FrancesTheWHORE Reviews

Fever Pitch (2005)

Barrymore Does Not Have The Same Chemistry With Fallon As She Did With Sandler.

[7/10 · 12 April 2005]

Fever Pitch turned out to be a pretty decent movie although I do not believe it represented itself fairly in the previews. It was made to be a comedy by the Farrelly Brothers and it was much more of a love story with a few funny moments. It is probably good they went this route with the film, due to the fact that I do not really think Jimmy Fallon is a very funny guy.

Fallon plays Ben, a math teacher and avid Boston Red Sox fan who has not missed a game in 23 years. Drew Barrymore is Lindsey Meeks, a professional of some kind (I'm not really sure if we are told what she actually does or not). Lindsey is up for a promotion and is working hard to make her relationship with Ben work while still reaching her promotion at work. She seems to be putting more into the relationship than Ben is at this point.

The ending was pretty original and somewhat sweet. Again, this is not what I was expecting from the Farrelly's. Also, if you, too, are a Red Sox fan, then this is a nice twist on how events went down and a good way to relive what was probably your greatest year in baseball.

If you plan on seeing a typical Farrelly gross-out film, this is not it. If you are on a date and want to see a decent movie that both men and women can enjoy, then this will do it. I rate it 7 of 10.

The Ring Two (2005)

The Ring Two Features More Of The Creepy Samara And An Instant Classic Reindeer Scene!

[8/10 · 18 March 2005]

The Ring Two starts off pretty much where The Ring left off. Rachel (Naomi Watts) and Aidan (David Dorfman) are starting over again after all the horrors of the first movie are, for the time being, finished. It is not long before some events, which are not so coincidental, start to occur. Rachel, as the new editor of a small town newspaper, listens to the police scanner to what may be the biggest story to ever hit this small town. It seems a teenager has been murdered with his girlfriend cowering in the basement, but that is not the strange thing. It is something about the murder victim's face! Rachel decides she has to see if the events are related to what she has just been through and goes to see the corpse. To her dismay, the face resembles those who have died before. This is how the story begins and the evil Samara begins to show her face again, after she finds Rachel.

The Ring Two is not as mysterious as the first. That is easy to figure out, most of the questions were answered in the first, so it leaves more "meat and potatoes", so to speak, for the sequel. You get to see much more of Samara. Boy, does she look creepy crawling out of that well. You will see what I mean. This installment relies much more on imagery, such as the tree we all recognize from the first movie and who will ever be able to forget the instant classic scene with the reindeer or the moose (not sure what they were).

The fact is, I never expect much with sequels so I was pleasantly surprised by this one. While it is not as good, or original as the first movie, it is no slouch and far better than the last horror movie I saw, Boogeyman. No comparison whatsoever. I give 8 of 10 stars.

Robots (2005)

Superb! Classic Robin Williams!

[13 March 2005]

Sure, this is mostly a kids movie but as you have probably read many times, there is enough humor aimed at the adults to keep them entertained while with the kids. This is definitely good for all ages.

Ewan McGregor stars as Rodney Copperbottom but it is clearly Robin Williams who steals the movie as Fender. He clearly overshadows McGregor, Halle Berry, Amanda Bynes, Mel Brooks, Greg Kinnear and all others involved. Of course, this is really about the animation. Everything about Robots is rendered exquisitely. The time and effort that must have went into making this movie is astonishing.

I have read a few comments and reviews concerning Williams being annoying but that is absolutely 100% UNTRUE! I thoroughly enjoyed William's performance, which is saying something considering it is only his voice. Robot's marketing of William's character was not misleading. It is exactly as seen in the trailers. If you thought it was annoying, then why see it? Some people need to smarten up I suppose.

Don't believe the haters here. Most only want to go against the grain. If you did not enjoy Williams' performance in the trailer, then please don't be disappointed when you see the same thing in the movie. I can honestly say that this is a great movie-going experience for everybody.

U Turn (1997)

Billy Bob Thornton And Joaquin Phoenix Stole The Movie, With What Little Parts They Had.

[7/10 · 8 March 2005]

U-Turn is about a man named Bobby Cooper (Sean Penn) who is on his way to pay a debt to a gangster when his car breaks down in the small, redneck town of Superior. There, Bobby is taken advantage of by the good IL' boys in every way possible, from the dirty mechanic to the town sheriff. He meets a beautiful girl named Grace (Jennifer Lopez) and falls for her, and she seemingly falls for him as well. From here, there are twists and turns in the plot all the way to the very end of the movie.

Sean Penn was decent as Bobby, but seemed a bit week and was taken advantage of a bit too easily. I guess that was Bobby's character so he did a good job. Jennifer Lopez did not have as big a part as I thought, but she did OK with it. Nothing spectacular, just OK.

The characters that stole the movie, in my honest opinion, were Darrell the mechanic (Billy Bob Thornton) and Toby N. Tucker (Joaquin Phoenix). They had the redneck stereotypes down pat, especially Thornton.

This movie was a decent little thriller. I am glad I did not see it way back when it was in theaters but it is OK for a rental. I give 7 of 10 stars.

Hells Angels on Wheels (1967)

Sonny Barger's Recommendation As The Most Accurate Hell's Angels Movie.

