tdeladeriere Reviews

Death Factory (2014)

Serial Killers, Inc.

[6/10 · 23 March 2015]

In the introduction, a hillbilly woman is (somewhat disturbingly) beaten and killed by who appears to be her violent ex-boyfriend, before said goon is killed by the lady's son. I'm still in the process of sorting out how this fits into the whole storyline, but maybe that's pointless, as proved later.

A few decades later, that same son has grown into a bearded and broody hunk. He's part of a group of disparate individuals heading to the desert for some sort of spiritual enlightenment trek. There's a preacher and his dull girlfriend, the goofy best friend, the sports fanatic, 2 bimbos, 2 worthless goths, a fat foul-mouthed lady, etc.. Halfway through, their bus breaks down and they hike to a ghost town. The same ghost town that, earlier on, a salesman "bought" the rights to the Death Factory Museum from an unsuspecting local. The poor chap must have been the only left resident in town. After some accidental sexual witchcraft, the 2 goths awaken the spirits of legendary serial killers like Ed Gein, Jack the Ripper, and a a healthy handful of others (including a bare-chested lethal vixen I couldn't recognize, but maybe she was only there for gender equality). The broody and hunky son makes it a mission to save his reluctant posse by absorbing the spirit of said killers, then there's some capoeira, and the Devil, and it just stops making sense.

If you agree to not try and make sense of the very messy storyline, you will probably be pleasantly entertained by the varied shenanigans. All the killers have great presence (except maybe for the aforementioned vixen, probably because she has no back-story in our collective pop consciousness). They are strongly portrayed, have threatening presence, and are prominently featured. There's lots of actions and gruesome killings, some refreshing nudity, the plot twists keep on popping until the very end, there's nothing to be bored with. Just leave your expectations at the door and enjoy the heartfelt ride.

Camp Dread (2014)

Slow but decent slasher

[5/10 · 19 October 2014]

Don't go into "Camp Dread" with expectations of something new. This is a by-the-books slasher, and all the rules are respected (for a reason). Dumb and horny teenagers, a cabin by the lake, a mystery killer, gory offings every 10 minutes or so, down to the finale where the survivor keeps running into the dead bodies of her former inmates as he/she tries to escape the killer.

References abound in more than just the tired, if necessary, format. Felissa Rose plays the star of a slasher 80's trilogy, much like she did in real life as the cult hermaphrodite killer in "Sleepaway Camp". Most murders are recreations of classic offings from previous slashers, like "Friday the 13th" but also "Psycho". Of course, this all fits into the script, since this tells the story of a twisted slasher producer experimenting on a new reality-TV format for the 4th installment of his long-forgotten horror franchise.

Bodies are dispatched at a slower rate than usual, which is the movie's main setback. Unlike successful slashers of yore, most of the offings happen after the 40 minute-mark, with a crescendo during the last 20 minutes. For that reason, there's no real final girl, or suspense for the climax.

Although villains are a-plenty in this amoral marathon, the movie succeeds in keeping the audience wondering who is the killer, and a few final twists will actually keep you off-guard. That and a fair amount of blood should satisfy any slasher fan's basic needs.

Kissing Darkness (2014)

Surprisingly tolerable gay horror

[6/10 · 10 August 2014]

Finally ! After making the rounds of the few gay horror movies out there, this is the first one that I could actually watch back to back without fast-forwarding in hopes of actual scares or naughty bits to while away the boredom.

A group of friends (who do sound like a group of friends, unlike most slasher movies) rent a cabin in the woods to escape the hollow festivities of West Hollywood Gay Pride. Once there, boredom fast settles as they're deprived of their usual party tactics, until a Ouija board awakens the spirit of a Gothic murderess.

Most of the cast is instantly likable, though as a gay man, it's usually cringe-y to admit that, yes, you do talk and act like that. Past that vanity trip, you will invariably identify with at least one of the leads, be it the romantic hunk, the party blonde twink, the lonesome dreamer or, why not, the tested straight friend (if I was straight, I would have killed all of these sissies after one hour).

The director makes good use of the limited settings. For a gay horror movie, it didn't look like a camcorder cheapie. It does compete with low-budget straight slasher.

The obligatory titillation mostly comes from the guys parading bare-chested, and they look good, with the occasional sex scene thrown in. The scares, well, it's not really scary, but there's quite a bit of blood, and the undead murderess was venomous enough. There's no dead time, and the comedy helps make it through the body count and the final twist. Really not bad at all.

