Bladerunnerrr Reviews

Kings (2009)

Kings story summary SPOILERS!

[16 March 2009]

Gilboa is recovering from war. King Silas comes across a city burnt to ashes and has a vision of a new capital, Shiloh. God sends him a sign in the form of a swarm of monarch butterflies that then land on his head in the form of a crown.(MONARCH butterflies, get it?) Meanwhile, the northern enemy country, Gath invades. A country boy (David) and his brother Eli are on the front, when they get word that two Gilboan soldiers have been taken hostage. David takes on one of Gath's superior tanks called a Goliath and single handedly blows up the tank (David DEFEATS GOLIAT, GET IT?) and saves the hostages.

Turns out, one of the hostages is the drunkard playboy Prince Jack. King Silas promotes David to the capital as a military spokesman, and promises him any reward. He asks to date Princess Michelle, and the King has to keep his promise. The Kingdom of Gilboa is gaga over the new hero and the daring rescue, and the enemy Gath is demoralised and shamed, and proposes a peace treaty.

King Silas is eager to end the killing, but his evil brother in law William, who heads up the military industry Congrecion, insists the war continue since he bankrolled the building of the new capitol. The King owes him, and must keep the war going (CAN YOU SAY HALIBURTON?). So Gilboa launches a surprise offensive against Gath.

Prince Jack confronts his father when he is "promoted" to a safe post, which would hurt his chances of being a respected leader, and expresses his jealousy of the King's new favourite golden boy, David.

The King then chastises Prince Jack, his decadent lifestyle, and reveals he knows that Jack is gay, and that his chances to be King are in doubt. He is ashamed of the Prince, and wants him tucked away in a safe place where he can do no harm.

Upset by the exchange, the King sneaks out and visits his mistress. Then the bombshell is revealed that the King has a secret illegitimate child, who might also be a claimant for the throne.

David gets news of a masacre at the front, and his brother Eli is killed.

Suddenly, without persmission from the King or William the war minister, David approaches the enemy and pleads for peace. The King's hands are tied, he cannot contradict David since he is the public's hero. William is incensed, freezes funding to the government and has a secret meeting with Prince Jack, hoping to back HIM as Silas' successor, since he feels he can control Prince Jack who was more or less told by his father that he wasn't fit to be King.

David is once again hailed as a hero of the Kingdom, having secured peace with Gath. He stands in the garden, and although he thought the King's story of butterflies was allegorical, butterflies start to swarm, and form a crown up on his head...MONARCH butterflies....the King observes this from a palace window. Are his days numbered? (Will David become KING David? GET IT?)

Idiocracy (2006)

BEST social satire I've ever seen!

[10/10 · 12 February 2007]

This movie is BRILLIANT.

I don't remember this movie even BEING in theaters, so thinking it was a "straight to DVD" I have fairly low expectations, even though I am a big fan of Mike Judge. It has some of the same kind of comic future satire as "Brazil" and "Demolition Man", but taken to the next level.

Then I saw the cast; Luke Wilson, Maya Rudolph and Dax Shepard, who were all brilliant in their roles.

Needless to say, this movie won me over in the first 5 minutes, where it shows above-average people having fewer children and the poorest, stupidest, trashiest people having lots of ignorant children, and how this is leading to a kind of reverse evolution. It takes that concept, and then shows where we are headed with this pollution of the gene pool.

Sadly, I don't think it will take the 500 years as depicted, but probably only about 50. I already see the shocking rise of "mild retardation" in the general populace, media and culture. People who like classical music and art are ridiculed instead of respected. The lowest common denominator seems to rule, especially in Hollywood and on TV (eg, "Jackass the Movie" and any reality show where they make you eat something disgusting or humiliate yourself for money).

All of the political/social satire aside, this movie is also just LAUGH OUT LOUD funny! And I don't say that lightly; few movies make me actually "LOL", but this one did.

A lot of the best jokes are word/sight gags in the background, so you really have to pay attention to get some of them. I even had to pause and zoom in for a few of them (like when Joe got his government ID and for "hair" it said "yes" and for "eyes" it also said "yes"). Also, the prison has engraved on the front "House for Particular Individuals", since the cops in the movie (much like real life cops) call everyone "individuals" instead of people, etc. Again, this was on the screen for just a moment...this is one of those movies you can watch again and again and dissect it to get through the layers of funny.

Also, I normally watch movies with the subtitles on, and that clued me in to some jokes that might pass by your ears in the dialog mix, for instance, the police constantly talk about people "excaping" instead of "escaping", and there are many other mis-pronunciations that just cracked me up. But again, I might not have picked up on them just by the dialog mixed with music/sound effects; it is very subtle but still hilarious.

Additionally, the special effects were REALLY GOOD for a sci-fi/social satire.

