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Reviews
Doctor Who: Resolution (2019)
Absolute rubbish - an insult to 50 years of heritage.
A dalek story with no daleks. Someone's been reading the "I Am Dalek" book by the looks of it.
Everything about this was a horrible and unnecessary mess. Yes doctor who has always been a but silly, but so much of this episode just did not make any sense whatsoever.
Human puppet crafts a functional dalek casing (complete with levitation, missiles and scanning apparatus) in a farm shed. Okay.
UNIT is shut down due to lack of funding??? Okay.
The daleks have always been mostly dependent upon their casing, with dangerous yet very limited capabilities in their organic form - that's the tragedy of their existence. Not any more! (Can't really pin this one on Chibs though)
The obligatory science lesson was blurted out in a very unnatural - and almost inaudible - line of dialogue.
Just painful. Worst Dalek story of the new era by far. I hesitate to even call it that.
Interesting to finally see Ryan's dad, but that should have had its own episode and not be dragged into a dalek story.
Yet again, good cast with painfully bad script.
If the message of the new series is about social justice, tolerance, equality and acceptance, then the daleks were the most potent tool in the writers' arsenal!
They are VERY DELIBERATELY the embodiment of SUPREMACY, RACISM, HATRED, OPPRESSION and XENOPHOBIA.
Which of these characteristics did this trash episode present in a meaningful way? The daleks have their roots in the very real fears of the 40s-60s and exist as a reminder of the dangers these ideologies present.
I wonder what Terry Nation would make of this new iteration of his monsters. So much for "bringing back classic who". Disgraceful.
Il racconto dei racconti - Tale of Tales (2015)
But what about...??
Absolutely gorgeous film that makes no sense whatsoever. I wouldn't mind, except right from the start it leads you into thinking that the following events are somehow connected or going to resolve together. But they don't.
About two thirds through it becomes honestly quite boring and predictable until we reach the end. Or, that is, if it had an end. It doesn't. It just stops suddenly with little to no resolution and a freaky, unanswered question.
Unnecessarily graphic - the gore and on screen sex add absolutely nothing to the production. It could have had a touch of humour or charm to offset the misery and bleakness, but both are in very short supply. Few of the characters have enough dimensions to begin forming a meaningful relationship with the audience.
It's quirky, it's kind of unexpected and very well made. Provokes many thoughts and then instantly crushes them.
If you like to leave a film feeling dissatisfied then this is for you.
The Dark Tower (2017)
Franchise-Killing Cash-Grab
Did not capture the spirit of the original story at all. Failed in pretty much every aspect. More like a "fantasy gunslinger themed CGI expo and Hollywood money factory" production. HBO TV series would have done it much more justice than this whirlwind of shallow nonsense and hype.
The Amazing Bulk (2012)
Pure Pain
This... thing... is almost beyond description. Here is a little chart to explain.
Types of film: -Masterpiece -Excellent -Enjoyable -Average -Poor -Shoddy -Awful -Utter Abomination, the likes of which mankind has never before experienced.
Amazing Bulk falls into this last category.
CGI looks like it was made using a combination of MS Paint, slideshow software and a 3D design program free demo from the 90s.
Acting is so bad its not funny, just cringe worthy.
Direction was obviously done by a four year old.
Soundtrack doesn't deserve any kind of recognition or mention.
The script was most likely penned by an illiterate chimpanzee.
Story is randomly constructed from irrelevant fragments.
Overall, so dire that it makes you cry. Laughter or sheer despair, I don't know