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Mandala: The UFO Incident (2023)
Middling UFO Picture Passes the Time
A rather average UFO movie. A scientist lady gets abducted and her boyfriend begins investigating what happened, trying to get people to believe him. There are a lot mystery box setups that keep you interested throughout the runtime and the acting is consistently engaging, but the story ultimately goes nowhere worthwhile.
What little CGI was in the picture was surprising good for a movie which was clearly made on a tight budget, with better compositing than many current Marvel productions. I also appreciated the minimalist computer displays that didn't get carried away with themselves when dealing with the science stuff.
The one song sequence was quite nice. Again, there was clearly no budget involved, but the director did a lot with just the actors and locations.
With a more satisfying conclusion or a more fleshed out story, I would give this a recommendation, but it's just kind of "meh" when you reach the end credits. Watch if you have nothing else to do.
My first Kannada-language film.
Du xing yue qiu (2022)
Escapist, joyful, family entertainment of the sort which Hollywood has forgotten how to make.
Wonderfully enjoyable and suitable for the whole family, Moon Man is what I had hoped for from The Martian: The jokes are better, the science is good (enough), and the main character is far more likeable, with many moments of laughter and genuine emotion.
In a packed house of mostly Chinese viewers, everyone was having such a good time that even after 2 hours, no one budged from their seat when the end credits started appearing. The woman behind me must have said "oh my god!" to the events on screen at least a dozen times. The film is silly and fun in a way that you simply don't see in Hollywood any more.
Also, major props to the CGI and strong direction! There were so many downright beautiful scenes, taking full advantage of the space setting! This is definitely one to catch on the big screen, if at all possible!
Fire of Love (2022)
They sure did love volcanos!
Gorgeous volcano footage captured by the subjects of the documentary. But I could really do without the breathy, disinterested female narrator, acting like all life is a passing dream. You don't learn very much about Maurice and Katia's work except that they sure did love volcanos!
I ended up having similar feelings with this documentary as I did with "The Biggest Little Farm": A film made for California hippies who want to gaze wondrously at nature without actually learning anything.
I think that I would be more inclined to seek out the films which Maurice and Katia created themselves, rather than watching this one again. But this is a decent, pretty-looking time killer.
Rocketry: The Nambi Effect (2022)
Determination, Devotion, and Hard Science in this endearing bio-pic
A nice bio-drama for one of India's top rocket scientists. As a Westerner, without pre-existing background knowledge, some parts were a bit hard to follow on the first viewing. I was wondering for half of the film why people were mad at this guy during the intro scenes, and even later on it takes a while to be explained. But there are many nice vignettes of key moments in the career of Mr. Nambi, with tough decisions, backdoor dealings, family drama, real-world science, and some of the most intense rocket test music I've ever heard in a movie! Solid performances from the entire cast.
Some of the transitions between time periods were very abrupt and made the film feel less smooth and cohesive than it otherwise could. But for anyone wanting a good bio-pic of a determined individual overcoming adversity, or you are just obsessed with anything space-related like me, Rocketry is a good time at the movies.
Om - The Battle Within (2022)
Dressed like big boy spy movies, Struggling to button its pants
I don't often use the phrase "Leave your brain at the door," but this is the only way that Om can be enjoyed. I spent the majority of the film in confusion over who was who, what was happening, and what the goals were for any of the characters. At various points the lead character will lose his memory like Jason Bourne, jump out of an airplane and onto a stormy boat like Solid Snake, pull airport shenanigans like Frank Abagnale, sync watches with his team like Ethan Hunt, and do many other spy movie things--but you will have no idea WHY he is doing those things. No character is on screen for long enough to get to know them, and the plot is often explained by rambling off long lists of names of people that we don't know. As a result, when shocking revelations about betrayals and twists are revealed, simply dropping their name has zero impact--I don't know who they are.
The entire cast seems to be after a missile defense device or.. something, and it's not very clear why it was stolen or what the plans are for it. The best laugh I got from the film was when they started up this gizmo. The device requires a palm print, which activates a holographic display above the case, and from the **hologram floating above the case** a scanning beam shoots out to scan the iris of the user, which is one of the all-time most idiodic movie gadgets I have ever seen. If you need to ask why that is stupid, you're probably the target audience for this film.
