jonmurdock Reviews

Midway (2019)

If you like war movies

[10/10 · 12 July 2020]

...and in particular World War Two movies that take place in the Pacific, you will give Midway 10 points. Its like a classic 60s or 70s war movie with 2020 standards. People giving this film a low rating probably do not comprehend what they are watching. Where are the zombies? The guts? The boobs? Nah, this is a CLASSIC war movie. Fantastic watch, and you will not leave your seat.

Ad Astra (2019)

Similar to watching paint dry

[3/10 · 1 July 2020]

Was everyone on downers when they made this thing? I lasted about a third into the thing, and that time was generally spent thinking about other things I could be doing instead. Space monkeys don't need no spacesuits. Adios.

Lost (2004–2010)

Solid 4 seasons

[8/10 · 1 July 2020]

I thought this show was great for 4 seasons, some strange events took place but nothing over the top. So season 5 begins, and questions have to begin to be answered. Loose ends have to be tied up. By the time I was in the middle of season 6, I was hoping the thing would end as soon as possible. Season six is like a totally different show. A stupid one at that. Seasons 5 & 6 bring down my score to 8.

Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile (2019)

A pretty picture of a murderous sociopathic necrophile rapist

[6/10 · 5 May 2019]

I followed the Bundy case as it was unfolding, and while I am no Ted Bundy expert - I did read Ann Rule's book and quite a bit of documentation. I watched the trial, a couple movies about him, read online sites such as Murderpedia.

Obviously a sociopath, Bundy could charm - and that is what Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile (kind of a stupid title) focuses on. It does so to the extent that the viewer unfamiliar with the case is left wondering if this man could actually commit such horrendous acts because Ted's such a great guy.

The best things about this movie is that Zac Efron actually resembles the real killer, and John Malkovich as judge Cowart. Not that he's actually playing judge Cowart, he's playing John Malkovich playing a judge, and it's gold. The worst things are that everyone in the film appear as though they would in say... 2018, and the film fails to accurately demonstrate how much of a monster Ted Bundy actually was.

Two films that are far better than "Extremely Wicked" are "The Stranger Beside Me" (2003) and "Bundy" (2002). "Bundy", starring Michael Reilly Burke might be the best of the bunch.

While I could (and have) watched "The Stranger Beside Me" and "Bundy" more than once, once might be enough for "Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile". 6/10.

The People vs. Larry Flynt (1996)

Courtney Love isn't acting.

[5/10 · 14 April 2019]

Decent movie, Woody Harrelson makes it watchable. Courtney Love plays Althea Flynt, who died before having a chance to see Love portray Love, at her skankiest. If Althea was anywhere near as skanky as Courtney Love, I think Flynt would have stayed away. Courtney isn't acting, this is just how she is. Yuk.

Trust (2018)

BINGE-WORTHY, Great Acting

[8/10 · 26 February 2019]

Every episode reminds you that the dialogue is well, pretty much fact - but I have a hard time not believing the show took extreme liberties with the facts. That said, I definitely enjoyed the series very much. It's one of those, "OK just one more...OK just one more then I'm going to bed. OK just one more..." things that keeps you up too late. Donald Sutherland is GREAT as J. Paul Getty and even resembles the original JPG. I'm going to give Donald a .362 score as related in baseball batting averages for the entire season. The next heavy hitter is Brendan Fraser as the likable Fletcher Chace, with a BA of .340 and a lot of dingers. Luca Marinelli as Primo is a SOLID 3rd baseman with a strong arm hitting .309 with zeero errors. Fine actor. Silas Carson as the butler is impeccable, a .325 hitter and an errorless season. Harris Dickinenson as JPG III was a touted first round pick but ended up hitting .234 with too many strikeouts. Much of the show takes place in Italy, where they speak Italian - so I read what they were saying. I'd say the whole Italian cast did a fantastic job, most outstanding - Primo - see above. Beautifully filmed, most scenes take place at The Mansion or in Italy. Watch it, you will like.

