kittenkongshow Reviews

Hurst: The First and Only (2022)

Would like to have seen more of his Career.

[5/10 · 12 May 2023]

The title now is of course wrong after 2022's final but that's nitpicking.

The film is mostly centered around the 1966 final - A subject that's been used so many times but Geoff Hurst's career was so much more there is very little footage of any other match that he played in.

There is also a lot of talking heads who honestly add little and wouldn't be missed.

When the story focus on the man it is at it's best like his daughter's passing or having to sign on even then the old school British 'We don't talk about things' is on display. He seems a man of few words.

If your interested in Football you'll enjoy it but don't expect a deep dig into the man & his career.

Climb Up the Wall (1960)

Rubbish timefiller

[2/10 · 7 May 2023]

A mix of New footage and chucked together clips (The Goons from Down Among The Z Men, Elvis from Newsreel) with a terrible script and flat direction from Michael Winner. It's held together by Jack Jackson whom I personally never heard of and with his jokes I think I'm glad.

The reviewer that says the Frankie & Johnny by George 'Calypso' Brown is the only saving grace is right. Though the surprise inclusion is of a brief set of topless women!

Sadly the review wants 600 Characters of me so I'm doing what the makers did...filling the space with acres of rubbish till my running time runs out, Now.

Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983)

I want to see Smokey IS The Bandit.

[3/10 · 25 July 2022]

Somewhere in a vault is the original cut of this and I'd love to see it.

The released film is very obviously a re-edited mess.

Jerry Reed was brought in to remake the Gleason as bandit scenes, Sadly at no point does he seem to be the Snowman of the first 2 movies

The plot is really just scenes sown together to fill the run time, massive gaps of logic and story.

Simply a poor film but what was the 1st cut like...Sadly we'll never know.

The Master Demon (1991)

Stick with it...

[3/10 · 19 July 2022]

I nearly knocked it on the head after the first 15m. Then I read the reviews and kept it on...

Bad acting, Effects, dialogue, fights...and face ripping (For no reason).

It has to be a spoof!

How to Undress in Public Without Undue Embarrassment (1965)

Rare oddity...thank you Renown Pictures.

[4/10 · 16 June 2021]

Renown pictures new set - The Slightly Saucy Box Set - Unleashes this rarity on the world.

Featuring Cary On players Jon Pertwee, Fenella Fielding (Narration) and a very brief cameo from Kenneth Connor this film also features several striptease's (Topless Only...it is 1965).

It's more a curio than a lost gem but as I'm a big fan of British Sexplotation it's a discovery for me.

Others On Set - David Jason in White Cargo, Joanna Lumley in Games That Lovers Play, Not Tonight Darling, Sunshine Sweethearts & Miss Bikini.

Renown are also the wonderful people behind Talking Pictures TV the best channel on TV!

33 1/3 Revolutions Per Monkee (1969 TV Movie)

Flawed but interesting special.

[7/10 · 21 February 2020]

I Love the original series and the feature film Head remains one of the greatest cinematic delights to me.

But this TV special...is as I say flawed...

The show seems shot on tape and the many effects look horrible at times.

Plot wise it is similar to Head - Take the Monkees image and rip it up.

Sadly it gets rather heavy handed and certainly not a good move (the 3 specials originally planned ended here) while the music is actually rather good (Not commercially released due to lost tapes) things like 'Wind Up Man' are actually insulting to the people who loved the group...

One thing quickly here - who remembers Brian Auger and the Trinity compared to the pre-fab 4.

So summing up, it depends on your thoughts on the Monkees, It's not always the best watch (The dance routine has aged badly) and you may feel they are biting the hand that fed them too hard (drawing blood) but there's enough here to make it interesting but not essential.

Night of the Living Dead: 30th Anniversary Edition (1999 Video)

Why?

[2/10 · 9 February 2020]

Ok, so the original fell into the public domain due to a lack of copyright so for some of the makers this may be the best way to finally earn from the film but for everyone else there is really no reason to bother with this.

The new footage doesn't really fit or really add anything, The music is dull.

Only watch if your a completest, The original is hugely important in the history of Horror cinema and being PD you can see it free all over the web and you should...but this version can be forgotten.

The Ken Dodd Laughter Show (1979– )

Sadly earliest Doddy on DVD.

[7/10 · 10 January 2020]

This 1979 series is the earliest available series of the greatest stand up - best seen by the Network DVD which adds the 1990 Christmas special.

A mix of stand up, sketch and song (The Games people play segment in episode 3 wanders off down some odd tangents) is at times padded out but remains a great view of a lost era of variety.

In my view Ken was the greatest comedian ever, I saw him live twice and left in pain from laughing so much, the world is a lesser place without him.

Just go and get any of the DVD's and marvel at a true legend.

Thank you Ken.

What's Up Nurse! (1977)

Great cast wasted...

[4/10 · 4 January 2020]

...in some cases the bigger names get 1 scene!