[6/10 · 27 February 2005]

Hell's Angels On Wheels is the movie Hell's Angels president Sonny Barger recommends as the most true to life movie about the Hell's Angels in his autobiography, which is why I decided to rent it and see the movie for myself.

Buddy (Adam Roarke) is the Sonny Barger character of this movie and the leader of that particular chapter of Hell's Angels. The movie starts when Buddy and his crew are passing through a gas station when Poet (Jack Nicholson) gets fired from his job as a gas station attendant.

Eventually, Buddy takes a liking to Poet, after an altercation between Poet and another Angel over his broken headlight, and later when Poet backs Buddy up in a barroom brawl. Pretty soon, they vote Poet in as a prospect and he sees the way of life of the Hell's Angels. Buddy passes him his own woman and takes another from a club member. This seems strange to Poet at first, but he finally gets what is going on and decides he does not like it.

Plotwise, there is not much to this movie. It turns out to be mostly about the girl who gets passed between Buddy and Poet, named Shill (Sabrina Scharf). It is mostly just partying, bike riding and fighting, which I guess is what they are pointing out. Nicholson and Roarke did a great job acting and made the story better than if it would have been had they not been in it. As it is, I only give it about 5.5/10.

Session 9 (2001)

Long, Drawn Out Story With Very Little Payoff In The End.

[5/10 · 25 January 2005]

Horrifying does not describe this film. Very few films are horrifying to me but this one less than others. If it weren't for the last 15 minutes of this movie, I would not even classify it as a horror movie but it did try to deliver in the end. It was clever and I really did not see it coming, but I still feel it left something to be desired.

Session 9 is a story about a group of workers hired to remove asbestos from an old insane asylum. Due to the fact that the owner needs the job, he agrees to finish in a ridiculous amount of time with a large bonus for incentive. The scene is certainly set for a nice horror flick, but given the circumstances, this movie just fails to deliver.

There are those that will tell you "you just don't get it" or some people will even try to make themselves feel better by belittling those who do not like this movie. I can honestly say that I understood this film and I did not like it. I felt it took too long to get to the point and when it finally does pay off, it is not very big.

Let me break it down. If you like horror movies like The Ring or Saw, then this movie is not for you. If you like movies like Re-Animator or Castle Freak, then this movie is not for you. If you liked Abandon, then maybe this movie is for you. I did not like The Grudge either, but I would watch it ten times before watching this one again. 5/10

Dancing at the Blue Iguana (2000)

Surprisingly Well Acted But Lacked A Good Story.

[6/10 · 23 December 2004]

This was a movie about the lives of 5 different strippers (Jennifer Tilly, Charlotte Ayanna, Sandra Oh, Daryl Hannah & Sheila Kelley). Supposedly, the original script was intended to be built around Kelley's character "Stormy", but as the actresses got to know their own characters and grow into them, the script was adapted to feature all 5. In fact, I think the Stormy character had the least amount of screen time. It was probably the worst story of the five. None of the five stories stuck out as being great. All were average, thus, the movie was average.

The five co-stars here are all good actresses in my opinion, and that saved the movie from the horrible movie it could have been. One thing I did like about the movie is that the actresses that played strippers were not afraid to play strippers. I mean that in a couple of different ways. First, and in many ways most importantly, they were not afraid to be nude on camera. Usually, even in B-movies, there is one actress who wants to play the character but does not want to do what is necessary to play the character. Lets face it, we watch this movie because it is about strippers, and therefore, we expect to see them strip! The second point I want to make here is that the actresses did their homework as far as how the stripper routines work. They obviously took a class or studied on their own the art of "working the pole" and lap-dances, etc. This gives the movie credibility. Not one of the girls looked out of place dancing in the nude. If I was grading this purely on the striptease portion of this movie, it would get a 10. Pretty good stuff.

Unfortunately, this movie is being graded as a whole, and as far as the plots go, they are not quite up to par. The actresses went as far as they could with the given material and more often than not, the movie dragged on, despite the acting, itself, being quite good. I've just recently noticed Sandra Oh and I have to say, she is a pretty versatile and darn good actress.

Jennifer Tilly also stepped up a bit as the rough, biker chick stripper/dominatrix on the side. She played the most troubled girl at the club, Jo, who had to deal with the fact that she was pregnant, on drugs, etc. Everything that could be wrong with her was wrong with her.

Robert Wisdom also did a great job as the sleazy strip club owner, Eddie. His character was strong and was the guy who kept the girls in line at work.

Overall, this was a pretty average story, despite how well the girls and rest of the cast did. I have a feeling a different cast would have made a complete mockery of the movie. As it is, I give it a 6 of 10.

Savage Roses (2002)

Lesbian, Gangster, Anti-Male, Below Average B-Movie. Can You Say Terrible?

[1/10 · 10 August 2004]

My one line summary says it all. I agree with the reviewer who compares the acting to a porn movie. It's just horrible. No ifs, ands or buts about it, this movie could not be worse even if I had made it.

It went out of it's way to try to prove women are the stronger sex, physically and mentally. You won't find one positive male figure in this movie. Usually they're either a real jerk or a stereotype of some kind.

My recommendation to anyone who sees this movie sitting on a shelf somewhere is to AVOID AT ALL COSTS! You couldn't pay me to watch this bag of monkey crap again! I'm surprised I got through it all the first time.