3 Wicked Witches (2014)

a small step in the right direction

[5/10 · 10 August 2014]

For the past few years, former cult director DeCoteau has built on a franchise with his 1313 movies which consists of one hour of good-looking guys parading around a huge California mansion in various states of underwear, taking long R-rated showers or writhing on sun-drenched king-size beds before getting killed/hypnotized/possessed by an evil spirit/witch/whatever. All his movies now look the same, with extremely slow pacing, barely a storyline and not one scare or trace of blood.

Although "3 Wicked Witches" is not officially part of the 1313 franchise, it borrows the same premise and elements (though it uses a different shower). What distinguishes it from its predecessors is a cast of entertaining ladies linking the scenes together (Lisa London steals the show) and actual blood during the murders ! Looks like DeCoteau was able to rent one of his former boss's Charles Band murderous dolls (and even part of the Puppetmaster soundtrack) to give this entry a genuine horror element.

Granted, it's still not scary. If anything, it inadvertently achieves what previous entries failed to do, which is titillate. The first victim actually slips his hand a few time under his whities in furtive close-ups before being dismissed, and another victim's basket is longingly filmed counter-plunging while he pumps his biceps. It's not much, and DeCoteau doesn't look totally comfortable with it, but it's still much more than what extremely tame previous entries like "Haunted Frat" or "Night of the Widow" have delivered.

1313: Haunted Frat (2011 Video)

Ghosts in briefs

[3/10 · 8 May 2014]

I don't know who owns this house that director DeCoteau uses in all his 1313 installments, but should it ever go on the market, the realtor has his work cut out for him. The huge California mansion has its exteriors and interiors lavishly filmed in slo-mo for the 1st 20 minutes of the movie (and most installments) as a guy in underwear invariably roams the corridors and patio in a trance-like state for no reason at all.

20 minutes of a guy walking around in his underwear is a long time, even when you're gay, so I can't imagine a straight man inadvertently renting one of the 1313 movies looking for a cheap scare. There's none to be found, and "Haunted Frat" is no exception.

After the aforementioned 20 minutes intro, followed by a shower scene (chest & legs only, DeCoteau even forbids himself butt shots in his quest for R-rated gay entertainment) and a long swimming sequence, the titular ghost (and the only representative of the fair sex) is introduced, as it touches the body of the resting swimmer then teases another bespectacled fratboy (presumably a geek, though geeks are never that hot). The geek reveals to one of his frat buddies that this very modern mansion was once a sanitarium, in which case the redecorator did a hell of a job. This explains why the ghost of a former "Beverly Hills 90210" extra haunts the place, looking for bodies of twuds (that cross between twinks and studs you find in Bel-Ami) to graze with her immaterial hands.

At one point, two guys run, which is a nice change of pace for the apathic chiller which will also send you in a trance-like state, so make sure you also own white briefs to fit in the decorum.

Ritual (I) (2013)

Competent but unachieved

[6/10 · 8 April 2014]

A former couple (it's all not very clear) wrangles with a Texan satanic cult when the pretty lady offs one of its members in self-defense.

The bulk of the action happens in a motel and certainly reminds of the movie of the same name with Kate Beckinsale. The lead actress in this one is not as strong, playing every emotion to the hilt until you can't really make sense of what's actually feeling in the relatively short time span in which the action takes place.

This and a stretched-out, unsatisfying ending are the movie's downfall, although it has its moments. The director is one to follow, making the most of the dark, confined spaces and simple, scary set-ups. The lead actor also makes up for his partner, counter-balancing some detestable, macho statements (if the girl was almost raped, that's because she put herself in that position) with humane actions. The movie loses momentum when he's killed by the cult two-thirds of the way. Still, a competent if unachieved time-killer at midnight.

Tower of Blood (2005 Video)

Run-of-the-mill slasher

[3/10 · 21 August 2013]

There isn't a lot to remember from this run-of-the-mill low-budget slasher. 3 young couples and their douchebag friend intrude a disaffected tower for a night of partying. Unbeknownst to them, a hulking figure haunts the abode with its machete and starts dismembering them one by one.

There's no build-up and/or tension. The origins of the killer are mostly unexplored, save for a brief flashback to an asylum escape in the prologue. Though he's big, he's never really menacing and I found his decrepit mother to be a much more interesting foe. Unfortunately, she only intervenes at the the very end of the movie.