I Am a Killer (2018–2022)

Slow but interesting

[7/10 · 20 August 2018]

If the sad piano music is intended to make me feel sad for everyone involved, it's not working. The only thing these murderers regret is getting caught. It's a good documentary, worth watching. What would have made it a fantastic 10 star show would be watching each and every one of these sadistic killers swing at the end of each episode.

Black Sails (2014–2017)

TOTALLY BINGE-WORTHY

[8/10 · 22 July 2018]

This is a binge-righteous series. I for one appreciate intrigue, violence, swearing, and nudity in a series to make it somewhat believable for me to watch. This review is for the entire four seasons. After a couple episodes, the players fall into place. I feel good acting good scenery, good sound and now comes the PLOT. It takes a few episodes to get into it. Once you are hooked, there is no turning back. FABULOUS STUFF. But then later in the series you wonder how this guy can turn from a wimp to a hard-guy after a season. Or this joker turned into a legend after an episode. Or this nice guy turns into an acehole after an episode. It's too fast like that. But, it's great and I loved every minute of it up until the last episode where what you might imagine, happens. It's like: OK We Gotta Wrap This Up. TOTALLY BINGE-WORTHY. 8 POINTS

Arrival (II) (2016)

A Real Snooze-Fest

[5/10 · 24 October 2017]

I love Sci-Fi, but ARRIVAL was a huge disappointment. Oh, the acting is fine, effects OK, and the story is believable enough. It's not a Creatures From Outer Space Attack movie by any means, just a VERY subtle and even boring movie that rapidly becomes predictable. At the halfway mark in the film you stop hoping something actually happens and start hoping the thing ends. If you made it through the entire movie, you instantly realize it's a film you'll never want to watch again. That the thing was nominated for Best Picture is proof that drug usage is rampant in Hollywood. BLAH. 5/10.

David Gilmour: Live At Pompeii (2017)

Over 70 and Still Screaming

[9/10 · 20 September 2017]

David Gilmour makes it scream whether it's a Gibson with a whammy, a strat, or a beat up telecaster. This guy can WAIL at 70+ years of age, and not only that, sing. It would be a great show for any Pink Floyd fan in any conventional setting, but the fact that this is recorded at Pompeii is maximus head-rushis. The song that REALLY jumped out during the opening numbers was The Great Gig in the Sky, where singer Lucita Jules was truly amazing to watch and hear. Her mouth is so large she looks like a human Pez Dispenser, but the sound coming out of that mouth is something to behold. Her companion, Louise Clare Marshall, also has a great singing voice - although your attention may be focused on her large booty during the entire show. If you have attended many rock concerts, this is pretty much how this one works as do the rest: some questionable stuff with interjections of great stuff building up to the greatest stuff and a mind-boggling light show. As a Pink Floyd fan, I am gonna go ahead and give this film a 9/10 score. I may re- do that score later, as my sound system is far superior than that of my local theater.

Travelers (2016–2018)

EXCELLENT on a Believable Level

[10/10 · 28 December 2016]

I am in to Sci-Fi, Horror, etc., as long as it is on a believable level - that is, I don't like vampire, mummy, and monster films. Example: Incredible Shrinking Man: By some weird thing a man can shrink and battle insects; GODZILLA: can't happen.

TRAVELERS fits me perfect!

I can believe TRAVELERS. Not only that, the script and the acting is great - the acting is pronounced when one character turns into another. BRAVO! Fantastic sound, visual, acting, believability, YOU NAME IT. GREAT! Season 1 is 10/10 in my book.

To fill out the 10 lines: The TEAM DOCTOR is beautiful and does a wonderful acting job - it will be strange if she's not well known in time. The High School student - fantastic job! The Heroin Addict: great actor, skills shown on many levels. The school counselor: LOL Great!

