coleman601-504-844864 Reviews

The Divide (2011)

What an absolute waste of time and money

[1/10 · 18 April 2016]

I have never seen a movie so messy and so sickening at the same time. What starts off is an attack of some kind on New York that forces a group of survivors into a bunker. Right away there is a massive hole in the story - THERE IS NO WAY THE ATTACK IS NUCLEAR. First of all we open with the main character starring for about 30 second at the explosion (which doesn't even resemble a mushroom cloud). If someone looks at a nuclear blast they are blinded. This is common knowledge and most movies do this the courtesy of at least showing a bright, white flash which does happen. But no the main character looks at it like nothing.

I thought I could forgive this because the person who suggests, "it's nuclear" is shown to be the slightly paranoid owner of the bunker they flee to. I was fully expecting, "it's nuclear" to be rightly pointed out as false later on. Second of all everyone's phone still works and all the electrics of the building work. Once again, this does not happen in a nuclear attack. A nuclear detonation produces and EMP which knocks all electrics out. These are commonly known things, but it's never brought up. The movie sticks with, "it's nuclear" which is simply impossible.

The next section of the movie introduces the element of white suited special forces invading the bunker and kidnapping a child. We are never given an explanation over what this is about. We get one scene later of the child being discovered in some kind of incubation chamber and then it's never seen of again. Why? This obviously isn't what happens from a nuclear attack and I wanted the movie to explain what was going on. Was it a chemical attack? (because it wasn't nuclear) Is everyone in the bunker contaminated? Never explained. This isn't a case of, "it's left up to the audience", this is just bringing up a plot thread and then dropping it minutes later.

The writing for the characters is simply awful because there isn't any. We don't know if some of them know each other, we don't know if they're strangers. They never introduce themselves to each other and therefore we know nothing about them as an audience. I was 30 mins in before I know what everyone's name was. Then 45 mins in I finally figured out that two of them were brothers and another two were a couple.

But I could put up with this. If the movie stayed on this path, it would've been a boring mess and nothing more. But then it gets so much worse. It degrades itself into a nasty mean spirited shock fest of rape, torture and shoving it down your throat that it's "edgy".

Now first of all I am not squeamish, I can put up with gore, with stuff that pushes the limits...if there is any point to it. Even the Saw franchise attempts to have some moral themes running through it and has that factor, "How would I get out of that?" But with this we watch some awful performances of people raping and mutilating each other without any point to it. It's not saying anything about anything. It's not Battle Royale, it's not Lord of the Flies, it has nothing to offer.

But then the climax is simply baffling. After 45 mins of utter garbage the "villains" end up dead and the bunker is burning down. So our protagonist - who barely does anything for entire run time - abandons the survivors (one of which helped her defeat the bad guys and the other was her fiancé) and leaves them to burn to death while she escapes. Btw she escapes by breaking through the toilet, going into the sewer and climbing up outside.

Question 1: Why did she abandon the other two? I get there was only one suit left, but not even a discussion? Just a quick conversation: one of them is injured and the other insane, she's the best candidate for survival. Simple. But no she just leaves. Question 2: When the hell did she figure out that escape route and why didn't she tell anyone about it? There's no quick scene of her figuring it out, she continues on like she planned it. So how long did she plan it for? Why not tell the others? Was it because of the white suited guys? If so, they never show up when she gets out.

There isn't even the attempt of a twist when she does escape. She walks through the ruins, stop, we pan around and see more ruins. That's it? I've already explained how it can't have been a nuclear attack. If it was revealed to be aliens that would've been something, but no.

Utter utter garbage, one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

Lazer Team (2015)

Lives Up To The Hype

[8/10 · 30 January 2016]

I saw Lazer Team yesterday and was not disappointed at all. This is a really great time, a fun, flashy and also warm hearted movie.

Rooster Teeth is a company which consistently produces great content and has been doing so for over a decade now. Very rarely do they miss the mark and even when they do they don't miss it by much. All of the cast here were fantastic, even Burnie Burns, Gavin Free and Michael Jones who have relatively little acting experience compared with co-star Colton Dunn. The characters they play and the performances they give almost seems like a competition to constantly steel the scene from each other and it's great to watch. All of them have great on screen chemistry together and their real life friendships definitely translates to the screen. The performances from other supporting cast members such as Alan Ritchson and Allie DeBerry are also very good with very entertaining characters.