There is some fun to be had in watching people flying through the air in slow motion while punching each other--often against poorly-keyed green screens--or in watching the shirtless lead for the ladies. But, please, don't expect anything from the plot.. it really doesn't exist.. at all..
Super Size Me 2: Holy Chicken! (2017)
Did you know that fast food contains calories? You didn't?! Boy, have I got a film for you!!
Another piece of one-sided docu-vism from Morgan Spurlock. After eating only the worst food he could find at McDonald's for a month and--unsurprisingly--getting sick, he now returns to tackle the fast food industry at large. Specifically, chicken sandwiches.
The most interesting part of this film is seeing the farming process for chickens. More than anything, it shows the farmers letting you know that most of your fears and presumptions regarding the industry are false. It was interesting to watch the chickens grow and actually left me with a better impression of the industry than before! Was this an accident?
The rest of the film has Spurlock returning to his roots of attempting to create controversy out of nothing. We see ad agencies--shockingly--using buzz words and feel-good imagery to try to sell you products. We see an "unbelievable" letter from chicken industry representatives warning farmers in the area that an activist filmmaker may try to make contact with them. We hear the grievances of "mistreated" farmers and lawyers in Kentucky who are suing Tyson Foods over a pay-for-quality system, while Spurlock makes no apparent effort to speak with Tyson Foods. He shows us how selective breeding is used to make bigger chickens, and a vet tells him the chickens are very healthy, and this is somehow a.. bad (?) thing. He hires people to work at his startup restaurant who have worked in fast food service for 7 years (?!!) and are surprised that they are not being paid more than minimum wage. And so on...
Super Size Me 2 is entirely watchable, and even a little fun, but I cannot say that I learned much of anything. Spurlock acts as though it is a stunning revelation that painting a restaurant's walls green does not lower the clearly marked calorie counts on the food. I'm not sure why you would need a documentary to tell you that, but here it is!
Chuck this film onto the growing pile of activist movies which seek to blame corporations for your own life choices. Not once does Spurlock say that you can lose weight by choosing to eat fewer calories, or get better pay by acquiring new skills.. No, no.. It's all the fault of those restaurants making the tasty food!! How dare they sell you yummy treats!
The Biggest Little Farm (2018)
First World Priviledge: The Motion Picture
The Biggest Little Farm follows the journey of a hippie-minded Californian couple who are evicted from their apartment because they are bad neighbors who let their dog bark non-stop. Someone gives them a bunch of money to start a hippie farm where all of nature will coexist in perfect harmony, another person tells them how to do everything because they are not farmers and don't know anything, and still more people do the actual farming for them.
You will not learn anything about their farming process, anything about their lives, or even anything about the subjects that the film does focus on. Each thread of attention is dropped before resolution in favor of another rambling motivational speech about how amazing nature is, because it's so pretty!
This is a 90-minute hippie lecture saying, "Corporate farms are bad. Learn to live with mother earth, kumbaya!" The sheer First World Privilege of this couple is amazing, creating what is essentially a massive flower garden and calling it a farm.
The cinematography of the plants and animals is very good, but not moreso than what you can see on the Nature Channel at any time of the day or night.
If you want to marvel at nature being pretty, not learn anything, and believe that you are the most wonderful person in the world because you purchase free-range eggs, then this is the film for you.
Shingeki no kyojin (2015)
Unintentional comedy gold
I was (un)fortunate to see this film and its sequel in theaters, during the initial US premier run. It was a packed house of people who were there to see this film and support it. In the first half of the runtime we were quiet and respectful, seeing what the film had to say. By the second half, the audience was actively laughing and jeering at this cinematic abomination. I have never seen an audience opinion form so decisively and unmistakably in real time. Not even the most ardent supporters of the Attack on Titan franchise can make excuses for this absolute trainwreck of a film. If you want to see an Attack on Titan parody, which takes itself so seriously that it becomes funny, this is your ticket!
Delirious (1991)
A "Me Too" fantasy world come true!!
John Candy plays a hack TV writer who helps or hurts the careers of actresses based on how horny he is for them and whether they'll go out with him or not. Somehow he gets sucked into the world of the soap opera which he writes and is able to pursue every degenerate fantasy which he had been lusting after. Imagine Groundhog Day, except Bill Murray ended up not learning anything by the end of the film. The character never improves or recognizes his own flaws. The "trapped in a soap opera" fantasy concept also overstayed its welcome and never became clever enough to justify its existence. You can take or leave this one; you're not missing much.
