phreakquency Reviews

Blood and Bone (2009)

I have no idea how in the world this movie is rated above 4.

[3/10 · 10 October 2012]

Pro

+ high production quality

+ Michael Jai White does know his fighting

+ Eamonn Walker looks good in a suit

Con

Where to start?

1. The 'characters' are unimaginative caricatures of the most one-dimensional clichés you could imagine. White gives the stern but quiet ex-con who is somehow (his skills are never explained) able to fight like no one you've ever seen. He of course soon acquires a fast-talking Asian sidekick. Walker is an eccentric (dislikes swearing - oooooh) and unnecessarily violent gangster with a pseudo-deep longing to leaving his class behind. White people in the film are even more stereotypical and don't even deserve a mention.

2. The sexism is unbelievable. The women, the principal love interest in particular, are purely props that serve to reflect the male 'characters' status/wishes/intentions.

3. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is surprising in this film. Everything is predictable and you've seen every aspect of this story before.

4. The gaudy set design will make you cringe. Everything is bright colours, the fight locations are somehow illuminated by really annoying disco lights (apart from being basically the same).

In short, if you watch a 20-minute-supercut of the fight scenes, you save yourself a lot of time and still get the only reason for this terrible, terrible film to exist.

I'm not even going to start with the plot holes, boring and unnecessary side plots and poorly executed visual gags.

If you, like me, expected a film on par with its (still unbelievable) 6.6 rating, you will be lucky if you can laugh.

21 (2008)

If you're gonna do CGI, do good CGI or leave it.

[5/10 · 14 August 2008]

First of all, OK film. Nothing sensational, won't watch it again but it was entertaining, mainly because of the blackjack/casino atmosphere though. Acting is adequate, Spacey is a bit one-dimensional.

But what really annoyed me were the really badly animated chip stacks that had no plot value whatsoever. You get that in the opening sequence and then once more later on. I mean if this was some low-budget production where showing chip stacks was an important plot device, you could still just film real chip stacks. It doesn't make sense.

Sort of like 'I Am Legend' where the animated characters all look the same.

If you can't afford good CGI, JUST LET IT GO and find some other way to make the point.

Rambo (2008)

Stallone top notch, no story, over-the-top violence

[3/10 · 17 March 2008]

You can really see that this is a high budget thing. Technically well made all around. Stallone is great. Good thing that they made it now though. Any older and ... Well this time around he's great and does kick some serious ass. The story can be told in four short sentences: Stallone is hired by some air-headed but otherwise good American missionaries to bring them into Burma. They are attacked and captured. Stallone is hired again to bring in a group of mercenaries that are supposed to get the missionaries out. Stallone kicks ass. End. In order to make a moral point, the situation in Burma is greatly simplified and we can all be sorry for the hapless missionaries and village dwellers as they are harassed by de-humanised killing machines. Of course we need that to enjoy Slys crusade. Ms. Benz' performance is nowhere near credible. Her character convinces Sly to take the missionaries and then her contribution to the "story" ends. The rest of the film she gets dragged along. Paul Schulzes characters "transformation" is totally ridiculous and really should have been left out. The English mercenary is a joke. Nuff said. In conclusion I would recommend this film if you like violence and Stallone and want to be entertained. If you expect anything else, like a story, credible characters, character development or an actual moral point you'll be disappointed.

K-19: The Widowmaker (2002)

Seriously underrated

[7/10 · 16 March 2008]

Come on, Liam Neeson and Harrison Ford in one movie. And it doesn't disappoint. OK, the accents are a bit corny at times but then, Russian accents can be, even in real life :)

This is a great film and the unusual setting, a Soviet sub, makes it even more interesting. It's up there with Crimson Tide and Hunt for Red October. Comparing it to the best sub movie, Das Boot though, one can see why this one is great: It shares the sense of "There might be politics at the surface (both metaphorically and physically) but when it comes down to it, we are alone down here, with the problems, the danger and the decisions".

Got an 8/10 from me mainly for the exceptional atmosphere.