Under the Skin (I) (2013)

Crap, but Scarlett Johansson has a nice ass

[1/10 · 24 May 2015]

If you want to look at Scarlett Johansson's ass, watch for 45 minutes then turn it off. This is a PoS film trying to be ART. I'm sorry, but just being bonkers is not art. If you, like most people say - "what the hell am I watching, and WHY the hell am I watching" at 45 minutes - TURN IT OFF. If you are physically unable to turn it off may God have mercy on your soul.

Under The Skin is not a cheap B flick. Nicely filmed, good acting, good sound. Crap story. It's a waste of time. But if you want to see a nice butt, watch it for a while then put on a real movie.

I give it 1 point out of 100

Snowpiercer (2013)

A terribly stupid movie

[1/10 · 24 May 2015]

Man has destroyed the Earth and now the only survivors live on a train. Yes, a train. They have been living on that train for 17 years (it just a keeps on a rollin), and a class system has evolved.

First Class tickets run the train and the freeloaders are the bottom of the barrel. The freeloaders' clothing are tattered, their faces filthy. They somehow figure out how to shave. Huh? They should all have beards.

This is a dark movie. Not dark in a sinister way, just dark. As in I can't see dark. It did get a little lighter after about 35 minutes when a window was opened.

There are fights. When they fight the camera shakes.

The freeloaders eat protein gel that is made out of... bugs I think. I couldn't really make out what it was made out of. Maybe it was explained later on in the movie. I can't tell you because I could only handle 45 minutes of this crap. The First Class tickets eat steak. Maybe they have cattle on the train. Who knows? What a stupid movie.

In fact, it's a terribly stupid movie. The keepers of the train routinely do a freeloader head count. Why? Who cares? If the First Class tickets hate the freeloaders so much why don't they just kill them? They keep them alive and persecute them for unknown reasons.

There are junkies on the train. The dope looks like silly putty that they somehow manufacture on the train. Good God, how did I manage to watch 45 minutes of this crap? If you enjoy watching crappy movies for a laugh, then SNOWPIERCER may be for you. If you want to watch a good movie, definitely hop over this dog.

It's garbage.

Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS (1975)

Bob Crane's private version of Hogan's Heroes

[6/10 · 3 March 2014]

If you like big boobs and Hogan's Heroes, you have just found the mother-lode. Ilsa (Dyanne Thorne) is the busty Kommandant of a Nazi prison camp who has sex with her male prisoners - and those who fail to satisfy this curvy commander face castration. Ilse also performs various sadistic experiments upon her equally hot nude female prisoners, who are also tortured by even more hot nude Nazi broads. Dyanne Thorne does a good acting job, same for the rest of the cast. There are some special effects that don't look cheap and the uniforms look genuine.

It's almost like Bob Crane said, "Look. This is how we gotta do Hogan's Heroes. It'll be a hit!" 6/10.

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

1 point because 0 and under unavailable at IMDb

[1/10 · 2 March 2014]

Film making is supposed to be a form of art. Any deranged individual can stick a knife through a rodents throat, chop the head off a turtle, hack at a snake with a machete, chop a spider in two, and shoot a pig - and film the event. It's not art, it's perverted and had nothing to do with the "story". Anyone giving this piece of crap positive reviews ought to have their head examined. Total garbage. Take away all the actual animal killing and what you have left is a piece of crap. The acting was awful. The only performer that seemed to have some type of acting skills was a porn actor. So in a nutshell, what you have is a porn actor as your star, actual killing of animals, rape scenes, and killing. Really stupid story. Real bad. Probably the worst film I have ever seen. 0/10.

The Hurt Locker (2008)

OK war movie. Nothing more, nothing less.

[6/10 · 10 February 2014]

The Hurt Locker isn't a bad film, but it's not a great film either. Jeremy Renner does well in his roll as an adrenalin seeking hothead bomb disposal team leader, although his actions in the movie are not very believable. Once that obstacle is hurdled and understood, what we have left is a fairly watchable war film, 6/10. The story is simple: You are in Iraq and your job is to disarm bombs. That's the entire storyline. Sometimes the enemy shoots at you, and you shoot back at them. The camera is very shaky at times to give you that realistic war-like chaos feeling, but for me it just looks like a shaky camera.