A few things here and there aren't perfect however: the small budget is certainly obvious in places. With over a thousand VFX shots and such limited resources some shots don't hold up as well as others. That being said the vast majority of the work does its job and are reinforced by awesome thrilling and funny action sequences.

And that's the most important thing: the least you can ask from a comedy is that it makes you laugh and this film is hilarious. It runs the gambit of vulgar innuendo, witty one liners and laugh out loud slap stick.

Many Rooster Teeth fans will be rewarded with cameos and in jokes but this is also a great time for those unfamiliar with the group. Lazer Team is a fun as hell roller coaster pop corn flick and it's brilliant. Catch it in cinemas if you can.

Tomorrowland (2015)

I Don't Get the Bad Reviews At All

[9/10 · 8 June 2015]

To my surprise the overall reception of Tomorrowland is quite mixed. This baffles my mind because I enjoyed this movie so much. I left the cinema with a big grin on my face.

Many reviews and criticisms of this movie are so nitpicky and juvenile it makes me sick because there is so much good in this movie. The story is interesting and the ride it takes you on is just such a great adventure from beginning to end with brilliantly inventive set pieces and fantastical visuals. The world created is a great combination of sci-fi gold and retro space age awesome which is both familiar but also very refreshing in the midst of so many copy cat movies of other franchises.

But what makes this movie so enjoyable is the cast. All members are a joy to watch with fantastic chemistry and a really humorous script for them to work with. But what also makes them great is the characters they play. Our new lead played by Britt Robertson is frankly delightful on screen. No more bland, empty shell protagonists that audience members can project onto, this character has a defined and upbeat personality which is a welcome change from all the teen angst brooding. George Clooney is great as ever, but playing more of a disgruntled older man works surprisingly well for him. Hugh Laurie is also great but then again he always is but I want to talk about a real new comer by the name of Raffey Cassidy. When I saw a little girl character getting more screen time I was a little nervous because the quality of usual child actors but wow was I wrong. Cassidy is amazing in her role, evoking charisma and a strong presence to her part. I really hope to see her go far.

The decisive element for reviewers seems to be the movie's message. Many many people have mistaken it for a simple environmental message but there's more to it than that. This movie encourages viewers to do something many people today have forgotten how to do - BE OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THE FUTURE. Time and time again we've seen apocalypse after apocalypse whether it be zombie or nukes. This film gives us a sense of fun and tells us that we should be hopeful of a brighter future. Sure there's challenges but this movie says, "We can overcome those challenges". That's the true moral of this film - "be positive" not "buy a recycling bin" although that is also a good idea. I suppose because one character uttered the words "global warming" everyone just made up their minds without listening to the rest of the sentence.

Tomorrowland is inventive, funny, thrilling, with great characters and actors to play them and a truly relevant message behind it.

GO SEE IT

The Inbetweeners (2012)

It Just Doesn't Click

[2/10 · 1 June 2015]

Many reviews and rating have pretty much all together decided - quite rightly - that the USA Remake of The Inbetweeners is a bit s**t. However many reviewers have failed to specify exactly why.

The answer is that this remake is just too fake. The original show had something truly tangible to work with, you got the feeling that the writers were really drawing on their own teen experiences and it made the show very familiar and as a result ten times funnier. Everyone knows a friends like Jay - always talking crap; Neil - the big idiot; Will the nerdy one and Simon the love sick puppy. The chemistry between the actors was fantastic and the banter is truly accurate to how good friends talk to each other.

But most of all The Inbetweeners was real. The houses weren't mansions and there were no "jocks" or "spring break" it was realistic and down to earth, showing what High School is really like, not looking at it through rose tinted glasses. Every time a character got hung up about something in school it made it all the more funnier because the show and audience know that it really isn't a big deal in reality. There was a kind of running theme of things being quite pathetic which is what gave it it's charm.