Slashers all run the same formula and maybe this would have worked with a bigger cast (more deaths = more fun). The only surprise is to be found in the final survivor, who I thought would be the first to be dismissed. And that's a good thing because he's also the cutest.

Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines (2012 Video)

Vicious and mean

[3/10 · 23 December 2012]

How that franchise has fallen from exciting and riveting to crass and predictable in the span of 4 sequels is saddening.

This 5th installment is basically a redux of the 3rd one, with a similar set-up and a just as forgettable cast of characters. It unevenly tries to maintain a balance between slasher, backwoods & gore but has none of the jump-out-of-your-seat thrills of the former and dispatches the second midway through the movie. So we are left with gore, and plenty of in a mean and disgusting way. The kills are traditionally inventive and bloody in the "Wrong Turn" franchise, but now they're just meant to induce nausea. The creatures slowly feed a bimbo her entrails, slowly smash a hunk's knees to smithereens, slowly burn a drunkard in a can, you got it, it's got to be slow and mean and disgusting. And the creatures laugh maniacally throughout it all, as if the director expected its audience to laugh with them at their victims' misery. I found it mean, gratuitous and insulting and came out of this seating feeling dirty and cheap.

On a positive note, there's some good sex scenes that are a throwback to more "innocent" slashers, and the sheriff had presence and gusto. It also looks slick and professional, which does not excuse its zero values.

Scary or Die (2012)

A showcase

[5/10 · 14 December 2012]

Lured by the cover art to think I was in for a killer clown movie, the Creepshow-esque hand that clicked on the scaryordie website in search of a good horror clip made me realize that this was an anthology.

I haven't bothered to check if all segments were directed by different directors, but what they lack in a unifying theme, they make up with style. The general vibe is old-school, with enough blood to keep the viewer happy but no outright gore or torture. The set-ups are also classic : zombies, vampires, devil cults and the aforementioned killer clown. Segments range from 10 to 30 minutes, with no twists. The story lines are straightforward to a point and do not try to add to any mythos. But they all deliver with elegance and a lot of promise.

Because none of the sketches tries hard to surprise you, they're better left at their short running time, which is enough to be impressed by the directorial styles displayed. This explains why the Clown segment, the longest in the anthology, is also the weakest. It outstayed its weak set-up. The first and last segments, both tales from the undead, are also the slickest and nicely round up this hodgepodge of atmospheric, but almost too respectful quickies.

Deadly Renovations (2010)

Cheap and entertaining.

[5/10 · 4 November 2012]

For something distributed by Midnight Releasing, this wasn't half bad. A group of 30-something friends acquire an old hotel to renovate. This hotel has a history of murder and legend has it that a few million dollars are hiding somewhere in the premises. Parallel to their first night on the job, an old man is released from jail and is intent to find this loot on that same night, with the help of a taxi driver and a vagrant who inhabits the place.

This is low-budget, so expect a no-name cast with acting abilities ranging from non-existent to mediocre. Some of the ladies were pretty, though all the guys were paunch-bellied repulsive. Still, the director knows his pace and there are enough twists and turns to keep the attention going. I could count 4 different killers within the 90-minutes span, the most interesting one being regrettably underused. The movie rides a fine line between maniac, slasher & thriller but marches to its own drum. The whole storyline has of course been done before but the crews's heart was definitely in it and everyone performed at the best of their limited abilities.

The Watermen (2012)

Fine premise, clichéd delivery

[5/10 · 11 May 2012]

This thriller starts in medias res, as a girl is being hunter at night in the swamp by a couple of hulking goons in fishermen's attire. After she meets her fate, we are introduced to six fine pieces of trash Americana leisuring in a posh villa. The 3 girls look right out of a bikini-happy euro-dance music video and the 3 guys, who use "Dude" at the beginning of each sentence, probably hit the gym 3 times a day. This fine group of clueless bourgeoisie get ready for a fishing trip (duh ?) in the middle of the sea.

Before they embark, they stop by some kind of store run by an old fisherman that sells them "special" bait. Turns out the bait if made of human flesh, as the 6 airheads will soon discover.

To its credit, this movie is slickly directed and photographed. Nocturnal swamp scenes could have easily turned into one giant black screen with dialogue in any other B-movie, but the director of photography knew what he was doing. It all looks quite professional.

