Shadow's wife...
I enjoy the drama of the show and and Wednesday, some how becomes increasingly attractive, working on you as he does in the book...
Great visuals!
Do the Show first then expand on it with the books!
The book, I'm only on the first, builds this imaginatively visually rich world that flows through time, culture, history, myth and legend... You see this world through Shasow's eys and those other Character's who's stories are narrated by Mr Ibis...
Amazingly well written and so easy to read...
Emerald City (2016)
A truely beautifly crafted twist!
All I need to say is wow!
But I will add that to start, there is some brilliant international talent. It's visually stunning in an "it could real" way!
And there are just enough changes in style and perspective that it keeps the story fresh and doesn't impact on and is not impacted on by our childhood memory of the Wizard of Oz.
When I finished watching the series I was so elated by the end sequence that I wanted to know when season 2 would be out...
All I can say is that capitalism wins and another great show is put to death before it's time... because not enough people came to it quickly enough... With the likes if GoTs out there, I'm stunned any fantasy show makes it past season1...
Electric Dreams (2017)
Beauty and The Brain!
In the style of Night Vision and The Outer Limits, modernised! Not the stories, they are classic themes well worked but the modern style of acting, filming and the greater diversity make them fresh!
They are beautiful to watch and even knowing the outcome, you will keep double guessing your understanding!
Holmes & Watson (2018)
Sandler sydrome strikes Farrell, again!
I have just walked out of a packed cinema and the funniest part of the film was that, in this comedy romp, no one laughed the entire film!
There were 2 awkward cringe worthy moments with John C. Reilly that warmed you up to a laugh as Ferrell brought it home, but Ferrell fell flat everytime!
There is a musical number, Ferrell is decent but if you can get past him, Reilly's voice is beautiful!
Loved seeing Hugh Laurie, a shame he was under utilised... Laurie could teach them how to stay relevant! Or atleast boost the story and fun!
Kelly McDonald and Ralph Fiennes, again, brilliant actors whose talents were completely wasted on this contrivance.
I think this is my favourite Steve Coogan role, he was a joy to watch and used well.
Pam Ferris and Rob Brydon were both a delight and I'd love to see them in the same parts again, in a straight version!
Sadly Coogan, Ferris and Brydon are not enough to save this trainwreck!
As for the "American Ladies" Rebecca Hall and Lauren Lapkus, they did an admirable job! Managing to make the film watchable if not funny or enjoyable...
So much high quality talent from both sides of the pond and this flick is an utter waste of time and money for both the viewer and ultimately the poor folks who have their names and money tied to it!
American Gods (2017)
Visually Spectacular! But, do the show then the books!
I'm reading American Gods, after watching the show.... Sooo Good!
The tele-series is sliced diced and put through the compactor and mainly focuses on Shadow blindly following Wednesday around and the plight of the walking corpse, Shadow's wife...
I enjoy the drama of the show and and Wednesday, some how becomes increasingly attractive, working on you as he does in the book...
Great visuals!
Do the Show first then expand on it with the books!
The book, I'm only on the first, builds this imaginatively visually rich world that flows through time, culture, history, myth and legend... You see this world through Shasow's eys and those other Character's who's stories are narrated by Mr Ibis...
Amazingly well written and so easy to read...
Doctor Who: Robot of Sherwood (2014)
Surprising
To start with, I won't go into the heavy duty review like the others have. Simply put it is a bit of camp fun with a beautiful message at the end and that does not have to be a bad thing. The other seasons of Doctor Who have all had the heavy and light episodes. It is merely a case of greater extremes. As for peoples issues with the Robin Hood factor, it was lovely to see this apparent dolt/legend/hero/outlaw/normal man just trying to live his life and find his love and how he parallels the Doctor. The final dialogue between the Doctor and Robin, I think, sums up not only the episode but all of Doctor Who, and much more beside.
Shame (1992)
A weak remake
When I learned that Shame had been remade by the Americans I jumped online to watch it. I grew up with the original of this flick (Aussie, 88, with Deborra-Lee Furness as the lead)having seen it on numerous occasions I couldn't pass up checking out this version. I went into watching this remake with an open mind as mates had said it was basically word for word & scene for scene with the biggest difference being the accents. All I can say is... WRONG!!!!! While the lines are said and the scenes are very close, I call weak effort on this. It is a tough topic to watch but this version just doesn't have the grit of the original. As odd as it sounds, it's too clean, too polished. It feels like a cheap copy. It's a topic that's been done before and in this remake the actors have done a decent job but none of them have managed to make the characters really stand out from all the other similar ones. With this version I was left feeling only a shadow of what I normally feel from this story. Shame will make you brim with rage & it will break your heart on multiple levels! There is no pretty ending! But if you want to see this flick and take the emotional hammering then I recommend you go with the original.