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5/10
A decent attempt in a now reviled genre
29 March 2008
I'm going to be saying some of negatives and gripes I had with the movie, but just remember I still gave this a 6 because it was funny at times.

I'm a big fan of flatulent comedy when done right. Blazing Saddles did it beautifully (and was the first movie ever to have an on screen fart). Superhero movie seems to very single-minded on this aspect: old people = farts. One of the fart scenes was a little funny at first, but then goes on way too long.

This movie is called Superhero Movie yet is devoid of spoofs from most of them. It only spoofs three movies: mainly Spider-man, a little X-men, and a tiny bit of Batman Begins. Sadly, here the writer fell into the same mindset of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer who have almost destroyed the spoof genre with their atrocities Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Meet the Spartans. What made spoofs of old so good was when they spoofed a genre they didn't just look at the new hot commodities, they looked at all the films in that genre across the years. A more recent spoof who did it well was Not Another Teen Movie. It not only spoofed the new aged Freddy Prince Jr teen romance movies, but also went back to the John Hughes films of the 80's. I think this spoof would be more accessible to people outside of high school had he threw in some spoofs of the old Batman or Superman movies. Maybe even a little bit of a throwback to the Adam West Batman or Lou Ferrigno Hulk TV shows.

My last gripe is about the main actor Drake Bell. He might work for little kids on Nickelodeon, but he doesn't for this movie. For the sake of brevity I'll just say that if you see this movie you'll know what I'm talking about.

Those were some serious gripes, but it doesn't mean I didn't laugh. One scene in particular had me in stitches. The scene spoofed the Spider-man scene where Parker is late for dinner and is hiding from a searching Osborn on the ceiling of his room. I couldn't stop myself from laughing. I thought the scene was brilliant. Though some jokes do fall flat it is bound to happen when you spring a new joke every 15 to 30 seconds.
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Kiltro (2006)
4/10
Did I see the same movie as everyone else?
25 March 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Kiltro is an ultra low budget Chilean martial arts film, apparently the first of its kind. Since the budget is so low I can look past the bargain basement set pieces straight out of the 40s, but what I can't look past is a jumbled, incoherent story full of plot holes; stone-faced actors; terrible pacing; and god awful CG blood. They would've been better off pulling a Tony Jaa and breaking everyone's limbs and neck. It would've looked better, saved money, and had a greater effect.

Another gripe I have is with the whole love story. Everyone else seems to think it is cute and emotional. I think its scary. Zamir is nothing but an obsessed stalker. The opening of the movie has Zamir skulking in the shadows at a club watching a girl (Kim) dancing with some guy. When the guy gets a little frisky Zamir goes into rage mode and attacks. We find out later on that this guy that Zamir attacked is really Kim's boyfriend. We also find out through the story and flashbacks that Zamir had been stalking Kim for 2 years and violently attacked any guy who tried to get close to her. I don't know about you guys, but to me that isn't a good way to set up a quirky love comedy.

But I can't be all negative. Marko Zaror is an impressive individual. He is so ripped he makes some of the Spartans in 300 look scrawny, and for a man his size he has some incredible moves. I just wish he had a better director behind him. Espinoza's ham-fisted attempts at capturing the action was embarrassing. One reason why Tony Jaa is getting so popular, even though he shares the same stoic demeanor as Zaror, is because his director knows how to capture all of his moves and make them look gorgeous.

In conclusion, I think Marko Zaror has a lot of potential. I just hope he gets a decent director soon. Even if the story and acting is sacrificed again, I believe that if they can get his action scenes looking great he can be a new rising star.
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Doomsday (I) (2008)
7/10
All your favorite movies rolled into one.
25 March 2008
This movie seemed to be more clips from director Neil Marshall's favorite films than a new post-apocalyptic movie. There are the obvious references to the Mad Max series with high speed chase involving punks in their totally punked out cars, and the Escape from NY/LA movies with the whole premise of the movie and the one-eyed hero. There are also tidbits that resemble (very highly) Gladiator and Lord of the Rings. There is even a castle that looks straight out of Braveheart (it was set in Scotland, so it does fit kinda).

While it's obvious there is nothing revolutionary, or even vaguely inventive about this movie, it doesn't mean it wasn't fun to watch. If you are a fan of post-apocalypse films, like I am, you can just sit back and enjoy the ride.

If any of you are still doubting this gore filled action film let me add one more thing: I felt my $8 ticket was completely justified by the scene with the exploding bunny.
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