Sadly the jokes are mostly weak, for a British Sex Comedy the nudity is sparce...a scene in a 'nudist camp' (Where the men wear shorts) is taked on to seemingly up the nudity.

Nicholas Field is a bland lead, Felicity Devonshire is bubbly and pleasing on the eye in one of her last appearances.

Graham Stark was also executive producer (Which he regretted) which may explain the quality of the guest stars which includes a oddly bad performance from John Le Mesurier who just seems utterly pissed off for the whole film, Kate Williams is wasted as Matron. Actually you could say that for most of the cast as I said earlier, if they spent more than a few hour on set I'd be shocked!

I Love this type of film so am glad to have it but it's a poor example.

Read Simon Sheridan's classic book 'Keeping The British End Up' for a full view of this era

Yessongs (1975)

Flawed but prog gold.

[6/10 · 12 December 2019]

At 72m it's too short but in these days if a concert was filmed it was for cinema release of via a TV company. This is the former.

largely shot in close up and with no stageshow to speak of this lives on the performances - The current DVD (Odeon) has it in 5.1 but as I don't have that I flicked between original and 5.1 - both sound the same to me which takes away from the overall impact.

It's Yes at their finest - and how you read that will colour your view of the film - They are one of those bands you either get or don't.

The DVD has several extras which add value but if your a prog fan you need this in your collection - If not avoid.

Monique (1970)

Prefer the Wife!

[4/10 · 5 December 2019]

Ok, I'm tempting comment with the title...but Joan Alcorn is better looking then Sybilla Kay to me.

Released on DVD in the slap & tickle series by Screenbound you'd be forgiven for expecting a 70's sex comedy - which while it has amusing moments it isn't.

At best it's a of it's time pot-boiler of a suburban couple finding sexual satisfaction with the 'help' of an au-pair.

At worst it's bloody dull.

Troll 2 (1990)

Only 15m in...

[2/10 · 16 October 2019]

Ok...I didn't know this was credited as a the worst film ever when I got it on a double bill with the first film (Which was poor but watchable) As I type I'm just over 15 m in and what can I say...

Awful acting and dialogue, direction fits the acting...

And as I type this the freeze wobble/piss on table scene has just played...

Will I last the full film...

Doubt I'll be arsed to report if I do.

Some Like It Sexy (1969)

Come Back Alfie...sorry Peter.

[3/10 · 22 September 2019]

Alfie with more sex was the selling point...but not enough sex as after it's first release it had extra scenes cut in. Badly. Very Badly.

The Nucleus DVD contains the longest cut seen in the UK.

Christopher Matthews is bland as Peter slipping from conquest to conquest without a hint of plot (The end does give this an explanation but no spoilers).

The most notable things are Mary & Madeleine Collinson in an Lesbian scene - yes, they ARE sisters...Incest - a game for the family.

The added scenes don't fit as the hairy arse is so obviously not Matthews and how they got away with the semi aroused penis (I presume it wasn't in any UK cut till now) - The twins extra scenes take it from mildly dodgy to full on oh dear.

Unless like me your interested in the British Sexplotation era it's a hard watch.

Creature (1985)

Maybe the cheap...

[3/10 · 9 September 2019]

...DVD stuffs this Alien rip off - the version I saw was on the 21st century label and was a dark pan and scam sub vhs quality print which I'm not sure but may have been cut as there are a couple of dodgy edits.

I wonder if a proper ratio print would have made this better, can't make it any worse.

Naked As Nature Intended (1961)

It's value has changed.

[5/10 · 5 September 2019]

From it's original purpose (getting tits on the big screen) this film now stands as a view of a bygone England - Seasides, Stonehenge and so on.

The nudity is left for the last few minutes and is wonderfully innocent.

Nearly 60 years have passed and we live in a much harder world - I'll leave you to decide if we were better off then or now.

The Party (1968)

Num num

[4/10 · 28 August 2019]

Hrundi V Bakshi is accidentally invited to a Hollywood party...

Peter Sellers and Blake Edwards both had a problem - The taking of an idea past the point and this is the ultimate example.

While some may rightly say that having a white actor brown up is out of date, Sellers makes him the most real person in a collection of Hollywood fakes.

The waiter is an example of stretching a joke to breaking point and beyond.

If it was a 30m film it'd be better imho by halfway I was losing interest.

Me Me Lai Bites Back (2018 Video)

Just wish it'd been more.

[6/10 · 21 August 2019]

By more I mean I wish it had covered all her Career with clips .

But what we have is still a very enjoyable run through Me Me's Cannibal roles (It's an extra on the Man From Deep River DVD) One lovely thing is her surprise on how much she's remembered and thought of - My favorite story though is the video confiscation one from her Police days...I won't spoil it.

Me Me is still a stunning woman and comes across as a genuine and nice Lady, As I'll probably never meet her this is the closest place I can Thank her (not that she'll see it!) for her work.

Nudes of All Nations (1962)

A view from an innocent age.