The remake misses this point completely. Everything looks like it's shot at magic hour, there's constant obnoxious music and the characters are no longer real. Will is...handsome and not awkward in the slightest. The only thing that makes him appear odd is his blazer and suit case but even then it looks fine. Neil, rather than being a little slow and goofy has become almost brain dead. Jay has just become too obnoxious, sure he was that way in the original but you got the sense that everyone knew how sad he truly was which made him endearing. And finally Simon is every other teen romance protagonist ever.

Another reason it doesn't work is the pacing, the timing of each scene. The verbal jokes in the original worked because they were quick, sharp, something about the dialogue just popped and honestly some things just sound funnier in a British accent. Entire pieces of dialogue are given to the American actors and it just doesn't seem as genuine. But another problem is that it has simply been watered down. The original four said the most obscene things to each other, linking dozens of swear words together in the same sentence and talking about extremely personal subjects. The reason this worked is because that's exactly how teenage friends talk to one another and real slang is used in the show. In the US version everything becomes more PG. In the original we have Jay talking about anal sex, fingering and toe f****ng while also making gay jokes about someone's Dad. Then in the US version Jay calls Will a "renob" because it's boner written backwards (seriously?) No teenager talks that way.

What makes it worse is that as well as verbal jokes not working the visual, physical gags fall flat as well. A joke lifted from the original is Will throwing a Frisbee which ends up hitting a disabled/mentally handicapped person in a wheelchair. In the remake it's a football hitting someone on crutches. Almost the same joke but just toned down a lot. Each time these things happened in the original there was a sense of "oh s**t they didn't just do that..." but in this remake the jokes are made extremely obvious.

What the makers of the US version should've done is not try to copy and paste dialogue and gags from the original, but instead get an American writer to draw on his own experiences to create new jokes and new gags. Someone like David Sedaris or Seth MacFarlane manage to infuse their work with wit and personality. The writers on this show, however, seem to be more concerned with how to adapt an already successful joke written by someone else.

Overall the show itself is not badly made but it's just not funny and for a comedy show that's the worst offence it can give.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)

Simply One of the Best Trek Movies Ever

[9/10 · 1 May 2015]

The reputation of this movie proceeds it and for good reason. Everything lacking in The Motion Picture is made up for ten fold here. The pace is faster, the plot intriguing with nail biting action and great character pieces. This is what Star Trek is at its very best.

The FX work looks fantastic even for today. While the visuals aren't as mind blowing as The Motion Picture they are easily overtaken by the great job done by the cast. All the regulars are on fine form but the highlights come from Shatner and Ricardo Montalban as his nemesis Khan. The duelling relationship between the two characters is what holds the movie together. Kirk is forced to address his ageing self leading to some funny and heartfelt character moments while Khan is simply magnetic to watch. Consumed with vengeance but also pride, Montalban steals every scene while endless quotable lines.

The direction by Nicholas Meyer really makes the film come to life. This is no more evident than in the battle sequences. Rather than the Star Wars style large scale battles this is a more like submarine warfare. The conflicts hinge on whits as well as fire power. The first engagement is so tension filled it could be cut with a knife.

Add to this a great musical score by James Horner and you have the complete package. There's a reason this is regarded as the best - it has great action, acting, writing, directing and a thrilling ride from beginning to end.

Great fun, great movie.

Star Trek: Insurrection (1998)

Like They Were Only Half Trying

[5/10 · 1 May 2015]

Star Trek tries to do three things - provide a sci-fi adventure; showcase memorable character moments; convey a moral theme. These are the staples that when done right make Star Trek the legendary franchise that it is.

With Insurrection it's like all three of these are only half done. What results is a muddled, clunky and not very memorable. Our story is engaging to start with but never quite lives up to what is needed to be interesting. Our characters are given some good moments to shine but some of it has been done a lot before in the series. You'll chuckle at funny lines but no one will pull on your heart strings.

This brings us to the most controversial aspect of the film for fans: the moral. On the surface it's a strong one, echoing many elements of human history to make us think. But it falls apart when examined closer. Put simply the - a noble idea but in the context of the actual movie it falls apart. This only partly puts us on the side of the main characters which bogs down the plot and makes it difficult to invest in.

