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Reviews
Splice (2009)
Unbelievably atrocious movie in almost every way imaginable.
What do you get when you combine some of the worst possible dialog you'll ever hear, a story that is absolute drivel, plot points that seem to come out of nowhere, and acting that's unfit for a C movie? Splice is what you get.
It's far beyond me how anyone can give this movie more than 1 or 2 stars...at the theater I saw it at almost everyone was howling with laughter throughout. There is nothing scary, nothing memorable (except for the hilarity that a bad movie provides), and nothing worth praising (aside from how frighteningly cute the "monster" is at times). Adrien Brody is positively wasted on this.
I don't even want to spend any more time describing this mess; do yourself a favor and save that 1 hour and 45 minutes of your life for something else, unless you relish bottom of the barrel movies.
Ôdishon (1999)
Fantastic movie that unfortunately blunders into snuff.
While I can appreciate the smart pacing of the first three quarters of this film, with fantastic subtlety and Miike's ability to hold back and procure many subtle, dark hints that serve to blanket your mind with uncertainty and dread, I feel that it dips into pure snuff territory for the finale. There is nothing ingenious or subtle about the way the film handles it: we find out exactly why Asami is performing her acts of horror, and it seems to come from nowhere despite previous views into her past; we know that she's had a horrific life in many ways, but her actual feeling of men wanting nothing more than to sleep with her is not congruent with how she has described her past. It feels cheap and too easy, and the actual torture techniques seem to stem from the pure enjoyment of them instead of the craftiness of the previous three quarters (the director did not want this last long scene, as I'll mention in more detail later).
It's really too bad because the movie was shaping up to be a brilliant, twisted take on love and life. The brutality of the end could have been meaningful in a sick way, but just ends up being unthoughtful due to the fact that it's done in immature detail and just gets wrapped up too easily; the meaning and nuance of the first three quarters of the film get lost.
What works more are the terrifying images of Asami's deranged mind when we actually see the man in the bag, etc., in concert with the bewildering (at first) and nightmarish dream-like situations that flutter and change about in Aoyami's mind after he's been drugged. I only wish that the entire ending torture scene could have been done in a smarter way so as not to come off like an insipid snuff film, which it does when the very ending simply comes and goes in a cheesy way.
Apparently Miike wanted to end the film right before the entire end scene of Asami torturing Aoyama, but the producers wanted it in there (audiences can be dumb that way, yes). Nice way to completely screw up a great movie, big wigs! A very cheap and immature move on their part.
The True Story of Che Guevara (2007)
It's refreshing to see an accurate portrayal of Che.
I've done tons of reading and studying of this man, and was pleasantly surprised to see a documentary that captures all sides of Che, who was as imperfect as anyone is. This program does NOT portray him as Hitler, as some seem to think - it's a fair and balanced take on his story. Really well done...kept me glued to the TV and didn't cop out.
It looks like a good amount of research went into this, and there is also some great footage. Sometimes these kinds of programs can be dry and boring, but this kept me interested. Without revealing anything, you will truly get the full-rounded picture of Che, which is a great thing all around.
Syriana (2005)
BRILLIANT, but not for viewers who want everything handed to them on a plate.
For the first 45 minutes or so, I was wondering, "what the heck is this about!?", yet I was fully intrigued and involved. Then, smooth as silk, the premise and deep subtleties of the plot became abundantly clear -- a fantastic reward for moviegoers who have intelligence, and know how to think for themselves. For those who expect a big bang Hollywood piece of bloat, prepare to be disappointed. This is a very unusual movie, in that it literally submerges you in multiple story lines, lives, and issues, and does not tell you how you're supposed to process them, which is disarming and sometimes confusing at first. Instead, it slowly seams things together in a brilliant, subtle way, until you are right in the middle of the blast point. I've never seen a filmmaker do this with such skill. The actors are all fantastic, except for one very old and evil man, who is over the top and typecast. This frightening and depressing commentary on our modern world is intertwined with the actual lives of those involved, in a very real and honest way. Moving, in a way that nothing else I recall seeing in the last few years can touch, besides Capote, perhaps.
Absolutely brilliant. What a relief to see a movie like this, that gives me credit as a film-goer.
Be Cool (2005)
If this is a sign of Hollywood's future, I want out.
I actually went to see this movie because I have some music in one scene, and almost left the theater, because I have never in recent memory seen such an affront to movie-making.
Humor that doesn't even approach the sorry level of a "King of Queens" episode (playing on every sorry cliché you can possibly imagine), obviousness that will insult the intelligence of a 3 year-old, and dialog and acting that are absolutely bottom of the barrel. I went with a group of 10 people, and we were all laughing out loud by the end, not at the comedy, but at the poor quality of this tripe. I saw about 15 people leave the theater during the show, as well.
Unbearably cheesy (the whole music biz thing w/Christina Milian), predictable, unfunny, with truly awful performances by some great actors...I would recommend not seeing this movie.