The film threatens to evolve into a story when Sgt. James befriends an irritating Iraqi boy (played by Christopher Sayegh) who sells pirated DVDs on the street, and the boy subsequently ends up as a body bomb which Sgt. James defuses. We don't know who killed the kid, or why - but Sgt. James seeks justice. He ventures out into town on his own at night to kill (possibly) the people responsible. The only problem is, the idea fizzles out and nothing happens. But that doesn't make the film unpredictable.

The Hurt Locker is an OK war movie. Nothing more, nothing less.

Cube (1997)

Don't waste your time

[1/10 · 1 November 2013]

Ridiculous. Every time an actor opens his or her mouth it makes you wonder if a high school junior wrote this garbage. The opening scene was excellent, but after that it all goes to hell in a hand basket. The characters are stupid and unbelievable. The acting is horrific, and the story may have been good if there was a beginning, a middle, and an end - but all we get is the middle: people are trapped in a giant puzzle. They go through doors to get to new rooms, and most of the rooms are death traps. There is no way out. Let's start killing each other! End of story. What a piece of crap! Don't waste your time. Minus 5 points out of 10. I've seen skin flicks with better dialogue than this dog...

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

Sophomoric and predictable: SPOILERS!

[4/10 · 30 October 2013]

There are 5 things that make this film watchable:

1) The thrashing about of the first victim after he was clubbed

2) When the hitchhiker gets turned into roadkill

3) 83 minute run time

4) Grandpa trying unsuccessfully to put Sally down

...and most importantly,

5) Sally's ever present fantastic boobs

The rest is pretty sophomoric and predictable:

Hey look! There is a hitchhiker that looks crazy as a loon. Let's pick him up! A spooky old house in the middle of nowhere. Let's go inside!

All of the kids end up going to a strange old house where they get knocked off one by one. Sally may be in great shape but she can't seem to outrun an overweight chainsaw wielding inbred hillbilly/redneck psycho. Sally screams throughout the final half hour of the movie.

Jim Siedow as the cook, and Edwin Neal as the hitchhiker do well in their rolls but everyone else seem like extras that got speaking parts. 4 points out of 10. Possibly 6 points out of 10 if this was 1974.

Totally overrated film.

Sunshine (2007)

Pretty to look at but...

[4/10 · 10 June 2013]

The graphics in this film are well done and it is a pretty thing to look at all those fantastic colors. Good sound effects and the music is decent. A lot of the sound track will remind you of the ending of The Beatles "A Day in the Life".

Other than that, Sunshine is a confused mess. The story takes place in the future, and the Sun is dying. A crew (nothing futuristic about them) are sent with a mega bomb to reboot it. They come upon a another ship that failed to reboot the sun 7 years earlier. They debate on whether to divert from their own mission to check out the ship. In the end, they decide that two bombs are better than one and investigate the disabled ship. They find the crew of that ship dead and also discover quickly that the spacecraft had been sabotaged and it's payload rendered useless. Well, they make it back to their own ship (not all of them) and their supercomputer (not at all like GERTY from "Moon" or HAL 9000 from "2001: A Space Odyssey" - this supercomputer just sounds like a woman over an intercom) informs them they have an UNINVITED GUEST. This guest turns out to be a slimy naked guy from one of the crew of the other ship, and is determined to sabotage the mission.

Our heroes die one after another and it's difficult to know exactly who dies when but it doesn't matter. They are all incinerated in the end.

It is a dumb movie with bad acting that is pretty to look at, and because of that - I give it 4 points out of 10.

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)

Fantastic comedy!