In terms of positives there is some great action, FX and awesome musical score as always. The performances are strong, especially from Patrick Stewart who almost cleans up the uneven moral theme.

So while the story is weak there's still some entertaining moments. Honestly this edition to the franchise just falls quite flat.

Star Trek: Enterprise (2001–2005)

Was Shaping Up to be Really Great

[6/10 · 1 May 2015]

Star Trek Enterprise was an interesting idea. It was a show designed to be a prequel of sorts to the Original Series and show a Starfleet that was much rougher around the edges. The Utopian people of perfection from Roddenberry's original vision were still quite a way off in this time period. This was an ambitious idea but one that never really payed off fully.

The problem comes from the first and second seasons. In short they're just quite boring. After going through TNG, DS9 and Voyager the first few adventures in Enterprise just seem like small fry. It takes away the tension when we have a crew racing to save single colonies or ships when a few years before we were watching an intergalactic war with 800 Billion lives at stake. The first Season is just a bit of a drag. The second is an improvement. It has a few good and interesting episodes but nothing that really blows anyone away.

That all changes, however, in season 3. Rather than the usual week by week format that Star Trek is famous for this season opted for an over arching story line and honestly it worked way better for it. This story line is intense, high stakes and offers huge amounts of character development throughout episodes. This is the point where our characters are forced to make tough choices and they don't always take the moral high ground. It was truly thrilling stuff that will have you on the edge of your seat. Season 4 was back to being episodic but with all round better episodes. I suppose the writers had finally got the hang of their new characters and gave them a lot more to do.

The characters themselves are a mixed bag. Captain Archer played by Scott Bakula had an interesting journey throughout the show. He started out as the, "Captain America of Space" but then in Season 3 - like the rest of the cast - became more complex and as his challenges increased he was forced to become a tougher hero. The other two note worthy ones are "Trip" and T'Pol. These two completed the "main cast" that drive the show. Trip was a great edition, reminiscent of Bones from TOS, playing the audience advocate and the Captain's moral anchor. T'Pol was much like Spock in that she appears cold and calculating but has a very emotional and complicated core in an otherwise logical shell.

The rest of the cast serve their purpose but in general aren't given that much to do besides press buttons. This negatively affects episodes centred around them. We feel like we barely know them and it's difficult to care about them.

Overall if the series had continued it might of hit the heights of DS9 - which had a shaky start but brilliant once hitting it's stride. But because Enterprise was cut short it's a mixed bag. My recommendation is to watch the pilot, skip to season 3 and then watch only the best episodes of season 4.

Some shining moments but overall a bit flat.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)

Great Ideas But Sluggish Ride

[6/10 · 1 May 2015]

I always enjoy watching The Motion Picture but there's a reason some have dubbed it, the Slow Motion Picture. This movie has some interesting aspects but moves at less than a snails pace.

Star Trek in general has always been great at giving us both a great sci-fi adventure and outlandish characters but with a moralistic theme woven throughout. In this movie we get one out of three, but that one is still strong. The story and where it takes us is will have your brain engaged and the FX (coupled with a brilliant musical score) are simply spectacular - some of the best of any Trek movie.

However it's unfortunate that that is where the positives end. We just don't get the great character moments we need to really get invested. The only thing keeping the cast afloat is the content from the original series. If this was someone's first Star Trek movie it's unlikely they'd want to continue. New characters simply aren't interesting and don't go anywhere.

But the main thing bogging the movie down is the pace - it is incredibly slow. It's been speculated that the film makers wanted to emulate 2001: A Space Odyssey. This is a noble goal but it doesn't work as well in the context of Star Trek. It takes way too long to get all the characters together and even longer to actually get the main plot together. Once that plot gets there it really does pick up but the sluggish right to that point will test the patience of many watchers.

If you're a die hard Trekkie give it a go, but honestly the series works if you just skip to the next one.

