Change Your Image
dividebyzero
Reviews
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
Terrible.
Terrible.
Where to start..
Ok.
It's a fair interpretation of the last days of Jesus' life as according to the gospels. But it is so poorly carried out as to be insulting to the intelligence of the average movie goer.
For example, for some reason they decided to spell symbolism in bold capital letters. It wasn't symbolism so much as S*Y*M*B*O*L*I*S*M. Every time something symbolic would happen, the camera would zoom in and everything would go slow motion. This happened about every 45 seconds. Had the movie not used slow motion, it would have been about 55 minutes long. Bad symbolism ensures that an audience remains totally disconnected from a movie.
The music changed exactly as the story did, something that should only be reserved for pulp movies.
Satan was pretty cool. Unfortunately he/she was not given a context; you didn't really know why he/she was in those chosen scenes. Oh yeah..Gibson also decided to use deformed children and deformed babies to represent Satan's demons. Somewhat distasteful, and it was a pretty good example of S*Y*M*B*O*L*I*S*M that this movie tries to hit you with.
This movie had an unprecedented level of violence. I'm a horror fan and I've never actually seen a close up slow motion view of skin, blood, veins, muscle and fat being torn from a man's ribcage with a razor blade tipped whip. Until now. Basically, the movie is 2 hours of Jesus bleeding. Gorehounds would love this movie. It almost made me sick. It was sad to see that violence was the only way emotion was brought into the story. There was potential for much more. Maybe some acting would have helped? Or some decent dialogue?
Absolutely no context for the characters. Jesus is portrayed as a weepy pawn. Mary is portrayed as a helpless doting mother. The disciples are barely present and don't do much of anything. Judas was nothing but a backstabber.. they barely made him human (according to the Bible, he was the catalyst for the sacrifice; had he not done what he did, Jesus would have not been crucified and would not have been able to avert the apocalypse). The only character with any depth was Pontious Pilate.
The movie's format was problematic. Basically it tries to be a 'flashback' movie. You know, where the main story occasionally stops to explain something that happened in the character's past. But this movie does it so badly you end up confused. They're done at random and mostly have nothing to do with his current state of affairs. And unless you have a good understanding of the gospels you're lost in the flashbacks; they don't make it clear who he's talking to; what he's doing; or why he's doing it.
For example, there's a Mary Magdalene flashback that has only three short cuts: Jesus drawing a line in the sand, a bunch of rocks being thrown onto the ground, and a hand reaching for Jesus' foot. Ms. Magdalene was barely present in the movie, though I suppose the same could be said for the Bible. There's a short flashback with Lazerus' sister.... Amarian? (not sure if that's her name) that was presented with no backstory whatsoever. The random flashbacks looked like they were added in after the rest of the movie was done, and didn't help anything.
There are a few completely ridiculous aspects of the movie.
King Herod: Remember "Jesus Christ Superstar"? It's the same character. Exactly. He's a dirty, fat yippie. I waited for him to break out in song, yet I was disappointed.
Jesus's genitals: NOT PRESENT. I was astonished to see that he was not completely naked during crucifixion. I don't know what the MPAA was thinking. They showed him being beaten, whipped, stabbed, flogged, spiked and pierced, yet the didn't remove his loincloth prior to crucifixion!
Roman soldiers: The romans weren't known for tickling their prisoners to death, but they were known as a well trained and disciplined army. Every Roman except for Pilate and his wife Claudia (who were made out to be completely innocent and guilt ridden) were made out to be insubordinate drunken lunatics.
Anyways.. I had to see this movie. I was raised Catholic and educated in Catholic schools. My girlfriend is Anglican and we're both interested in all aspects of religion. I was curious to see how a modern interpretation of religious events would be carried visually. We were both let down in a big way. "Passion of The Christ" is only the story of a man bleeding to death. Nothing is explored, nothing is developed, nothing is explained, no message is present in the story.
Home Movies (1999)
Fantastic Show
This show is hilarious. The characters are great. The stories are original and funny as heck. The animation isn't squiggly, I don't know why people think it's like that; it's more of a nice rounded look.
People who enjoy more traditional American sitcoms (you know, where men and women act/think differently with hilarious consequences and there's a wacky next door neighbor) will hate this show. Which makes me like it more.
And anyone who ever obsessed over a hobby when they were a kid will totally relate to Brendan's life.
So at least check out the show; if you don't, it'll be time to pay the price.
Mission Hill (1999)
Who cares about animation anyways?
I don't know what cartoons people are watching that have such "GREAT" animation. Mission Hill had rather average animation, at least on par with other adult-aimed comedy toons (Simpsons, Family Guy, Undergrads, Home Movies).
I thought the stories were funny, the characters were both believable and hilarious (who doesn't know a Jim), and the overall tone was laid back and fun. People who enjoy traditional American sitcoms (Friends, Frasier, Seinfeld, Home Improvements) will hate this show, mainly because a wacky thing doesn't happen every 15 seconds. And there's no helpful laughtrack.
Overall, I'd give it an 8/10 and I wish there had been more episodes. RIP, Mission Hill.
