Roger_knows_what_kicks_ass Reviews

The Humanoid (1979)

The Italians made some fine movies

[10 August 2004]

THE HUMANOID is one of the most entertaining movies ever made. Aldo Lado has supplied me with some of the most bizarre and twisted images you could never imagine. You know you're in for a treat when the main character is named Golob, played by a bearded Richard Kiel and he's got a robot-dog in his crappy spaceship. You somehow can't go wrong from there on.

The Tom Tom character is also doing his to make THE HUMANOID one of the ultimate Italian science fiction epics, beware his excellent wisdom. Barbara Bach and the gigantic Kiel was quite the team in the Seventies, and as always she's looking hot in this; "The story of Golob turning Unfriendly and Unstoppable". I love Golob and his dog, I wish to see more of them. Why weren't there any sequels?

Ahhh! The glory of Italian Cinema of the Seventies and Eighties continues. These directors and screenwriters seemed to have no limits in ripping off the Hollywood big-seller. There's still plenty of somewhat obscure masterpieces to be discovered, I'm glad I found this one.

The Fantastic Four (1994)

Classic superheroes come to life (MINOR SPOILERS)

[2 December 2003]

In some respects I totally understand all you guys out there hating this movie. But I also understand that the same people clearly aren't fans of the Italian fantasy- filmmaker Luigi Cozzi (who's work include the spectacular STARCRASH and the unbelievable HERCULES, starring Lou Ferrigno). Cozzi's productions are fun-filled (not always intentionally), crazed (using "actor" David Hasselhoff and Marjoe Gortner as "Acton" in the same movie), berserk (how about a Robot talking with a Texan accent), insane (Hercules throwing a bear, and later himself, into outer space) etc, etc. Classic scenes... The point I'm trying to make is: Luigi Cozzi and Oley Sassone seems to have the same moral (and technical) standards in making movies.

The story is well known and loved - scientist Reed Richards makes a trip to outer space with his best friend, the woman he loves and her fiery- tempered brother. They return from space with extreme powers - Reed, now known as Mr Fantastic, can stretch his body like a rubber band. Ben Grimm turns into the Thing, a powerful creature with Ben's warm personality. Sue Storm becomes the Invisible woman and her brother Johnny has now transformed into the Human Torch. They must fight Doctor Doom, ruler of Latveria, and (unfortunately) a stupid sub-humanoid leprechaun freak called the Jeweller.

What does not work in the movie? The special effects are not great, that's for sure. And there are not enough of them. Johnny does hardly at all truly become the Torch, and Sue turning invisible resembles effects used in the Silent Movie era. Reed stretching his limbs are sights never before (or after) viewed by mortal eyes, it's... let's say... not 100% convincing. And howcome the Jeweller is used as a Villain? He could easily be made into the Mole Man, who's the oldest foe to the Fantastic Four. The Jewller makes me mad, he almost turns this movie into a morbid, sour pile of crap. This along with the actor who portays Johnny Storm. He's too excited and looks goofy.

There are, however, more to praise than hate in Sassone's FF. The Reed/Victor von Doom relationship, Ben/Alicia likewise, the costumes, the look of The Thing (and the fact that he says "it's clobberin' time!"), the Baxter Building, the space explotions, the Torch flaming on, the look of Dr Doom and his throneroom... IT'S ALL GREAT, AWESOME AND JUST LIKE IN THE COMICS!! HOW COULD ANYONE DENY THIS FACT????

Forget the Jewellers crummy person and Johnny Storms irritating over-acting. This movie is entertaining as hell. Enjoy it along with GENERATION X, CAPTAIN AMERICA and THE INCREDIBLE HULK tv-show.... Off course it's nothing like Raimi's SPIDER MAN or Singer's X-MEN, but still worth watching. Oley Sassone can be seen as an heir to the throne of Luigi Cozzi, the most psychedellic Italian filmmaker ever (which says a lot).

Were it up to me Sassone could make a series of 10 FF movies - using villains as GALACTUS, ANNIHILIUS, THE MAD THINKER, DIABLO, THE SKRULLS, THE PUPPET MASTER, DRAGON MAN, BLASTAAR and THE HATE MONGER.

If the Hollywood big budget version of the FF gets half as true to the comicbook as this one I'll actually be quite happy about it.