Tian · Huo (2019)
Let's build a volcano theme park! What could go wrong?
I love it when a disaster film completely commits to the stereotypes of its genre, without a hint of cynicism or winking at the audience. Skyfire is simply a fun roller coaster ride, and that's just fine. I really enjoyed some of the set-piece moments, and I was actually surprised a few times. The pace is less frantic than a lot of similar modern Western movies, giving the characters time to plan, and the audience time to catch their breath between crashes and explosions. Skyfire is nothing groundbreaking, but it is fun. Lots of fun!
Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)
Middle aged rockers try to be cool again
Bill and Ted desperately searching for "The Song" is a fitting metaphor for this film's search for a reason to exist. When you have the old cast and characters playing off of each other, Face the Music really brings a smile to your face. But all of the new characters and meandering side plots felt very unfocused, taking themselves waaay too straightforward and serious for the continuation of a nonsensical screwball 80s comedy. This felt a lot like a mediocre SNL skit for a lot of the runtime. This is definitely fun for fans, but is yet another example of a modern Hollywood dumpster dive with just "okay" results.
Let's keep praying that they never do this to Back to the Future.
Midway (2019)
Feels like a TV war documentary which is missing the narrator.
Midway is a CliffNotes overview of the famous WWII Pacific battle. You won't care about any of the characters, and it becomes increasingly difficult to identify people as the film progresses. Too many plot points and characters are inserted into a bloated runtime, so that it ends up feeling like a long series of b-roll shots from the war.
The cinematography and individual performances are on point and enjoyable, but the mid-tier CGI and lack of a compelling narrative drag this film down into "watchable" territory, without any strong points to provide for a recommendation.
One point that did stand out was the heavily sympathetic sub-plot dedicated to China, which had little to do with the title promise of "Midway". Perhaps the heavy funding from a Chinese production company had something to do with it?? 🤔
Regardless, Midway is an easy, harmless viewing. Not a film that I would seek out based on its merits, but if this came on the television and I had nothing better to do, I would not change the channel.
A Quiet Place Part II (2020)
More of the same. Competent and interesting, but unsurprising.
Whatever you thought about A Quiet Place Part 1, you will also think about this film. It is one of the purest examples I have seen of "more of the same". They shuffled up the formula just enough to hold your attention, but they are not doing anything new, risky, or innovative. The film is competently directed, interesting, and well-acted, just like before. But it is also very predictable, with overly-telegraphed plot points, and plays out in a very by-the-numbers fashion, just like before. It is another highly polished monster flick that isn't pushing any boundaries, and there is nothing wrong with that. Part 2 is worth a watch.
Special note: The trailers before the movie were 25 minutes long. The worst I've ever seen. I was on the verge of leaving the theatre when the film finally began. Stop it, Paramount!
Black Panther (2018)
Monotonous, Unambitious, and Boring
A surprisingly monotonous, unambitious, and boring film, even by Marvel standards. Less of a review, here are some random thoughts which I had while watching this movie which is only notable for being the first all-black production from the current iteration of Marvel Studios.
This film has an overflowing abundance of tell-don't-show exposition, which breaks the #1 rule of filmmaking: Show-don't-tell. For at least the first 30 minutes I had no idea what motivates the main character, what the previous king was like, what their relationship was like, or why I should care about anyone on screen except for their being the main characters in a Marvel movie.
The main character's first self-directed act of the film was to jump into the middle of the jungle, murder a bunch of conscripted child soldiers (!!!), and knowingly ruin an undercover investigation into human trafficking (I think..maybe? It's not clear). He did this so that he could invite his girlfriend to a party the next day (???). I actually laughed out loud--for the only time in the film--when he said this. Is this man a psychopath?
The film is introducing a completely new nation--apparently the most advanced on the planet--and all that the audience is shown of it is 2 or 3 largely empty rooms. They really brought the Imagineers to bear in creating this new world, didn't they? This grand nation of Wakanda feels extremely small and unimportant.
The most advanced nation on Earth--with many terrible weapons of mass destruction on hand--chooses its leaders by seeing who can beat the crap out of each other the hardest? What the hell?!?! Actually.. that seems about standard by Marvel logic.
The main character is told (not shown) that he will have a difficult time as king because he has a kind heart. At this point in the film his kindest action seems to have been in killing child soldiers.. His first morally conflicted kind act does not seem to happen until over an hour into the runtime and it has no ill effects whatsoever--in fact, it helps him! Great follow-up on that plot point, ey?