It's all the more sorry that there's not a single novel idea in the movie that could save it from instant disposability. Clichés abound, and quite cringe-worthy ones, I'll tell you : one of the girls, who didn't know what she was getting into, is actually the lead's former girlfriend, of course they fall in love again, everybody gets drunk before the drama begins, the first ones to die are the hottest and dumbest but they still show their tits, the villains talk some kind of Russian, the main goon comes back from the dead so often that you feel like you're watching another "Friday the 13th" installment, the male lead drops his shirt for completely out-of-place action sequences, there's a baton-of-fire fight that looks more like capoeira than a real fight for survival, and I forget some.

This movie's been done before a hundred times (and the director must have seen all hundred) spanning the whole gamut of Hollywood genres : survival, action, romance, stoner comedy... Still, it's done professionally, and past the 1st 40 minutes, it moves fast enough that an undemanding audience will have its fun, as did I. And it doesn't hurt that the whole cast (male & female) is goddamn gorgeous and not shy of dropping their tops.

The Portal (I) (2010)

And the music never ends

[1/10 · 7 May 2012]

From the moment the film opens to its ending credits, the soundtrack never stops. Possibly the director thought the endless cacophony of strings and wind instruments would lend some flair to this uninspired epileptic mess, but it only managed to give me a headache. It took me 3 sittings to make it through this drabfest, not necessarily because it was bad (it was) but because of the never-ending soundtrack.

As to the movie ? A nurse and her (hot) male colleague (the only reason this got a 1/10) investigate the bizarre head-exploding death of a former patient. As they meet the relatives of the victim, a couple of other heads explode and ghost children emerge from a black painting looking like a fuzzy B&W TV screen, probably because they are the key to this exploding-head mystery, but you'll never know, because by the time the movie reaches its pitiful climax, the music gets so obtrusive that you can't hear anything Michael Madsen says before he starts laughing hysterically and his head explodes. The poor nurse is now into hysterics and you will be too, unless you pop a Cuprofen.

The Dead Don't Scream (2007)

Cityville on acid

[5/10 · 10 April 2012]

Okay, in between the raving reviews from the cast & crew and the usual "worst-movie-I've-ever-seen" reviews from audiences who obviously have never seen a film directed by Roberta Findlay lies this mixed bag of a review.

The movie starts, predictably, with a group of young attractive adults heading for a party at a lake, mini-Spring Break style. A few minutes before, a couple of bare-chested chicks got offed by an unseen assailant in these same premises. As the ride progresses, we are treated to regular humorous interludes which sets the tone for the 1st half of the movie. The laughs and the overall offbeat attitude will definitely keep you interested until the carnage begins. Unfortunately, and as previously stated by other reviewers, you will also have to endure absolutely atrocious acting by the attractive but insanely untalented cast. Lines are droned like everybody's xanaxed to their eyeballs, the final girl/female lead taking the cake.

The partygoers are abducted one by one and conducted to a car-part factory that doubles on disposing of the vehicles' owners in a gruesome manner. There begins a game of cat & mouse that's sometimes fun, sometimes a bit meh. The humour that permeated the first part of the movie almost disappears from that second chapter, only sporadically revived by the interventions of the bonkers Twin Peaks family that owns the business. This family reeks of in-breeding and other smelly secrets. As it is, they and their frankly surrealist Streetfighter goons save the second part of the movie.

The 3rd part sees the final girl trying to convince the town's sheriff that bloody dealings happen in the smalltown's factory. This part buries the nail in the movies' coffin, as it requires the most emoting from the incapable cast, a task naturally failed by most.

All in all, the script and an inspired direction, as well as a few really kooky moments (including the end credits), salvage this low-budget take on the American Gothic from instant disposability.

Beware (I) (2010)

Really not a bad slasher at all

[6/10 · 2 April 2012]

I'm usually wary of ethnocentric horror movies. I've watched my share of all-black horror and these count among the worse horror movies ever made (and I've seen "A Night to Dismember"). So when the all-latino cast unrolled, I was almost instantly persuaded that I would lose again 90 minutes of my loser life. Never judge a book by its cover.

