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Reviews
The Flash (2023)
Flashpoint-less
Unbearably bad. Someone, somewhere, is making a mint by siphoning many millions away from cgi budgets. And script budgets, and costume budgets, and... Flash's budget was around $200 million and I didn't see half of that on the screen. The nose on Affleck's Batman outfit was unfinished, as was the bottom of Gadot's WW skirt. Laughable. Line readings were something out of some lowest tier of TV production. Unbelievable. How does something like this leave a major studio, in this poor a shape, and be lauded as one of the best new superhero films?
The golden age of superheroes in cinemas is ending.
Black Adam (2022)
Anti is for hero
Went to the theater fully expecting to want to walk out midway through Adam. The reviews spoke of completely nonsensical flick, with no redeeming features. My prejudices were almost completely foiled. The low level product that Marvel has recently pumped out was readily outshone by a marvelous maelstrom of higher tier cgi. Cyclone, in action, on screen is a fanboy's wonder to behold. My only reservations were an entire Middle Eastern city acting as English speaking teenagers & the somewhat clumsy handling of the vintage, & revered, character Dr. Fate. Happy, happy sooprise, post first credits.
House of the Dragon: The Princess and the Queen (2022)
A Game, again
After 5 disaffecting episodes, House of Dragon, in my opinion, has finally hit it's stride. Recasting aside, this seems like an entirely different show, with serious palace intrigue properly taking the throne, finally.
I've spent the past weeks, mourning the end of Game of Thrones, with House of Dragon falling all too short of my expectations. Episode 6 renewed my faith in the series. The new cast members, in the title roles of this episode, shine, now, as their multi-faceted characters. And the previous Game of Thrones maxim of 'no character is sacred' finds a bleak, yet satisfying, place here.
She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (2022)
Balance
After almost 60 years of collecting comic books, I've learned to appreciate superhero comics that are just flat out funny. I bought She Hulk, when I was younger, because I expected more of 'Hulk smash!', but I got something more. A main character that realized the absurdity of its fantastical premise and was able to discuss just that overblown concept with the reader (Long before Deadpool). This, without any spoilers, is what this show delivers, along with some flat out laughs.
Ricky Gervais: SuperNature (2022)
Canned Laughter
Nothing to watch here but mid-level Netflix product. Love Gervais. Don't love an apparently empty theater emitting robotic giggles in response to a truly mediocre performance.
Jupiter's Legacy (2021)
Glory Be
Seems I should be thankful that this excellent series only ran one season. Thinking that the moneys necessary would have been slashed, given Legacy's apparently lackluster ratings, for a second go, and that the titanic world created in the first run would have definitely been greatly diminished by those limitations.
Read the books. They're worth anyone's while.
Eternals (2021)
At long last, ETERNALLY boring
The very first time I've watched a Marvel film and thought, 'These are actors, in costumes, doing pretty silly stuff.', the entire movie. IMAX added very little to this culturally ambitious, but seemingly rushed, and oddly amateurish, production. Jack 'The King' Kirby received proper accreditation for the creation of these characters, however, I did not find Eternals to be a fitting tribute to this seminal Marvel creator.
Dune (2021)
Magnificent Folly
I've been reading Dune since 1968. The books are detail laden volumes which slowly, but deliberately, set you firmly in the vast geopolitical/mystical landscapes of Arrakis/Dune and its many peoples. Fine as the cast and director of this current incarnation are, I feel that far too little of that world has been put forth in much too much time.
Swamp Thing (2019)
Read the books
Half way through the pilot and I gave up on any chance of logic raising it's pretty head.
One of the main characters, Abby Arcane, insists that all ppe precautions are to be strictly followed, in the face of some new disease, to insure the well being of all caregivers. Abby then proceeds to shed more and more ppe as she cares for a patient (no goggles), investigates a point of infection (just gloves), and performs an 'autopsy' on a massively infected cadaver (only scrubs & gloves). Within those scenes there is stilted direction, dialogue, and acting. No way to engage an audience.
I love the books this program is based upon, but Swamp Thing, the comic, has far more going on, story sense wise, on it's first page, than this show ever did during it's first 35 minutes.
I'm going back the source.
The Wretched (2019)
Subtract The and you have the perfect review title
Wretched is the best way to describe this unfrightening fright film. C grade writing, direction, acting, etc made this movie a protracted effort for this viewer to finish.
Star Trek: Picard (2020)
This is Star Trek.
Plainly said, I've been Star Trek fan for over 50 years. From the heights of TOS to the inglorious end of under rated Enterprise.