Ever.
I question anyone's taste who actually thought this was good. Usually I can respect anyone's opinion, but I have to make an exception in this case.
Hotel Rwanda (2004)
Good movie...very important for America to see.
This movie, while not entirely perfect, is a fine mix of great acting, realism, and humanism. Cheadle does a great job with the lead role, and the supporting cast are all quite believable. The subject matter is extremely important for this country right now, as it shows how, when there is no monetary interest to be had, big countries like America, England, etc, will back out of stopping an unbelievable genocide.
However, the movie holds back in it's graphic depictions, which is either good or bad, depending on your outlook. Personally, I think it should have gone further, as this would have created an even more dire and urgent picture. And in this movie, as opposed to the such films as the Passion of the Christ, the brutality is all modern reality, not based on any religious intent.
The music score is AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL, and shows how a bad score can really tear a movie apart, in my opinion. It was like listening to music from the Lifetime or Hallmark channel...truly bad and misplaced. If they had gone with a more sparse, ethnically appropriate score, it would have pushed Hotel Rwanda over the top, but instead makes some scenes awash in maudlin-ism and near Ewok village-level cheesiness. When the score stands out this way, you know it's bad. One should never be paying attention to the music like this, and it undermines the fine performances.
All in all, a great experience. Just ask the movie theater you're at to turn the music off!!
Un long dimanche de fiançailles (2004)
Could have been great, but ends up mediocre.
The problem with this film is that it does not do a good job of mixing sadness, poignancy, and humor into one, overall. The base flaw for me is that Tatou's character, and her lover, do not have their relationship or their individual persons explored more...the movie is too busy jumping around with very obvious grand visuals, and not-so-subtle oddness. While this worked in Amelie, it does NOT work in this film. The story gets a bit confusing, though one does figure it out, but more than that, the story gets dull. There is not enough momentum building up to the ending, which leaves you wanting more. I did NOT want a cheesy ending, but the way the film builds up to the end simply does not work, and feels empty, to me.
Some of the visuals are breathtaking, and Tatou is OK. The cast and other characters surrounding her often overtake her character, which was not given enough room or script space to really breathe life into, as opposed to Amelie, where she really shines.
To those who are complaining about the sex scenes, it's time to put that Bible away and rejoice in real life, people! Real life has sex, passion, and is not a blurry Hollywood love scene. It's things like this the film handles beautifully...when it really captures what real life is about. Unfortunately, it's not made in a way that pulled me in.
Sideways (2004)
Hollywood, take note. THIS is the way to do a movie.
I don't have too much to add to what everyone else has been raving about...intelligent, witty, and deep entertainment is what this movie is all about. Sometimes it dips down into the toilet, at appropriate times, yet maintains a sympathetic feel that pulls you along for it's 2 hour girth.
THIS is what a REAL romantic comedy is/should be all about...fantastic writing, one of the BEST ENDINGS IN RECENT MEMORY, and dialog that does not insult the intelligence of the viewer. The acting is top-notch, the story is top-notch, and it hits you from such an unexpected angle, that you can do nothing but marvel at the simple yet deep film-making that has just occurred.
Love it!
Saw (2004)
Unbelievably bad movie...quite a disappointment.
Whew...where to begin?
The entire movie theater, and it was full, was simply laughing out loud by the end of this poorly acted, poorly written, and poorly executed movie. What could have been a great idea was squandered because of these things. There is no payoff at all at the end...the "surprise" is so far from left field and not having to do with much of anything important, that you don't even really care, and are eager to leave the theater.
While the premise was great, the way it was handled (jumping around from scene to scene, totally unrealistic dialog between the two captives, no building of suspense whatsoever, no plausible or interesting connection between anything, really) killed my interest after about 15 minutes.
Yes, there were a couple of "scary" scenes, but nothing more than what you'd see on a bad UPN show.
If this is the best that Hollywood can do with a scary movie, then I say forget Hollywood.
I'm not sure that the positive reviewers saw the same movie, honestly.
Hellboy (2004)
Hollywood comes up short again.
Very disappointing movie. I felt like I was sitting back and watching something happen from a distance. The fight scenes were not involving, the plot is quite frankly laughable (gaping, gaping holes), and the climax is not climactic at all...you don't really care what is happening to anyone because the character development is so poor. Hellboy has some funny lines, but somehow I felt like I had no idea who he really was, or for that matter who ANYone really was. Romantic? The whole romance thing could have been a cool spin but instead it was relegated to cliches, and not enough time developing.
FX do not drive a movie, and this is evidence of that. I can't understand why film makers aren't all looking at the first Matrix, and all of the LOTR films, for proof that great stories and great character development are what drive a great action/sci-fi film. This was a could-have-been that ends up being a never-been. Rent both Blade movies for a better example of this type of flick.
Hellboy left me limp.