I could go on and on, but overall, I think this is one of those movies that if you DON'T think it's funny, it's probably making fun of YOU! I plan on recommending this to many, many people!

Clerks II (2006)

CLERKS II - A great conclusion to the NJ saga!

[10/10 · 5 June 2006]

This movie was everything I hoped it would be. It is especially (or maybe even primarily) for fans of Kevin Smith's "ViewAskewniverse". (And yes, it's in color...mostly.) Also, there was no subtitle...it was titled simply "CLERKS II"...no "the second coming" or "the passion of the CLERKS".

I don't want to hit any spoilers this soon before the movie comes out, but the general idea is that it is a "coming of age" story for the Gen X slackers, who finally in their 30s find themselves not having advanced very far in life, careers, personally or even in general (this is primarily Dante's role, anyway). He decides (due to some things beyond his control) to FINALLY move on, "grow up", get married and leave Leonardo New Jersey and its band of bad influences behind.

Randall, of course, is not so keen at his only friend leaving NJ, is perfectly happy living with his parents and doing as little as possible, and a good part of the movie is spent on Randall challenging Dante's decision and exploration of their friendship.

Now, this may sound like some kind of melodrama, BUT IT ISN'T!!! That basic story is weaved between the plot devices, smart dialogue and gritty or "pushing the limits" humor we come to expect from Kevin Smith.

There's Jay and Silent Bob of course, who have a mini-character arc/growth experience themselves, Jason Lee in with an all new character for one short scene (I think this is his 5th new character in Kevin's ViewAskew franchise), and Ben Affleck with a mercifully brief (one or two line) cameo. Jay and Bob's antics are always a great break from the other action, never an intrusion, even when they are TRYING to intrude, by making asses of themselves (literally) in the background of the primary action.

Plus, a couple of new characters, a crew member at Mooby's (a McDonald's type fast food joint) named Elias who is a very religious, naive counterpoint to Randall's ruthless and jaded personality, and therefore the butt of many jokes/gags. His and Randall's comments regarding "Lords of the Ring" vs "Star Wars" are priceless and vintage Kevin Smith.

Another new character, "Becky", is played by Rosario Dawson, who is the manager at the same restaurant. She plays the part of the good female friend who depends on Dante and challenges Dante to consider if he really wants to settle for a girl who is merely tolerable.

As with the first "CLERKS", this movie pushes the limit of what can be put on film and actually get released in theaters. I hope the more controversial parts make the final cut because I think the shock value that makes you say "NO THEY DIDN'T!" is a valuable part of the equation and expected from this film franchise. Without giving anything away, there are particularly two of the films ongoing jokes, one having to do with bestiality, the other in which some very NON-PC racial terms are used, REPEATEDLY, including the "N-word". No one else has the guts to address these issues and make them funny. 'Cept Kevin Smith.

Finally, the movie really does have a story without being preachy, we're treated to known characters without it being a nostalgia-fest (for instance, Jay and Bob are in their signature places in front of the Quick Stop, but Jay utters not once "Snootchie Bootchies"...but not to fear, he finds a NEW way to crack us up...Bob's discovered a way to keep Jay's mind off of drugs. Fans of Jay will NOT be disappointed.)And the movie goes through an interesting story arc, with surprises and twists resulting in a satisfying ending.

I'm concerned that the more risqué scenes might have to be neutered for ratings' purposes; hopefully not. If so, they will be on the DVD for sure. I can say that even in very conservative KC, the audience laughed A lot, no one walked out during the most "offensive" part, and everyone seemed to really enjoy the edgy wit, smart dialogue as well as the bathroom humor that kept the film at a fun pace.

*EDIT-I've since read that 3 people walked out, which isn't bad from an audience of nearly 500 and with a movie this edgy. I guess I was enjoying myself too much to notice the walkouts!

The movie is also more realistic than some of the other View Askew movies; more like Clerks, obviously. None of the comic book type stunts like in "Mallrats" (Silent Bob's batman utility belt and flying around with a cape) or "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" (with the fake lightsaber scenes and flying on the bicycle through a wall and not getting hurt) or all the special effects,mythology and divine interventions of "Dogma" (Alanis Morisette as God appearing at the end to save the world). There are no scenes to groan at and think "ah, right, like that could happen". These characters are real, and real things happen to them, no special abilities, creatures from the underworld or new age messiahs. Just real people that many of us can relate to.

In closing...don't take your grandmother to this movie. It is full of obscene language, profane concepts, drug references, "unnatural" sexual references, etc. Unless you know your girlfriend is hip and not easily offended, test her with a DVD of "CLERKS" first to see if she "gets" the humor.

Otherwise, get a gang of friends, go to this movie and get ready to laugh your freakin' BUTT off!