Extraterrestrial (2014)

Highly Entertaining With Some Good BIts

[6/10 · 26 March 2015]

This film could have been great, but overall it's only very entertaining. This movie is not one to be taken that seriously. if you see the trailer to the end and get the hint of an actual "anal probe" scene you understand what you're in for.

This movie follows a bunch of college kids, you'll forget their names because they're honestly not that important. They go out to do what every group of young adults do in horror movies: stay in a cabin and party but suddenly horror happens and blah blah you know this one by heart. However while watching you get the impression that the filmmakers knew that so they just ran with it. The movie doesn't take itself too seriously and there are a few deliberate gags here and there. Michael Ironside for instance is mostly played for laughs and it's clear some other bit parts are hamming it up a lot. This doesn't make for quality film making but it's entertaining.

Despite this though, there are parts of the movie which are genuinely good. A B plot of the film involves a small town sheriff investigating instances of Alien sightings and these parts are actually quite compelling. The actor playing the Sheriff does a good job and these are the only times the film ever invokes a sense of mystery and suspense. Perhaps if they had thought about it longer, they may have realized that this plot would have been an actual good movie.

That being said the Sheriff scenes have their effect only to a certain point. About halfway through the film the wise, "less is more" mentality pretty much flies out the window. Remember how in some X-Files episodes whenever aliens appeared they were always in shadow, never seeing their eyes and with constant bright lights behind them. Or in Signs where you only caught glimpses of them and then when they did show themselves they were kept in a wide shot, keeping an aura of mystery and terror. Well in this movie they didn't care about that because there are aliens all over the damn place. After a while the jump scare of having one appear loses its effect if it ever had one to begin with.

All that being said, this is a movie to sit down with friends, share some drinks and just be entertained which I think was the filmmakers' intention - hopefully.

The Anomaly (2014)

Brilliant Idea but a flawed script

[6/10 · 24 March 2015]

If only Noel Clarke had waited a little longer. If he had waited longer then he could have fixed the script and/or got a bigger studio to back him. This would have put this movie into the big leagues - a British Minority Report if you will.

Noel Clarke plays Ryan, a PTSD soldier who wakes up in a mysterious place not knowing how he got there. He continues to black out, only becoming himself for a period of ten minutes. It turns out he's being controlled by another personality that has taken over his body and soon learns that the one controlling him has a dangerous objective.

This is a great concept, almost like a Memento with the way the narrative flows. The way the story unfolds is intriguing and has you wanting to discover what's going on as much as our protagonist.

However there are draw backs which is what I think is what has led to it's low score. The characters aren't very engaging to start. Clarke has proved to be a great actor but he's given himself little to work with here. The B grade villains and weird as hell cops don't help either. Ian Somerhalder is the only one who exerts any form of charisma and is given brief moments to truly shine. Others, however, fall flat.

Another thing that bogs the script down is the number of frankly unbelievable plot contrivances. Some characters will make huge logic leaps to further the plot, while other times what our protagonist wants is simply handed to him on a silver plate. I suspect that this may be due to a low budget though which sadly makes the visual FX less than impressive.

Another awkward part is the numerous fight scenes. Clarke is many things but he is not a martial artist and it shows quite a bit. The choreography is the standard Bourne rip off filler and it isn't executed very well. Rather than letting it play out in an intense way, the editor opted to constantly speed ramp parts from fast to slow which can look flashy but when it's in every fight scene it gets tiresome.

This film could have been great, with more time taken on the script and a Luc Besson type director to give the overall film more of a personality. Perhaps this is a rare instance where more money would have helped a lot.

As it is, The Anomaly is an interesting watch, but ultimately a bit forgettable which is a shame with such a good idea.

Jupiter Ascending (2015)

A Perfectly Enjoyable Adventure and a Visual Feats

[6/10 · 6 February 2015]

For all the complaining people do about remake/sequels they never seem to go out and see anything truly original. Well here you have it. Jupiter Ascending will not be my best movie of the year, but I'm really glad I saw it. I was never bored or confused of shaking my head at plot points, I had a really good time with it.