A group of friends ride to a nearby latino festival but their trip comes to a halt with car problems and one creepy garage help. Like the majority of modern slashers, "Beware" suffers from the how-could-they-be-friends symptom. The tough leading lady and her no-bullshit boyfriend, I can fathom, but her cheap-tease BFF and said-tease's super-heavy boyfriend ? I'm not mentioning the dorky brother. Anyway, when & why did these 5 people become friends and lovers ? Past that disappointment, the movie starts off early with the requisite introduction murder and another couple of redneck murders in the 1st 20 minutes. Then the characters establish themselves at a local's secluded house and the carnage keeps on at a steady pace.

As mentioned by another reviewer, the special F/X are top-notch for that kind of low-budget movie and the crew must be commended. One particular pyrotechnic stunt really blew me away. The director also has a good sense of pace and thankfully kills off the most grating characters first. I'll also say that the killer's backstory is one twisted piece of work. References to the "Friday the 13th" abound and keeping on with Jason's tradition, there's more than one pair of boobs on display. If you can get past the lead actors and their irritating characters, this slasher is safe bet.

A Haunting in Salem (2011 Video)

run-of-the-mill haunted house movie

[5/10 · 11 March 2012]

A couple and their two kids move into a beautiful house with a dark past. The beautiful, Victorian mansion witnessed a murder 50 years ago and this family will soon realize that they may be next on the cursed list.

You saw this movie ten times before, most notably a few years ago or 30 years ago if you're older, with "Amityville". The story and template remain the same in most B-movie spawns of the (already passable) original and "A Haunting in Salem" is no exception. The couple have silent unresolved issues, the eldest daughter hates the house, the realtors obviously know something and with each new manifestation, the family deteriorates.

Along with the by-the-books script, the casting here is the main problem. The mismatched couple never look like they've shared more than a few months together, even though they have two kids. The wife is much too good-looking for her husband and there's not one spontaneous sign of love throughout. Also, there's no interaction between the kids, so you're left with 4 characters that just don't gel.

On the plus side, the show moves rather briskly, with barely a dead moment once the characters are established, and the cinematography looks professional. As previously mentioned by another reviewer, this would make a nice TV movie-of-the-week. In other words, it's slick but sorely lacks ambition.

Slaughtered (2010)

Half a pint of slash

[5/10 · 8 March 2012]

Waiters in an Australian pub get sliced and diced by a masked killer while the patrons refuse to go away. This sounds stupid and it certainly is, but I'll give the director credit for making half a movie without a script.

As far as slashers go, this holds few to no surprises, except for the setting (the pub). Glover knows her classics and fits in a Crazy Joe among the patrons, who warns the waiters that they're all doomed. For whatever reason, the manager decides to lock the doors of the pub after the first killing and the waiters have to evade the maniac from within the premises, without alerting the customers. On more than a few occasions, one of the waiter/resses witnesses a murder, comes back to the bar hysterical...and somehow resumes work. Most slashers requires a huge suspension of disbelief to work, but this one takes the cake.

The acting is passable and the budget is low, but somehow, Glover delivers the goods and trusses up a moderately tense 80 minutes, while incorporating borderline-absurd humour into the format. Not too much, fortunately. As for the maniac, don't look for any motive other than wearing that dashing black robe and dead-skin mask.

Monsters in the Woods (2012)

Disconcerting backwoods monster movie

[8/10 · 4 March 2012]

On the entry point of what looks like a run-of-the-mill backwoods slasher, a dizzy blonde gets pounded by a black dude under a tent before the latter gets slashed by a bird-faced killer off-camera. Then a director yells "cut !" and we get to meet a cinema crew shooting an additional sex scene for their low-budget horror movie. The director is a tyrant, the boom operator is lecherous and the girlfriend of the aforementioned black guy wants to join the amateurish cast.

The next half-hour is a macabre farce, where the ensemble piece slowly gets diced off by giant bugs in-between a lot of zany bickering. Cut to a X-Files duo exploring these same woods with some heavy artillery and a mysterious agenda.

"Monsters in the Woods" is an unexpectedly funny take on guerrilla movie-making and may also be a homage to low-budget horror movies of the 50's, with the giant monsters and the satanic cults. The script is a hodgepodge of ideas, which to my delight flew in every directions up until the hysterical finale. There's magic in this mess, though I would not recommend it to anybody looking for something in particular, because it's not something in particular. It's a bit of everything, done with improvised flair and not a lot of budget. As usual, it's difficult to determine if Linda Bella is a terrible actress or if she does this on purpose.