The entire first hour of the film is wasted time and does not effectively develop any of the characters to a point which other films would manage to accomplish in 10 minutes. They run around furiously, accomplishing nothing. I did not feel that I knew any of the main characters any better at the end of the film than I did at the beginning, except for perhaps the villian--he had a bit of development.
The visual effects would look right at home in a PlayStation 2 video game cutscene. Very unimpressive, very muddy, poor color contrast.. honestly, a mess.
This movie was probably supposed to release before Captain America: Civil War, I'm guessing? Because at least then I would have had some idea of what was going on with this random panther man who showed up out of nowhere. Well... that's 2 incredibly boring movies that this guy is in, anyway.
This film has some of the most eye-roll inducing and unfunny Marvel-style humor break-ins that I have yet seen. Even a bad film can be somewhat enjoyable if it takes itself seriously. But we can't do that in the Marvel universe, not ever. "Come on guys, are you done with the serious faces?" Wacky! Wacky!
I was watching all-black superhero movies when I was 8 years old, and they were a lot more fun. Can I get some love for The Meteor Man? Maybe we could follow it up with a Static Shock marathon? Good times!
Gun dan ba! Zhong liu jun (2015)
Equal parts silly, sad, and wistful. Be ready for an emotional gambit run.
Baihe Bai lights it up in this delightful rom-com about...dying of cancer(?!). Playing a bubbly comic artist with a not-very-demure personality which lands her in difficulty both professionally and romantically, she unexpectedly collapses one day and is diagnosed with lymphoma. The majority of the film follows her in the hospital as she falls into CGI-laced flights of fancy--ala Scott Pilgrim VS The World--mingles with her friends, and bats eyelashes at her handsome doctor. Somehow, this is not a complete bore.
The pace of the film switches gears often enough to keep things from getting stale. Baihe Bai is a joy to watch in every scene. All of the side characters are brought to life very well. And the sheer quirkiness of the picture keeps you engaged as it veers between our lead hoping that the doctor will need to take her clothes off in the exam room to...Matrix-running up the hospital walls while shooting zombies in the head(???). Let's just say that this is something which could only be dreamed up in Asia! A very good thing!
The jokes usually land quite well and the romance aspect never gets sickly sappy sweet. For a genre which I rarely watch, I thoroughly enjoyed this one. Equal parts silly, sad, and wistful, be ready for an emotional gambit run.
Edge of Tomorrow (2014)
Tomorrow, you will forget "Edge of Tomorrow"
If you've seen the trailers for "Edge of Tomorrow," you are familiar with the basic concept. Tom Cruise's character is sent into a battle against aliens and gains the ability to re-live that day every time he dies. This quick description covers approximately 90% of what you see in "Edge of Tomorrow."
As some kind of recruiting agent, the military decides that it's a good idea to dump Tom on the front lines because...um, well that's never explained (maybe this is why humanity is losing?). Quite a lot is not explained in this movie, but let's forget about that for now, and talk about what you're supposed to concentrate on: the explosions. Over and over again, we get to see Tom run through the battlefield with Blondie McSoldier, his somewhat romantic interest and mentor in this affair. They kill aliens, he dies, and then...they kill aliens some more.
Over and over and over and over, explosions, shooting and Tom dying. A couple of these deaths are done in a humorous way, but overall it becomes a tiresome mechanic that long overstays its welcome. Somewhere along the way, we're told how they might possibly beat the aliens by, you guessed it, explosions, shooting and dying. Also, with the deus ex machina that they eventually use, which could have been used at any point along the way, because the film has to end eventually.
I don't know what else there is to say about this movie. None of the characters are developed beyond "soldier," "girl," drill sergeant," "scientist," and the action becomes repetitious and boring about halfway through. To its credit, the aliens, mech armor, and battles all look very impressive. But with no background to the events, characters, or anything that's happening, I had a very difficult time becoming invested in any of it.
The "Groundhog Day" concept is not even the problem, as films such as "Source Code" have demonstrated. You can have action, repeating timelines, AND character development. "Edge of Tomorrow" falls into the usual Hollywood trap of simply throwing lots of CGI at the screen and hoping that it will be enough to carry the film. It's not. Audiences are more intelligent than this, and deserve better films.