therealcorsican Reviews

Hawmps! (1976)

Cute movie, horrible transfer

[2/10 · 24 January 2006]

Cute movie. I remember it from those days, when I was 11 and growing up in the US. Good family movie, safe for kids, and even has a bit of history in it to justify watching it, as this situation really happened in the US Cavalry (if not the actual people and events portrayed).

Now for the bad news: As others have already noted, the picture and sound are worse than terrible. Looks like they got an old 16mm copy, a school projector, and a portable screen, and used a digital camcorder to record it while it played. Then they slapped it on a DVD and called it digital.

Although the entire image is out of focus, the left side of the screen is even more so than the right. There is also some black banding that stutters down from the top of the frame periodically.

And, judging from the sound quality, it appears that the sound was also recorded directly from the same projector, perhaps using a cheap electret condenser mic. Mounted on a piece of plywood. Or maybe stuck in a drawer.

A company with this lousy of a work ethic should not be supported. Do not buy or rent this movie unless and until it gets a completely new version re-issued from the negatives. If we stop supporting these hacks, they will not be able to stay in business without increasing the quality of their titles. If you must see it, most larger metro US libraries will probably have it. The important thing is DON'T SPEND ANY MONEY ON THIS VERSION! Don't get me wrong; the movie itself is fine, and gets a 7 from me on its own. It's the terrible quality of the transfer that knocks it down to a 2.

The Man with One Red Shoe (1985)

Underrated masterpiece

[10/10 · 11 May 2004]

Two rival CIA factions try to out-do and discredit each other; innocent bystander Hanks gets caught in the middle. Hilarity ensues.

While this movie has it's share of problems (mostly having to do with continuity and sound editing), it is still one of my favorites. The humor is pretty understated most of the time, which is probably why a lot of other commentators on this site didn't get it. I agree with another poster who opined that these are the same folks who think that a guy screwing a pie or a girl rubbing semen in her hair are the epitome of comedy (I'm surprised, though, that they didn't find the flushing ambulance funny). Either that, or a false sense of culture makes them think the French original is better ("Look at me; I'm cultured; I like a French movie," they sniff).

Some favorite moments (not in order):

*Richard Drew (Hanks) gets darted in the arse as he tries to come on to Maddy (Singer), whom he discovered in his apartment. He gets lost while talking about fate as the drug take effect and then rambles on about it before passing out with the line, "No ma, I'm not watchin' tv; I'm practicin'!" then mimes playing the violin. The camera work here is a big part of the humor as it begins to wobble around in a drugged fashion; it then wobbles over to the spot on the floor where he is going to land when he passes out, which he then does. The sound gets a bit woozy during this part as well, which adds to the effect.

*Drew goes to the dentist because his best friend (Belushi) gave him a pack of fake peanuts. Burt Cooper's (Coleman) team figures he's got some microfilm hidden in his teeth and send one of their dentists to retrieve it. (Cooper: "Take one of our dentists, and get that tooth for me." Carson: "How do I know which tooth?" Cooper: "Yeah. Well; better, uh, better just yank 'em all."). The "dentist" gets there early and knocks everyone in the office out with an aerosol spray, then lays in wait for Drew. Ross's (Durning) underling Brown (Herrmann) sends one of his own operatives to intercept and protect Drew. Drew shows up at the dentist's office to find no one around, the phone ringing incessantly, and moaning coming from one of the back rooms which stops as Cooper's dentist re-gasses a patient who started to wake up. He says, "huh-uh," and leaves. As he is getting into the elevator, Ross's man (Noonan) gets off the other elevator. Cooper's dentist mistakes him for Drew, knocks him out, and takes all his teeth. When Cooper finds out that Drew left, he is still under the impression that Drew is some kind of super-operative whose finely-honed instincts smelled the trap (never once considering that it was his own agent's incompetence that tipped him off).

*A string of mishaps cause Morris (Belushi) to think he is hallucinating dead bodies. He goes to the bathroom and, as he is standing there urinating, the door creaks open to reveal yet another dead operative hanging on the back of the door. He turns slowly around (unmindful of the fact that he is still peeing), sees the guy hanging there, turns to the camera and cries, "Aw, come on!"

*When Drew decides that perhaps the dentist is not the best idea and leaves, he catches Maddy's sweep team off guard; they still have his apartment mostly disassembled. In their rush to get things back together, they put things back together wrong (shampoo in the toothpaste tube, plumbing re-arranged) and the effects are seen throughout the rest of the movie.

*The car/bicycle chase where you think the car is going to go up a ramp and jump a truck.

I could go on and on. This movie is simply hilarious. Yes, there are problems; as when Maddy (Singer) delivers the line; "GBLX?!? But that's in charge of our entire missile defense system!" I had to groan at that one. Cooper's on-again/off-again glasses in the final foot chase scene. Some lines of dialog that were obviously dubbed in later (I guess some of the physical humor was *too* subtle for test audiences). But these are minor issues.

You may need to watch more than once to get it. And I almost forgot to mention the soundtrack, which is outstanding! I became an instant Thomas Newman fan (Road to Perdition, The Green Mile, American Beauty, Finding Nemo among many others) with this movie and was very disappointed that there was no soundtrack album available. In fact, I originally bought the VHS primarily so I could hear the soundtrack in stereo but fell in love with the movie itself upon repeated viewings. He is my favorite among the musical Newmans which include brother David (Ice Age, Daddy Day Care), cousin Joey (TV series Providence, Once and Again), 9-time Oscar-winner father Alfred (Seven-Year Itch, 20th Century Fox Logo theme), and uncles Lionel and Emil; all are well-known composers, not to mention cousin Randy.

Highly recommended.