[10/10 · 5 September 2011]

After reading several reviews, "I expected The Human Centipede (First Sequence)" to be a real dud. It wasn't, and I suspect many people viewing this film miss the point altogether. It's like a laughable horror film from 1939 updated to 2009 standards. Dieter Laser is wonderful as the mad scientist, and brings to mind Bela Lugosi as Dracula. The background music that is played when the camera is looking at something evil is a real knee-slapper. Ashley C. Williams and Ashlynn Yennie as the two chicks without a clue do a great job with their rolls, and they almost look into the camera and say, "You know, we are pretty SCARED!!" When the mad doctor hauls out a victim from the back of his car, it is revealed that the guy was drugged from a dart gun: the colorful dart still sticking out of his butt clear as day. Funny! When Ashley C. Williams is darted, she goes through all kinds of facial expressions before dropping to the ground. When she finally falls, the evil doctor is seen standing behind her, STILL POINTING THE GUN! Like, now there is no doubt HE did it! This is a very funny movie, and I recommend it.

Living & Dying (2007)

Entertaining - because it's SO BAD

[2/10 · 3 August 2011]

Modern day Bonnie and Clyde try to make a run for it with the loot but get into a gun battle with the police, who were either poor shots or were using blanks. Whoops, Bonnie took a round in the gut! The robbers retreat to a café, and now Bonnie was near death. Luckily, a person (now a hostage) in the café had trained as a nurse, and performed emergency surgery then and there on the floor. Bonnie of course passed out from shock, blood loss, whatever - and the young nursing school dropout proclaimed: "She's gonna be alright! She's just passed out". Bonnie makes a miraculous recovery in a matter of minutes which is good because she is going to have to battle two psychopaths who were also hostages in the café, but now want all the stolen money, and to kill and or rape all the other hostages. WHAT A STUPID STORY. Michael Madsen made a mistake by being in the film. It was decided that Madsen's character would send a female TV reporter into the café because the murderous psychopaths inside demanded it. Hey wait a second, she'll get shot! "She's too pretty to shoot" was Madsen's line that made me laugh out loud. The reporter was raped then killed...

I gave this film 2 stars because there is the possibility that there is a worse film out there somewhere. This film will make you laugh out loud, slap your forehead, and say things like "jeeze", "oh man", "WHAT??", etc., etc. If it were meant to be a comedy, I'd give this film 4 stars.

The Inglorious Bastards (1978)

An excellent time killer on a rainy Saturday afternoon.

[4/10 · 22 January 2010]

This film may be from 1978, but it looks at least 10-15 years older than that. You will see an awful lot of German soldiers hurling their weapons in the air as if they were made of plastic and jumping as high as possible while waving their arms. This means they have either been gunned down or blown up by bombs. A single stab wound, a punch or a kick to the face, or a tap to the small of the back with a barrel of a gun causes immediate death or unconsciousness to the fragile enemy Germans. Sometimes the Germans are so in shock at seeing the Americans that they just stand there, waiting to get shot or punched. It's pretty funny, really. The fire scenes are totally unrealistic and look like someone set some toys on fire. I watched the UNCUT EDITION and assume the exploding blood packs used toward the end of the movie were not seen in the original. Take away the blood packs and you got a family film.

The storyline wasn't bad except the part about the German POW who escaped (meaning he didn't like being a POW) and is again captured but sides with the Americans... and the pickpocket who had been in jail so long that his hair had grown hippie length but always had a close shave.

The acting itself was solid and very believable. Other than that, Quel maledetto treno blindato is pretty much like a cartoon. It is an excellent time killer on a rainy Saturday afternoon.

Sole Survivor (1970 TV Movie)

My story is the same

[10/10 · 17 February 2004]

...as countless others who have searched and searched for the title of this amazing movie and found it today! As with many others, I saw the film one time as a child and it's images have branded themselves to my mind. I want to thank Deejay over at alt.movies for giving me the title! I have been periodically doing Internet searches for years and came up with nothing! I didn't know when it was made or who starred in it. Thank you all who have submitted comments here, I have read them all and found them very interesting! This revelation today is actually the most bizarre experience I have had in quite some time as I (like another person here) had begun to think I had just thought the movie up and that it really did not exist. Obviously, SOLE SURVIVOR must be one of the greatest movies of all time as it has had such an impact on so many people for so many years after only one viewing!