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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
Early nineties movie is typical early nineties movie
This movie fulfills the bingo card of a eighties and early nineties movie from beginning to end:
- movie starts with a general view of the city;
- violent city with gangs on the streets;
- the story starts with a violent attack and someone is saved;
- graffiti everywhere;
- misguided youth;
- a youngster redeems himself;
- puppets;
- a villain with a vendetta;
- obvious product placement;
- dark scenes;
- unconvincing fight scenes;
- woman with a perm;
- man with a mullet;
- & the most eighties feature of them all: villain falls to his (probable) death through his own actions.
That said, it's a movie you can enjoy as long as you turn off you brain and ignore all its defects, which I won't tell exhaustively. It's enough to say that nothing is more dull in this movie than the the edges of the swords. The turtles, however, are convincing and very nimble. Jim Henson's Creature Shop made an excellent work. The choreography of the fights is good enough, although sometimes it's obscured with cuts, darkness, or smoke. The story of how master Splinter learned ninjutsu while he was a pet rat didn't seem very convincing for me, but one can't expect truthfulness once you see a giant rat speaking.
It's a good movie if one wants to remember or experience the feel of the eighties.
Nahuel y el Libro Mágico (2020)
Good story, but bad dialogue ruins it
The story is very interesting, albeit too much cliché. It deals with some forms of magic and people who perform them.
However, the villain completely plain and lacks any motivation besides power and ruling the world. The hero being too naive was a thing I didn't like but it's tolerable.
Now comes the defect that bothered me the most: the dialogues and speeches. "Nahuel!" is the most repeated sentence throughout the movie. After the tenth or fifteenth occurrence, it started to become insufferable. Then, in the middle of the movie, comes one of the worst pieces of info dump in one of the worst ways possible, when Fresia tells a man turned into a dog by a curse his own story.
All said, a good idea with a failed execution: plain characters with cliché motivations and horrible speeches.
Mortal Engines (2018)
Good visuals, but wrong in so many ways
This movie's plot is wrong in so many ways that I know well where to begin: in the beginning.
Soon after London captures that city, a high authority goes there to welcome the captured city's citizens, without any protection, as if no one expected people whose homes were destructed had a strong grunge against the people who destroyed them. And then, while Hester goes on to stab Valentine, nobody takes notice of Tom yelling danger. Also, nobody attempts to stop Hester, after she stabbed a man. And this man, having being stabbed, goes on pursuit of the stabber, instead of seeking medical care. When Tom tells Valentine that Hester accuses him of killing her mother, he pushes him to that waste chute, instead of just dismissing such an accusation.
One must conclude that absorbing another city is something that does not happen frequently, as it is shown only once in the movie. Also, integrating the populations of too many devoured cities would eventually lead to overpopulation.
Valentine goes to some sort of prison where a zombie/cyborg called Strike is held. He is allowed to talk to the prisoner, but to release him, he has to shoot missiles and destroy the prison, for some unspecified reason.
No explanation is given about how news travel in this world, but Anna Fang is able to locate Hester just as she is being auctioned. Thankfully, Fang is able to fight the many men in the scene while not being shot, which is not unreasonable, just a cliché.
When Hester boards Fang's aircraft, Fang intends to leave Tom behind, but for some reason leaves the door open till he boards. In the craft, Hester tells her story with Strike, and how he abandoned him on knowing (by some unspecified means) that London was in the continent. Tom says he wanted to be a pilot, without telling anything about taking flight lessons or something to that effect, yet Fang lets him land it in Airhaven.
There, in Airhaven, when Strike is about to crush Tom, he decides not to, suspecting that Hester loves him, but after that, he seems to be dead, perhaps from the wounds he had received, wounds that seemed to have no effect on him till then.
After two blasts, MEDUSA becomes unstable, which would explain its exploding in the end. What does not make sense is that the self-destruction protocols would work, unless they where built in this new MEDUSA, which is dumb, because some components must have being put in place for an intended breakdown.
There may be more things that make little sense in the plot but this review deals only with the ones that make the movie less enjoyable. Those may not be strictly plot holes, but are loose ends nonetheless.
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953)
Lovely advertisement for De Beers
However good this movie may be, it poses a clear case of not-so-subtle product placement. There's a lot of talk about diamonds and diamond jewelry, and the main song is appropriately about how diamonds are a woman's "best friend". That song goes even to the length of telling the name of the main store chains selling De Beers staple, and if you can't get their names at first time, no worries, that part of the song will be sung again.
Batman & Robin (1997)
Best Batman ever!
This is the best Batman ever. The story looks like it comes directly from a comic book. The introduction of Batgirl to the team is a nod to the Silver Age comic book era. The photography resembles comic books also, with the colors you'd expect from a comic book. The dialogue and action are not very serious, this movie does not take itself so serious, it's fun and a little cheesy, as if Schumacher had taken inspiration from 1960s Batman and Robin.
Indeed, Batman & Robin tries to make homage to 1960s era Batman live action series, and cartoon, while not undoing what Tim Burton had made in 1989's Batman. That's the best possible combination of both stiles of Batmen, the Burton's claustrophobia nightmare, and the colorful cheesiness of 1960s comic books.
Team Thor (2016)
Worth seeing because it's short
This is just a comedy explaining why Thor does not appear in Captain America: Civil War. Just for some laughs, Thor is interviewed alongside the random Australian office worker he's moved with. The little jokes about the differences between our culture and that of a Norse god is worth seeing, provided you know something about Norse mythology, or Marvel's Thor, which is loosely based on the former.
Worth the whole 3½ minutes it take to watch. Especially considering that you can watch it for free on Youtube! It's good to watch some comedic antics from someone who don't fall on the mistake of taking them too seriously.