Exorcism (2003)

Holy Moley !

[1/10 · 29 January 2012]

The 1.0 voting is for the demons' make-up, which was okay, and for the evil nurse, who was the only actress in this dud.

Black and latino thugs break into the house of a whitebread, Christian family. When one of the thugs is visited by an angel, they run away, leaving the perfectly coiffed dad's-jeans father and his virginal blonde daughter in shakes. Meanwhile, the mother is ready to leave the hospital where she's treated for who-cares-what affliction when an eeee-vil nurse warns her of impending doom.

The thugs start to experience evil possession but are saved by a black minister that teaches exorcism-101 to the aforementioned blonde daughter, as you do. Then the whitebread dad admits to his brain-dead wife that he once joined a Satanic cult to obtain wealth and now he fears that his whole family is cursed. That's before he's possessed by the Devil and refuses to leave his bed.

This is a horror film a written by a "7th Heaven" writer, but with less subtlety. It looks like an educational film, with the same absence of style, drama-class rejects cast and a patronizing message. Previous reviewers stated that they thought it was a comedy, which I can relate to. The acting and dialogue are so atrocious that it borderlines on parody. The mother in particular is a hoot, with her xanaxed smile even when the evil nurse clutches the rosary beads from her hands.

This goes highly recommended to bad-movie lovers. My eyes were glued to the screen, mesmerized by the nullity of everything, but still I couldn't turn it off. It's fascinating that someone, somewhere financed this.

Carnival of Fear: Closed for the Season (2010)

A creepy & poetic ride

[9/10 · 24 December 2011]

A girl wakes up into a dilapidated amusement park and seems to drift from nightmare to nightmare until she meets the caretaker of the park, who's willing to anchor her back to reality. But the nightmare doesn't end that easily and the newly-found couple are haunted and pursued by the ghosts of the park, including the Monster from the Lake, the Alligator and most of all, Carny, who holds the key to their escape.

The 1st five minutes firmly establish a dreamlike quality, an ethereal half-sleep that holds on until the very last reel. For once, the CGI helps more than hinder, giving the effects an old Hollywood magic. Still, the strength of "CFTS" is that it never drifts into complete absurdity, even at its most awkward. Each kooky segment leads to the final revelation, which of course is love.

There's enough humor, grue & thrills to keep the unprepared audience satisfied, and those that are willing to take the plunge will be taken for a creepy and poetic ride.

Wolf Town (2011)

Yawning at the moon

[3/10 · 18 December 2011]

A stoner guy invites the girl of his dreams to a trip in a ghost town called Paradise. He takes his best friend along and the girl of his dreams takes her boyfriend with her. Which leads to all the emotional drama you're going to get in between the wolf attacks.

Like a lot of modern survivals, the writer pads the running time with a lot of bickering and interpersonal drama. Although the production crew had the decency to hire real wolves instead of CGI, a lack of tension permeates these boresome 90 minutes, partly due to the leads' shocking lack of charisma. In between a spiteful, wimpy lead, a grumpy best friend and a bland, blonde love interest, the most involving character is actually the football player jock, who demonstrates more sensitivity and balls than the whole rest of the cast. When he dies, the movie dies too.

Dead on Site (2008)

Slasher Scooby-Doo

[30 October 2011]

This low-budget slasher delivers all it has in the first 5 minutes, including top-billed Tiffany Shepis. The reigning scream queen has the honor of being the first victim in a quick series of graphic murders whose only pathetic pattern is that its victims are female and interchangeable.

If you're of sick disposition, you may think you're in for a fine, brainless 90-minutes slasher ride. Unfortunately, past the gruesome and depressing prologue, it is a very long and uneventful stretch to the silly finale.

A group of college "kids" invest the house that hosted this series of murders a few years ago. Supposedly, they stream their adventures online for a reality website, an idea that's barely exploited for the whole duration of the movie. As often happens in slashers, the group consists of polar opposites who would never mix in real life. There's a blonde bimbo, an Asian bad girl, a shy Latino girl, a greasy-haired bully, a two-cents "stud" and a techno geek.

All the guys disappear one by one (off-screen) and the Asian girl (who switches indifferently from bad girl to bimbo to kung-fu) goes all Scooby-Doo trying to find out who's offing everybody, thinking aloud with her Valley Girl accent. Of course, when events start to get smelly, the girls don't consider leaving the house.