[4/10 · 19 August 2019]

Thanks in a large way to Simon Sheridan this Nudie is out on DVD (With Take your clothes off and live).

As these films mostly go it's just an excuse to get tit's on the big screen in an era that while not that long ago was far more innocent.

To get away with it it the makers had to make the film about as sexy as a rotting fish and if your looking for full nudity pass this by, The plot with the international beauty queens (Mostly from England...Though apparently Miss England was Spanish) forming their own Naturist camp is at least an attempt.

The thing that now worries me is the amount of Child nudity seen - it's non sexual of course but still feels wrong.

Valerie Singleton narrates the film but isn't in it...would have been a new take on blue peter.

Punk in London (1977)

Priceless for the view of the era.

[6/10 · 16 August 2019]

Ok, you may ask why call it priceless than give it a 6 rating - simple as a music film it's only worth that - the various interviews are more important.

The footage for example of the Lurkers is less interesting than the interview with Arturo Bassick (The Bass player) who's seen at home with his parents with Top of the Pops on a portable TV in the background.

The country has changed a lot over the over 40 years - good or bad is up to you - I was 6 in 1977 so I'm glad that films like this exist to show what it was like.

One band to single out is The Killjoys - Who in the lifespan released 1 single but Featured Kevin (Dexy's) Rowland & Gil Weston who later joined Girlschool...One of the few times those bands will share a sentence!

And while I enjoy there music in bits I've always thought The Clash are overrated.

THE PAST IS A FOREIGN COUNTRY: THEY DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY THERE. - L. P. Hartley

Alf 'n' Family (1968)

Above average TV Spin Off.

[6/10 · 14 August 2019]

The Seventies would see the boom of the sitcom spin off film a very mixed bag but for my generation the first examples of many series' we'd see.

Alf Garnett remains a classic TV character much misunderstood but you can find commentators who can write more eloquently then myself on that.

The film is an interesting mix of Alf in wartime and in the sixties (including the 1966 World cup final) - It's a well made lovingly shot film (the exact opposite of the 2nd film - the truly awful 'The Alf Garnett Saga).

Times have changed and thankfully so - The trailer for the film even uses the racist language Alf spewed - But this film gives an excellent view of the changing times in both eras.

Cast wise all of the main TV cast are here and are as good as ever - One problem for Alf is that Warren Mitchell was such a good actor and managed to make us like the old sod!

A time capsule and well worth seeking out (Network DVD have released the ultimate version).

Utopia (1950)

Actually better than some of the 1940's films.

[5/10 · 31 July 2019]

Sadly the last film of the greatest duo ever put on celluloid.

Saying that once you get past the fact that Stan was very ill during the filming and Ollie is seriously overweight the film is actually more 'Laurel & Hardy' than some of the 1940's movies.

Being Public domain it's availible in many different quality prints - The BFI Blu ray/DVD being the best.

If you can look past the above and just try to just watch it it's poor but passable.

I wish the boys had ended on a better film but that's life.

100 years since the first film they made together (The Lucky Dog) they are loved by millions around the world...why? because great comedy is great comedy be it old or new and they were the best.

Firestarter (1984)

Could have been...

[3/10 · 19 July 2019]

...a lot better than it ended up.

I've never read the Stephen King story so can't judge on the adaptation.

Until they get captured it's not a bad film but afterwards it just fizzles out the final revenge section is marred by it's length and the mixed quality of the effects, Maybe a tighter script and direction would have pulled this up a level.

The brightest thing in the film is Drew Barrymore - 9 years old and out acting the rest of the cast.

Forgettable is the word I'll choose for this.

Ferrari: Race to Immortality (2017)

A different world,

[7/10 · 26 June 2019]

Modern F1 is often dull, safe thankfully but dull all the same.

This documentary shows the sport at it's most dangerous - The inevitability of death fills every frame, the interviews are used in a way that you know that the next scene will be someone passing - sometimes if the footage exists It's used, the cold eye of the camera staring at another corpse.

It's a view into a world not that far past but thankfully now long gone.

If you like Formula 1 watch this.

Bleeding Steel (2017)

It's Jackie!

[7/10 · 4 May 2019]

It seems a lot of critics here have a problem with an over 60 yrar old Jackie still doing stunts/action.

Calm down - He's Jackie Chan and at this point in his life I'm sure if he didn't want to anymore he'd retire.

Also he's done a lot worse than this - The Tuxedo comes to mind.

I wasn't expecting much after seeing the reviews here but really enjoyed it.

It's no Police Story/Project A but they are a product of a different time, I'm just glad Jackie is still making films,

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

Dumbing down

[4/10 · 20 April 2019]

In the 25 years since the original classic cinema has truly dumbed down. Jurassic Park holds together well even the early use of CGI (It's in my opinion still better than a lot of the CGI in this!).

Sadly the script is poor trying for scale over substance there are so many frankly dumb moments that happen because they happen logic be damned that you end up with the cinematic equivalent of bashing your head against a brick wall.