American Pop (1981)
Good. Especially if you're a music geek, like me.
I love the animation style used in this movie. The interlacing of real footage and photos from earlier times brings a level of realism not seen in many animated films. The characters move realistically as well; minute body language is portrayed well. Voice overs are great. Of course it's not "Disney quality", but it's got a grittiness to it that truly makes it original.
Now I can see how one could criticize this movie. Basically, it all depends on how you watch it. If you watch it as a drama, you'll be disappointed. The plot is very centered around the one tragic late hippieish character, and is pretty simple and predictable. But there's a certain amount of charm within the overall story, kind of a sad, but beautiful shine.
If you watch it more as a musical, the movie works fine. The songs chosen are fantastic, and they totally underline the feel of the scenes in which they are used. In one of the first scenes, taking place in Czar-era Russia, there is no dialogue, only subtitles (giving it a great historical feel). The soundtrack is a sad and stirring Russian song sung acappella. You really get a sense of what the characters were going through.
This style continues throughout the movie. One of the most emotional scenes, for me, takes place in a cornfield, with the character torn apart with what he's done with his life. Janis Joplin's version of "Summertime" (an interesting choice, perhaps a hint of a throwback to earlier eras, as it is a Gershwin tune) as haunting as ever plays as the character cries. Messed up. But well done.
Jimi Hendrix has a cameo. A pseudo-Joplin/Slick character has a major role. A Sex Pistols parody jams it out. Late 70s corporate goons are running the studio. Great fun.
And that's how you have to enjoy the movie; and that's probably why music geeks will love it more than anyone else.
Hellraiser: Inferno (2000)
Hellraiser V: The Sequal that didn't Steal.
The acting wasn't great, but compared to the other Hellraiser movies, it was oscar worthy.
I love this movie.
The plot was solid, with twists and turns that were nicely reigned in at the end; something none of the other movies did. The effects were great; the gore wasn't over the top, nor was it reduced to CGI crap (CGI and horror don't mix). The cinematography and visual sequences were stunning.
All the other sequals were about killing Pinhead. And then he kept coming back, apparently because he just went back to hell. I never found that very interesting, or 'realistic'. In fact, I thought it a failure even in the original film, that Kirsty, this young, naive, average character managed to defeat a legion of demons who were supposed experts at what they did.
This movie is much more than a simple Good vs Evil movie. It's more of a mortal evil vs. immortal evil movie. It shifts the premise, making it not one of defeating a devil, but of overcoming the evil within. It's about teaching a sleazebag a lesson, it's not about creating sympathy for innocent victims of mistaken damnation.
*spoiler ahead* Pinhead played a subtle role in this movie. This was hailed as a failure by many people, but it's true to his character. Pinhead, masquarading (sp?) as the police shrink, prods the main character through a long torturous punishment for his misdeeds. Although Pinhead doesn't make a real appearance until the end, his influence is exerted throughout the movie; destroying the character piece by piece.
This is what Pinhead is all about. Not sticking hooks into people, although that is cool. No, it's about being a puppet master in a theatre of hell. He's not going "BOO" to scare you, he's trying to mess with your head by making you think everyone else is in on "it."
And that's the meaning of the title. When you think Inferno, you think of an all-encompassing fire. The main characters world was an all-encompassing hell.
*spoiler over*
Anyways, my ranking for the hellraiser movies is as follows. I haven't seen the latest installment.
1. Hellraiser I - Gritty, gutsy (literally), insane, dramatic. Gotta love it.
2. Hellraiser V: Inferno - The only sequal to bring something new to the series.
3. Hellraiser II: Hellbound - Pretty interesting rendition of hell. Story was full of holes and unresolved plot lines though. The crazy doctor and his self-mutilating patient was one of the most horrifying scenes I've ever seen.
4. Hellraiser IV: Bloodline - Ok, had a semi-interesting story until it went to space.
5. Hellraiser III: Crap - Absolute crap. What the hell was wrong with this movie. It hurt to watch.
Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)
Worst of the Series that I've seen
I haven't seen the latest one, "Hellseeker" I believe it's called, but this is by far the worst out of the first five I've seen. So far my ranking goes something like this:
1. Hellraiser - Gotta love the grittiness and gore and insanity.
2. Hellraiser V: Inferno - The only sequal to bring something new to the series.
3. Hellraiser II: Hellbound - Not bad, an interesting recreation of hell, but the story was extremely scattered. Good visual effects.
4. Hellraiser IV: Bloodline - Alright until they ended up in space. What's with horror movie sequals that end up in space?
5. Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth - Lets get to it.
Lame story. Cheap CGI visuals. Lackluster characters. Spineless villains. What was with the CD throwing cenobyte... I mean.. come on.
The only good part was the multiple-hook-ripping scene in the beginning of the movie. The plot was nonsensical. The characters were totally one dimensional and unbelieveable, and there seemed to be some failed attempt at retuning the villains. The acting wasn't even up to hellraiser standards.
Anyways, not really worth watching if you ask me. Maybe for the gore, because that's the only remotely interesting thing about this movie.