Except for these Scooby-Doo flashes, nothing else happens for the next 80 minutes, including boobs or blood. Once the killer is finally revealed, your only solace will be to laugh at the rushed-in sorta-climax and agree that yes, this was a lot of crap.

Mask Maker (2011)

What a nice surprise !

[19 October 2011]

Slashers are a dime a dozen in the B-movie horror genre, so when a good one gets released, we should celebrate it.

There's no point in telling the story as it's one we've heard times & times before. What differentiates this slasher from the thousand others on the market is the great acting & writing. I found myself smiling more than I few times to one-liners, delivered by the able leads and supporting cast. My hat goes off to the female lead for being a great addition to the Final Girl mythos. She does tip her own hat to Amy Steel in the pop-psychology finale. For once, the group of friends actually act like real friends, not just a salade composée of geeks, bimbos, punks and jocks. The face-ripping shtick is a wink to "Texas Chainsaw" and some of the cinematography is straight out of "Halloween". But "Maskerade" stands on its own. Slasher fans MUST check it out.

Interface (1984)

bargain-bin War Games

[12 October 2011]

A college professor & an unlikely female ally get targeted by a computer-worshiping cult.

This one took a lot of acclimatisation. A lot of characters are introduced in the beginning, most of them not to be seen until the very end. The hero, a college professor who has neither balls nor ethics, is a hard lead to root for. The fun begins when the techno-whiz cult, in garish & spooky costumes, start their killing spree and the wife of one of the victims tries to solve the riddle in very unconventional ways (kudos to Lauren "The Nanny" Lane for adding much-needed spunk to the movie).

This has all the charm of naive 80's sci-fi movies, with big, bold letters sending big, scary messages on big, green computer screens. Atari slasher. The whole set-up is extremely silly and the director constantly winks to the audience, but the humor actually weighs the story down. Fortunately, it moves quite fast and the interaction between the leads is the main attraction. Cheap fun if you're not too demanding.

Drive-in Horrorshow (2009)

Too respectful for its own good

[3/10 · 26 July 2011]

"Drive-In Horrorshow" is a low-budget horror anthology made of 5 segments that have nothing in common, except that they all belong to a particular horror sub-genre. These segments are introduced by a ghoulish host that looks straight out of a b&w TV show, which nicely hints at the anachronistic nature of the segments, or rather their desire to encompass all eras of horror movies.

In no particular order, there's the monster movie, the torture movie, the slasher, the urban maniac and some sci-fi with men in black thrown in. This should make for a fun spectacle, but most of the segments go nowhere. The most blatant example is the first bit, "The Pig", which is 10 minutes of a raped girl torturing her tormentor in the bathtub until...he dies. There's no twist. This can also be said of the sci-fi segment, which reads like the 1st 20 minutes of a movie and then cuts. The slasher bit is simply 90 minutes of SOV backwoods slasher condensed in 20 minutes.

Although not original in any way, the "Meat Man" segment at least has endearing performances by the lead kids and some sort of twist, as does "The Closet". You get the feeling that the director simply wanted to pay respect to the many sub-genres of horror, but was simply out of ideas. As a homage, it works in a modest way, but as a movie, there is simply nothing to hold on to.

The grue is omnipresent, though surprisingly no so much in the torture segment. Even with 20 minutes segments, this mostly bored me. There's obviously a lot of heart, but no ideas. Next time, try a script.

Vengeance of the Dead (2001 Video)

An unassuming low-budget ghost chiller

[6/10 · 13 June 2011]

That flashy box-cover fooled me into thinking I was getting into a silly, fun Charles Band ride. It was all the more difficult after that to get into the mood for this very spare ghost chiller, but I was hooked in 5 minutes.

The prologue sees a young man (possibly gay ?) driving through the country to greet his grandfather after some time in the city. The farm is modest, the fields never-ending and grandpa is full of love for his grandson. Then visions of the past haunt the son's dreams, until he finds himself sleepwalking into some of his granddad's old friends' homes...to burn them.

The ghost story is simple and reminiscent of "The Nesting", and probably a few other ghost movies. The lead looks convincingly lost in the situation he's put in (and obviously lost in a few other areas of his life). The settings adequately serve the haunting storyline, as this town is clearly a town where nothing happens and secrets stay buried.

Although there was no surprise to be found, the creepy pace of the movie and a modest but distinctive direction kept me interested all the way through.