First, the negatives to get them out the way: The Villain. I don't know what the actor was going for or what the directors told him but it's certainly a weird performance and ultimately he never comes across as a major threat. Although his Winged Devil/Bat/Crocodile Henchman more than makes up for this. Second: the first act. It's a little shaky and the pacing is kind of off. For some reason they decided to include scenes in these far off worlds and characters from the get go instead of letting the audience experience them with Mila Kunis' character. As a result you end up with scenes of characters talking about things that at the time have no baring on anything you're seeing.

However, the rest is a great ride. The cast - apart from the villain - do very well with the material. Kunis comes across as likable and funny, suitably down to Earth but progressing toward strength and confidence as the film goes on. Sean Bean is a damn bad-ass when he's on screen and steels all the scenes he's given. But most surprising is Tatum. It seems after paying the bills with Jump Street and then flexing his real acting muscles with Foxcastcher he's finally found his true screen presence. He comes across as a very capable warrior with a good heart, but also very sympathetic at the same time.

The visuals are spectacular. The Wachowskis really blew me away with the scale of this universe they've created with highly imaginative worlds, technology and action sequences which are all very thrilling. If you like world building (like me) you'll be waiting for them to bring out the "Art of the Film" books to appreciate it even more. Combine all this with a brilliant score from Michael Giacchino to set the mood and you'll be fully transported to these incredible settings.

All in all it's a fun ride with a shaky first act and odd villain, but the cast will keep you interested and the spectacle will keep you in awe.

If you love sci-fi or pure adventure then don't give this a miss.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2015)

Best talk show host because he just talks to them

[9/10 · 7 February 2013]

I only watched the Late Late Show with Kilborn once and wasn't a fan of his. I didn't pay any attention to the show much after that and so left it alone. It was the film Kickass that sparked my interest when I suddenly saw a fellow Scotsman appear on an American talk show when I came back to the show and I've never looked back.

Often I decide if I want to watch an episode of a talk show depending on which guests are on it but Craig Ferguson as a host is reason enough to catch every episode regardless. His laid back attitude and often improvised monologues give him a very honest and down to Earth presence. He has a fantastic sense of humour and copes very well when things don't quite go according to plan. One such incident is when he accidentally smashes the screen on the teleprompter, but he just laughs and continues on with the opening whilst using a brush to clean the glass up.

Ferguson is also fantastic in the main segment of the show: the interviews. Instead of making a big deal out of a celebrities latest project, Ferguson barely mentions it and instead has a laid back and funny chat with them. The approach of a conversation instead of interview usually results in guests looking saddened when they run out of time. Morgan Freeman for instance when told his time was up, comically slammed his hand on the desk and shouted "NO". Craig then used the commercial time to continue the interview despite the producer's objections.

I know the title of the series is "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" but because of how popular it has become and what Ferguson has made the show into it has been renamed in my mind "Craig Ferguson's The Late Late Show".

The Prince of Egypt (1998)

Beats The 10 Commandments

[9/10 · 20 December 2012]

The Prince of Egypt to this day remains one of the most underrated movies out there. The re-telling of the story of exodus as an animated musical sounds ridiculous but it works so well here. The way in which the story is told is so brilliant that it becomes as visually stunning as it is moving.

The animation in this movie is simply breathtaking. It's a perfect blend of CGI and hand drawn animation. It uses these techniques highly to its advantage and creates scenes of incredible scope as well as fluent action and faster paced sequences.

This time the story is focused on the relationship between Moses and Ramses being brothers. The journey they both go through from true brothers to mortal enemies is heart breaking. It's also down to the fantastic voice acting from Ralph Fiennes and Val Kilmer that these characters come to life. The supporting cast are also show steelers from Michelle Pfiefer, Patrick Stewart and Jeff Golblum.

However without a doubt the best part of this movie is the musical score and songs. Hans Zimmer lends his always astonishing score with a middle eastern backing. The songs featured are fantastic for conveying the emotion and action and condense the story without losing important factors. After watching this movie I can guarantee you'll be humming segments of the score to yourself.

All in all The Prince of Egypt is the best version of exodus and a great epic on its own. It's definitely a movie that needs more recognition to buy it, watch it and love it.