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reggiebottomtooth123
Reviews
Survival of the Dead (2009)
The movie that has critics everywhere saying: "hahahaha-wait,seriously?"
I'll keep this short for everyone who actually cares enough to read it: Shocking is how I'd describe finding out this movie was by THE George Romero. Why is that so surprising? Well, the movie is s***, you see. I gave it seven stars, sure. Because it's ENJOYABLE s***. It's one of those movies you hope to God wasn't supposed to be taken seriously. It's honestly got terribly hokey zombie scenes (not just fake, but just overall lousy scenes) throughout the movie. It's a movie about a post-apocalyptic world where hundreds of thousands of people die each day, and yet these characters often have time to look around, find an interesting weapon, and kill a zombie. Highlights include literally punching a zombie a couple times, then throwing it around without it doing anything, Upon throwing over that zombie, the character grabs a nearby flare gun, shoots it into the zombie's torso, and the zombie's head somehow spontaneously combusted. Another character kills a zombie by placing a fire extinguisher nozzle into a zombie's mouth, and using the extinguisher until the zombie's eyes explode out.
Sorry, I dragged on. To sum up, sure. If you have 90 minutes to kill, watch it. Otherwise, exert the little amount of energy necessary to change the channel from whatever station is playing this (I assume) made-for-TV movie.
Monster Island (2004)
Carmen Electra being in it pretty much says it all.
Okay let me start off by saying that this is one of the greatest cinematic achievements of anyones lifetime, ever. It brought tears to my eyes with its magnificent beauty and special effects. The scene where the two praying mantis start getting it on was incredibly tasteful and romantic. I was scared out of my wits when the female praying mantis killed the male. I said out loud: "oh no." true story. Let me also say that the first have of this review should be taken no more seriously than this movie. It's not great if you're expecting laughs, it's not great if you're expecting scares, but if you go in expecting nothing, it might just reach your expectations. Maybe even surpass them! And even though the movie is one gigantic crap-fest brought to us by the always good (please catch the sarcasm) MTV, I still enjoyed the bodyguard and Adam West, who carried this movie. (Adam West is always a badass)
RoboCop 3 (1993)
The greatest cinematic achievement in film history
Let me start off by saying, right off the bat i was taken by surprise as to the appearance of a person who was half-robot, half-cop. I was like "whoa who is that??" I later started thinking this may be the "robocop" the film was named after! Besides that, then there were ninja robots, besides which i cannot possibly think of a more plausible idea. If I had the technology to build such a robot, a ninja one that can be easily hacked that turns on a self destruct when it is hacked would be the logical choice.
Really, bravo writers, I salute you!The writers of this movie should go down in history along the greats like Shakespeare and the guy who writes the geico commercials. The only movie that could possibly top this movie would have to be Sharktopus. to sum up, see this movie.
The Fountain (2006)
Quite Literally, the worst movie I've ever seen.
I have seen a large quantity of movies in my lifetime, and this movie was by far one of my most hated. Just because a movie is confusing, does not make it deep and meaningful. Sometimes, it just means that it's a terrible movie!
The whole guy in the bubble floating in space was a terrible idea to begin with, and yet it's a third of the plot!
In a list of my 5 least favorite movies (again, i have seen a lot) this is close to the top. I cannot describe how much I disliked this movie, but I can say honestly that I will never watch it again and have always referred to it as the worst movie I've seen.
2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)
Greatest Movie Ever Made.
Wow. no words can describe how powerful a film this is. Carmen Electra as a doctor? Pure genius. I was so convinced of her acting, I actually looked up her to see when she got her doctorate. Turns out, she isn't a real doctor, which I find hard to believe, because of how expertly she bandaged that guys leg that one time.
I did not expect the black guy, the arrogant jock, and the skinny dippers to die. That came out of nowhere.
Now onto the plot. I was taken by surprise when their boat was damaged. I started thinking: what if the two-headed shark showed up? sure enough, it did. I started worrying that they would all die, when suddenly they find an island to get to. I kept thinking the movie would be short, and that they would just stay on the island, but like a gift from god, the experienced screenwriters thought to have the island sink! wow. I was stunned. By now your probably thinking, how can this movie get any greater? Well, the main protagonist chi You may think a two headed shark wouldn't be very streamlined. well, you're wrong. Its plenty fast, and who knew twice the heads would mean twice the teeth? I sure didn't think of that, until one of the cast mentioned it in the movie. i was like "aw damn, shes right! this thing is twice as scary a jaws!"But luckily, this also makes it twice the movie! did not regret finding this on netflix. This is going on my shelf right next to Shawshank Redemption and Schindler's List.