Discovery put me off with it's noncanon Federation, technology, Klingons, Vulcans, and 'you name it, they trashed it'.
3 episodes into Chabon scripted Picard and I'm back on board. Jean Luc was and is the man to follow.
The Photograph (2020)
Rom bomb
Love love love Issa Rae. She's the only one getting the three stars for just being in this unqualified dud.
15 minutes in, not much going on. 30 minutes, even less happening. 45 minutes, I'm out of the door.
Save your buckos for bargain Valentine's chocolate.
Birds of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn (2020)
Not anyone's Birds of Prey, or H Q
Beware of positive reviews that refer to films they rate highly as 'uneven'. It's critic speak for when what little appeal the flick they're shilling, may have had, drops away into some infinitely deep hole of 'no quality lives down here'.
There's around 10 minutes, total, of near fun in this whole picture. That is all.
To the producers of this farce, and to wary would be viewers, I have this to say : Read. The. Books. And. Respect. The. Source.
Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood (2019)
Going Nowhere
Love these actors, and this director, but somebody left this movie in a holding pattern over all other Q T films. And never let it land for more than a moment and then back into the air it went, just circling, circling, with wistful gazes at the action below.
There is a limited stopover, but that short respite does not a movie make.
Annabelle Comes Home (2019)
High levels of everything, excepting sustained thrills
Great production values, very good cast, but the true scares are few and far between. If you want to be horrified by poor writing, lackadaisical direction, and by having pretty much the entire list of z grade fright flick cliches checked off, then go see this movie. I, however, would recommend bringing a decent pillow, 'tis a total snoozefest.
X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019)
Pro and am critics with agendas
50+ years as a comic collector, just fyi.
I dragged many non geek friends to the first X-Men film and 99% of them were awestruck. Instant fans.
I'm going to try to drag everyone who's listened to the disparagers of Dark Phoenix, as I did for weeks, and tell you that I think the film is exceptional.
I've read the source material, the Claremont books, and found them melodramatic, soap operatic, and yawn inducing. The Dark Phoenix movie has a far more interesting take, albeit while straying far from X-Men canon, and I believe it deserves serious consideration, or reconsideration, by all X-Fans.
John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)
No point
Like watching someone play a video game that they've never lost a match in. About 90 plus minutes of a 2 hours and change film with nothing but that. I know there's an audience for those games, and there's big money in that market, but that does not make for even a passable movie. Just popcorn fodder.
The Twilight Zone (2019)
Right wing trolls cloned
Where did all the reactionaries come from? Complaints about liberal agendas being shoved down one's throat are unfounded. The casts have people of color, but the messages are for everyone. Though the low star reviewers may be bots, I urge them, and their backers, to take a better look at this fine series.
Halloween (2018)
Less than the sum of its parts.
Good gosh what an unholy mess of an unscary film. The first section should have been a clue. Striking visuals devolve all too quickly into a melodramatic mess meant to provoke some giddy sense of anticipation for things to come but really just leave you saying 'Whaaa...?'. Rinse and repeat, ad nauseam.
Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)
What the heck happened here?
Monotonous dialogue, ultimately senseless flashbacks, tension sought, but ultimately remaining unestablished throughout the film. It was only the last 5-10 minutes that really warranted watching. Jeff Bridges was, sadly, only bearable, Jon Hamm's appearance was, perhaps, all too brief, and beloved Hemsworth seems only capable of Thor and SNL. But I have to say that the lady, Cynthia Erivo, is the shining exception that stole the show from her costars with both her standout acting and soulful singing.
Otherwise, don't waste your time, please.
Venom (2018)
Nap worthy flick.
Takes a knack for a crowd of someones to make a shining cast and crew look like a group of dull and droning hacks. The producers of Venom have that knack for hack in spades. Rest, relax, and do yourself a great favor. Run, don't walk, away from this sorry, money grubbing, slow motion train wreck of a film.
Stephanie (2017)
Please don't...
Starts nowhere and goes nowhere. Waste of time for all involved. Better wishes for my Fringe fave, Anna Torv.
The Sinner (2017)
Ms. Biel is almost just enough
Logic holes begin to yawn ever so widely, as almost always, in the third act. Everest high cheekbones, Ms. Biel, will carry even a limited series only so far.
Before I Wake (2016)
Third act fails
Title of this review sez it all, folks. Sweet, thoughtful, somewhat thrilling two thirds of a film that ends with an illogical whimper.