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Titanic (1997)
4/10
Dull, cliché, corny and overrated
22 December 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Titanic is one of the most popular, well known romance movies. It was, at one point, the highest grossing film of all time. However for the life of me, don't get the hype. I mean story wise it's nearly identical to thousands of other romantic dramas that have been done before, been done after, and in honesty, have been done much better! It's the typical woman falls in love with guy who's of different status (in this case he's poor and she's rich), and of course her parents disapprove (geez, haven't heard that one before). The problem isn't that it's a story that's been done before (after all every movie takes inspiration from some previous work in some way, and if you can add a new spin on something it can feel fresh), but the problem is that this movie feels very generic and done to death, outside of the whole "takes place during one of the most horrible disasters in history" angle, the story is as basic as they get, they don't add anything new or unique with it, or deconstruct the genre, they play the tropes 100% straight, and the dialog really cheesy and not the best written, I calculated, jack and rose say each others name 162 times throughout the film, and this isn't a nitpick, I noticed the first time I watched, it feels so unnatural, I mean think about it! Do you say the name of the person your talking to that much while having a conversation? The rest of the script isn't well written either, I mean case in point: what full grown adult woman would say "I'm flying" when on the tip of the ship like a little girl while sober? Another dumb part would have to be when their on the bow of the ship while it's sinking Rose says "this is where we first met" really? The ship is sinking, now's not a good time for that! I mean it feels like a Disney film, not a serous drama film made for adults.

The characters aren't really all that interesting either, I feel like a cliché story could be saved if it had a cast of great characters, but unfortunately the characters are kind of not the best (and the dialog doesn't help); Rose is kind of your typical girl who wants more from her life and disapproves of her parents ways (for unknown reasons), you know like a Disney princess! Cal is a typical greedy jerk who feels like a Saturday morning cartoon villain with is love of money, an almost comically revenge plain that came straight out of a 007 movie, and even a henchman to do his dirty work! It's a shame he doesn't have a mustache to twirl. (look I know not every villain has to be deep or sympathetic, but a movie like this shouldn't be this goofy with it's antagonist) Then there's Jack, who feels like a imaginary boyfriend that a 12 year old would have he's pretty much flawless (I mean that in a bad way, he's a Gary Stu): he's handsome (he looks more average to me, but whatever), he's artistic, he can dance, he's overly nice and smart, he gets along with everyone he's meets and he's willing to give up his entire life to a woman he just met. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that they need to make him mean or unlikable (in fact it's probably a good thing they didn't especially being a romance film), but at the same time flaws are part of what makes us human, and characters having personal flaws make them more relatable, if their perfect at everything they do, never make mistakes, then they feel not real. However they did give Jack one major flaw, a flaw that almost certainly wasn't intentional: the moment he meets Rose, he never once pays attention to he friends again! Which is a really jerk move, and the movie never calls him out on this, it's treated like this is something totally fine, kind of a d*ck move for a supposedly amazing guy. The overall love story doesn't work for me for 3 reasons 1: like I said both of the main leads are bland and uninteresting 2: the whole thing is so cliché and even predicable (i.e. We just have to have a forced misunderstanding with that dumb diamond) and 3: they only knew each other for 4 days, and yet they treat it like it's a amazing love story! Don't get me wrong I can see the start of a relationship in that time, love has to start from somewhere after all, but the fact that they act this in love after knowing each other for less than a week is ridiculous! I know she had a fiancée she didn't like but still you just met this dude, and with how prefect he was, I have a feeling that if he did anything remotely off your entire relationship would be put into question. Though to be fair when it comes to characters I kind of liked, I'd say the guys listening to old roses story, since they felt more real then the rest of the cast, and their dialog wasn't as narmy. (there are other characters like roses mother, but their more the same), but overall the characters are simplistic (and not really in a good way) and kind of bland.

Now we get onto the sinking, what some people say is the best part of the movie, do I agree? Well sort of..... it's well made and (mostly) historically accurate, though their are a few bad things such as how they added a Bond-esque trap (Jack cuffed while the water fills the room), demonized a real guy who died on the ship (look it up, he was hero), and forced us to cry as appose to letting the emotional moments naturally flow (no pun intended) they literally threw in a montage of people awaiting the end set to sad violin music, why not just throw in crying bunny rabbit while we're at it? It comes out of nowhere and feels shoehorned in (I understand this happened in real life, but I feel like there could of been better ways to highlight this, maybe have Rose come across these people while looking for Jack?) , and last but not least: the cheesy dialog of our two protagonists make the sinking a lot less intriguing then it could of been. But I will say that their are some great things such as the overall scope of the sinking, some of the tense scenes involving the flooding rooms, and it still looks amazing to this day.

I've been pretty harsh on this movie I admit, but there are things I do really like about it: for starters the amazing looking set made for this film are truly a work of art! They really captured the overall look and feel of both the ship and the time period, it might be some of the best set design I've seen in a movie, I mean that!. The costumes used are also well done and classy, even the way the poor people are dressed look authentic! As for other positives: I like some of the sinking like I already said, and Kate Winslet looked nice (heh), but besides that this movie is shockingly overrated!

Overall titanic is a cliché mess that get too much credit! It's actually kind of shocking how much critics and the general public praise it, especially since multiple other romance movies are dumped on for the exact same reasons! (ill be fair and say that unlike other curtain other romance movies, at least this one doesn't glorify a toxic relationship) I'm not one to hate on a film just because its popular, and I do to an extent see why it's as well known as it is, but still I find it ironic people point to this film as one of the great originals when it's just Romeo and Juliet on a cruse.
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8/10
fans of the show must see this
7 August 2012
Warning: Spoilers
yes there's spoilers in this review be warned. its a good and funny movie that fans of the show must see. even if you not a fan of the show it might still be worth checking out. the story is good, spongebob and patrick are in character the hole time,and its funny. the animation is also good, it looks very clear and bright. the story is that spongebob and patrick must go to shell city and get back king Neptune's crown after plankton sends it there and spongebob and patrick need to hurry up because king neptune froze mr krabs and plans to kill him. there's characters never seen in the series and the Krusty krab 2 is never seen again after the movie witch is odd because the Krusty krab 2 was not destroyed, plankton went to jail but he's out of jail again in the show , and none of the new character were killed off (except for denies) but thats a good thing because movies based of TV shows should not add new things to the show and besides some people believe that the movie takes place after the show (witch is not over yet). anyway good movie check it out if you can.
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Men in Black (1997)
9/10
a funny and great sy-fy movie
7 August 2012
Warning: Spoilers
this movie is a great sy-fy comedy. the men in black trilogy about two people from area 51 who protect the earth from aliens. in first one the main bad guy is a cockroach like alien and spends most of his time disguised as a human and wants to take over. there's lots of funny moments, action, and some cool sy-fy stuff. highly recommend for fan of sy-fy comedy, it has aliens,secret agents,and a talking pug whats not to love? anyway what i don't get is SPOILERS whats the point of erasing agent k memory at the end when in the second one he gets i back and he keeps if for the rest of the trilogy? anyway good movie check it out if you can.
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